Title: Share My Life
Genre: NCIS
Pairing: Tony and Ziva
Rating: T, not everything can be smut.
Timeline: 8X23
Spoilers: 8X23. I didn't quite swing a baseball bat at it... I only used the butcher's knife. (Picks up after the group hug – kinda…)
Summery: Tony finally realises what to do about Ziva… That is a lie! But that was supposed to be the storyline. It mutated. In response to the LJ challenge May 2011. Tag to 8x23.
Disclaimer: I only tied the strings, I promise. You know to whom the characters belong to.
Warning: This is deep, even for me.
A/N: I've never been one for song fics. Songs can, and often do, act as a trigger for a fic to my muse, but please take the time to read through the lyrics. The only reason I put all of them in is because it's a South African band, and the song, as far as I know, was never released worldwide. It's a stunning song (First on my list), and the South African readers will know it, and will also know that the day a guy plays or request this song… he's in deep.
This is the first time I've taken up a NCIS fic challenge, which was issued by Little Sammy on live journal. (Which has disrupted the final edit and compilation of "Love Bites", and the next chapter for "This Could Be Us." but the muse was begging to write this, so forgive her the delays.) The prompt I used… "Shoulder to shoulder in a race headed back to the start."
Written: May 2011
Word Count: 2 775 (excl lyrics)
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Share My Life by The Colesky Brothers
Share my life, be my friend, as from now until the end,
And I'll try, to comfort you, in every step you take.
For this love, could grow stronger, in a world where things go wrong,
But together, we can face what comes our way.
Share my life, 'cause I could never live without you, you're the one that I love, I am yours
It didn't take me very long to see that this was nothing but love, so let's share it, till the end.
Dusk will come, and nights will fall, but we will survive it all,
'cause we chose, the magic light, to be our only guide,
For this love, could grow stronger, in a world where things go wrong,
But together, completely we'll believe in what we have.
Share my life, 'cause I could never live without you, you're the one that I love, I am yours
It didn't take me very long to see that this was nothing but love, so let's share it, till the end.
(Sax solo)
Share my life, 'cause I could never live without you, you're the only one I love, I am yours
It didn't take me very long to see that this was nothing but love, so let's share it, till the end.
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The addition of Abby and McGee seemed as natural as breathing. Tony knew that at that moment Ziva needed to know that they were all there for her, and that they too needed to draw comfort from one another. At that moment it seemed that they all needed it, and Tony's strength, as much as she did. But, unbeknown to her though, she was the one to lend him that strength, that it was her belief in him and her support in the events leading up to that moment that made it possible for him to be there for them, when they needed him. That unlike the past, there was no need for the jokes to bolster team moral, and that he would be there for them to lean on, when needed.
Tim and Abby were also rocked by events, and all she could think of is that it could have been one of them. That it could have been one of the people that had become her family. The death of someone so close to that unit, someone who had had such a profound impact on their team, made her realize that they were not as untouchable as she would have liked to believe. She did not want to loose any of them. They were the only people she could trust. They were a family, her family. The situation with Ray had reaffirmed that. She knew that they would risk their lives for one another, that they would challenge and oppose one another, but that they were also willing to forgive, and they allowed for one to grow. Little as they liked outside intrusions, or persons outside their circle to gain entry, they allowed for discovery… and that when it mattered, and that whenever it was needed, you could lean on them and they would be there to catch you if, and when, you fall.
But what could she do when the reason for her fall this time, that the reason she needed comfort, the reason why she was hurting as much, was the mere threat that something could happen to one of them. That before this was over one of them could be harmed and taken away from her.
For the first time in her life she fully comprehended what her father had once fated her to being. That at a time, she too was a mindless killer, taking loved ones from their friends and families, without a backward glance or thought for the turmoil she left in her wake. That once someone could have thought of her as a monster, much like she now thought of this man. Years ago she would have marvelled at his ability to remain allusive even whilst being as provoking. But on the other side, the side that has since had to live with the consequences of a monsters decisions, their actions… She abhorred him, hated the fact that she could have possibly even turned out like him. She took some comfort in the knowledge that the targets she had taken out, were people intent on hurting humanity, people who would have harmed others had she not done it. That she had done it for the right reasons, but she knew that was easy to become distorted, all to easy to turn, to become like him, like Ari…
They were all under threat, by a rouge killer, one like Ari, who had taken matters into his own hands. Hurting innocent bystanders, in the hope of settling a score. A score he seemed determined to settle with the people that she had come to love.
Her instinct was to seek him out, to trace him and take him out. To think like the killer he was, to figure out how he was reasoning, but she had for so long now had to think like an investigator, to follow the clues to where they lead, and what she had managed to assess from his actions had gotten her concerned. It was her concern for those around her that had started to override her judgement.
