Author's note: okay, so I think this book will be really bad. I just took a bunch of ideas that ran through my head and I threw them together. So if it's bad, just tell me. I wont hate you, promise.

(oh, and in my book KC and Clare are siblings)(Also, a lot of OOC)

This takes place in the hospital after "All Falls Down"

Eli's POV

I couldn't believe I had done this. I couldn't believe Fitz had done this. Hurt me if you want, but Clare? Sweet innocent Saint Clare?

When Fitz came at us with the knife, I was already expecting to die. Prepared for it. I pushed Clare gently away from me…and right into the arms of Owen Milligan.

She cried out in pain and then I saw the blood spill from her. Own laughed and let her drop to the floor.

All Fitz had to say before he left was "That'll teach you, emo boy,"

Clare was going through surgery right now. Adam and I sat in the waiting room, going insane. I lost Julia, I couldn't loose Clare now.

This was all my fault. If I'd just let Fitz win, let him have his moment of glory in the parking lot and dropped it. But no. I had to keep going, keep edging him on and now Clare was hurt.

I had to admit, Fitz wasn't as dumb as I thought he was. He thought if he hurt Clare, it would hurt me more than actually stabbing me would. And he was right.

The wait was agonizing. Every doctor that came out, I was expecting the final words. The words that would make me alone again. And it was because of me. Again.

A short blonde nurse came out and asked to speak to Clare's parents. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards went over and I strained to listen.

"Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, I'm sorry about what happened to your daughter, but she is okay. The knife just missed the aorta and we were able to save her. She is in a pretty bad condition. Do you know the boys that did this?"

I saw Mrs. Edwards glare over at me. "Not exactly,"

Clare was okay, but still in pain and near death because of me. Adam stood up. "Come, let's go see her,"

"I cant, Adam, not just yet,"

"Why not?" he whined. Clare's parents had already began walking to her room.

"I need some time. I cant see her like that yet. I need to wait until she's better,"

"Okay," Adam put his hand on my shoulder and sat back down.

I knew exactly how I could fix this. Exactly what I needed to do and that's what I was gonna do. I wouldn't hurt Clare anymore.

I would leave.

Clare was out of the hospital now. It was still hard for her to walk, but she can managed. I only visited her twice in the hospital. It was too hard to me to see her with wires, and bandages knowing I had caused it all.

It was a bright Friday morning and it was when I decided to leave Clare Edwards forever. Just to keep her safe from me. I had told Darcy and KC about it and then drove her to the park, we I would say goodbye and they would take her home.

Clare got out of the car and ran to me, limping. I winced, trying to forget about what I was going to do.

She went to kiss me, but I turned away.

"What's wrong?"

"Clare, I'm leaving. I'm going to live with my uncle in Ohio," I said, not looking her in eyes.

"Well, why do you have to go?"

"Because I wont hurt you anymore," I whispered.

"Eli, really? This is about Fitz and Owen again? Stop it, you're not going anywhere," she took my hand roughly.

I yanked it away. "Yes, I am, Clare. I'm leaving and I'm not coming back,"

"No!" she protested and flung her arms around my neck. She began sobbing into my neck. "Eli, please don't go! We can get over this! Please!"

My heart was breaking with every syllable she said. "I'm leaving,"

"No, no, please, please, stay! Stay here…with me. We can be happy,"

"I cant be happy putting you in pain,"

"I'm not in pain, Eli! Please, don't do this,"

KC had come up. He put him arm around her waist and began to tug her away. She clung to me, though, wiggling out of KC's arms. "No! NO! You cant leave me, Eli! Please, stay!"

I tried to unhook her hands off my shoulders, but she wouldn't let go. Her hands gripped my arms right. KC and I managed to walk with her to the car. Darcy was in the drivers seat, car running.

"Eli, stop! You're not leaving me, you cant! Please!"

I placed my hands on her shoulders and pushed her down into the seat. She held onto my wrist with more strength I thought she was capable of.

I almost took it all back. I almost took her in my arms and told her I was staying and that everything would be okay. But I needed to let go of Clare. Needed to let her go, so she would be happy.

"Clare, stop it,"

"Eli, I love you, please stay!"

I looked deep into her blues eyes and saw she wouldn't let me go. I was going to have to break her away from me. "Clare," I whispered. My heart pounded painfully in my chest and I could feel my face getting hot. "I don't love you anymore,"

"What?" she whispered. "Eli, no, you're just saying that so I will let you go,"

She knew me so well. I almost laughed because she caught me in the lie. But I needed her to believe me. I said the first words that came to mind that I know would hurt her. "You're not Julia,"

Clare's hand freed from my wrist and I pulled back fast, shutting the door. KC held her tight in his arms as she placed her forehead on the window.

As Darcy pulled away, I heard one ear-piercing shriek of pure agony coming from the car.

Goodbye, Clare. I thought silently.

Ten years later.

I was back in Toronto for my mother's funeral. It was a dark, cold, rainy October night and I had to stop at the grocery store and bring some things to my dad. According to the neighbors, he was low on food, light bulbs, batteries and wouldn't leave the house to get them.

As I waited in line I noticed the girl in front of me. She was short and had long auburn hair. She was skinny, too skinny. She looked almost unhealthy. Her hair was drenched from the rain and she always kept her head down.

The person if front of her was almost done, so she turned to her cart and began pulling things out. She was wearing a gray long-sleeved shirt that was pushed up to her elbows and I couldn't help but stare at the bright red scars that plastered her arms from wrist to elbow. It was sad, I thought, that someone would do that to themselves.

She paid the cashier with shaky hands and turned, slamming into me. On instincts I caught her by the arms and balanced her.

"Sorry," she whispered, looking down.

"It's okay," I laughed.

The girl looked up at me and gasped.

I stared deep into her eyes, looking at what ten years of pain has done to Clare.

Author's note: yeah, I know it sucks, but it just came to me in like weird flash and I decided to write it. don't be too mean, please, but tell me what ya think. I'll post the next chapter soon.