Iceland ignored his watch. He had been standing there waiting like an idiot for an hour. It wasn't the first time Hong Kong did something like this. Worse, he had almost ditched him twice. And he always showed up with a splendid excuse.
"Hey-"
"Don't 'hey' me," Iceland glared at the Asian.
"Listen, Ice, I got caught up in work today and-"
"I don't want to listen," Iceland growled.
"Please."
"No. This is the last straw. I'm done with it. I don't want to hear any more of your excuses. It's always the same. Work. Work. Work. It's not even convincing anymore. I don't give a fuck what you've been doing but you were the one who called me out and went on standing me up. Have you any idea how I felt all this time? Probably not. Of course, work is more important than me. It's always your priority. Oh yea, and, why don't you just dine with your stock market? Sleep with your economy? Don't even bother coming to see me. I'm going back home. Bye."
"Wait, Ice!" Hong Kong clasped his boyfriend's wrist. "Like, I'm sorry. Really sorry. I didn't notice the time. I couldn't just leave when everyone was working overtime there. And my boss wouldn't, like, just let me off without any accomplishment."
"Yea, sure, go marry your job, would ya?" Iceland rolled his eyes and flung off the warm hand.
They had been dating for three years now and things just seemed to aggravate as time rolled on.
"Ice?" Hong Kong tilted his head and frowned. "Forgive me? It'll be my treat tonight. Like, we can go to your favourite cha chaan teng and try out that new menu. I can, like, arrange a firework show for you. We can also, like, go and buy you a stuffed puffin. We can, like-"
SMACK!
Iceland gasped and shuddered. His hands were balled into fists.
Hong Kong stumbled back. He couldn't even recall a single time they had fought with each other. Their relationship had always been rather monotonous and smooth; uneventful and tedious as someone would say. Surely, they would squabble sometimes but their occasional bickers never developed into fights.
"One excuse is enough. I don't need more. Why do you always think buying me stuff can compensate for everything? It doesn't solve the problem! Money can't fix anything! And you've got to know this, LEON WANG, I'm also a human being! I have feelings! I feel disappointed when I'm forgotten! I'm tired of this thing between us. We never should've started in the first place! We don't even match with each other. We should just…just…end this already. I'm exhausted."
"What?"
"I'm going home," Iceland turned and started to walk away.
"Ice, wait!" Hong Kong shouted. His hand trembled. "Please, I said I'm sorry. Like, what else do you want me to do?"
"Nothing! Just do nothing. Step back and don't ever find me again. We're done. Over. Okay?"
A long moment of silence followed as the Asian bit his bottom lip.
"No," Hong Kong shook his head.
"Let go," Iceland sighed and wiggled himself out of the other's grip. "It's never going to work between us. We should just remain friends, Leon."
Iceland ignored the tears under those unkempt bangs. He grunted and left.
"Ice!"
The silver-haired boy didn't stop. He never looked back.
oOo
"Emil?" Norway gasped as Iceland barged into the house with the bulky luggage.
"Iceland? What happened?" Finland was the first to inquire.
"Hey, I thought you aren't coming back until next week. What happens to your vacation in Hong Kong?" Denmark smirked.
"Emil?" Norway waved his hand in front of his brother. Iceland cried.
"Ice?" Denmark bounced up from the couch with a frown.
"What's the matter?" Finland asked.
"Is s'm'th'n' wr'ng?" Sweden chirped in.
But the young boy wouldn't budge. He just continued to sob in his brother's arms.
They didn't force the truth out of him that night, in spite of Denmark's immense curiosity. Finland helped unpack his baggage as Sweden prepared a hot bath for him. Norway lulled him to sleep afterwards, humming an old, comforting folk song. Iceland dozed off in serenity, but his tears wouldn't stop tainting his swollen cheeks.
It hurt a lot.
"Emil?" A knock came on the door the next morning. His brother, Norway, stood outside his room with a tray.
"Mind if I come in?"
Iceland shook his head and looked down at the ground. Norway slumped down on the bed and placed the tray on the nightstand.
"How are you feeling?"
Iceland didn't have the courage to answer "better", for he felt worse than ever.
"Did something happen between you two?"
Iceland reached out for the glass of milk.
"Well, if you don't want to talk about it, then-"
"What-" Iceland started to whimper, his eyes tracing back to Norway's pale, impassive face, "should I do?"
"Yes?"
"What do I do now, big brother?" Iceland whined, much to his brother's astonishment.
"Emil, what happened?"
And Iceland recalled everything, starting from how he practically lost his temper and ranted at his boyfriend, to how he had impulsively ended the relationship without even a decent farewell.
And when justifying his deed, Iceland cried, "I was angry. Very angry because it wasn't the first time he ditched me for work. It was him who invited me to stay over at his place but he…all he's ever done was working, working and working. We never have time for each other. It doesn't even look like we're dating…"
"I see," Norway only echoed with a nod.
