Authors Notes: This is my first Naruto fic, so please be gentle. I tried to keep them in character as possible, but I'm sure I probably failed. Heheh. I would love to thank the awesomely talented Lemons Chan for letting me rant to her about this fic and for giving me a few ideas to put in. Thank you! Oh and in case you were wondering. This is SasuNaru, mild shounen-ai. Not sure if I should do a sequel (which would no doubt contain yaoi.) Let me know if you think I should. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy.
Hey Jealousy
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place ... hey jealousy
And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down
Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
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Thunder rumbled in the distance as lightening coursed through the gloomy gray clouds. The strike of light lit up the grassy training area like some kind of warning. The figure on the ground paid no mind as he continued to train vigorously, punching and kicking the wooden stumps that stuck out of the muddy ground. It had begun to rain a few hours after he had gotten there. He couldn't remember what the time was when he arrived, somewhere before noon he supposed. But now it was some time after that, a few more hours and the sun would be completely set. He didn't care though, he'd train until he was completely exhausted. Which wouldn't be for quite awhile with the way he was feeling. And that was quite alot of things at the moment. Anger, hurt, confusion and everything else a teenage boy would end up feeling. Except they all came to him at once, in a nice little package with a sticker on it that said 'Sasuke'.
'That bastard',' he thought as he kicked the grounded stump again, 'Thinking he knows it all, thinking he's so damned special because everyone loves him so damn much.'
Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke. The bane of his existence. Naruto hated the boy, well not hate as in wish-he'd-never-been-born, but enough to where they constantly fought. It was like a routine by now, they threw insults at each other and fought until their sensei pulled them apart before they seriously hurt themselves. But when it came down to it, when the time was in need of it, they would come together and work as a team. They were stronger together than they were apart, not that either of them knew it. Even if they did, the chance of either one admitting it was slim. Both were quite headstrong and equally stubborn, which also contributed to their so-called rivalry.
But the one thing Naruto couldn't deny, even if he tried, was that despite the harsh words and the cold shoulder, he did care for Sasuke. He wasn't sure in what way and he supposed it didn't even matter, but the fact remained, was that he did like him. He knew without a doubt that he would protect the Uchiha boy with his own life if he needed to. He was just as important as everyone else in the village, if not more so.
'I can't believe him' Kick, punch, 'Acting like he's better than everyone else.' Punch, punch, kick 'I'm tired of this.'
"Kage Bushin no Jutsu!" He shouted and ten more clones of himself appeared. Without a word or hesitation he ran at them, kicking, punching and fighting his way through them. If anyone else had been there, it would of just been a flurry of orange and yellow. Pop after pop was heard as he nailed them in midair, one by one.
It wasn't before long that the last clone disappeared and left him alone in the clearing. The rain had long ago soaked through his clothing. He had shed his orange jacket sometime during the fight, as the weight of the rain-soaked garment made it harder to move around. Finally his legs gave out and he tumbled to the ground in a big wet heap.
If anyone had seen him they would have thought he'd just fought in a war. His whole body sported bruises and bloodied cuts and gashes, some still bled freely. It didn't seem to bother him though. Shivering lightly from the cold wind and rain, he wrapped his arms around himself and waited for some of his strength to return before he got back up again.
Off in the distance he heard the padding of feet. Slow and steady, like a heartbeat, soothing and calm. They came closer and did not yield. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew who it was before they even came within ten feet of him. His eyes glanced up from the ground, looking at the feet that stood before him, yet not lifting his head enough to look at the face that belonged to them. He felt he really didn't need to.
"Idiot" Yep, he definitely knew who it was, "What the hell are you doing out here? You're gonna get yourself sick. I thought you were smarter than that."
Sasuke shook his head and reached out, intending on grabbing Naruto's arm and dragging him up to his feet. But before he could lay a finger on him his hand was smacked away. Sure, he was expecting a reaction like that, but not the force in which he'd been hit. It stung a little.
"I don't need your goddamned help." He spat. Slowly, he made his way to his feet, his balance wavering a bit before standing up straight, as if nothing had been wrong.
"What the hell is your problem?" Sasuke asked, arms crossed over his chest.
"You are."
"What the hell did I ever do to you?" He asked, slightly taken aback by Naruto's tone.
"What did you do? I'll tell you what you did," He started, raising his hand and pointing at the boy, "You act like you own everything, like your fucking superior to everyone else around you. You think your better than everyone because you come from a clan or whatever. Everyone in this fucking town loves you and they'd do anything for you because you're their precious Uchiha. And you don't even give a shit about any of them, you only care about you, you selfish asshole!"
Sasuke blinked a few times, wondering where the hell this was coming from. He opened his mouth to retort, but Naruto wasn't finished yet.
"The way you act and the way you treat me. You treat me just the rest of them do. I thought it'd be different because we're teammates. But I guess I should of learned by now that it doesn't matter what I do, everyone still hates me. They don't love me like they love you. They'd throw me to the wolves if they had the chance. Hell they'd probably even kill me themselves if they thought it would get rid of the damned fox. Do you even see the glares and hateful eyes Sasuke? Do you ever hear the things they say to me when we walk down the street? No, of course you don't. You're too worried about yourself to even care what happens to anyone else. Not that I matter anyways, right? I'm just a monster."
