Part 1
[[Final Fantasy 7 is not mine, nor is Captain Planet. Thank you, the management.]]
"Is it ready?"
"Yes sir."
"Excellent. This will make me the richest man in the world." President Jonathon Shinra gloated in absolute darkness.
"But sir, you are already the richest man in the world." A lackey commentated.
"Guard A." Shinra asked.
"Yes my liege?"
"Shoot guard B."
In a moment, the darkness lifted away, revealing a dead man, a Shinra soldier, and the big tomalley himself, president Shinra A.K.A Mako man. They stood in front of a giant diesel engine, about two stories tall and 30 tons.
"Sir, permission to speak freely?" Guard A asked.
"Go ahead."
"What exactly is this thing anyway?"
"It's an advanced Mako reactor. Completely unmanned and compact, it will make me batrillzions!" Mako man laughed.
"Uh sir, wouldn't that drain the planet even faster?"
"Of coarse! That's what I'm hoping for. Money at the expense of the ecology. Bwahahahahaha!"
"That's bound to lure your most hated enemies, sir."
"Yes yes, I know. That's what I'm expecting, but don't worry, I'll show those planet punks a thing or two with my new 'toy'."
** *
Life draining monopolists, DNA splicing scientists, and meteor summoning psychos! It seems no one cares for the planet these days, but that's where you're wrong! It's time for…
CAPTAIN CETRAAnd the Cetrateers!
** *
Somewhere on Knights of the Round Island…
"And that should be the last of em!" Cloud Strife, self-appointed leader of the Centrateers wiped his brow after a long day of teamwork tree planting.
"Arbor day should be everyday. After all, trees help the environment in a number of ways!" Tifa Lockheart giggled.
"Man, I'm beat. Hey, let's use our materia power to cool ourselves off!" Yuffie Kisargi said after throwing her gloves onto the wheel barrel.
"That's a great idea Yuffie! I'll use my power of water to make us drinks!" Tifa smiled.
"And I'll use my power of wind to make us a nice breeze." Yuffie searched in her pockets to locate her time materia.
"I can't help girls. I only have the power of bolt!" Cloud said as he leaned himself on a new tree.
"Hey numbskulls!" Cid Highwind said as he joined the three in the new part of the forest. "I just finished the adjustments on the Eco-Highwind. Want to see?"
"Not right now Cid, I'm relaxing after a long day of helping the environment." Cloud yawned.
"Relaxing?! How can you be relaxing at a time like this! I just finished the god damned Eco-Highwind and all you can say is 'I'm relaxing'?!" Cid stomped his foot.
"Fine, but first we should pick up these tools. After all, only you can prevent forest fires!" Cloud said.
"Hopefully Cid has some A/C on his ship." Yuffie sighed.
"Alternating Current?" Tifa asked puzzled.
"No! Like Air-Conditioning! Gawd!" Yuffie moaned.
"Nope. Air Conditioners are known to cause CFC's, which cause holes in the ozone layer. Remember, avoid all CFC producing products!" Cid responded.
** *
Inside the new Eco-Highwind, which looked exactly the same except painted yellow, Red XIII, Barret Wallace, and Vincent Valentine we're testing out all the latest gizmos on board.
"This game of pong is amazing! It challenges my mental capacities as well as my dexterity!" Red XIII happily commented.
"It's nothing compared to… THE POWER OF EARTH!" Barret said as he used his materia powers to raise the landing pad.
"Stop playing around Barret. You know that raising the topography can ruin some animals homes and can be a leading cause of cancer!" Vincent said coolly as he leaned against the helm.
"It can really cause cancer?!" Barret immediately lowered the landing pad again.
"No."
"Damn! Your power of spookyness gives me the chills whenever you speak Vince."
"The power of fire commands that you head to Bugenhagens HQ! We're receiving a message!" Red said as he hung up the telephone.
"What's Mako man up to this time!?" Vincent asked himself.
** *
Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Cid, Barret, Red XIII, Vincent, and Cait Sith met up in a bamboo hut inside a cave on Knights of the Round Island. This is where Bugenhagen lived, and he was their boss.
"Powers of bolt, water, wind, pressure, earth, fire, spookyness, and heart, there is a problem. You, the cetrateers, must go and destroy Mako man's new invention, the Mako Reactor deluxe with new compact action. Hoo hoo hooo! Use your powers wisely, and if you are in trouble, summon Captain Cetra!"