"You know I will support every choice you make," Norway said. "But you'll have to ask yourself if this is the best solution. Isn't there something you two can sort out together? And I think I did warn you about dating him. I told you before this relationship wouldn't be as pretty as you wanted it to be. If everything's ever so smooth, there's no point in being together. You get what I mean?"
"So…it's my fault?"
"I'm not saying it's your entire fault, Emil. When you face a problem, you don't just evade it. You deal with it. You look into it. You think of what to do to resolve things. Unless you don't love him anymore, then it's fine, I guess."
"Ummm..."
"I don't think it's true though."
"I'm still mad at him."
"Uh. You've slapped him already. What more do you want?" Norway cocked his brows.
"Well…that was…" Iceland stuttered, "I didn't mean it! I was…extremely…extremely….angry…"
"Right. How do you suppose he felt?"
Iceland hushed and stared glumly at his lap. He couldn't just betray his feelings and lie at Norway. Indeed, he was fully conscious of how Hong Kong was feeling. He had seen that expression plastered all over his face and those tears threatening to stream down his cheeks.
"Do you hate him?"
Iceland shook his head.
"Do you still love him then?"
The youngster blushed and nodded.
"Well then, call him and apologise. Stop acting like a child. It's time you stop throwing a tantrum."
Iceland grabbed his phone and started dialing his lover's number.
He waited. But never would Hong Kong pick up the call.
It always ended the same. He got to his mailbox and nothing more. When the calls were rejected, Iceland began to text his boyfriend, flooding him with tons of messages and emoticons. The words were never read or seen. And most definitely, they remained unanswered.
A week passed. Iceland started to panic that Hong Kong was mad to a point of ignoring him.
"Why…just why won't you pick up the call?" Iceland grunted in despair as he held up his phone. He had been checking the screen every five minutes, praying so hard to receive just a single message from his beloved person.
Did he really go too far?
Probably.
Fortunately for him, a world meeting was approaching. Iceland hoped to bump into Hong Kong and seized the chance to sort things out with him.
Another week went by. Iceland attended the summit. Yet, what he didn't expect was that Hong Kong didn't go. China represented him instead.
Sure, he should have known. Hong Kong wasn't even a nation. He rarely showed up in mundane meetings. He usually appeared in some significant global summits.
He couldn't stop chasing after China once the meeting was adjourned. He didn't care if the ancient nation looked menacing. He had to know where Hong Kong was.
"Ch-China! Mr…Mr. China!" Iceland called out tremulously, following the group of Asians into the lounge. Everyone halted and studied him.
"Yes? You called me?" China blinked. Iceland heaved a sigh of relief.
"Y-Yes…I'm…I'm Iceland."
"I know aru." China nodded, "What is the matter?"
"I just…um…I'm just…er…wondering…" Iceland stammered, "Um…do you…er…know where Hong Kong is?"
China glanced at the small nation in awe. "Hong Kong?"
"Y-Yes…"
"He isn't here today."
"He doesn't always come to these pointless meetings da-ze!" Korea butted in, his curl bouncing up and down.
"He's very busy at work!" Taiwan smiled cordially at the foreigner.
"Aren't you his boyfriend?"
Everyone paused and turned to the bespectacled boy. Macau only shrugged and adjusted his glasses. "Emil Steilsson, correct?"
"Erm…" Iceland nodded sheepishly. His cheeks burned. He had only seen the man a couple of times, despite his being Hong Kong's closest brother and alter-ego.
"Aiya, so you're the one who's hurt my dear Jia Long!" China folded his arms. "And all this time I was wondering who that mysterious person he was dating could be! So it was you, Iceland!"
"E-Excuse me?"
"Iceland! Why did you hurt Leon?" Taiwan pouted and gripped Iceland's collar.
"C-Calm down, Mei-chan..." Japan pulled the girl back by the sleeve. "I think we should not jump to conclusions yet. Maybe Iceland-kun has something urgent to discuss with Kaoru-kun?"
"No way! He was the one who turned Leon emo again da-ze!" Korea pointed an accusing finger at Iceland. "You dumped him. You made him so sad that he wouldn't want to play video games with me anymore!"
"I'm…sorry," Iceland apologised with flushed cheeks.
"Aiya, youngsters these days…are so immature and troublesome. Whatever happened between you two, I need not be told. One question though, why are you here?"
"I want to see Hong Kong," Iceland said. "I…need to find him…"
"Why did you two fall out?" Taiwan asked.
"I…er…"
"And to think that I have warned him so many times not to tangle himself with love affairs. He's never listened to what I said. Iceland, there's something you need to know. Hong Kong isn't the expressive type. That kid…he's always been shutting himself inside his own realm. He doesn't know how to socialise normally. If he decides that he likes someone, it's got to be real. He's busy, alright, but you should at least demonstrate a bit of understandings."
