Yes, I know it may not be very relate able to Red Dwarf, but i got the idea from the very start of the book so MEH
Kevin stared at the carrot in amazement. The carrot had saved his life. A carrot. Or from now on known as "The Carrot". Kevin hated carrots, so why did this one insist on saving him. Did it feel like it wanted to have more to its life than just being steamed and eaten in a salad along with the lettuce and capsicum covered in condiments then eaten with gusto? Kevin looked again at the carrot, snapped in half like a twig in a child's hands. "The Carrot", lying on the floor, lifeless like a carrot should be, yet alive in Kevin's mind.
For the carrot, things were much different. It could not speak, it could not move, it could only watch the world go by. It had not intended to save Kevin's life; it detested the small ratty looking man that had used it to jam the elevator doors. This mouse of a man, whiskers on his face, pointed ears, hunched figure and rather over-weight, like a pumpkin had been stuffed into his intestinal track and was unable to be digested, had used the carrot. The carrot was quite annoyed by this, as it had quite a peaceful life, growing up in the soil surrounded by its brethren on an organic farm, yanked from its birth-place and taken to the market where it would be chosen by the few who passed by its stall. But instead of being picked by some remarkable Chinese chef and cut and shaped into a flower or animal, set out on a plate for people to admire and not subjected to being steamed and gobbled up, it was picked up by a grotty hand that had probably never seen soap in its life, fingernails the length of guitar picks and stuffed into a stinky grimy pocket and whisked away. It hadn't even been paid for!
So this is what the carrot thought, laying in pieces on the ground very annoyed that the lower half of its body was severed from the top. But Kevin thought not of carrots having feelings and so kicked it to the side and continued walking up the corridor carrot-less. For without that carrot, Kevin would have been squashed in the doors of the elevator.