Up, Up, and Away

by Swallowbird

Joxer and Jett go on a little adventure.

"Up Up and Away"

by Susan Owens

Copyright 2003

Rated: PG

Summary: Joxer and Jett get into trouble after meeting up with Salmoneus.

Timeline: AU Season 6, second year of Jett's parole from Maramis prison. Takes

place a few weeks after the events chronicled in "Sweet Poison."

Joxer watched as his brother angrily kicked a clump of dirt. "Jett?"

His brother turned around and gave Joxer a glare that made Joxer stop in his

tracks. "What do you want?" Jett snapped.

"Uh, are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! I'm tired of being told what to do by that ... that woman!"

Jett snarled.

Joxer came up to his brother carefully. "You know that Xena's only trying to

help you change."

"Xena? Did I say anything about Xena?"

Joxer looked confused. "No, but that's who I figured you were talking about."

"Well, I wasn't!" Jett snapped. "I was talking about your girlfriend,

Gabrielle."

Joxer's eyes grew wide. "Jett, please! Not so loud. She'll hear you."

"So what?" Jett turned away from Joxer and said as loud as he could, "JOXER

LOV..." Before Jett could finish what he was going to say, Joxer placed his hand

over Jett's mouth. Jett's eyes grew wide then narrowed in anger. He mumbled,

"Joxer, take your hand off my mouth or else!"

Joxer swallowed as he stared into his brother's eyes. "I will if you calm down.

I know I'm taking a chance, but I want to be the one to tell her when I'm

ready."

Jett gave Joxer another warning look. Not sure what Jett would do to him, Joxer

removed his hand. Jett stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "Joxer, don't do

that again. First of all, it's gross and your hand's full of germs, and second

of all, I hate it!"

Joxer gazed at Jett and shook his head. "Honestly, you have the worst mood

swings!"

"I don't have mood swings!" Jett protested.

"Yes you do! You're worse than Gabrielle and Xena are when it's their cycle

times!" Joxer's cheeks flushed red.

"Hey! Them's fighting words!" Jett cried as he grabbed Joxer and gave him a

noogie.

Joxer pulled away from Jett. "Knock it off! I hate that! How would you like it

if I did that to you all the time?"

"All right already! Gods, you're such a baby."

All traces of good humor left Joxer's face. "I'm not a baby, Jett," he said

quietly.

Jett stared at Joxer for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're not. You've grown up

quite nicely, Jox." He paused for a moment before he said, "Hey, look. I'm

sorry."

Joxer gazed at Jett suspiciously. "You're sorry?"

Jett nodded. "Yeah." He held his hand out to Joxer. "Uh... friends?"

Joxer thought for a moment and shook his brother's hand. "Yeah. Want to go to

town? Gabrielle wants me to pick up some new scrolls for her."

"Sure, like Xena would let us two go to town together."

"Why not? She has before. She trusts me to watch you." Jett rolled his eyes.

"Hey, she does!" Joxer exclaimed when he saw Jett's reaction.

"Jox, I could take advantage of you if I feel like it."

Joxer smiled at him. "Yeah, you could, but you won't. Now, are you coming or

not?" Joxer placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "And you, my brother,

need to relax. I heard that Meg's in town."

"Meg? Oh, do you mean that tramp that looks like Xena?"

"Jett, she's not a tramp. Meg helped me through a lot of things."

"Really? Then why do you love Gabrielle?"

Joxer thought for a moment before answering him. "It's not the same thing. Meg's

fun but we don't love each other - and it's been a long time since... Besides,

Meg only has eyes for one person anyway."

"Yeah? Who's that?"

"Don't know, but I can tell in her eyes that she loves somebody."

Jett rolled his eyes. "You're such a romantic!" Joxer made a face at him and

Jett laughed. "Okay we'll go, but not to see Meg. I'm really not in the mood for

that kind of company and Jox, tell Xena that we're going. I don't want to go

back to prison."

Joxer nodded. "Okay. I'll be right back."

