My version of how the last ep should have went! And I would just like to say an (early) Merry Christmas to anyway reading this. I hope you all enjoy the holiday.
Nate knew what he had to do, he knew it as soon as Juliet's brother told him that Serena could be in trouble. Despite not wanting to, and it pained him slightly to do so he picked up his phone and phoned Dan. If there was going to be anyone who knew where Serena was it was him or Blair, and he really didn't want to involve Blair this earlier. He needed to hear for himself why she would go after Serena, he had to know what was going to do to the girl he lo... No he didn't love her anymore, not like that anyway, he loved her exactly like how he loved Blair, like a friend. And even if he knew this was completely false, he was going to convince himself it was true.
Apologizing to his father, who merely gave him a slightly too understanding smile when he explained what was going on, he headed to the VanDerWoodsen's. And he hoped sincerely that Dan was right about the fact that Serena was safe. He wasn't sure if he could handle it if anything happened to her. In the group of four, she was the most alive one, they all had their traits, there own place in the group, Serena's was never letting the others feel depressed, unless it was of her doing of course, but that's a different story... And even if the other's had taken to Lily's home the "Humphrey's" it would always be her house to him. The first place he ever met her.
"Mommy." a four year old Nate moaned "I want to go home and play!"
"Sweetheart, I need to talk to a friend for a moment, please be patient." Anne replied.
"'s not fair." he huffed crossing his arms, and right then he was nearly knocked down by a girl who was laughing as her blonde hair fanned out from behind her.
"Serena! We do not run in the house!" came a voice behind Nate. It was said in such a strict tone that it terrified him but seemed to not to have any effect on the girl who was now bouncing on the couch.
"Nate, why don't you go and talk to Serena, while I talk to Lily?" It may have been phrased as a question, but knew it was order, so he nodded his head and went to over to the couch. Somewhat anxious, to go near the girl who seemed in a world of her own, he felt like he should just stand by and watch, not invite himself into her world. However he never needed to, she seen him while doing another spin, and climbed down from the couch and held out her hand:
"I'm Serena!" she introduced herself, smiling the biggest smile he'd ever seen. "What's your name?"
"My name's Nate."
"Hmph Natie, I like it!" she replied.
"No it's Nate."
"That's what I said." she said while laughing "I like Natie better."
She nodded, and he didn't really want to take the smile of her face so he decided to just play along. She turned around and got out a box full with colouring pencils.
"Want to help me?"
He nodded as the two of them sat down and scattered the contents of the box between them. They drew for a little while, he was drawing pictures of boats while she just seemed to be drawing whatever came to her mind, and changing her picture halfway though. Then all of a sudden she just stopped, and smiled, and he seen her eyes twinkling, but what he didn't see coming was:
"Tig! You're it!" she squealed before running away, laughing as she did so.
"That's not fair! You didn't tell me." Nate called as he ran after her.
"Surprises are fun." she called back. "And you're slow! You'll never catch me!"
He put all of his effort into it, he really did but she was always that little bit ahead of him.
"Slow down!" he called eventually getting tired.
"Shh." she hissed. "My little brother's sleeping, Mommy says I'm not meant to wake him up. Even if he said he wanted to play. No-one else is here to play when Erik's sleeping."
Her smile had fallen from her face when she said that and even at four he didn't like seeing her upset so he said the only comforting thing he could think of "I'm here. I'm playing with you."
"Yeah." she smiled. "But you not as fast as I am. I'm the best."
"Uh-uh!" he replied back. "You didn't play fair."
"Did too! Not my fault you were slow in chasing me."
He had opened his mouth to respond when their mother's called back to the room he had first entered. They both walked back, and she had randomly grabbed his hand and began swinging it along with her's.
"We have to go now Nate." his mother informed him, and this time he didn't want to leave, playing with Serena was more fun than playing with himself. But his mom had grabbed his hand and was walking him out, but he looked behind him.
Serena was stood next to her mother, waving at him. "Come visit again, Natie."
"Always." he smiled, thinking that there was nowhere he would rather play, even if she played a game where he never really understood the rules.