"Wait, aniki, you seem to know what's happened between them!" Korea exclaimed and started tugging China's sleeve.
"I'm not criticising you or anything," China ignored his annoying brother and continued. "He's at fault too, but, if you truly care about him, try to understand him more."
"Yes, Hong Kong has always been a zealous worker. That's why I snatched him away from this old man here."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, OPIUM!" China yelped at the snickering British man at the door.
"Drinking tea?" England shrugged and took a sip of his Earl Grey calmly. "Or are you so old that you've turned blind?"
"That's it. We're taking this outside aru!"
The ancient nation lunged at the blond and the door slammed shut.
"Well, Mr. England's quite right." Taiwan said, "You should probably look it up on the internet. It's not di di's choice to be that occupied with work. He doesn't like his hectic life at all but he can't just leave his city and say 'screw this stuff. I'm gonna take a break!' We all have our responsibilities and duties to fulfill. You Westerners probably won't get it. We Asians are very industrious and detail-minded. I hope you understand Hong's dilemma and…I suppose he's never told you this…but he's obviously stressed."
"As far as I know, Kaoru-kan has always been dealing with anxiety disorder. He doesn't show it and only we as his family members know. He's very self-conscious and sensitive of it," Japan added.
"A-Anxiety disorder?"
"Simply put, he gets depressed whenever he can't finish his work." Macau explained, "And he's the type to set extremely high expectations for himself. He doesn't go for anything but perfection."
"And the last time he got dumped, he turned emo for a year da-ze!" Korea shrieked, "And it's all Taiwan's fault!"
"Stop it!" Taiwan scowled and smacked the Korean upside the head. The girl turned back to the Icelandic boy and sighed, "Well…that…I didn't know he would wallow in self-accusation after that…It just didn't work out between us. But…you're different. I think he loves you very much. You should probably go and find him. He really needs you right now."
"I know…thanks…thanks for everything..." Iceland bit his lips and left the lounge.
Iceland raced to the airport. He couldn't believe for the past three years, he hadn't even spared a single moment to search for information about his boyfriend. He hadn't even had the heart to understand and question Hong Kong's past. Hong Kong, in contrast, had been trying so hard to please him. He had bought him everything he could possibly afford. He had always been there whenever Iceland felt the need to vent his rage on someone. He had always been his punch-bag, his pressure reliever, his condolence. And yet, to the Asian, Iceland was only a pampered, egocentric partner.
"Leon!" Iceland yelled at the figure in front of him. He had flown to Hong Kong right after he exited the conference room. And standing in the airport was the Asian with his baggy luggage.
"Ice?" Hong Kong blinked and put down his rucksack into the trolley.
Iceland leapt forward and embraced the taller boy, taking in his tantalising aroma and warmth.
"B-But…why?" Hong Kong murmured and wrapped his arms around Iceland.
"Moron, why didn't you turn on your phone?" Iceland interrogated, his voice muffled by the Asian's jacket.
"You called me?" Hong Kong swallowed, "I, like, dropped the phone while chasing you. Couldn't find it. Probably lost it somewhere near Tsim Sha Tsui. Anyway, I'm, like, planning to fly to Iceland tonight. Why are you here?"
"Of course, I'm here. I came back to apologise!" Iceland cried and glared at his dense lover.
"Apologise?" Hong Kong raised his brows. "Like, why would you do that?"
"Because I said so many mean things and hurt you!" Iceland confessed, "You must be mad at me, right?"
"Mad?" Hong Kong shook his head. "No. I thought you were mad at me."
"Well, I was. But that's because I didn't understand you. I shouldn't have shouted at you knowing you were so busy with work and all."
"It's my bad. I was trying to finish everything before Christmas so that I could spend more time with you. But I got my schedule really messy and crammed…I couldn't handle the workload and kept having you wait for me on our date. It's, like, totally my fault, okay?"
"No, I shouldn't have said those things…to make you cry…"
"Ice," the Asian paused and lifted the other's chin with a smile, "it's, like, totally fine. I know you didn't mean what you said. Forgive me?"
"I should be the one asking for forgiveness, idiot," Iceland sobbed and kissed his partner.
"I have something to show you," Hong Kong grinned after they withdrew from each other.
He brought Iceland to the Peak. Situated on the hill was a gigantic mansion that looked more like a palace. Iceland was lost for words. He couldn't even imagine that something so enormous could fit in this overpopulated, small city.
"It's been a while, Ice. I've been meaning to show you this but the construction was only complete last week. I still need to get the interior furnished and decorated."
Hong Kong dragged the other boy towards their new home.
"What's this?"