Joxer went looking for Xena and eventually found her by the lake fishing. "Xena,

can I talk to you?" Xena was so busy fishing that she hardly paid attention to

Joxer but she nodded and Joxer thought she was. "I was wondering if Jett and I

could go to town. Gabrielle asked me to pick up some scrolls for her. I know

that we can go into town but I just wanted to make sure and ask you first."

"Boy, he's a big one! We are going to eat so good today!"

"Uh, Xena?"

"What, Joxer? I'm busy fishing here!"

"Can we?"

"Yeah! Sure! Go ahead."

Joxer gave Xena a hug and then ran back to his brother. Xena looked confused for

a moment then shook her head. "I guess Joxer really loves fish." She then went

back to getting that fish. "You're mine, sucker!" she cried as she brought the

fish to shore. "Oh yeah, we're gonna to eat great tonight!" she exclaimed as she

held up her catch. "I caught them, Gabrielle can clean them and Joxer can cook

them!" Xena thought for a moment. "Hmm, wonder what Joxer wanted..."

Xena returned to the campsite and saw that Jett and Joxer were gone. She turned

to Gabrielle, who was busily writing down something on her last scroll. "Hey

Gabrielle, where's Joxer and Jett?"

The bard looked up at Xena's question. She brushed her long hair away from her

forehead as she answered, "They went to town. I asked Joxer to buy me some new

scrolls. I've only got one left."

"Oh. Well, they should've asked me first. After all, I'm in charge of Jett."

The bard stood up and placed her hand on Xena's shoulder. "Why? Can't I give

them permission? And you've let them go to town before," she pointed out.

Xena's eyes widened as she tried to remember what Joxer said to her while she

was fishing. Finally, she nodded. "I know I've let them go before, but I wish

you would've double-checked with me first. This town is known for its trouble

and Joxer and Jett loose together could be asking for even more trouble."

"What kind of trouble?" the bard asked curiously.

"Oh, you know. Lots of fighting... Meg and her girls... The kind of trouble that

used to find Joxer."

Gabrielle's face fell. "Oh, that kind."

Xena nodded. "Yeah, that kind."

"So, are we going after them?"

Xena thought for a moment. "Not right now. Let's just wait and see what

happens."

Gabrielle nodded slowly, hoping everything would be all right and the brothers

would come back soon with her scrolls.

Jett turned around when he heard Joxer coming, leading their horses. He saw that

his brother had a huge goofy grin on his face. "Xena said yes - we could go."

Jett looked at Joxer. "She actually said we could go?"

"Yeah, she did."

"Okay!" Jett replied, giggling at the same time. He then mounted Thunder. "Then

let's go. Oh, can that uh, horse of yours keep up?"

Joxer mounted Speckle and Jett was amazed yet again at how quietly Speckle stood

while his master clumsily mounted him. Once seated on the gelding, Joxer took

the reins. "Don't you mean can Thunder keep up with Speckle?" He made a clicking

noise and Speckle started off in a slow walk.

Jett rolled his eyes and made Thunder move forward. Thunder danced around,

wanting to do more than walk. He whinnied at Speckle, who flipped his right ear

back and began to move a little faster. Suddenly, Thunder nipped Speckle on his

left flank. Speckle made a strange noise, reared up slightly and took off in a

gallop, Joxer holding on for dear life.

"DAMN IT! JOXER, I'M COMING!" Jett knew Joxer was in trouble and he made Thunder

go into a gallop to catch the runaway gelding. Jett was able to catch up with

Joxer after a few minutes. It took a few tries, but eventually Jett was able to

grab Speckle's reins and pull him to a stop. He looked at Joxer, who was slumped

over the gelding's neck. "Jox! Are you all right?"

Joxer slowly raised his head and gazed at his brother, his eyes a little

unfocused for a moment and then a big, goofy grin surfaced. "I told you Speckle

could outrun Thunder."

Jett laughed and grabbed Joxer's head, giving him a noogie. Joxer squawked in

protest and pushed Jett away from him. "He didn't outrun him. We caught up. But

I will say this for him - he sure can run when he wants to. Come on, let's walk

the rest of the way."