He was silently praying for the car to get to the VanDerWoodsen's quicker. He may not have been speaking to her lately, but that didn't mean that he wasn't panicking about her safety. It felt too much like last year to him. Him going to see Serena, only to be stopped and realized that she was hurt, all because of his dumb cousin. He couldn't see her like that again, connected to machine's without that smile on her face. He would have done anything to save her that night, oh who was he kidding! He would do anything to save her any night, but that was the one that stood out for him, even if was just because of the day after.
He woke up, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. It took him a second to realize where he was, and who was staring down at him.
"Pop tart" Serena asked.
And it was just so random, and so her that he had to smile. "How did you get pop tarts in a hospital?"
"Blair got them." she replied.
"And how did you get Blair Waldorf to buy you something as mundane as pop tarts?"
"I think she felt sorry for me, being in hospital and all that." she laughed. "So do you want one?"
"Do you have to ask?"
"Nope!" she sang back. "Yours is on the table."
He laughed as he went to pick it up, and then went to go and sit back in the seat when he could feel her eyes on him, and he turned around to find her looking at him expectantly.
"What?" he asked feeling as if he was missing something. Until she patted the bit of the bed next to her.
"I don't bite you know." she laughed, and deciding to follow her lead like normal. When he seen her smile slip, and he wondered what was wrong.
"Promise to tell me the truth if I ask you something?" she whispered so softly he wasn't sure if she had actually said anything at all.
"Always." he said back.
"Is it true? Did Tripp say I was driving?"
And there was the question that no-one had wanted to answer. No-one had wanted to be the one to tell her, which left him wondering who it was who had actually told her.
"I heard Mom and Blair earlier, they thought I was sleeping. But is it true? You promised to tell the truth."
And he had, so he swallowed the part that was in his mouth and turned to face her, placing a hand over her cheek, not failing to notice that she cringed in slight pain.
"I'm sorry." was all he could manage, but she caught his hidden meaning, she always did. She slumped back into her pillows and smiled sadly at him.
"You don't have to be sorry." she said softly. "You are amazing! You came to save me, when I left you after... When you said..."
"We don't have to talk about that." he said a little harsher than he meant to, her words bringing back the painful memories from that night.
"I want to." she replied softly. "I want to say sorry. I... I wanted to... I just... You hurt me. And in my own little twisted way, I guess I wanted to hurt you a little too. But that's not why I went with Tripp. I..."
"Serena, I really don't need to hear about you and my cousin."
"But that's just it!" she exclaimed "At the end it had nothing to do with him. I was too scared to stay. I mess up relationships Nate, it's what I do! But I could always count on you, take last night for instance..."
"I never done anything." he muttered.
"No? You only only drove up to see me. To make sure I was OK. Then you only came to the hospital, and stayed next to me all night. Not to mention hitting your own cousin..."
"How did you kno...?" he began to ask when he seen her raised eyebrows "How does Blair know these things?"
"You really want to psychoanalyse Blair?" she laughed "But what I want to say... What I want is... I want to re-do that night. So that I can..."
She trailed off then not able to finish her sentence. But Nate couldn't let it go, not when it sounded like... well not when she might regret choosing Tripp.
"Why would you re-do the night?" he asked softly, hope in his voice and shining in his eyes.
"So I could pick the right cousin." she whispered, without looking at him. "I'm so sorry Natie."
And just like normal that nickname got him, the nickname was hers, and hers alone. When they were together Blair used to hate it that Serena was the only one that was allowed to use it, but he could never let someone else call him that. Not when it was her who said in the first place. He seen how vulnerable she looked, how truly honest she was being with him, something so rare for her. She was letting him in to a place where not many people had been, to the part she kept hidden, even to herself sometimes. So he done the only thing he could think of. Wrap his arms around her, and let her use him as a shield. If she wasn't strong enough to be her own shield, he would gladly step in, and in doing so letting her know that he felt the same we had when she had left that night. And he placed a soft kiss on her head as she rested her head on his shoulder. Yes, in that moment he could everything would work out.