He had struck close to both Tony and Gibbs, they were warnings, this she knew. She didn't like the thought that they were his likely next targets. Up until then she had considered them safe. Even when Tony's previous partner had been targeted, she had not been as concerned. It had not been someone close to their unit. But Tony had been forewarned, the eyeball that he'd been sent meant that the monster was tracking them, toying with them. She was not to let him out of her sight, but first she needed to get herself together. She knew the bastard would strike close again, and that this time it could possibly be Tony or Gibbs. And the loss of either of them would be her end.
Her need to protect those she loves had in the past been her weakness. She could not help the frustration and aggression she felt towards EJ. The woman should have traced the man by now. If Gibbs had been in charge he would have stopped him. Gibbs had always protected them, but the bastard had struck too close to home, rendering him afloat having lost someone who was so meaningful to him and his team. Franks was their grandfather, the one who'd guided Gibbs, helped to make him the man he was now.
The past few weeks' events had just become too much for her. Too much had happened in too short a period. Ray and his deception… The loss of Tony's previous partner had hit not only him but her as well. He had shown her how Tony could have turned out, had he been in any way lacking in morals. Then there had been Tony and EJ, and the chance that she would take him from her, he was changing for the woman and she did not like that at all. He seemed content in some way with her, she somehow managed to level him out… and for that she would respect the other woman's presence in Tony's life. She'd always known that deep down she would never approve of any partner for Tony. There was no woman worthy of him in her eyes.
The thought of loosing Tony to EJ was noting compared to the thought of loosing him permanently. With Kort about she couldn't help but remember the time they'd thought Tony was dead. The thought that it could happen to him, that he or Gibbs could have been killed, might even be the monster's next target. What was she to do if either of them was next?
She had hoped to right things by helping them bring these people to book. Thought she had done the right thing after Somalia, that it had been her punishment for once again wanting to be a cold-blooded murderer, that which her father had wanted her to be, for having doubted them, him… To her it had been her second chance, one they'd given her so easily, and it meant everything to her. All she had asked for in return was to be with the people she loved, those whom she could trust, intimately, but right then they were all possible targets, and the thought of loosing any of them was not something she felt could live with.
When they pulled apart Ziva looked at everyone then stepped past Abby and McGee, exiting the elevator. Everyone seemed to need Tony at that moment, even her, but she'd had no idea on how to approach him, she did not want to be a burden on him with her thoughts, because once again their team was shaken, its keystone, Gibbs, was again afloat. This left Tony to deal with pulling and keeping them together.
Tony followed Ziva into the squad room, allowing for McGee and Abby to take the elevator to their destination. Grabbing his bag he looked at her, noted her look of distress.
"Come on I'll take you home." Tony offered.
"But we…" Ziva started, not wanting to let him out of her sight.
"Gibbs will call if we're needed, you need some R and R." Tony returned, intent on seeing her home and making sure that she was okay, he was not leaving her to cope with things on her own. It was rare that Ziva needed him for support, and this time he was going to be there for her, they way she'd always been there for him.
"And you?" She asked wanting to know his plans.
"Your couch will do." Tony threw back at her, inviting himself over, and letting her know that he'll be there, if and when she needed to talk.
Ziva grabbed her backpack and followed him wordlessly out of the building, her heart feeling a little less troubled by the thought of him remaining with her for the rest of the night.
They drove in silence and Tony followed her to her apartment, once inside he dropped his bag next to her couch as he watched as she moved into the kitchen
"No coffee or you won't sleep." He called from the lounge, trying to lift her spirits.
"I was making us some tea." Her reply came from the kitchen.
"Oh I'll pass on that." Tony returned, thinking he needed a stiff shot rather than a cup of herbal tea.
"Hot chocolate then?" She was quick to question
"I could go with that." Tony returned, thinking that something sweet might improve his mood slightly.
Ziva remained quiet and after a while he went looking for her, only to find the staring at the cups in front of her, seeming lost in her thoughts again. Reaching for her one shoulder, he tugged at it to turn her towards him. Her eyes told him what she was going through, he saw the things she'd never allowed anyone else to see. He'd in the past told her that her eyes won't shut up, but then it'd been noting compared to the begging they were doing on her behalf, and for the first time he did not back out. Instinct guided them and their embrace was as natural as if they had been doing it for years, only this time it had a clinging urgency to it, both needing not only the comfort but also conformation that the other would somehow be okay.
To Ziva he was there, offering much needed comfort. She was incapable of containing her emotions, unable to keep them behind the barrier that was supposed to protect her, to keep others at a distance…
"Come leave the drinks. Go and get ready for bed." Tony murmured as they drew slightly apart some time later.
