Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. I am not affiliated in any way, shape or form with anyone who does.
Locke stared at the computer silently. The timer had reached ten minutes and, although he had more than enough time to go and do something before he had to enter the numbers, he had become accustomed to his daily ritual of sitting, and staring, and waiting.
But if he closed his eyes and focused upon the silence he could almost imagine that he was back in the real world, sitting in his cubicle, typing meaninglessly at his old computer… although now it didn't seem so meaningless. Because, at the end of the day, he could go home again; he could turn the computer off.
He immersed himself into his favourite fantasy scenario, the one where rescue planes came to take everybody off the island. The planes had just passed overhead, everyone on the beach was jumping and screaming with joy when there was a crashing noise that jolted Locke awake. He opened his eyes to see that Jack had entered the hatch, accidentally knocking some items onto the floor.
Jack looked between him and the clock, now on eight minutes, "you sleeping John?"
Locke could tell from Jack's tone that he was annoyed with him. For a brief moment Locke considered retaliating, snapping at Jack and telling him to leave him alone, to stop focusing on every single fault or mistake. Instead he settled for sighing heavily, "no, just thinking."
He didn't want to risk his relationship with Jack by retaliating. He knew that they weren't friends, they weren't even casual acquaintances; he knew that Jack couldn't stand him, wouldn't be surprised if he hated him, but Jack was willing to tolerate him, and, no matter how many times he considered retaliating, Locke didn't want to lose that.
Jack had busied himself by searching for something; he wasn't looking at Locke and wasn't talking to him. Locke took a deep breath, there had been something he had been wondering recently, something about Jack.
"Do you want to leave the island Jack?"
"What? You say something?" Jack paused in his search to raise himself up to full height.
"I… I was just wondering whether you wanted to leave the island."
Jack stared incredulously at Locke for a moment before shaking his head and continuing his quest. "No, I don't."
Locke wasn't surprised by the answer. Recently Jack had been changing; he'd been relaxing more, worrying less. He reminded Locke of himself, soon after the plane crash, before everything fell apart.
"Why'd you ask?"
"No reason. I just wanted to know."
"How about you?"
Locke's gaze drew away from the computer towards Jack. He hadn't expected a conversation. He'd expected the curt, exasperated answer, which he had received, but he had no inkling that it would go beyond that.
"Yeah, I'd like to leave."
Confusion shot through Jack's eyes, "thought you loved it here. Wandering around," Jack waved an arm aimlessly, trying to form the end of his sentence, "hunting things."
Locke felt a sharp pain at the mentioning of that period of his life, he missed it each and every day, but he had decided to try and accept that those days were gone. "I did."
"Not anymore then?"
Jack's voice was disinterested and Locke turned back to his computer, the timer now on seven minutes. "Why don't you want to leave?"
"It's nice here, on the island. When we're not being attacked, or kidnapped it isn't too bad. It's a lot more relaxing than the real world. It's freer." Jack found the item he had been looking for and began to head away, out of the hatch, but he froze, turned back till he was standing near Locke. "Why do you want to leave?"
"I miss the real world. It's freer."
Jack scoffed and Locke could tell that he wasn't believed. But he meant it, ever since he had found the hatch he had been trapped by it. To begin with he had been trapped by the burning desire to find out why his paralysis had disappeared, and then by the need to find out why it was returning. After Boone's death, it had been the need to find a reason why the island had betrayed him, why it had let Boone die.
The hatch was going to hold all the answers, there was going to be something amazing in it, something that would change his life forever, he was finally going to find out all the answers he had been desperate for…
And he had found a man. He had found a button. There were no answers as to his paralysis, and there were certainly no answers as to why Boone had died. He had become trapped again, trapped because he felt that if he left the hatch, the computer, the button, that he was betraying Boone. Boone had died so that Locke could gain entrance into the hatch, and to go and enjoy himself hunting, would belittle Boone's sacrifice. And Locke couldn't bring himself to do that.
But if the rescue planes came, then he would be back in the real world. He wouldn't enjoy it, he would still be miserable, so he wouldn't have to worry about betraying Boone. The point was that he would be less miserable.
"The real world isn't free. It's… miserable." Jack leaned against a wall, avoiding eye contact with Locke. There was something new in his voice, something that Locke didn't recognise, it was truth. "I never wanted to be a doctor, be my father's son, be the hero. I still have to be the doctor here, but less than I used to. I'm able to take time off and relax, get to know people without thinking of them as patients. This is freedom."
Jack moved away from his wall and left the hatch. Locke looked around as the room was filled with the penetrating noise of the alarm. He typed the numbers into the computer, pressed the button and began to wait for the alarm to sound again.
"No, it isn't."
A/N: Please Review.