If I Should Stay
The leaves, what are left of them, are a dull brown.
I feel my footsteps echo back on the half-frozen ground.
I walk up to the great big oak tree.
The one we used to pass by in cabs.
And see every now and again.
It looks so sad in its hibernating state.
It feels so lonely out here.
And I wonder, as I stand here alone,
If I should stay
I sit here in the small cafe.
The one we used to go to together.
I order your favorite drink.
And sip my own,
The one you called "too sweet".
But you were always so much sweeter.
And I wonder, as I watch your drink chill,
If I should stay
I stand in the place,
Where we first met
We were so much happier then.
At least…I thought we were.
I swear I can still see you there
Standing proud and tall
And see your small quirk of your lips
That meant I had said the right thing
And hear your deep laugh
That was only meant for me
The nostalgia makes me ache for you
And I wonder, as I miss you,
If I should stay
I walk slowly up to where you lie.
Your name etched in cool stone.
It all seems so impersonal, so separating.
I feel the barrier of death between us,
And I wish it wasn't there.
I wish my name were there instead.
Or next to yours, so we can be together.
But every time I think these thoughts,
I swear I can hear you,
Telling me not to say that, telling me to stay
And with your voice echoing in my head, I ask myself,
If I should stay
I sit alone, but waiting for someone,
I am trying to move on, however hard it is.
I glance around aimlessly, searching for nothing.
When I see you, staring back at me,
And I stand up quickly, anger filling my blood,
This must be some cruel trick, and I start towards you.
You open your mouth but my fist is faster.
The shock of impact snaps me into reality.
It is you, and you have come back for me.
You smile up at me from the floor,
I stand shocked for a moment,
Then I break into a smile, and begin to laugh
A foreign feeling after all these months,
And as I stand over you, laughing with joy,
I am glad I stayed.