When the car came to a stop he ran towards the elevator, nearly colliding with Vanya. He shouted sorry back, but kept on running. Maybe Dan and Blair were back by now, and he could try and figure out at least one thing in this big crazy mess. On the journey over it struck him that he probably should be mad that Juliet used him to get to Serena, but he could only be mad that she had ever tried to hurt Serena. Especially when he refused to believe Serena that Juliet wasn't all that she seemed. So he walked into the apartment somewhat crashing the party, but when he looked around he couldn't see Dan or Blair. The shock came when he turned around.
There was Serena, safe for everyone to see. Except she had just walked in with Juliet. And his protective nature kicked in, the way it always did when she was there.
"What's she doing here?" he asked Serena, managing to sound mad at Juliet yet worried about Serena at the same time.
"It's OK." Serena responded. "I invited her."
"You invited her?"
"Yes."
"But she..."
"I know."
"If you know, why is she here?"
"I need to speak to my Mom." she shook and walked off leaving him to turn around to Juliet questions in his eyes. Questions he really needed someone to answer, and he needed fast answers at that.
"Serena will explain." Juliet said as she walked away. Then she paused and turned around to him. "I'm sorry, there are some things you don't about yet. I just wanted to hurt Serena like she hurt me, but... You seem to really care for her. And... she needs someone like that. I know you don't think much of me right now, but I don't think you should give up. Give her enough time and she will give up."
Juliet walked away leaving Nate standing there pondering what she said. He seemed to go into a daze while everyone learned exactly who Ben was, and why Juliet hated Serena, but he never really tuned into it. The only time he did start to pay attention was when everyone started to leave. They all crammed into the elevator and stood in silence, and when it reached to ground everyone walked out, and just as they were about to walk out of the door, that's when he sprung to action.
"Serena, can I talk to you?"
"Sure." she smiled. "You go B, take Erik back home. I need the walk anyway."
Then as we watched them leaving, Dan going as slow as he could without actually stopping, we waited until they had all left then she turned to me.
"Interesting night huh?" she laughed, never letting anything get too serious.
"Scary would be my word of choice." he corrected.
"Scary? You weren't the one who found out they were being punished for something they didn't do." she laughed.
"No." he replied honestly. "But I got told that you were in danger, and that is the scariest thing I can imagine. Serena, I would rather be in pain, than even think about you in any. I love you, and I think we should give us a chance, Serena we were good together and... What's wrong?"
Her hesitant expression made him stop, as it was written on her face that he was missing something.
"I just... I chose..."
"Dan." he finished sounding resigned to the fact that he had lost the girl who's laughter and smile still occupied his dreams.
"It's not... I mean... Something just never seemed finished with Dan. Like there was something left for us."
"But there wasn't for us?" he angrily cut her off.
"It's not that it's just... I think, I don't think me and Dan will last. I mean there is that weirdness of our parents being married, and sharing a sibling, and I loved him, love him, it's just not the do or die kind of love. But something's left there, and it doesn't feel right to not see what it is. But with us..."
She trailed off biting her lip "With us, I don't think it will end. You remember the first day we met?"
"Of course I do. You cheated." he smiled.
"Did not!" came her indigent reply "Well maybe... but the point is... I can't stop running yet, but I'm close Nate. I'm close to accepting that saying you love someone won't make them leave like it did with Mom and... well everyone she ever brought home. And when I get to that point... If you can wait a little longer, and I know that's not fair to ask... But Nate... I think we might be do or die. And I do so enjoy living."
He smiled at her, not knowing what else to say to that. If today proved anything it was that he would never stop chasing Serena VanDerWoodsen. From the day he met her, to the day he would die, he would always chase her. Because even when he was convinced that they weren't on good terms, he would do anything for her, and he loved her too much to just let her go.
"We should go." he replied. "Chuck and Blair are going to know what happened, and it's best not to make them wait too long."
She nodded, and walked out saying goodbye to Vanya, as Nate apologised once more. But when it came to walking different ways she suddenly paused.
"Hey Nate?"
"Yes?" he answered turning around to face her, and he could see her smile illuminating her face.
"Come visit again, Natie?" she said. And he knew this was her way of telling him that things between them would never be over. So he responded in kind, just like he had all those years ago:
"Always."