This is definitely SwanQueen, warning for good feelings, fluffy and some tear.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I just like writing about these characters.
So, english is not my first language, sorry if there are grammar or grammatical errors.
I do hope you enjoy this and, if you want, I would love to read your comments and reviews. They're the best way to improve language and writing, so please let me know what you think.
Thank you for reading!
-Ally xoxo
"Hey!" Emma broke into the lounge finding her wife there, sat down at the table with her head in her hands. "Babe, are you ok? I just woke up and you weren't there and I almost had an heart attack." No answer came from the woman and the blonde frowned and quickly approached placing a hand on her still tousled brown hair. "What's going on? Are you sick?"
Finally, Regina slowly lowered her hands revealing her reddened puffy eyes. "I'm sorry, I just..." Her voice died in her throat.
"What? You're scaring me."
"I-I'm sorry, Em. It was...just a nightmare, I guess." The brunette shook her head, biting her lower lip. Emma looked at her pointedly, gently rubbing her back. Rarely her wife looked so scared, so hurt. she had not had such powerful bad dreams for a while, now. But she had always knew they were going to come back one day. And, as usual, she was mad at herself for letting Regina feel so bad, for not making her feel protected.
She sighed and placed a loving kiss on her forehead, stroking her cheeks with her thumbs. "It's all right, my love. I got you. You're ok, we're fine. It's all right." The brunette gave a small smile, not very convincing, and buried her face in her wife's chest.
"I'm so sorry I woke you up. I just...I couldn't sleep."
"Hush, babe. It's ok. You didn't do anything, I can feel on my own when something's wrong. We're family, we can feel each other, remember?" Em caressed again her cheek, putting a lock of rebel brown hair behind her ear. "I'm gonna make something warm, ok? And then we're talking about it."
Regina paled even more, possibly. "Couldn't we...?"
"I don't think so. Come on, you know it works Regina. It's always worked." Emma lifted her chin with one finger and gave a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'll be back in ten. Will you be ok?"
Regina sighed and nodded, crossing her arms on the surface of the table. "Yes."
"Good." She smiled as the other woman put down her head on her crossed arms, closing her eyes.
"Emma?"
"Uhuh?"
"I love you."
"I love you too." She didn't heard, while going into the kitchen, Regina's broken whisper "For now...".
"Hot infusion with relaxing herbs and a teaspoon of honey." Emma announced, placing a steaming cup in front of her on the table. "I really hope it's more enjoyable than it looks like, because I'm definitely not making it again without a perfectly good reason."
Regina Mills looked between her wife and the cup, her eyebrows raised. "How...healthy."
"Yeah, I learned from the best."
The former queen gave a faint smirk as she brought the cup to her lips, but Emma didn't buy it.
"So..." She started again, licking her own spoon before putting it down. "The dream."
Regina took a long sip of her infusion, mostly to take more time. But she knew that, in the end, she had no chance to avoid the truth. Not when Miss Swan was so intentioned in not giving up. She took a deep breath. "Look, dear. I'm not really sure it's a good idea."
Emma frowned, narrowing her eyes. "Why?"
"Because..." Regina looked away, fiddling with her finger on the edge of the cup. "I don't want you to be upset."
"I won't be. I'm here for you, Regina. Just let me help, let me in. We can do it together."
"What if I don't want to share it?" She breathed finally, dryly. A pang of remorse crossed her chest when she saw Emma's hurt face.
"But...but we always share everything. We're..."
"I know that! But, Emma, what if it scares you? What if you...I can't. I can't lose you."
"Oh, babe...this is not happening." Emma grabbed her hand on the table and firmly looked straight in her eyes. "I'm not leaving you. And, for sure, I won't do it for a stupid bad dream." Regina shivered, closing her eyes strongly. Sometimes she really hated the way the blonde knew her. Quite so much to know what was going through her mind. "Regina, I don't mind what you saw, no matter what you did in there. I do love you. And I won't leave. I promise."
"How can you be so sure?" She bursted.
"Because I trust you. I believe you. I know you better than yourself. And don't look at me that way, Miss Mills. You know you can be terribly hard on yourself, so stop it. Just stop being an idiot and have some faith in me."
"Ok." She finally gave up. She let a small sigh. "I dreamed...of the curse." Emma nodded. She had imagined it was something like that, but she didn't interrupt her. Actually she let her talk and explain and let off steam. "I was again the evil queen and I was casting it once more. But the worst...you know, I needed a heart. And this time it wasn't my father's one. This time..." Regina gulped and looked away, but Emma squeezed her hand.
