A/N: Sorry for the terrible title…I'm not very good at coming up with those. Anyway, I wrote this several years ago, and I tried to edit it up a bit, but I'm sorry if it's not very good. Please read and review! Suggestions would be appreciated! :) I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters or the world or anything, no matter how much I wish I did. They belong to the lovely JK Rowling.
Harry tossed and turned in his bed in the boys' dormitory in his sleep. It was impossible to have a good sleep, despite how tired he was. Every time he drifted off, he saw flashes of green light, and corpses of Fred, Remus, Tonks, Colin…. And sometimes, if he wasn't having guilt nightmares, they were nightmares of Voldemort, and watching him torture everyone he loved, and him, Harry, being helpless to do anything. Harry sat up in bed with a start, letting out a gasp, breathing heavily. He looked around the dark, empty dormitory and lied back down. Get a grip, Potter, he told himself, Voldemort's gone. He can't hurt anyone now.
Still, Harry lied in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. He needed a good sleep—the exhaustion was killing him. He was getting more and more tired each day, and the bruise on his chest from where Voldemort shot the Killing Curse at him was getting worse. But he didn't go to Madam Pomfrey—she had more important things to worry about.
Finally around three o' clock in the morning, Harry drifted off into an uneasy sleep. He woke up the next day, and upon hearing someone moving around the dormitory, drew his wand, ready to Stun whoever was there.
Harry shoved on his glasses to find that he was pointing his wand at Ron. Ron's hands were up in an "I surrender" gesture, and Harry lowered his wand.
"Sorry," Harry muttered. "Just became an instinct."
"I know, mate," Ron nodded. "When someone tapped me on my shoulder this morning I nearly Stunned them. Guess it'll take a while before we normalize again."
Harry nodded. "D'you know what time it is?"
"One in the afternoon," Ron told him while rummaging through his rucksack. "You finally looked like you were having a somewhat peaceful sleep, so I didn't wake you up." –he glanced at Harry— "No offence, but you look terrible mate. You need to get a lot more sleep. And clean up, too. I took a shower and Hermione cut my hair this morning. I'll get her to do it for you too. And then after that you should go to bed for about ten more hours, or until tomorrow morning."
"It'd be pointless," Harry muttered. "Every time I close my eyes I see someone dying, or someone already dead, or a flash of green light or…" –Harry clenched his eyes closed, and then opened them and grimaced— "No matter how hard I try, I can't sleep peacefully."
"You can get one of those…what was it? Those dreamless sleep potions from Madam Pomfrey," Ron suggested. "I'm sure she's got some handy."
"She's busy." Harry said. "I shouldn't bother her. She has more important things to worry about. Like the people who are seriously injured."
"Speaking of injuries," Ron said. "How's that bruise doing?"
Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "Still hurts, but it's bearable."
Ron snorted. "Harry, bearable for you, and normal kinds of bearable are on two completely different scales."
Harry shrugged again. "I'm going to go take a shower." Harry got out of bed and stood up, conjuring jeans and a t-shirt with his wand. He grabbed them and walked into the bathroom.
When Harry finished with the bathroom, he felt better. Not completely, but mostly. He'd been in blood stained robes for a while before he showered.
"C'mon, let's go find Hermione." Ron said.
They went out of the dorm to the Common Room. Not many people were there, but a first year and her mother were sleeping in purple sleeping bags on the floor. The whole floor was covered with empty sleeping bags for people who didn't have a place in the dormitories. A fifth year boy was writing on a piece of parchment. And there was Hermione in her usual chair, talking to Andromeda, Tonks' mother, a sleeping baby in her arms.
Harry and Ron walked over to them and sat in other chairs near them.
"—doesn't really matter, either way is fine," Andromeda was talking to Hermione, and Hermione nodded while she spoke. Andromeda finally realized Harry and Ron had joined them. "Oh, hello Harry, hello Ron." Her face was tearstained.
"Hi," Harry said. "Is that…?"
"Teddy?" Andromeda finished for him, and Harry nodded. "Yes. He's a sweet little child."