Joxer nodded as he dismounted and took Speckle's reins and walked alongside his

brother. "I hope I don't goof this up."

"Goof what up?"

"You know... Getting Gabrielle her scrolls." Joxer's eyes flashed and his face

lit up. "Hey, I know! I'll get her some ink too."

Jett turned to him. "Did she ask you to get her some ink?"

"Well, not really. It'll be a surprise."

"Jox, trust me on this. Don't do it."

Joxer looked at his brother. "Why not? Gabrielle will love it."

"Because she may use a special kind of ink."

"Jett, I know what kind she uses - and I've gotten it for her before whenever

she's asked me to."

"Jox, just get her the scrolls like she asked. Whenever you do something on your

own - " Jett paused, "- it just gets you into trouble."

Joxer faced forward and remained quiet as he walked faster, away from his

brother. Gee, thanks so much for your faith in me, Jett! Gods, I'm SO sick of

being treated like a child by everybody! he thought to himself resentfully.

Jett sighed and followed Joxer, realizing that he had managed to stick his foot

in his mouth but said nothing. They eventually arrived at the town's gates and

Joxer looked around, surprised that there were no guards posted at the entrance.

He turned around and gazed at his brother. "I wonder where the guards are?"

Jett shook his head, mystified. "Don't know. Come on, let's get those scrolls

and then get something to drink. I don't know about you, but I'm thirsty after

all this walking."

"Jett, I can get those scrolls by myself. Why don't you go ahead and get a drink

and I'll meet you at the tavern?" Joxer suggested.

Jett nodded in agreement. "Okay. I'll meet you at the tavern. And Jox?"

"Yeah?"

"Just get the scrolls."

Joxer rolled his eyes but nodded and the two brothers separated. As Jett was

about to enter the tavern, a big, bulky body went sailing past him. The man

landed with a loud thump but got right back up. He hurried back inside,

attacking the men who threw him out and this time they went came out the door.

Jett stepped aside as he looked around. The place was in a shambles. Men and

women were both fighting each other. Only one man was not fighting. He was

standing on the bar trying to say something through all the fury. "People!

People! Please! Can't we come to an agreement? There's no need for all this

fighting. I promise everyone will get a share!"

Jett stared at the short, portly, bearded and balding man standing on top of the

bar. He knew the man but only from what he heard. He had never had the

"pleasure" of meeting this particular con man - Salmoneus. He thought to himself

that someone had once tried to pay him for killing Salmoneus, but he had

refused, giving the man the excuse that the little weasel wasn't worth his time.

He watched as one of the men headed towards Salmoneus. "You're a dead man,

Salmoneus! I want my money back! I don't want a share! Now give me my money or

else!"

"Yeah, give us back our money!" several people yelled in agreement.

Salmoneus looked around, wishing that he had never stopped in this town. These

people were dangerous - and danger was something he tried to avoid at all costs.

Maybe I should've retired after that stint in jail for tax evasion after all...

"People, please! I promise this will work! Trust me!" he said with a huge, fake

smile.

"Give us back our money, you quack, or we're going to string you up!" someone

yelled at the rear of the tavern. Jett ducked as a chair went flying over his

head.

Salmoneus began to look pale. "Gentlemen, please be reasonable!" he squeaked,

holding his hands up before him.

The man who was speaking cried out, "Let's get him!"

Salmoneus tried to get away as the angry crowd approached him, but slipped on

some ale that had been spilled on the bar and he fell onto the bar with a loud

thud. Just as they were about to grab him, a dagger went sailing by and hit the

wall behind the bar. The men turned around and looked at Jett, who was smiling

at them smugly. "I guess you all know who I am, huh?" he growled.

One of the men stared at him and gulped loudly. "You look like the King of

Assassins, but he's in prison!"

Jett's smile widened. Good. They didn't know about my parole. This will be a big

help. He walked over to the man and grabbed him by his dirty tunic. "Do you

really think a prison will hold me?" he hissed in his best low and raspy voice.

The man gulped, his eyes wide with fright. "No."