"This time...it was Henry's heart?" She muttered, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb. "Regina..."
"I'm so, so sorry, Emma." She breathed, a tear making her way on her cheek. "I-I can't believe..."
"Hey. It's fine, Henry's fine, we're all fine."
"No, we're not!" Regina almost yelled, standing up. Emma stared at her with a raised brow. "It wasn't only Henry's, it was our daughter's heart too. How could I dream such a horrible thing? God, I'm a monster and I'm a terrible mother! You should run away, Emma. The all three of you should. I'm dangerous, I could hurt you! What kind of person am I?"
"Mine." Emma stood too. She turned around the table to reach her beautiful wife in tears, a woman still destroyed by the remorse. "You are MY person Regina. Whether you like it or not."
"Please, please Emma step away from me." She tried to push her physically away, but Emma grabbed her waist and, in a few moments, she was hugging her tightly.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I can't go away, Regina, because if I do...I could lose well more than a lover. I could lose a part of me." Regina hid her face on the other's shoulder, letting herself relax in those arms. "I thought it was clear. We're one. As well as darkness and light, Regina. Or night and day. They're all part of the circle. It's ok to be scared, it's ok to feel hurt. But please, don't ever push me away again, because we work together. All of us. Am I clear now?"
Regina slowly took a step behind, as Emma wiped her tears. "Yes. I'm sorry..."
"Don't be. Just...don't you dare think you could hurt our children. Because I know you can't and so do they. Don't let me make this clearer in some less pleasant way." She put a kiss on her nose and grabbed her hand again. "Now, with me. Upstairs."
"Where are we going?" The former queen questioned with a frown, without resistance though. She let Emma pull her up the stairs, trusting her. And the blonde dragged her to their daughter's chamber. Both of them actually froze to see it empty.
"Emma..." Regina whispered, losing a beat. "Where...what..."
"Kid? Allison? Where the hell are you?" It was clear by the tone of voice of the sheriff that she wasn't so sure and calm as she wanted to show herself.
"Moms? Here, in my room." A third voice came from the end of the hall. The two women hurried toward Henry's room. On the door, Emma sighed in relief as Regina entered with a hand through her hair. A little girl, four years old, was curled up at her brother's side, in his bed. Henry was up on his elbow, his eyes going back and forth between the mothers.
"What's up?" He inquired, looking worried.
"Kid, you two scared the life out of me. Ally's bed was empty and we..."
"I know. Sorry, she woke up and went to your room but you weren't there, so I let her sleep in my bed. But I mean...are you two ok?" His smart eye captured the face of her brunette mother, still filled with pain and anxiety. "Mom?"
"She'll be ok, kid." Emma answered calmly, rubbing her own temples while looking at their now fifteen boy. "Right, love?"
Regina nodded, sitting at the edge of the bed. "I'm already better, now that you're all in front of me and pretty fine." Henry let out a confused look, but Emma shrugged and mimicked a "Forget it kid", as she took place on a chair. The boy narrowed his eyes, lost in thoughts, but then gave a small smart smile and acted casually.
"So...hey, mom. Would you like to take Ally in your bed from now on? This one is a bit too small, ya' know..."
The all three of them knew what this was up to. Henry was a clever young man, he had got what was going on and knew that Regina could feel better just holding the baby for a while. When she was scared this usually worked out good: to have the ones she loved quite near to her.
"Alright dear, are you sure he's your son?" Regina smirked to her wife, who was adorably pouting right now.
"Should I feel offended?" She asked, crossing her arms. But once again Henry saved the moment.
"Of course not, ma'. You should feel proud!" He let out a small laugh and the little Allison began fidgeting in her sleep.
"Shush, you two!" Regina scolded them, wrapping her baby in her own arms with a soft smile. Henry raised her hand with a victorious gesture at the sight and Emma stood and ruffled his hair.
"I am proud of you, kid, like you can't even imagine. Good night." She gave him a kiss on his forehead (something to which he grimaced, but both of them knew it was only matter of script) as Regina stood with Allison still asleep in her arms and added: "If you wanna come in our bed too you're more the welcome, dear."
Emma giggled. "Right, we can always buy a new bed in the morning if this one doesn't survive!" But the look Regina shot her suddenly froze her laugh. "What? I was joking!"
