Pairing: L/Light, Matt/Mello, Near/you'll see ;)

Rating: T

Warning: Future (mild) yaoi, OOC Light and some language

Summery: Light wants to get away from the wasps, L wants to find his tarts, Mello wants to be number one, Matt wants to jump Mello and Near wants to be left in peace. Yeah, as if that could ever happen....

A/N: Finally, a story that isn't a one shot! I just think I should warn you: The plot will take some time to develop, since I want to focus on the humor.

Oh, and the heights thing is for the future, not some random thing I decided to just put in there for no reason!

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note!

-

Light was not scared of much. Darkness, he could handle. Big mobs of violent people, easy! Gore, blood and horror movies, bring it on! The list was almost endless, but there where three exceptions, three things that scared him silly.

The first were guns. They hadn't been a problem up until a few weeks ago when he thought his dad was going to put a bullet in his head. No one could really blame, either.

The second thing he despised were heights. They made his stomach turn, he'd feel uneasy and he'd want to get down, preferably without falling. This fear was also newly discovered. Apparently, looking out of his and L's bedroom window did that to you. Who knew why the man wanted to sleep on the sixteenth floor?

And finally, the third thing Light Yagami couldn't handle, were wasps. You know, those big, yellow-striped monsters with wings and vicious needles! He wasn't even sure why he hated them so much, but now wasn't really a great time to ponder...

...since he was staring one straight in the eye.

He remained frozen in place, not wanting to tell L about the monster. Who knew, maybe L would figure out a way to somehow raise his Kira percentages.

Okay, so he didn't want L to know about his fear of wasps, big deal!

Sepia eyes studied the creature as it buzzed across the room, circling Lights baguette. The boy cautiously stretched his hand forward, ready to save his lunch, but pulled it back when the insect made an angry noise. The beast made a move towards the teen, causing him to flinch back so violently that he fell of the chair. Of course, since L has cuffed to his wrist, he two was yanked out of his seat.

Light remained on the ground for a few moments, trying to ignore the stare he was receiving from L.

Light could feel the heat rising to his face already. This was so humiliating! He had lost control of his actions for one second, one second. How could he come up with a plausible reason to falling out of his chair. He'd have to think. Think, think, think...

Easier said then done.

He coughed and got up from the floor, straightening his already crease-free shirt in the process.

"Erhm... I'm sorry about that, Ryuzaki. I must have put to much weight on the back of the chair or something." Light mumbled.

"Your eye is twitching, which is a sign of lying, Light-kun. That leads me to believe that you fell out of the chair for other reasons. Could that insect have something to do with it?" The detective pointed a pale finger towards the buzzing beast and Light bit his lip.

Damn it!

He couldn't lie again, L would probably see through it. Maybe there was another way out. Maybe...

"It surprised me, thats all. Buzzing in my face and all." Light stated calmly. So calmly that L would have in fact believed him, if the wasp hadn't made another move towards the teen. Light took a step back, almost stumbling on his own feet.

He chuckled nervously at this, his eyes darting from the bloodthirsty beast and back to L, not really sure what to do. It was becoming apparent that he would have to do something If he didn't want to get stung by the insect.

"I think we should get back to the main office," Light finally tried, "Or we'll be late."

"But Light-kun has yet to finish his food."

"Light-kun isn't hungry" the teen said, mocking the detectives speech. The older man raised a non-existent eyebrow and sighed.

"The fact that you decided that you no longer required any more substance the moment you set eyes on a wasp, leads me to believe that you suffer from a fear of wasps, Light-kun." L said in his usual monotone.

Light stared at him.

".... ….Wow, you couldn't just ask 'hey, Light, are you afraid of wasps'?" he muttered, trying to distract L from his flushing face. Why did he have to blush now? Why wasn't his body functioning normally today?

L continued. "The fact that Light-kun has yet to deny it confirms my theories."

Light was just about to say that L was being absolutely ridiculous, but the wasp decided to re-appear, right on Lights nose.

"Aaagh!"

"Taking the screams into consideration, I would like to conclude–"

"Ryuzaki, shut up and kill the wasp!"

"Up 2,4 percent for homicidal intent."

The thing was circling him now, probably getting ready to go in for the kill. Letting what little pride that remained go, Light let out another shriek and shuffled over to hide behind the detectives back.

"Ryuzaki, I don't care about the percentages, kill it!" he hissed from behind the denim-clad legs.

Light watched as L shrugged and moved over to the table, grabbing hold of Lights baguette.

What the...?

"What are you doing?" Light asked carefully, but received no reply. Instead, L just stood there, watching as the bug buzzed about in the room, his usual calculating gaze in place.

Without warning, L suddenly lunged forward, armed a half-eaten baguette, and precoded to deliver a powerful blow to the wasp.

Light watched in utter shock as one of the most respectable men in the planet continued to hit the wasp over and over again, until all that remained of the bug was a mush of red and yellow slime.

Light gaped.

"I think you will find that it is dead." stated L, sounding almost bored.

"... ..." Light continued to stare, mouth wide open.

"Light-kun's impression of a fly trap is impeccable." observed L absently.

"I... can't b...believe you just did that!" Light finally managed, cringing slightly when he realized that he was stuttering. "And with my lunch!" he added, suddenly realizing that his food was now inedible.

"You didn't specify what weapon I should use."

"But I was eating that!"

"Light-kun, you were crawling across the floor, trying to run away from a bug. I would also like to add that you stated that you were no longer hungry."

Light decided to drop it and instead tried to regain his composure. How could he loose it like that? In front of L of all people? Because of an insect that was planning to kill him. Or not... whatever. That wasn't the point!

The teen flipped his auburn locks out of his eyes and started towards the main investigation room, intending to forget the hole incident, but was stopped by a soft yank from the chain.

"What?" He hissed, thoroughly annoyed.

L looked at him with large, empty eyes, but a small smile played on his lips as he spoke.

"Light-kun, I wasn't joking about the percentages. We better hope no one asks why they are higher now then they where five minutes ago."

Light punched L square in the face.

They never spoke of the incident again.

-

Please review^^