"Aye Aye!" The cetrateers excitedly yelled as they hurried off to the Eco-Highwind and bring ecological justice to Mako man.
"Hoo hoo hooo! With them gone, now I can finish Skies of Arcadia!" Bugenhagen laughed as he secretly turned on his rainforest friendly dreamcast.
** *
"Ah, this lovely meadow should be just fine for testing out the new Mako Reactor deluxe with compact action!" Mako man grinned happily between a huge Cuban cigar. To his right was Professor Hojo, A.K.A Animal Tester. On Mako man's left was Sephiroth, A.K.A Earth destroyer.
The three anti-naturalists hopped out of a large truck carrying the new Mako Reactor deluxe with compact action to the green grass. The sky was blue, the birds were singing, the deer were patiently sipping away at the babbling Brooke, and the trees swayed romantically in the breeze. It all made Mako man sick.
"Ungh. All this fresh air is giving me a rash! Guards! Immediately install the new Mako Reactor deluxe with compact action in the middle of this field!" Mako man screamed.
"Yes sir!" The guards ran to the back of the truck and began fiddling around.
"Well my fellow planet killers, is this not a perfect site to start the new line of reactors?" Mako man tugged on his coat.
"Yes indeed. Plenty of animals to hideously mutate with scientific genetics! Hehehehehehe!" Animal Tester rubbed his hands together.
"…and once I destroy the planet, it will be mine and I will be a god, and …" Earth Destroyer was mumbling to himself.
"Uh, sir?" A lackey asked from behind the truck.
"What is it grunt?! I'm rather busy gloating!" Mako man shouted angrily while puffing on his cigar.
"Uh…where do we plug it in?" The guard asked.
"What?" Mako man asked shocked. "Excuse me for one moment."
Mako man stomped around to the back of the truck where the four guards stood confused. "What do you mean 'plug it in'?"
One of the guards held a large, three-pronged male plug in his hand. "It needs to be plugged into an outlet."
"And the nearest one is at Chocobo Billy's to the south!" Another guard commented.
"You idiots! Why did you make this thing with a plug instead of with a battery?!" Mako man insulted the group.
"Um, well, we kind of thought we'd be using it in some one's home…" A guard sadly said.
"What?! This thing is two stories tall and 30 tons! How's it going to fit in anyone's house?!"
"…They could have had a big house sir…" The fourth guard replied.
"Grrrrr! All right! Do any of you have an extension cord?" Mako man commanded.
"I do sir! Right here in the truck bed!" A guard responded.
"Ok. I want you to drive out to Chocobo Billy's and ask him if you can plug it in there." Mako man took a breath of smoke.
"That's 45 miles!" One of the guards surprisingly added.
"Um…what if he says no?" The guard with the extension asked.
"Well then say please." Mako man said.
"Alright sir…but what if he continues to say no?"
"Then continue to say please until he says yes."
"Right your excellency, but what if he never says yes?"
"Hmmm, well I can see your point there…" Mako man put his plump fist to his chin.
"What is the problem, Mako man?" Animal Tester said as he rounded the truck's right bumper.
"Ah Animal Tester! Hopefully your intelligence can help the situation. Eh…" Mako man hesitated a moment to find the words for the cause. "…These soldiers equipped the Mako Reactor deluxe with compact action with a plug, and obviously you can see that there is no outlet out here."
"Do you not have an extension cord? You can walk to the nearest home and ask to use their outlet."
"Yes, yes. An extension cord is ready with the soldier with the 556'ers and pineapples, but he believes that Chocobo Billy, 45 miles south of here, won't let us use his outlet."
"…Why not say please? It works 67 percent of the time with common folks."
"I know I know. Say please. But being the villains, Chocobo Billy may not be so polite and friendly, so if we continue to ask please when he says no…"
"You'll be in a continuous verbal loop forever, and we surly do not have the time, especially with the cetrateers.. Aha! I've got it! There should be an outlet in the truck! Plug it in there!"
"Of coarse! Animal Tester, you're a genius, my boy! I'll be sure to give you an extra package of cute little bunnies when pay time comes 'round."
"Oh goody! I can hardly wait."
"Quite. Guards!"
"Yes sir?!" The four guards saluted.
"Plug it in to the truck. Let's start making money!"
"And pollution!" Animal Tester added.
** *
To be Continued…