"You do realize that it's rude to break into someone's quarters in the middle of the night, right?" Julian asked, sitting up and running his fingers through his hair.
Odo, at least, had the good graces to look slightly embarrassed. Garak, unsurprisingly, looked impossibly smug.
"But you're our Julian!" Garak protested. "Of course we can break into your quarters. Plus it's not that hard to break your lock."
"Plus I do have security override codes for the entire station," Odo muttered.
Pulling the covers up a little higher and holding Kukalaka a little closer to his chest, Julian did his best to look annoyed and not exhausted. "I know that neither of you are human, I'm sure that Cardassians have very different courtship rituals, and I have no clue about changelings, but for humans even lovers don't get to randomly break into someone's quarters. And I am so tired and I need a good night's sleep." It had been a hard few days.
"That's why we're here," Garak said cheerily. "We're here to make sure that you get a good night's sleep."
Julian was too tired to play games. "How does breaking into my quarters and waking me up help me get better sleep?"
"Odo, this was your plan," Garak said, giving a little bow of his head.
"From my observations, humanoids often like to be near their loved ones in times of distress," Odo said. He crossed his arms defensively. "And you are in distress."
"I'm not. I'm just tired," Julian instinctively said. Although it was a sweet sentiment from Odo, Julian thought their relationship was too young for something like this.
"Kukalaka isn't on his shelf. You're sleeping with him," Garak stated.
"So?" Julian said, curling in on himself a little bit and pulling his stuffed bear a little closer again.
"You always keep him on the shelf. Since you've decided to take him off of the shelf, you're seeking comfort. We can provide that comfort, you know," Garak said. "And we'd be better at it than a raggedy child's toy, too."
"Don't make fun of Kukalaka!" Julian protested, immediately regretting how damn childish he sounded.
"Julian…" Odo said softly, approaching his bed. "Anyone who knows you knows you're in distress. You care deeply about your patients. It's not a secret."
"I…" Julian swallowed hard and tried to figure out what he wanted to say, "It just shouldn't have happened."
Garak and Odo both approached his bed. Garak sat on the edge of his bed, while Odo kind of hovered behind him. "You can't control everything, my dear," Garak said.
"It was just such a simple thing. If I had just been faster, if I could have taken the time to scan for that anomaly in their hearts. It's not as if it's so insanely rare that I shouldn't have," Julian ran his fingers through his hair again and looked up at them desperately. He wasn't really seeing them, though, he was seeing his patients dying. "Then I wouldn't have given them the wrong dose and I wouldn't have killed them."
Surprisingly, it was Odo who made the final step and broke into Julian's personal space. He sat down beside him and wrapped his arms around Julian, pulling him close. Julian tensed up but after a few seconds, he relaxed into his embrace, curling up a little bit more. This time he was curling into Odo instead of himself, though.
"You didn't kill them," Odo said. "You made a mistake, and they died, but it's different from killing them. I know it doesn't feel like it right now. It's true, though. If you had ever killed someone, you'd know that," he sighed, and slipped his hand into Julian's. "But since you haven't, you'll have to trust me."
"And me," Garak chimed in, reaching out and running a finger along his jaw. Julian closed his eyes as Garak outlined his whole face while he talked. "No matter how skilled a doctor you are, sometimes you're going to lose for no good reason. It's part of the terrible nature of the universe. You have to accept it."
Julian knew they were both right. It didn't make him feel much better, though, because he kept seeing their faces. Their dying faces.
Garak moved to his other side and kept tracing the lines of his face. Odo eased both of them so they were lying down together, pulling the blanket up to cover him properly. Julian felt his breathing slow down and he knew, despite how keyed up he had been just minutes before, that he was about to drop off.
He had, quite clearly, been wrong about what their young relationship could handle. It was hard to speak, but Julian forced the words, "I love you both," out before slipping into sleep. He slept well.