"Don't worry, I'm a little grown up for that. But just know that I love you moms."
"We love you too." Regina smiled, before turning to bring her youngest child in bed again.
Regina was lying on her side, her head resting on her elbow and her attention stuck on the little girl asleep between she and Emma. She had Emma's eyes but her smile, the hair was naturally curled just like the sheriff's ones but brown as hers. She was a perfect mixture of them. And, with perfect, she meant it.
"You were right, you know?" She let out in a whisper, wondering if Emma was still awake.
"Of course I were." The ready answer came immediately. "About what?"
"I couldn't hurt them."
Emma turned and looked deeply at the brunette but stayed silent.
"What you said earlier." Regina asked softly. "Did you really mean it?"
Emma frowned, trying to remember which one among the things she had said had seriously made its way in her wife's head. Actually, after so many years, she was almost sure the woman were impervious to her scoldings. "I don't know what you're talking about, Regina, but I'm sure I did. I never told you something I didn't really think or believe, you know that."
Regina nodded, still not completely convinced. "The thing about darkness and light being one, both being part of the circle." She cleared, looking straight into Emma's eyes. She didn't look away, which surprised the woman even more. "You meant it."
"Yes. I definitely did. The opposites create life, Regina, they don't destroy it. We are the living proof, aren't we? Our kids are the living proof." Emma sat up in the bed, hands in her lap. "How can you even not understand this? It's easy. Without the morning there shouldn't be the night. And vice versa. You couldn't even know about the darkness if there wasn't the light. I wouldn't be the Emma I am without the Em I've been in my messed up past. I couldn't be the Emma I am now without you and all the things we faced together. Can you get what I'm saying?"
Regina sat up too, careful not to wake up the child, a blank stare on her face. "I think so. But I've been the evil queen for so much that I can't believe I'm not gonna do all of that again. Sometimes I ask myself how the hell did I not see the truth while I did the worst things. I should have known what was right when I..." She covered gently her daughter ears with her palms before keep talking "...When I killed someone and looked at its tears or painful face." She shivered again and finally covered her eyes with a hand.
"Well, that's what I was talking about, I'm glad you asked it. How were you supposed to see the light if you were actually surrounded by darkness?"
Regina lowered her hand revealing eyes filled with tears, but she didn't let them slip out as she smiled. "Now I see where your son came from." She giggled and then bit her lip. "I've seen light again about five years ago, anyway."
"When, exactly?"
"When I was about to die. And then you all came in the mine and brought me hope again when I had actually lost it. Or let it go."
"I see." Emma lowered her gaze. "I wish it was because of me, but truth is that I was going to let you be our hero and take away our son. How idiot..."
"Well, you were doing the right thing. Besides, it was my choice to give up my life so Henry could not grow up alone and he could be happy again. I believed I couldn't ever be in the picture again and it was the best for him to not be in constant tension. And, actually, you were right about me being responsible of everything..."
"No!" The blonde looked up quickly and grabbed her hand. "Please, don't." She took a deep sight. "Look, Regina, I remember what happened, but the thing is...I'm glad my mom chose that time to really be my guide and make me do the actual right thing."
Emma softly took her wife in her arms and pulled her to her own chest, kissing her temple.
"You forgot something, though." Regina said not moving off from her embrace.
"What?"
"It was you who saved all of us in the end. We stopped the trigger together. And no one made you do the right thing back then, when you chose to use magic with me." Regina smiled softly.
"Yeah, I had a stroke of genius." Emma giggled and Regina took some distance and, with a small loving smile, put a kiss on Allison's forehead.
"So, what about we try to get some more sleep before our daughter jump on the bed and drag us downstairs to make pancakes?"
"This is a stroke of genius too." Emma nodded, lying down again. "And, Regina...no more secrets? Even if you're scared to lose me?"
It took Regina a moment to respond. "No more secrets, Emma Swan. Primarily if I'm scared."
"Good." The blonde took one of the hands of her wife and one of her daughter. "I'll be right here."
Regina smiled, staring at the ceiling. "I know, dear. Thank you, for being part of my circle."
Em was almost asleep when she just muttered... "Anytime."
So, I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to say something to me (or hug me or virtually punch me in the face!) please know that you're more than welcome (well, if you wanna punch me then know that I'm like kung fu Panda so be aware!)! I'd love to, so don't be shy.
This was thought as a oneshot.
Thanks for reading and have a great day/night! :)