"Oh, his hair's all green. So he's a metamorphamagus, then?" Ron asked.
Andromeda nodded. "Just like…just like…" her eyes welled up with tears and she burst into tears.
Hermione patted her comfortingly on the back and shot a dirty look at Ron. "It's okay, Mrs. Tonks, it's okay. They died nobly, they helped fight for freedom and a peaceful world. They're immensely brave. Tonks wouldn't want you to cry. She'd want you to be happy that the world is a better place, where Teddy can live without worrying about Voldemort or Death Eaters and such."
Andromeda wiped her eyes after a few minutes, finally calm enough to speak. "Thank you, dear. I know I should be happy…it's just hard knowing that Dora will never be able to see the new world."
"I'm so sorry," Harry said suddenly.
Everyone turned to look at him.
"You're…sorry?" Andromeda frowned.
"Yeah," Harry nodded. "It's my fault everyone died. If I was a bit faster…if I didn't let anyone help…."
"Don't be silly, Harry, it was their choice to fight." Andromeda said.
Harry dropped the subject, but still felt otherwise.
"Anyway, what we were discussing before you two came, is who gets custody of Teddy. Remus and Dora made you godfather, Harry, but you're only seventeen, and you need to get a job or finish school or whatever you're planning on doing. Looking after a baby would be too much for you, as you don't have much experience with looking after children. But I thought it best to ask you anyway." Andromeda explained.
Harry thought about it a moment. "Well I was planning on becoming an Auror…I don't know if I need to return to Hogwarts or not—I'll ask Kingsley. If I was in school it would be impossible to look after Teddy, but if I was in Auror Training…."
"It would be no problem for me to look after Teddy," Andromeda said. "I could use the company, and I don't have to worry about cost issues. It's up to you, Harry. Whatever you choose to do is fine with me."
"Well…" Harry said, thinking. "Could we start out with you watching Teddy, and maybe I could visit for a couple hours during weekends to see how you take care of him? And then, maybe in a month or so, I could take him on weekends if I don't need to go back to school."
"Sounds good to me," Andromeda nodded. "So it's settled then."
Just then, the baby opened his eyes, looking around at the people around him. "Would you like to hold him?" Andromeda asked Harry.
"I—er—sure," Harry said, biting his lip. He had no idea how to hold a baby.
Andromeda placed Teddy into Harry's arms, and Harry held him awkwardly.
"Just make sure you support his head," Andromeda informed him.
Harry nodded, and placed his hand behind Teddy's small head.
Teddy made a gurgling noise and looked up at Harry. Harry smiled. Teddy reached up toward Harry's face and grabbed the bridge of Harry's glasses, pulling him off his face. Ron and Hermione laughed and Andromeda smiled. Harry grinned, carefully taking his glasses back from the baby.
"He's got a strong grip," Harry noted, smiling.
After a few minutes, Andromeda said, "Well, I understand you'll want to be doing other things, and Teddy needs to eat, so we'll leave now. Have a good day Harry, Ron, Hermione!"
She carefully took Teddy from Harry and walked out of the common room.
"So what now?" Ron asked after a moment of silence.
"I suppose we could…roam around," Harry suggested.
They got up and walked out of the common room. The hallways were partially destroyed, leaving gaping holes in certain places. Rubble was scattered across the floor, and the stone walls were battered and partially broken.
Students and adults passed them, some looking grave, others with cheery smiles on their faces. Some murmured their sympathy, others congratulated them. And some just ignored them.
They passed the Great Hall, a few people filing out.
"Harry."
Harry turned around.
A redheaded girl stood there, not smiling, not frowning. Dried tears marked her face.
It was Ginny, his Ginny. Ginny, who had fought in the battle despite his wishes. Ginny, who had not put up a fuss when he had broken up with her the past year. Ginny, the girl who Harry realized he could truly not live without.
"Talk to you later," Harry said to Ron and Hermione as Hermione pulled Ron in a different direction.
"We need to talk," Ginny said, looking right into Harry's eyes. "Privately."