"This is for you, Ice," Hong Kong chuckled and showed his boyfriend the gift he had painstakingly prepared. "Every time you came to visit, you always complained that my place was too small and the hotel service was crappy. So…I just think building a super deluxe palace for my Icey would make him happy. You know…my city isn't as big as yours…and land is really scarce here…It costs a fortune to make something this big. I know you hate me spending money instead of time with you but…I really, like, want you to feel comfortable whenever you come to visit. I really like you, Ice."
"How…much…how much did you spend on this?" Iceland gasped.
"Around 2 billions…" Hong Kong blushed and jammed his hands into his pockets. "Have been, like, working for extra hours to save some money. Really sorry I couldn't spend much time skyping with you. I'll be taking a full week off later though."
"Leon! That's…that's way too much! Why would you even bother to build this place for me! It's…It's…so expensive!"
"You don't like it?"
"No, that's not it…" Iceland shook his head. How could he not love it? The mansion looked like an Ice Castle! It was totally his thing! And they probably got to embrace the most spectacular, breath-taking view from there!
"Come," Hong Kong giggled and led the other boy into the mansion.
The interior looked just as extravagant as the outside. Almost all the furniture was there, accompanied with opulent decors and some classic paintings.
"Ice, I…" Hong Kong frowned. It was rare for him to stutter. Iceland couldn't take his eyes off the refined walls at all. He only twitched a little when the other boy squeezed his hand.
"I'm trying…"
"Huh?"
"I'm trying to change myself…" Hong Kong laced his fingers around the other boy's. "About what you said earlier…I…er…I don't really know how to present myself well…it's, like, very challenging for me…I know it's a problem but I'll try to fix that. So…don't, like, leave me because of it, okay? Don't dump me?"
"Leon, I won't leave you," Iceland said. Tears returned to his eyes. "I'm sorry…sorry for everything I've said against you…I love you. And I was jealous…really jealous…"
"Jealous? Why?"
"I've got land almost a hundred times larger than yours and yet…you've got a population twenty times larger…and your economy…it's almost thirty times greater than mine…You always work so hard…so hard for yourself and your people. And me…I'm just there, like a dumbo…I'm not as smart and talented as you. I'm so laid-back and bland compared to you. I don't know…I just feel…envious. You've got so many amazing skills and gorgeous people and…"
"Ice, Ice, look at me," Hong Kong whispered and cupped the other boy's cheeks. "You're beautiful. The most beautiful thing I've ever come across in my life. And you know why I work so hard?"
Hong Kong smiled, "It's because I feel inferior too. I'm just a city, a very, very small region. I'm not even a province. But you, Ice, you're a country, an actual nation. I never thought I could compare myself to you at all. We're totally on different levels. And others too…they never truly view me as a country. I'm just a subtle being. The only thing I could do is work harder and harder. It's my way to get recognised. And I want to be able to live up to your standard. I don't have much to offer. My land…it doesn't have a stunning nature like yours. It doesn't' have the Nordic light. It only has handmade fireworks on display. And it's polluted. It's overcrowded. It doesn't have many resources to start with. I've got, like, only an economy that is satisfactory. As for space…it is so limited there aren't even enough places for my people to live in. They almost have to spend their entire life working just to pay off the mortgage and rent. Even when they're rich, they aren't happy…We don't always have time for leisure…When we're feeling down, we just buy things to content ourselves. We confuse happiness with materialism. And that's why…it was my fault. I shouldn't have just bought you stuff and thought that you would forgive me. You want me but not the money. And I couldn't even give you my time. It's my wrong."
"No, don't say that," Iceland cooed. "I went to your family today. They told me everything."
"Oh," Hong Kong looked stunned at first but soon he relaxed. "Did they tell you about my…"
"You should've told me."
"It's not what you think," Hong Kong sighed. "They care too much about me so they tend to exaggerate my condition. I'm not insane. I mean, I'm not mentally ill or anything."
"I never said you were."
"I had that years ago but I'm perfectly fine now. See? I didn't even commit suicide when you went off like that."
"Leon!"
"I'm, like, just kidding." Hong Kong sniggered, "But thanks for caring."
"Are you sure you're fine? You aren't dealing with any stress, are you?"
"No, I'm happy. I used to be pretty much money- and success-oriented but after I met you, I've learnt to be satisfied with my life. You're the reason why I feel so free when I'm not. It's this feeling here that keeps me moving on."
The Asian smiled and clutched his lover's hand, guiding it towards his heart.
"But Taiwan and Japan said you-"
"Never mind what they said. I'm right here in front of you. Trust me, won't you? I'll be, like, happy as long as you stay with me. So will ya?"
"Of course, I will," Iceland replied almost instantly and leaned in to kiss the other boy.
"I, like, super love you, Ice."
"Same here. Love you too."
For a moment, Iceland felt another blossom in their maturing love.