Jett let the man go and the man ran from the tavern. Salmoneus watched in

amazement. Everybody in the tavern was afraid of this man and all the men aside

from himself were twice his size, yet they were absolutely terrified of him. One

man bravely stood forward and said, "This man cheated us out of our money."

Jett stared at the man coolly. "And hanging him will get it back?" The men now

just looked at each other, puzzled. Jett smiled coyly at them as he walked over

to where the dagger was sticking from the wall and pulled it out. "Look, I've

got a job to do. You're not the only ones this man's cheated, but I'm being paid

for this, not you."

"You mean you're here to kill him?" asked one of the men.

"That's what I get paid for," replied Jett, his eyes gleaming as he ran his

finger along the backside of the dagger.

"Can we watch?" the same man asked.

"No. I don't like people to watch me."

"What about our money?"

Jett looked at Salmoneus and leered menacingly at him. "Give these people back

their money or I'll make an exception and kill you right in front of them."

Salmoneus looked at the man and nodded, giving everybody their money. Maybe

later I can find a way to get myself out of this mess, he thought to himself.

When all the money was returned, Jett grabbed Salmoneus by the front of his

shirt and pulled him off the bar. "Hey, watch it! I bruise easy," he squealed.

Jett said nothing. He placed the dagger against Salmoneus' back and shoved him

out the door. Once outside, he growled into Salmoneus' ear, "Do you know where

the marketplace is? If you do, go there and look for my brother. You can't miss

him. He looks exactly like me."

Salmoneus didn't wait for the man to change his mind. He was off and running to

find the man's brother. The conman ran as best as he could, but he was too out

of shape and soon became winded. He stopped and leaned against a tree, panting.

"Hey, are you okay?" a voice asked and Salmoneus felt a gentle hand placed on

his right shoulder.

Salmoneus looked up into the same dark eyes and face of the assassin he met

earlier only this time, the dark eyes and face had a gentle look to them.

"Excuse me, but are you the brother of The King of Assassins?" Salmoneus

squeaked nervously.

Joxer shook his head. "Not any more."

Salmoneus' light blue eyes widened in shock. "You're not?"

"Nope."

"Good! I mean that's - wonderful! Would it be okay if I join you?"

Joxer stared at the man then nodded. "Sure. I've just got to go buy some ink to

go with these scrolls and I'll be ready."

Salmoneus smiled. "Ink? Did you say ink? My good man, I sell ink!" He rubbed his

hands together in anticipation of making some quick cash.

Joxer's face brightened up. "You do?"

"Yes! The finest in all of Greece Ð and at prices you'll love."

"Wow! Can I see it?"

Salmoneus was just about to reach into his pocket when he was interrupted by a

voice. "Hey Jox!" Salmoneus' mouth dropped open as the King of Assassins

approached them. "I see you managed to find my brother after all," Jett said

with a smirk on his face.

Salmoneus turned to Joxer. "Your brother? I thought you said that the King of

Assassins wasn't your brother?"

"I did and Jett's no longer the King of Assassins."

"But he said he was! He said he was hired to kill me!" Salmoneus pointed a

stubby finger in Jett's direction. Joxer looked at his brother with a hurt and

confused look.

Jett rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in exasperation. "Oh, for crying out

loud! Jox, don't look at me that way. I had to do something to get that crowd

off this idiot! They were about to hang him."

"So, what did you do?" Joxer asked with a worried look on his face.

Salmoneus interrupted before Jett could reply. "He threw a dagger at them."

Joxer's mouth dropped open in shock. "A dagger! Jett, you're not supposed to

have a weapon! How and when did you get a dagger?"

"Chill, Jox! I borrowed it from you."

Joxer's eyes narrowed in anger. "More like you took it from me when I wasn't

looking! What is the matter with you?" Joxer held out his hand firmly. "Give it

back, Jett!"

Jett took out the dagger and stared at it for a few minutes. "You know, it'd all

be so easy to just take care of you two and then I'd be free," he said in a

faraway voice as he continued staring at the blade gleaming in the sunlight.

Joxer stared at his brother with wide, worried eyes. Jett turned the dagger

around so that the handle faced Joxer and held the weapon out to his brother

with a faint smile on his lips. "But I've come too far to go back to that life,"

he continued as he gave the dagger to Joxer.

Joxer smiled and sighed at the same time. "Thanks Jett," he said as he put the

dagger away.

Jett nodded and circled Salmoneus. "Now, why don't you show us what you tried to

get those people to buy, you nitwit?"

Salmoneus held his hand up. "Not buy, invest in."

"Invest?"

"He means buy into, Jox."

The three began walking to where Speckle and Thunder were waiting. Salmoneus

nodded ferociously in agreement. "Yeah! Buy into! They would have made a lot of

dinars too." Salmoneus motioned his arm across the sky. "Imagine if you could

fly up to Mount Olympus without wings or even by magic. What would you think?"

Joxer and Jett looked at each other before Joxer turned back to gaze at

Salmoneus with a raised eyebrow. "I'd think you had too much ale, my friend!"

Joxer laughed. Jett nodded in agreement.

"No, no, no! I'm serious, and I've got just the thing," Salmoneus said eagerly.

"So, where is this thing of yours that can supposedly fly without wings?" asked

Jett.

"I've got it hidden." The brothers exchanged glances. "Hey, I don't want anyone

to take my idea! Come on, I'll take you there!" Salmoneus exclaimed.

Jett sighed and waved his hand in dismissal as they came to a stop in front of

the two animals. "Fine! You can ride with Joxer."

Salmoneus looked at Speckle and the gelding looked back at him and whinnied a

friendly greeting, swishing his tail and pointing his ears forward. Salmoneus

jumped back at the strange noise the gelding made. "I'll walk, if that's okay

with you," he said nervously.

"Suit yourself. Now, how far is it?" Joxer asked as he mounted Speckle.

"It's not far. This way," Salmoneus pointed forward and Jett made Thunder go

into an easy trot.

Joxer rode up to Jett as they watched the conman walk away. "Do think we should

do this?"

"Sure. Why not? It may be interesting."

"What about Gabrielle and Xena?"

"Jox, if it really works, then we'll tell them and Xena can use it to go up to

Mount Olympus and kick a certain God's butt."

"Oh okay... Hey! Jett, that's not what I meant and you know it!"

Jett chuckled a little and rode up to Salmoneus. "Hey, how much further? My

horse hates walking."

"It's just around the bend in that valley," the conman replied.

When they finally came to the valley, both brothers stared at the contraption

with their mouths open and huge eyes. Joxer managed to find his voice first.

"What is it?" he asked in a whisper.

Salmoneus smiled widely at the two brothers and waved his arms around in

excitement. "This, my friends, is the thing that can fly without wings! I call

it: The Salmoneus Bird!"

They stared at it for quite some time. "Uh, what is that thing?" asked Jett.

"This baby will take us to the air," replied Salmoneus. "Just as soon as I fire

her up. I've just got to get this fire started. The fire will expand the balloon

and then she'll go up."

"Right," Jett said skeptically. Joxer glared at Jett and he fell silent.

The brothers watched in silence as Salmoneus prepared The Salmoneus Bird. The

process was slow but eventually the strange thing was ready. Joxer started to

approach it when Jett grabbed him by the arm. "What are you doing?"

Joxer turned to face him. "I want to see what it would be like to sit in it."

"Are you nuts?"

Joxer shook himself away from Jett's grasp. "No, and I'm tired of you saying

that! I'm getting in and I'd like you get inside too."

"No way, Jox! Forget it."

Joxer gazed at his brother sternly. "Jett, either you get in or I'll tell Xena

you took my dagger and threatened to kill someone with it."

Jett looked stung. "I didn't threaten to kill anyone!"

Salmoneus cleared his throat. "Uh, that's not true. You did threaten me."

Jett turned around and gave Salmoneus a look. "You stay out of this! If it

wasn't for me, you'd be dead, you doofus-brain!" Jett turned back around.

"Joxer, you wouldn't dare."