"Sleep with me." Ziva whispered.
Tony frowned at her request. "That's not a good idea." He finally whispered.
"The couch is not large enough for you anyway." Ziva returned, knowing she was unlikely to sleep unless he was close.
Tony wanted to kick himself for having jumped to conclusions, "Do you still snore?" Tony asked, hoping to lighten the mood a bit, wanting to put their physical level back to where they both in the past been comfortable with.
"Tony." Ziva returned, her tone incredulous, wondering how something so trivial could concern him.
"I was just wondering how much sleep I'd be getting." He retuned, hugging her closer, momentarily, before letting her go
"More than you would have at the office." Ziva returned, but her heart was not in it and Tony heard it.
"Come on, let's get to bed then." Tony stated, taking her by her shoulders and turning her around, pushing her in the direction of her bedroom before following her.
Tony watched her slip into bed, shrugging off his outer clothes he dropped his phone on the nightstand before slipping into bed next to her, pulling her closer, ensuring that their bodies touched, that she would know he was there and that he had her back, literally.
She had cried silent tears most of the way home, he couldn't get her to talk about it, but she let him hold her as he felt the slight tremors run through her body.
They'd spent many evenings together, even the nights they'd shared a bed had not come close to what was happening between them. It felt natural for him to hold her like this, hugging her closer he snuggled into her neck, sleep would be elusive but they needed the rest.
After a while her body stopped trembling and settled, her breathing evened out slightly. Thinking she'd fallen asleep he pulled away rolling onto his back, he'd barely landed on his back before she flipped, over clutching his shirt half crawling onto him. Wrapping his arm around her his other hand stoked the arm of the hand that was clutching his shirt. He'd known it was a bad idea to touch her, knew he would not be able to let go of her if he ever allowed it, but she did not need his attentions tonight she needed his comfort, she needed to know that no matter what happened he would be there was there for her. Straightening he sheets slightly before pulling them up more, his arms wrapped around her, then he played with her hair that she at some stage had let down.
"Sleep Ziva, I've got you." He whispered against her forehead.
Ziva took a deep breath, breathing in his scent before closing her eyes and schooling her body to relax. She drew comfort from the steady sound of his heartbeat as it lulled her senses.
The call came to Gibbs to back up EJ's team, they were the team tasked as her backup. But he knew his team was in no condition to go back into the field. Vance had been aware of that, but they were the main response team, and they had a job that needed to be done. Stepping into the bullpen none of his team members were present, He knew Tony would be with Ziva, he had told him to see to her. Stepping through the bullpen he mad for Abby's lab, thinking it most likely that the lot of them would be there. Entering the lab he found only McGee and Abby.
"Where's DiNozzo and Ziva?" he asked on entering.
"Tony took Ziva home." Abby spoke up in response, noting Gibbs's concerned behaviour.
"Is she okay?" Gibbs was quick to ask.
"I don't know, she's Ziva." Abby returned as some means of an explanation.
"Gear up." Gibbs commanded to McGee, "Barrett's team has been compromised," Gibbs added as a reason for the command, whilst reaching for his phone. Hitting the speed dial he hoped that they would manage to get through the evening, without more casualties.
The lighting of the phone served as a warning of an incoming call. He moved to answer it, hoping to catch it before it disturbed Ziva. But his moments had her clutching him in seconds. Before she heard the ringing.
"Yes boss." Tony answered after having checked the caller ID.
"I'm on my way," Tony returned moving to sit up. Ziva also moved, turning to get out of bed. "I'll meet you there." Tony finished before closing his phone and turning to Ziva.
"Where are you going?" Tony demanded.
"We've been called out." Ziva stated walking over to her closet.
"I've been called out you're to stay here."
"I'm coming." Ziva stated then started to pull on her clothes.
"Zee you need to get some rest." Tone spoke up getting out of her bed.
"And you don't… the way I see it the more of us there are the sooner we'll get done, so let's go." Ziva returned already pulling her hair back.
Together, shoulder to shoulder in a race headed back to the start, they arrived at the crime scene, met by ambulances and flashing lights. Gibbs and McGee were already on the scene questioning those involved as Tony prepared himself for the inevitable confrontation with EJ, and as to why he and Ziva were last to the scene. Gibbs looked them over, his eyes momentarily resting on Ziva before returning to Tony. "Agent Barrett abandoned her team to pursue the suspect, leaving her injured men vulnerable." Gibbs spoke up
Tony just looked at the scene, shaking his head at EJ's behaviour. He knew that on their team they would never abandon the injured member, Ziva was living proof of that.
Ziva looked the men over as they were being loaded, keeping Tony in sight at all times, watching his reactions, unable to believe the other woman's actions.