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Dealing with the Truth
Chapter One: Ling Xiaoyu: What I feel, a major problem and a big decision.
By: czee
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Hey! I'm Ling Xaoyu and welcome to my boring world. Well, actually you could call it ex-boring world. Not it's 'sort-off-dull-but-sort-off-fun-cause-someone-special-is-in-it-world'. Now, who is this someone you ask? He's actually a friend of mine, he's tall with black spiky hair and a very, and I mean very, muscular body. His name you ask? He's none other than the famous Kazama Jin.
I know. It's hardly believable huh? I myself am unable to believe the transformation he had gone through. So much has changed and I believe that it has been for the better.
You see, Kazama Jin was once this snobbish, unsociable, stuck-up snot who never really talked to anyone in school with the exception of teachers and students who asked him something. He never gave a damn about things that had nothing to do with him. Totally self-centered. He's never even bothered to turn his head for someone. Oh no, no, no, no, no. That foolish and straining act would just mess his hair up. To put things short, he was all looks and no substance. Gorgeous on the outside, a total ass on the inside.
So how exactly did someone so horrible turn into this guy who actually makes my day loads of fun? How did Kazama Jin become my friend?
The answer to things does not always have to be complicated. We simple lived in the same house. Did you think that I, Ling Xiaoyu, would be able to stand a whole training session without at least one decent conversation with anyone? The day that Ling Xiaoyu would be able to spend hours and hours with someone without talking to him/her would be the day that well, the day that I like in my wake.
We had training sessions everyday and I took this opportunity to be able to talk to him. Heihachi is, of course, the reason why I had bothered training with him. And yes, Heihachi also happened to be the reason as to why I reside in this house er… mansion. But trust me, you wouldn't want to hear about that. It's just a story too long to tell.
Getting back where I left off, Heihachi ordered both of us to train together everyday after school. According to him, it was to prepare us for the King of Iron Fist Tournament. Being the good and obedient girl that I was, I followed Heihachi's orders and trained with Jin. I wasn't stupid enough to disobey him. This is his mansion anyway and he was feeding me and giving me shelter. The least I could do to repay him back would be to follow his orders. But goodness, training was hell in the beginning. I don't think I've ever suffered so much. Imagine working your ass off for hours without talking. You got it, it's hell alright. I couldn't stand the silence that engulfed us once we entered the training room. The silence that was always present with him around. So naturally, I did what any person would have done. I talked to him.
Conversations with Jin were plain and polite in the beginning. It starts with a "Hi.", a "How was your day?", then a "Bye!". I know, it doesn't really sound that bad but trust me, it sucked. I had almost given up on him. His reply always annoyed the hell out of me. "Hi.", "fine", "thank you", and "bye" were the only words that I would be able to get out of his mouth. Fortunately for him before I had really given up all hope of him carrying out long and fun conversations, he opened up to me. And well, I guess you could see where it went. My hard work paid off. Now, I'm practically the only person he talks to normally in school. To put it simple, we're best friends.
But, before the best friends thing, we wouldn't talk to me much. It took a lot of patience to get to where I am right now. See, he has this thing about trusting people. Unlike me, it takes a while before people start warming up on him and it takes even longer for people to gain his trust. The reason for this involves an incredibly sad and long story concerning his childhood and his mom, which I would rather not get into right now. It's not my position to say it anyway. And right now, I'm just relieved that he opened up to me that day and has come to trust me. Believe me, all the work and patience I put into convincing Jin to trust me was well worth it.
I'm probably one of the very few people who knows who Jin truly is inside. Now a single person in the whole school knows how Jin really is, what he usually does and how incredibly fun he is. Hell, even I was surprised by the person I met once the walls surrounding him melted around me. It just seems impossible that this extremely sweet and caring guy is the same as that snobbish, rich, stuck-up snot I met during my first few days here. Trust me, you'll get awestruck by his personality. He'll always be there for you. When you're sick, he'll care for you, stay by your side and even cook for you. And hell, people in school would be thousands just to be able to taste Jin's wonderful dishes. One of the things that I love about his personality is that he's such a great listener. A superb shoulder to cry on. He almost always says the right words and gives the best advices. Aside from those I'm damn lucky to be his friend because I am the number one recipient of his smile. I just love his smile. So warm and heart melting. Just seeing it could brighten even my darkest of days.