Harry nodded and let Ginny lead the way. They walked through the halls in silence, finally coming to a classroom that wasn't destroyed. Ginny opened the door and closed it once Harry had walked in after her. She stood facing Harry.
"Congratulations," Ginny muttered.
"Thanks," Harry said.
After a couple minutes silence, Ginny spoke. "So why'd you do it?"
"Do what?" Harry asked.
"Pretend to die," Ginny said. "Trick everyone into thinking you were dead. Not letting anyone know that you were okay! Just lying there, pretending to be dead while we all screamed for you to come back! How could you just lie there while everyone was devastated…worse than devastated! How could you do it to me?"
"Ginny, listen, you don't get it—" Harry began.
"I perfectly well get it! Just like I get everything about this whole war!" Ginny said, her voice rising, nearly screaming. "I understood the risks! I understood them!"
"Obviously not after what you did on my birthday!" Harry said, his temper rising.
Ginny was furious. "YOU kissed me back! The only reason you stopped was because Ron came in!"
"You knew you could get me to kiss you back!" Harry told her. "You knew it! You made me not want to go find the Horcruxes even more!"
"Exactly!" Ginny said. "I wanted you either not to go, or to take me along!"
"You couldn't have come along!" Harry said. "You were too young!"
SLAP. Harry's glasses flew across the floor with the force of Ginny's slap. He gaped at her, disbelief etched on his face.
"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I'M TOO YOUNG, POTTER! I'M ALWAYS THE YOUNG ONE, ALWAYS THE ONE EVERYONE CALLS 'LITTLE.' I'M ALWAYS LEFT BEHIND AND I'M SICK OF IT! I WANT TO HELP! I CAN HELP! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME?"
"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T, GINNY, YOU JUST CAN'T!"
"I'VE SHOWN YOU THAT I CAN! I HELPED IN THE BATTLE TOO, YOU KNOW! WHY DID YOU REFUSE TO LET ME HELP YOU?"
"WELL MAYBE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!"
And with that he wrapped his arms around Ginny and kissed her. And, to his relief, Ginny responded not by shoving him away like he had almost thought she would, but by running her hands through his hair and kissing him back, just like the old times by the lake.
"I've missed you so much," Ginny whispered as Harry stared into her chocolate brown eyes. "You can't imagine how much."
"I think I can," Harry said. "I looked for you every night on the Marauder's Map, just to see where you were. To know that you were still there, to know that you were still…"
Harry trailed off, and, try as he might to keep everything inside, a tear fell from his emerald eyes that had only wept a handful of times. Ginny raised her hand to his face and wiped the tear away before placing another kiss on his lips.
"You can cry, Harry," she said quietly, almost at a whisper. "You don't have to be so strong all the time."
Harry nodded, sniffling, and let a few more tears leak out before wiping them away and embracing Ginny once more. She wrapped her arms around him too, and they simply stood there for a while. How long they stood there, Harry didn't know. It could have been moments, hours, or days, and when they finally let their arms fall, their fingers intertwined.
"I love you, Ginny," Harry said, looking at the beautiful redhead in front of him. "I really, really love you."
"I love you too, Harry," Ginny said, a smile forming on her freckled face. "I always have."
They left the classroom, hands locked together, fingers still intertwined. Harry and Ginny let the sound of their footsteps carry through the empty halls, the only sound other than their beating hearts. The two teens approached a window and the end of the hallway, and Harry dropped Ginny's hand, peering out over the landscape.
The rolling hills were the brightest green, expanding off into the horizon. The sky was a pure blue, spreading like a canopy over the entire scene. In front of the castle, despite the rubble and the ruin, the lake still sparkled, and the waves continued to crash against the shore in a steady rhythm. The sun radiated down upon everything, its rays providing warmth and light.
Harry closed his eyes for a moment, letting it all sink in. Despite everything that had happened, life continued to go on. It should go on. All of the people had not died in vain. They had died to enable life to continue in the way it should. And he, too, would allow his life to go on. Harry opened his eyes slowly, and turned away from the scenery, towards Ginny, and towards the rest of life. But as he did, he could have sworn he had seen a snowy owl fly past into the distance.