Naruto was crying now, tears streaming down his face even though he was still ranting in anger. Sasuke couldn't only look on in surprise. He was not expecting such a confession from the blonde-haired boy.
"Why are you even here Sasuke? No one bothered to come look for me before, why start now? You should know better than to come after a killer."
"Are you done now?" Sasuke asked, the bored, indifferent look masked the emotions that coursed through him. He had no idea all this was haunting his teammate.
Naruto blinked as he tried to catch his breath, exhausted from the ranting he'd just done. He could only wonder what Sasuke was going to do or say now. He was still angry mind you, just too tired at the moment to say anything in retort.
"If anyone should be jealous Naruto, it should be me." Sasuke said, shoving his hands in his pocket. 'Damn this weather must be getting to me.'
"Wha-?"
"You don't give up or back down. Hell sometimes I don't think you even know how. You're stronger than you think you are. And despite everything that's happened to you, you still run after your dream. You don't care if they think it's stupid, it doesn't stop you from trying. You're hot-headed and stubborn, but you've never quit. Even when you're outnumbered. Even when everyone else told you to stop, you never did. You protect everyone you care about, even the villagers that hurt you. You'd give your life for them if you had to. I don't think I could ever do that. And because you can, it makes me jealous."
"But .. that's not true Sasuke. What about the Mist Village, on the bridge. You ... you risked your life to save me. That counts, doesn't it?"
"I did it because I had to. You do it because you want to. Because you care."
Naruto winced and looked down, pain stabbing in his chest at the words. "I see ... I should have known." He mumbled. A few minutes passed before he looked up. "You can leave now."
Sasuke blinked and cocked his head. He didn't like the lost and ghostly tone Naruto was using.
"I'm sorry you had to waste your precious time on me." And with that he walked back over to the muddy logs and continued his assault, this time fueled with the anger and hurt from Sasuke's words.
Meanwhile, all Sasuke could do was stare at Naruto as he trained. His body was already worn, dirty and bruised. His eyes widened at the small pool of blood that had collected from where he stood before him moments ago. The blood trailed to where Naruto now was, kicking and punching the wooden stump. He could see the blood splatter with each hit, knowing his fists, arms, legs and feet must be raw from the workout, yet he continued without stopping. Without flinching.
There was pain in those shinning blue eyes. But it wasn't from the training he had endured, it was the pain of sadness, hurt and loneliness. It was then, that Sasuke realized he'd seen that look before. He'd seen it every time he looked in the mirror. They were the same, yet he was only realizing it now. He never wanted the legacy the Uchiha name brought him, just as Naruto didn't want the hate and loathing the fox demon brought.
A small cry erupted from the raven-haired boy as he brought his hand to his mouth. Guilt overcame him as he watched the blonde train with a fury. He didn't mean what he said to come out the way it did. He truly was jealous of Naruto, of his bright and sunny disposition, no matter the event. It never faded. Until now. There was nothing in his eyes but the sadness and hurt he had caused.
Tears ran down his pale face as he kept his eyes on Naruto, it was like a trance watching him fight. Sasuke looked down at the ground, at the puddle of blood, which only brought another onslaught of tears. He'd done this, maybe not on purpose, but he made Naruto feel this way. And now, the boy was still training because of what he'd said. The blood was still falling, flying away with each hit and kick of the stump. He had to stop him, he would get hurt if he didn't.
Wiping the tears from his face he walked over to where Naruto was and stood there. The blonde stopped when Sasuke got too near to do any kicks without hurting him. Not that the thought never crossed his mind, but he was too worn to fight another human being, especially one on the same level as him. So instead he stopped and turned to face the Uchiha and waited for him to speak.
Sasuke stood there for a moment when he realized that Naruto had ceased moving and was waiting. "Naruto .. I ... I didn't mean .." He was at a loss for words. He never had to apologize before, but knew if he didn't he'd regret it later. He watched as Naruto opened his mouth to speak, only to have his blue eyes close as he fell forward. Before he could even hit the ground Sasuke had him in his arms, shaking him lightly.
"Naruto! Naruto wake up! Naruto!" Sasuke looked around before gathering the boy in his arms and taking off towards the village hospital. He was bleeding badly, that he knew and no doubt it was what caused his collapse. Tears blurred his vision as he ran and jumped through the trees, careful of the boy in his arms.
It didn't take him long to get there, he wasn't even sure if he was aware of how fast he was going or how everyone stared as he bolted down the streets of Konoha and towards the hospital. The moment he got in he demanded someone get Tsunade or Shizune to take care of him. They kept talking to him but he wasn't listening, his mind was on one thing and one thing only.
Naruto.
It had taken several doctors and nurses to pry the blonde from the raven-haired boy's arms. And several more to hold him back from running after them. Sasuke struggled against the grasp of several other doctors, screaming at them all the while.
"Stop it! Let me go you bastards! Naruto! Dammit, I have to go with him! You have to let me! I can't leave him alone!"