By the way I've described him, I guess any girl would now think that Jin's this brawny hunk with a head filled with air. A guy who's all looks and no substance. But that's where Jin parts from all those airheads. Jin is one hell of a smart guy. He knows what he's doing. He has direction. He's he smartest guy I've ever met and he's probably the smartest in our batch. That's why being his best friend rocks. When I encounter a problem with any schoolwork, he's always there to help me. H's practically the reason I'm passing math.
Another cool thing about Jin is that he's hella strong. You should see his built underneath the clothes he wears. Dan, this is getting things inside my head. Anyway, sometimes even I find it hard training with him. It's just that he's so strong and it's so hard to keep up with him when all I've got is speed. But don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that I'm weak or anything. I may have a small frame and I may be a bit lacking in the height department but I am in no way weak. Jin said it himself, although he was reluctant to spar with me when I first met him. That actually ticked me off and now you wouldn't want to fight with a pissed Xiaoyu. I think that changed his opinion about my strength. Although we're not equal in strength and although I have hard time training with him, I still love doing it. Aside from the fact that I get to improve myself, I get to spend time with Jin.
Contrary to popular belief, Jin is actually loads of fun to be with. He enjoyed fighting games instead of RPG games, which I prefer. He also enjoys hanging out in the mall and stuff. I still remember the first time we actually went out for fun. First we chilled in the mall and played a couple of games in the entertainment center. After a while though, the mall got boring so I just persuaded Jin to go to this amusement park. It wasn't really that far anyway so getting there was no big deal. Upon arriving, we did the usual stuff people do. We played games, rode a couple of rides and before leaving, we decided to try out the Ferris wheel. It seemed like the best thing we did that day and it was wonderfully romantic sitting there with Jin and staring at al the lights. Everything was ruined though when the ride decided to get all crappy and stopped functioning well. To make things worse, we were on the top most part and the mechanics of the amusement ark suck so it took ages before we could get down. When we did get down, it was hella late. You could guess right, Heihachi almost had a fit when we crept in the mansion at around 1 in the morning.
But putting all the fun aside, we also get our serious and reflective moments. This is whenever we got out spot. See, Jin and I have this spot. We go there just to relax, to about things that are happening and fee our minds from all the stress we get from school. This special spot is actually where Jin and mother, Jun, used to live. It's this small shack in the middle of the forest near the lake. The view is just breathtaking and we love spending later afternoons there just to watch the sunset and the effect it has on the water. I'm glad that Jin actually trusts me enough to show me this place. It's really… touching.
Isn't my life grand? Don't you just want to trade places with me even for a day? I'm this ordinary Chinese girl who lives in this gigantic mansion. I don't have to pay for clothes, school and all my needs. To top that all off, I get good grades in school, people there like me and I've got a best friend whom everyone would die for. This is just like living in a fairy tale. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Bu fairy tales were not always perfect. My life is in no way perfect. Nothing could have prepared me for what had happened. See, all that time I spent with Jin actually had a consequence.
I fell for him.
I know, I know. That's a normal thing. That's no big deal. Tons of other teenagers experience this as well. But that doesn't help m solve the problem. I know that nothing is wrong with falling for your best friends, it's just that I get this nagging feeling in my head that it isn't right either.
Besides, how can anyone avoid falling for the guy? He's perfect. Practically everyone in the whole Mishima High loves him. Even though he's un-sociable and snobbish, everyone can't avoid it. There's just something about him, something so… perfect. People in school actually worship him. Guys copy him. Girls fawn all over him. He's an icon of perfection.
That is basically the reason why a number of girls are after my neck. They just hate my closeness to Jin. They hate the fact that he talks to me a lot. They hate the fact that he sits with me during lunch. Just the fact that he hangs around me is basically killing them. And I wouldn't blame them for hating me either. I'd probably be in their position as well of if some other girl were to be in my place.
Of course the fact that I've fallen for Jin is something I've kept to myself. Telling Jin my feelings would be suicide. I just can't risk our friendship. The teensiest mistake would ruin everything and that would just kill me. I wouldn't trade anything in the worlds for the friendship that I have with Jin. No freaking way.
I treasure the friendship that I have with Jin. I treasure it too much that I wont dare risk it. I'd gladly throw away these foolish feelings of mine if I could. But I can't and it's driving me crazy. I can't seem to get him off my mind. I know, best friends think about each other from time to time, but this is different. I don't think about him time to time. I think about him all the time. I keep on daydreaming even in class and when I daydream, it's him that I dream about. It's making me miserable and my grades are actually slipping down because of all this.