Joxer stared at Jett calmly. "Try me, Jett." Jett blinked in surprise at Joxer's

tone of voice. "Come on, we're just going to sit in it, nothing more. Right,

Salmoneus?"

"Yeah, right! Nothing more! There's nothing to be scared of, my good man!"

"I'm not scared of anything!" Jett replied indignantly as he climbed into the

basket and sat down, making himself comfortable. "Say, this isn't so bad after

all."

"See? Told you," Joxer said with a smile as he joined Jett inside the basket.

Salmoneus slowly backed towards one of the ropes and talked as he untied it,

"See? There's nothing to it. Just relax. Why don't you take a little nap? It's

really nice to sleep in," he suggested.

Joxer yawned. "I am kind of tired now that you mention it. Maybe a little nap

might be a good idea."

Jett looked around warily. "I don't know, Jox."

"I will keep an eye on things," said Salmoneus in a soothing voice.

Jett looked at Joxer, who was already asleep. "Okay, but if there's any sign of

trouble, wake me up."

Salmoneus nodded furiously. "Okay, I will! Don't worry about a thing!"

Jett soon found himself drifting off to sleep, Salmoneus chattering happily all

the while. Salmoneus watched the two brothers carefully and as soon as he was

sure they were both sound asleep, he untied the other ropes. The balloon slowly

rose into the air. Salmoneus smiled as the balloon drifted slowly out of sight.

He stared at Thunder and Speckle then decided against taking either one of them

and simply walked away, whistling to himself. Speckle, sensing that something

was wrong and not smelling his gentle master anywhere nearby pulled and bit at

his reins until they were undone and trotted away to find help. Thunder whinnied

and pulled on his reins until he got loose and followed Speckle.

Joxer woke up to the sound of someone being sick. He sat up to see Jett leaning

over the side of the balloon. "I'm going to kill him! I don't care if I go back

to prison. That man is dead meat!" the oldest triplet moaned.

Joxer slowly got up and saw that they were high up in the air and slowly

floating over the green countryside. He carefully made his way to his brother.

"Jett, are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! Jox... I'm sick... Oh, Gods! I just want to die," Jett moaned

miserably. He got sick again over the side. He then sank down to his knees, his

face deathly pale. "Jox, we've got to get down. I can't stand this. Please find

a way down. Please!" he whispered, his dark eyes huge and glassy as he stared up

at Joxer.

Joxer returned the stare, shocked. He had never seen Jett this way before. He

was not only sick, but he was scared.

Gabrielle was gathering wood for the night's campfire when she heard Speckle's

strange voice. She looked up to see both Speckle and Thunder returning without

their masters. She dropped the wood, took the horses' reins and led them back to

the campsite. "Xena! Xena!" she called out, dropping their reins as she ran up

to Argo. Xena looked up to see that Gabrielle's eyes were huge and that she had

a very worried look on her face. "Thunder and Speckle came back alone. Something

bad must've happened in town!" she gasped.

Xena didn't answer her. She had turned away and was looking in the sky at a very

strange thing. Gabrielle looked up too and pointed at the object. "Xena, what is

that thing?"

"I have no idea, Gabrielle, but if Joxer and Jett are missing, you can bet

they're right in the middle of that," Xena replied.

Gabrielle looked back at Xena. "Do you think they're up in that?"

Xena nodded as she leapt up on Argo. "Come on. We've got to catch that...

whatever it is."

Gabrielle quickly mounted Amber and the two friends went after the strange

object floating in the sky.

Joxer woke up to the sound of someone being sick. He sat up to see Jett leaning

over the side of the balloon. "I'm going to kill him! I don't care if I go back

to prison. That man is dead meat!" the oldest triplet moaned.

Joxer slowly got up and saw that they were high up in the air and slowly

floating over the green countryside. He carefully made his way to his brother.

"Jett, are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! Jox... I'm sick... Oh, Gods! I just want to die," Jett moaned

miserably. He got sick again over the side. He then sank down to his knees, his

face deathly pale. "Jox, we've got to get down. I can't stand this. Please find

a way down. Please!" he whispered, his dark eyes huge and glassy as he stared up

at Joxer.

Joxer returned the stare, shocked. He had never seen Jett this way before. He

was not only sick, but he was scared.

Gabrielle was gathering wood for the night's campfire when she heard Speckle's

strange voice. She looked up to see both Speckle and Thunder returning without

their masters. She dropped the wood, took the horses' reins and led them back to

the campsite. "Xena! Xena!" she called out, dropping their reins as she ran up

to Argo. Xena looked up to see that Gabrielle's eyes were huge and that she had

a very worried look on her face. "Thunder and Speckle came back alone. Something

bad must've happened in town!" she gasped.

Xena didn't answer her. She had turned away and was looking in the sky at a very

strange thing. Gabrielle looked up too and pointed at the object. "Xena, what is

that thing?"

"I have no idea, Gabrielle, but if Joxer and Jett are missing, you can bet

they're right in the middle of that," Xena replied.

Gabrielle looked back at Xena. "Do you think they're up in that?"

Xena nodded as she leapt up on Argo. "Come on. We've got to catch that...

whatever it is."

Gabrielle quickly mounted Amber and the two friends went after the strange

object floating in the sky.

Joxer knelt down next to his brother. "Jett, it's going to be okay. I'll find a

way down."

Jett stared up at Joxer. "How? We have no idea what this thing is or what it

does!" He moaned as his stomach flip-flopped.

Joxer slowly stood up and made his way to the center of the large basket. "They

say what goes up must come down. There's got to be a way to make this thing go

down." Joxer studied the balloon and the container that held the fire. "Hmm,

maybe if I pull this rope here..." Joxer reached out for the rope.

"No! You're going to get us killed!"

Joxer turned to his brother, who had managed to rise to his feet again. "I think

that this keeps all the air inside. If I just open it up a little, I think that

this thing will go down."

Jett shook his head and looked as if he wished he hadn't. "You could be wrong,

Jox. Please don't try it."

"Jett, I've got to try. I don't see any other way. You're going to have to trust

me on this. Look at you! You're so scared that you can hardly move. If you ever

decide in your life to trust me to do the right thing, now's the time," Joxer

said earnestly.

Jett said nothing as he felt himself getting sick again and slowly sat back down

in the basket. "Okay, Jox. I will," he said finally.

Salmoneus whistled merrily to himself as he walked down the road. He was very

pleased with himself. "Salmoneus, old boy, you've managed to rid the world of

The Twin Assassins! Ha!" he exclaimed with a chuckle. The conman looked up when

he heard horses coming and quickly hid behind some bushes as the riders

approached. Salmoneus saw with relief that it was Xena and Gabrielle. He came

out from hiding behind the bushes and ran towards them. "Xena! Gabrielle! Am I

glad to see you!" he gasped.

Xena reared Argo to a stop. "Get out of the way, you fool! We've got to catch

that thing in the sky before someone gets hurt!"

Salmoneus puffed himself up proudly. "Ah, don't be worried about that thing.

I've taken care of everything! The Twin Assassins will never bother anyone

again."

"WHAT!" Gabrielle got down from Amber and raced over to Salmoneus. She grabbed

him by the front of his robe. "What did you do? Tell me now, or I'll break you

in half!"

Salmoneus' eyes got as big as saucers. " I tricked them to get into the

Salmoneus Bird so they'll never kill another person."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes in exasperation and shook the conman roughly. "You

moron! Joxer's no killer!"

"Whatever happened to the sweet, young girl I knew?" Salmoneus gulped.

"I've changed," Gabrielle snarled angrily.

"I can see that!" Salmoneus squeaked and looked at Xena with wide eyes. "Xena,

please make her let me go! I'm rather sensitive to pain, as you know." He tried

smiling weakly at the two women, who both exchanged glances before turning back

to the now-sweating conman.

"Tell us what we want to know," came Xena's cold reply.

Salmoneus swallowed again. This was not what he expected to happen. "The one

named Jett had a dagger and he was going to kill me, but he changed his mind. I

think it was because his brother Joxer, the brains of the outfit, said no."

Xena shook her head and sighed. "Never mind that! How do we get them down?"

Salmoneus shook his head. "I don't know, honest! I never actually got into the

thing."

Xena looked up and saw that the object was heading towards the mountains. "Come

on, Gabrielle. Maybe we can beat it to the top of that mountain where I can get

a good shot at it with my chakram."

Gabrielle grabbed Xena's arm. "Xena, you can't throw your chakram at that...

that... thing! You'll kill them!" she gasped.

Xena turned to her friend. "I'm sorry Gabrielle, but I don't see any other way.

See where it's headed? If we don't get it down soon, that thing's going to crash

right into the mountainside!"

The bard nodded as they remounted their horses and rode at top speed leaving

Salmoneus behind towards the mountain. Luck was on their side as they reach the

mountain first or maybe one of the Gods was giving them a little help. Xena

leapt off Argo and got her chakram ready. "I've got to make this good. I don't

know if I'll get another chance or not," she muttered. Xena carefully aimed her

chakram towards the thing getting ready to throw it when Gabrielle grabbed her

arm. "Xena, look! I think it's coming down."

Xena looked and sure enough the thing was coming down. She slowly lowered her

chakram and put it away.

"Gabrielle! Xena! Grab the ropes and tie them to something!" Joxer called out

hoarsely.

Both women raced for the ropes as the thing came closer and closer to them. It

took a lot of time, but eventually they had the thing on the ground tied and

secure. Gabrielle ran over to it and gave Joxer a big hug and kiss on as he

tumbled from the basket and landed in a heap next to it. "Wow! I should do that

more often!" Joxer said with a big, goofy grin.

"If you ever want to do this again, you do it without me. Oh Gods, I just want

to die!" Jett moaned.

Xena helped Jett out of the basket. "What's the matter? Don't like to fly?" she

teased.

Jett gazed at Xena wearily. "If man was meant to fly, the Gods would have given

him wings. Xena, could you let me die in peace?"

Xena placed her arm around him. "Come on, I'll give you something to make you

feel better."

"Thanks." Jett turned towards his brother. "Jox, thanks for getting us down."

Joxer smiled at his brother as Gabrielle squeezed him and gave him another kiss.

That night everyone was sitting around the campfire except for Jett who was

sleeping peacefully thanks to the herbs Xena gave him. Gabrielle put her quill

down to allow her new scroll to dry and looked at Joxer. "You know, Joxer, I'm

very proud of you."

Joxer looked up in surprise. "Yeah. Why?"

"You didn't panic in a strange situation. You somehow found a way to get you and

Jett down."

Joxer smiled a little. "Thanks Gabrielle, but I really had no choice. Jett was

no help at all. You know, it's kind of strange seeing that side of him."

Xena looked up. "How did he get a dagger?" she asked sharply.

Joxer swallowed hard. "He took it from me. I'm sorry, Xena."

Xena reached out her hand. "Give me the dagger, Joxer."

Joxer looked at her. "Xena, please. It won't happen again."

"How do you know it won't?"

"Because Jett promised me and he's never broken a promise to me."

Xena sighed. "All right, Joxer, but the next time he takes anyone's weapon,

he'll be sent back to prison."

Joxer nodded, looking over at his brother and sighing. "So, what are you going

to do this time?"

Xena also looked over at Jett. "Nothing. I think he was already punished."

Gabrielle nodded in agreement. "I wonder what happened to Salmoneus?"

"You know, I really don't care. All I know is that he better not cross our paths

again because I don't even think I could stop Jett from killing him," Joxer

replied.

Gabrielle leaned closer to Joxer. "You know what, Joxer?"

"Know what, Gabrielle?"

"Salmoneus thought that you and Jett were known as The Twin Assassins and you

were the brains of the outfit."

Joxer frowned, puzzled. "Now why on Earth would he think that?"

Gabrielle leaned closer to him, her head now nesting on his shoulder. "I have no

idea."

The strange man stood in the middle of the village. "Come everyone! Gather

around and I will tell you how I single handedly stopped The Twin Assassins from

causing havoc!"

The End