Naruto looked up when he heard the door open. He was surprised to see Shikamaru standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets, giving him quite a lazy look.
"Hey" He said, nodding to the blonde.
"Hey yourself."
"How you feelin'?"
"I've been better."
"Aa." Shikamaru leaned back and looked out into the hallway, then back into the room. 'This is so troublesome.' He thought with a frown. "So you up for any visitors?"
Naruto shook his head.
"Sasuke's here."
"I don't care."
"You know, Uchiha's been here since he brought you in. Which was two days ago, by the way. They said he was hysterical when they took you from him and it took about five doctors to hold him back."
Naruto's eyes widened as he looked over. Shikamaru just nodded. "Yeah, they said he was screaming and crying and everything. No one else knows though, Hokage-hime said not to say anything. Reputation and all." He said with a shrug. "So, wanna see him?"
"Yeah" Naruto said. With a wave goodbye, Shikamaru walked out of the room, passing Sasuke on the way. The door shut behind him with a soft click. Silence quickly followed as neither knew just what to say.
Naruto moved back up against the headboard of the bed, "You can sit down," He said, crossing his legs and making room for the other boy. Sasuke nodded and quietly walked over and hesitantly sat down, far enough away, but yet not too far.
Naruto sighed, "Why're you here Sasuke?" The question sounded more tired than annoyed. Sasuke looked up and then down again.
"I .. I was worried. When you passed out I thought something might had happened. You were bleeding pretty bad. And .. I wanted to say I was sorry. I didn't mean for what I said to sound the way it had." He confessed quietly.
Naruto smiled and nodded, "Yeah, for awhile it sounded like a compliment. Like you cared or something." Sasuke looked up and was about to say something when Naruto continued. "I guess I was foolish to believe something like that could ever happen. I mean, I'm used to it you know? I guess ... I was just caught off guard by what you said. I guess, I was hoping it meant what I hoped it did, but I was foolish for hoping some-"
"Stop it!" Sasuke yelled, effectively cutting him off. Naruto looked up in surprise. "I hate it when you talk about yourself like that! What I said was true! I am jealous of you! And I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again. You do matter Naruto, to alot of people! To me! And I don't want you saying things like that!" He yelled, tears threatening to fall over.
"I do care Naruto, and I was worried about you! I was worried that you'd die from all the blood you lost! And I didn't want you to die because then I'd be all alone again! And I'm tired of being alone! And even though I said I hated you, I always felt connected, because we both know what it means to be alone. And I know you know what that feels like." He was crying now, though his voice was still filled with anger.
"For the first time, ever since that night, I was scared Naruto. I was afraid you would leave me the same way everyone else did." Sasuke said. Reaching out, he grabbed Naruto's shirt and shook the boy lightly as if to get his point across. "I don't ever want to go through that again!"
Naruto sat there for a moment, shocked, before he reached out and wrapped his arms around the crying boy, pulling him into an embrace. Sasuke stiffened at the contact, but soon relaxed, he didn't want to fight and it felt nice to be hugged like this.
"I'm sorry Sasuke. I won't ever say anything like that again. I promise," He said softly, "It's nice to have someone care. I always they pretended to out of pity."
Sasuke shook his head, "I didn't say it because I had to, I said it because I wanted to." Naruto smiled and gently laid his cheek against the top of Sasuke head and closed his eyes, for the first time in along while, feeling at peace.
Comfortable silence drifted between them for what seemed like forever, and they were entirely to content to care. Though it didn't stay like that for very long.
"You're hugging me." Sasuke said, his voice tired and worn.
"I know."
"Glad we got that part cleared up."
Naruto just smiled and hugged him closer. After another few moments, Sasuke gently pulled away, sitting back up and rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. At the same time, both of them looked up and their gazes locked.
"If you tell anyone I said any of that I'll kill you." Though there was only a hint of seriousness in his voice. Naruto just laughed, smiled and nodded.
A small smile graced Sasuke's lips, "I like it better when you smile."
Naruto blinked, "Huh?" He watched, transfixed as Sasuke leaned in and kissed him tenderly on the lips. Naruto leaned in as Sasuke broke away, almost wishing he didn't.
Shocked would best describe Naruto at the moment. "Sasuke ... wha-" his question was cut off as Sasuke kissed him again, this time a little less tender and a little more passionate.
Sasuke gently moved off of the bed as he broke their kiss, smiling down at the blonde boy. "Visiting hours are over Naruto, I have to go. I'll come back tomorrow though." He said as he walked over to the door.
"What!" Naruto whined, "That's so not- wait, you mean you'll really come back?" He asked, disbelievingly.
Sasuke smirked at the boys antics and nodded. "I promise." Then he opened the door, gave the boy a small wave, and walked out, closing it behind him.
Naruto sat there for what seemed like hours, going over everything that happened up until now in his head. With a tired sigh he laid back down, staring at the ceiling. Raising his hand to his mouth, he gently touched his lips where Sasuke had kissed him. A small smile, a real smile, found it's way there.
"I can't wait till tomorrow!"
End