Sometimes, I just want to gamble and risk it all. Tell him how I feel. Spill. Get it all out of my system. But I'm a coward when it comes to Jin. I just don't know what I'll do if he rejects me. Although I know that getting this out of me would do me good, I fear that it would ruin everything if I tell him these feelings I harbor for him, he might reject me and if he does, everything would be really awkward. And just like that, the friendship is gone.
What's so bad with staying friends with him anyway? It's not like he ever had any interest in girls before. Surely, he'd tell me if he's suddenly developed something for a certain girl right? I mean, he's always told me his secrets and stuff.
No wait, scratch everything I said in the last paragraph. Actually, he had already developed something for a certain girl in school. Imagine the pain I felt when he confessed to me that he might actually be in love with this girl in school. It almost tore me apart. Just the thought of Jin with someone else is slowly driving me crazy. But that's not all. Something else made the situation worse. A lot worse.
What made things more complicated than it already was, was that Jin was in love with one of my closest friends. He's in love with the beautiful Julia Chang. She's this girl with long brown hair. She's smart as hell and has a figure to die for.
I just don't get what she has that I don't . She's nice, I'm nice. She's smart, I can be smart if I put my head into it. She's got a wonderful figure and I… I could work on that one. When I asked him what made him fall for her he just said that she has the most wonderful smile and that she's really kind, friendly and helpful to everyone. Sounds to be like she's a saint. Actually, recent conversations with Jin had been a teensy bit boring because all he'd talk about it Julia. He never knew he was hurting me.
What's depressing is that Julia was never really one to impress people. She never really did anything to impress Jin. All she ever does is wave to us when we pass her by the hallways. And yet, Jin's in love with her. While I, I'm always with Jin, I always talk to Jin, I take care of him, I'm there when he needs me, I know his secrets just like he knows mine. Why can't be love me? Why can't I be like Julia?
I don't know anymore. I've been so miserable since he told me. I can't get him and Julia off my mind. It's frustrating. It's annoying. Will Jin ask her out? What happens to me when they start dating? Julia's not stupid. I'm sure she'd accept him and when that happens, Jin would be spending more time with her than with me. And what happens to be then? I have to rebuild everything again. Make new friends. Doing that while getting rid of my feelings for him would be tough for sure.
But I can't really do anything about it. Discouraging Jin from asking her out would just be wrong. I couldn't possibly do that. It's just so depressing. I know I can never force Jin to love me more than he loves a friend. It makes me wonder how much he treasures our friendship. Is he still enjoying the time I spend with him? Or is that moment with Julia by the hallway the only thing he looks forward to everyday?
I carried this thought with me as I walked around the house. Maybe it is all he thinks about now. That one moment in the hall with Julia. We'd never be the same again. He'd never smile at me the same way, he'd be giving those to Julia and only Julia. Never again would I feel his hands snaking itself through my hair, then covering my eyes to surprise me like now.
Huh?
Darkness. Warmth. Calloused hands.
I playfully slapped his hands away from my eyes then turned around to face him.
"Hey Jinny. What's the big idea?" I smiled broadly at him and poked his chest. I almost melted when he smiled in amusement, after which he chuckled.
"You just looked so cute as you were walking around seemingly clueless as to where you're going. He smiled at me again and this time I had to turn around to hide the crimson that tinted my cheeks. Any more compliments from him and I'd be like a tomato. To cover up my redness, I pretended to be angry.
"Humph. Making fun of me again eh? You're such a bully. I don't think I can be friends with bullies. Sayonara Jin." I started walking away. S I was walking, fear suddenly struck me. What if he took that seriously? I stopped in my tracks and quickly whirled around, eyes wide and panicked.
Left. Right. He wasn't there.
Kusoo! I messed up. I totally messed up. I was about to go search for him when,
"Boo!"
"God! Jin! Don't scare me like that! I though you'd left!" Damn. He really did scare the hell out of me. I swear I'd die of shock one of these days.
"Hmm? I thought you already said goodbye to me? I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me as I decided to annoy you until you did. Successful huh?" He gave me a toothy grin and I couldn't help but smile as well.
"Alright already. You win this round. I'm not letting you go that easily next time though." I winked at him and pointed a finger at him. He chuckled lightly.
"I am terrified ms. Xiaoyu."
"Where have you been anyway? You look exhausted." Jin sighed as we started walking.
"Heihachi wanted to see me." That explains why he suddenly looked pissed. Heihachi would only mean bad news.
"What is it this time?" I looked at him awaiting what penalty he gave Jin for being his grandson.
