It was the end to yet another day in the life of our favorite villain, Voldemort. This is just a sample of his 'Ruling the World' stuff-to-do list.

1) Kill Harry

2) Take over the world

3) get more soda

4) write more detailed plans

As you can see, it's not the best plan ever. He checks his list, frowns, then logs on to the 'Villain' chat site. Pretty soon, IMs are popping up and he's on a roll.

(real live chat featuring Voldemort(red), Morgarath(blue), Capricorn(green), Harry Potter(orange), Halt(purple))

LordVoldy12 has logged in.

LordVodly12: Hey everybody!

RulerofAll: Hey, voldy's in the house!

Shadowmaster: wassup homie?

LordVoldy12: The usual.

RulerofAll: How's taking over the world goin' for ya way out there in London?

LordVoldy12: Oh, you know how I work. Today, I foiled Dumbledore's feeble attempts at tracking me down, had a meeting with my Death Eaters (BORING), and killed 3 people. Nobody panic, it was called an 'Accident' by the Muggles.

RulerofAll: Lame. Wassup with u, Capris?

Shadowmaster: I do think my plan was much better.

LordVoldy12: Can't top the master.

Shadowmaster: Oh yea? I summoned the shadow! It swallowed up several ppl! I can beat you any day of the week!

LordVoldy12: Sunday, then?

SHadowmaster: ur on!

RulerofAll: Gentelmen, plz! Wat is this, anyway? A duel site? NO! can we just get ON with out conference?

RocksUrSocks101 has logged in.

RocksUrSocks101: Just checkin' in to gloat. HA HA VOLDY!

LordVoldy12: Idk wat ur talkin' bout!

RocksUrSocks101: Check out the username, THEN come and try again.

RulerOfAll: Silence, child. The masterminds are busy.

shadowmaster: ohh burn!!!

RocksUrSocks101: Who invited the moron?
LordVoldy12: he's got a point.

(phone rings)

LordVoldy12: Xcuse me for a 'mo.

Voldy picks up the phone.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" he shouts into the phone.

"Geez, don't yell. I was just calling to tell you about this REALLY funny video on VilTube." The familiar voice of a Death eater quietly says.

"Do tell." Voldy says, suddenly intrigued.

"Alright, go look up, 'Voldy rules, Harry drools'. It's HILARIOUS."

"Whatever. You interrupted my chat. What did you REALLY call to tell me?"

"Oh, yea. Well, the plan is going exactly as planned. I went out to the lake, and caught you a fresh bass."

Voldy slaps himself upside the head. "No, you moron, not the DINNER plan, the RULE THE WORLD PLAN."

"Oh right. Well..." the phone suddenly goes silent. Voldy sighes, hears the rumbling of his stomach, and gets out a phone book.

ARCHIE'S FAMOUS ROMAN PIZZA!

456-879-PIZZA

Voldy calls the number.

"Welcome to Archie's Pizza. My name is (insert name here). Oh, right. My name is Chad. How may I be serving you.. today?"

"I'd like to place an order."

"For here or carry out?"

"I'm not in the restaurant you idiot! Of COURSE it's carry-out!"

"Would you like to place and order with us.. today?"

"YES! I would like a pizza."

"Small, medium, large, or Archie?"

"Large, with extra cheese, peppers, jalapeños, peanut butter, anchovies.."

"Whoa, dude, like slow down. What size pizza again?"

"LARGE YOU IMBECIL!"

"Right. Would you like toppings on your pizza?"

"Why would I just order the dough? You moron. I'll have cheese..."

"Mozzarella?"

"What other kind do you PUT on a pizza?"

"I dunno. Like, mozzarella, I guess."

Voldy slaps his head. "Stupid Muggle!"

"No need for insults, dude, I'm just taking your order. Now, what would you like to order today?"

"I'd like a LARGE pizza, with EXTRA CHEESE, ONIONS, JALAPENOS, ANCHOVIES, and PEPPERS!"

There was a pause on the phone. "Hello. My name is (insert name here). Oh, right. Sorry. Hello. My name is (insert na-- Chad. How may I be serving you today?"

"Nevermind."

"Would you like cheese on that?"

"I said NEVERMIND! GOODBYE!" he slams the phone back onto the receiver, then turns back to his chat.

Shadowmaster: DO you want to take this outside?!

RocksUrSocks101: BRING IT ON, BUDDY!

RulerOfAll: CAN WE PLZ SETTLE THIS IN AN ORDERLY FASHION?

LordVoldy12: Guys, you won't believe what I've just been through. So I call the pizza place, and this STUPID muggle answers the phone. OMG I HATE THEM SO MUCH! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GO FALL DOWN A WELL?!

RocksUrSocks101: did u just insult my fam?

LordVoldy12: Yes, I did. Lily WAS A MUGGLE! So, by genetics, if ya'll wanna get all technical, U r too, Harry.

RocksUrSocks101: OH YEA?

UnseenRanger87 has logged in.

RulerOfAll: Oh gr8.

UnseenRanger87: What seems to be the problem here?

LordVoldy12: Go fall down a well!

ShadowMaster: Voldy here is having issues with humanity.

UnseenRanger87: Oh rly?

RocksUrSocks101: he INSULTED me!

RulerOfAll: pwned is a btr word 4 it.

LordVoldy12: You JUST GOT PWNED! SUCKA!
UnseenRanger87: So it would seem. You have to face facts, Harry. He pwned u.

Shadowmaster: PWN!!!!!!

RocksUrSocks101: Oh shut up.

RulerOfAll: Shut up is a mean word.

LordVoldy12: It's a mean world. =)

UnseenRanger87: BURN!!

Shadowmaster: Now who's the idiot?! HUH? HUH? :D

RocksUrSocks101: Whatev, i'm outta here. :(

RocksUrSocks101 has logged out.

RulerOfAll: As am I. I'm tired of being put down all the time! :'(

RulerOfAll has logged out.

ShadowMaster: HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!

ShadowMaster has logged out.

UnseenRanger87: I rly must be going. Will looks rather perplexed, and Morgarath is up to something. He usually doesn't just log out like that.

UnseenRanger87 has logged out.

LordVoldy12: Well, looks like it's just down to me. - sigh - Good night. Evil can't just do itself, now can it?

LordVoldy12 has logged out.

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R&R More to come I promise!