NOTES: The first in a series - John/Teyla - Five Last Kisses. These will be angsty.

Hello And Goodbye

The choice weighs heavy on him during the walk from the Athosian encampment to the Stargate, but when they arrive in the Atlantis gateroom, the decision is made.

He collars Ronon to harass the new recruits that evening, and catches the querying look on the Satedan's face - and the dawning understanding that can't seem to decide if it should end in a smile or a frown. John ignores it and heads off to dinner.

And when evening falls, John goes into the gym and waits for her at the window, thinking twice, three times, four times about this, but sticking with his original plan.

The Atriennians insist on alliances through marriage, not trade. Jinto had said. So Teyla would marry one of their princes if this goes ahead.

He's not going to fight it. Her loyalty goes to her people before Atlantis and her team, and John wouldn't take that from her, even if he could. If her people need an alliance through marriage, Teyla will give it to them.

She pauses at the entrance, surprised to see him there. "John."

"I figured I could do with some of that inner calm," he says. "So I sent Ronon to deal with the marines."

Teyla doesn't look like she's inclined to believe it. "You are really going to meditate with me?"

She knows him far too well. "Not really," John admits, rising and crossing over to her. His footsteps don't waver, his legs don't give way, and he knows his voice is steady. "But I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of Ronon."

"A fool?" She asks as he stops in front of her and her eyes widen as he bends his head towards her, but she doesn't move away, although she could. "John..."

It's not graceful. He never did manage to pull off suave and charming. But he doesn't think too badly of his kissing skills.

Given Teyla's response, John figures she doesn't think too badly of them either.

She doesn't ask questions, so he doesn't have to tell her lies. It's hello and goodbye in one - because her people have plans for her future, and they don't include John.

He thought they'd have time - and they did. They let attraction build to friendship, and friendship solidify to care. He trusts her with his life - to guard his six and hold her ground; and he trusts her with his heart - with the emotions he doesn't trust himself not to somehow wreck.

He thought they'd have more time.

They don't.

So John will make time, if Teyla will let him.

She doesn't stop him.

- fin -