"It's not really that big of a deal. He just told me I've been slacking off lately. He wants me to start training harder since the Kind of Iron Fist Tournament is just around the corner." What the hell is wrong with Heihachi? Jin has been doing nothing but tiring his pretty ass off during the practice. Why I ought to give that Heihachi a piece of my mind,
But that's not possible considering that I'm living here just because of him. I guess I'd just get it out on the closest relative.
"What! He really is retarded. What does he think you do in that training room for half the day? Sleep? You've been working your ass off more than anyone else in this house Jin. If anything you deserve a break." I felt so sorry for him. He had such a horrible grandfather. He always scolded Jin, always made him do things, always tried to make him perfect. It truly was too much. For some reason I earned another smile from him.
"Thanks mom for being so so concerned. But this is nothing Xiao. Don't fret about it, I'm used to it." This is what annoyed me more. He almost never retaliated! What wrong with him? He accepts all this crap from Heihachi as if it's perfectly fine. I know he's angry. He should just learn to express his thoughts more freely. I frowned at him.
"Aww. Come on now princess, don't give me that face." He poked me in the ribs. Once. Twice. And before I knew it, I was running for my life. Damn it! Why did I have to be so ticklish!
Our chase lasted for about 10 minutes before I tripped and he was able to catch up with me. I was lying on the ground and he had me between his legs with his knees supporting him. He had 2 fingers beside my ribs ready to tickle me once more.
"Ack! Quit it Jin. You weight a ton." No. He didn't weight a ton. I just really wanted him off. I'd be blushing like crazy again any time soon.
"Give me a smile first princess." I love it when he calls me princess. His own pet name for me. But for fun purposes, I gave him another pout.
This was certainly a really bad idea as he decided to start poking my ticklish spot again.
"-Gasp- Come on… hahaha… stop… haha… it!" He was seriously getting it afterwards.
"Just smile and I promise to stop." He paused for a moment waiting for my surrender. I put my tongue out.
"Never."
I earned a number of poked again and by the time he stopped, I was panting like crazy.
"Do you surrender?"
"Fine, fine Mr. All high and mighty." I gave him a toothy grin.
"Now that's the face more suitable for a princess." He slowly got off me, stood up and held out a hand for me.
"I don't think princesses are treated this way." I shot him a playful glare as I straightened my clothes.
"You get special treatment." He winked at me and I couldn't help but shake my head.
"Honestly Jin if I live her any longer, I'd die soon."
"Not if I can't help it. Look, sorry. I got over excited. You're just so fun to tease! You look so cute when you're angry. I'll treat you lunch to make up for it." I looked at him to check if he was serious. He seemed to be. I gave him a quick hug, smiled at him widely then started walking towards his room.
Surprisingly, the walk back to his room was really silent. None of us said a singly thing as we trooped to his room. Usually he'd be really talkative when around me but for some strange reason, he was really silent. I took a quick glance of his face and noticed that he had this really serious look. Jin probably has a lot of things in his mind as well. Maybe now's the time for me o consider the course of action I should take.
Is it time for me to confess to him? Maybe I should be honest with him and tell him how I feel. Maybe… now? No, probably later. Besides, God knows I can't keep all these bottled up for long. I'd pop from the pressure soon and popping would ruin everything. Popping might cause a misunderstanding of some sort. Trust me, misunderstandings are nasty. A pointless way to ruin a friendship. Anyway, keeping all this wouldn't be like me at all. Ling Xiaoyu does not keep things bottled up. Ling Xiaoyu is an honest, loving, sweet and fun to be with girl. I'm no shy and reserved girl. Carefree and honest.
Knowing this, I've made up my mind. I'm telling Jin today.
Tsuzukeru….:o:.:o:.:o:.:o:.:o:.
Authors Nonsense: I finally had time to edit this fic. I did a lot of changes. Made it way long. What used to be a 5 page (tnr, 12) chapter became a 6 page (verdana, 9) chapter. Heh. I just had to change it. I read the version posted in the net. I couldn't believe I wrote that. It made me so sad and it's only now that I got to edit it. Goodness, even the Authors Notes depressed me. Wait, actually, that's what depressed me the most.
Anyway, thoughts on my first fic? Good bad? As said in the previous authors notes, I am sorry if I do not portrait their personalities well in this fic. Jin is OOC here. I don't know for Xiaoyu but, I guess she's not that OOC. Review? Please:begs:
Before I forget, the plot is mine. Characters and Mishima high are not mine. Amusement park and mall are just random places. Heh.
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:czee: