A/N: Okay this is going to be a series of one shots based of songs I hear that make me think of certain characters. This one is about Fred and George. George is the one with underlined words, Fred has the plain words. I hope you enjoy so please review!
Fred and George: All Star-Smash Mouth
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
The best advice we can give is to leave school with a bang, I mean, you only go once, right?
Right Gred. You only go once, might as well make the others remember it.
Seventh year started like any of our others did-
Yeah, weird.
Precisely, Forge. Ever since our third year when Harry entered our lives things just became crazy.
Guess it comes with having Wonder Boy as an honorary Weasley, huh?
Yeah, but as I was saying, it's all his fault all of this happened. We were perfect angels before him.
(Not)
Okay, maybe not perfect, but not as bad.
(No comment)
Right, back to the story… what was I even saying?
Seventh Year, Fred. You've got to go out with a bang.
Right, thanks, George. Okay, you've got to go all out in your senior year. Nothing is sacred and anything is allowed. It really helps if you've got a crazy a** teacher you can prank the living day lights out of too.
Or a git brother. Or a prefect. You know, anyone will work really.
Anyway, buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life, just remember to keep you hands and wands inside the ride at all times.
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
It really all started the first day. We had actually planned on studying. We wanted to make up for the fact that we had only earned three OWLS to mum.
That's our story anyway, just incase anyone asks.
Yeah, we really only go to school to perfect our pranks.
Yeah, you don't think we got to learn do you?
Anyway, we couldn't keep up our promise not to do any pranks. Not when we saw Umbridge at the front table. The fact that she looked like a toad was just a bonus.
Who could resist pranking her? She was way to neat and into order and rules. She practically begged to be pranked. A beg we were more than happy to help with. We started off small, you know just to test the water.
You never want to do your big pranks either, you want to save the best for last.
Totally, always save the best for the end. You want their last impression of you to be the one that will blow them away. So we started off with a few small things, like canary creams.
Yeah, it also didn't help that Hermione was always on our cases.
Until the end anyway. Now she's on our tail in another way. *winks* anyway. We kept things pretty mild until she started the punishments.
I was the first to get it done. Harry had been punished but he so kindly kept that information to himself. So we got caught in a prank and it was my turn to take the blame. She took me to her office, which was creepy by itself with all those cats on the wall-
Made me want to go get Fluffy and show him a good time.
Yeah! So I sat down and started writing with that quill 'I must not cause trouble'. I realized what it did after the I, so I changed the words.
If she's going to make us scar ourselves it might as well be something we're going to want on our skin, right?
I changed the words to 'I will cause trouble.'
She didn't like that too much.
Nope, her face turned this really funny purple and she started spluttering. She didn't realize that was nothing compared to what was coming her way.
Yep, our rebellion had barely even started.
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Our first really big rebellion was opening up our shop in the common room. She had no idea what we were doing, but she was getting furious at all of our products finding their way around the school.
She started trying to frisk kids in the corridors, but her precious 'Decrees' wouldn't let her touch us. We were all getting far to smart for her.
The fungus under Ron's bed was too smart for her. Pulling the wool over her eyes was a breeze. Almost no fun.
Key word there being 'Almost.'
So, we opened the shop and started selling and testing our products. She didn't know it was us, but she suspected.
The really cool thing was Hermione. Once she found out what Umbridge was doing to the kids that got punished she stopped turning us in.
Yeah, that was hot. I'd never seen her break a rule before.
Focus, Freddie.
Right. That was our first rebellion, but not our last by any means. We started the second almost immediately after that.
We weren't alone either, almost half the school joined the next.
Yeah, we had thirty kids in the DA. We met in the Hogshead the first time.
That was a bad idea, not exactly good cliental go there. We should have gone to the Broomstick or just met outside somewhere. Pretty much anywhere would have been better.
Not that anyone asked us. For some reason no one really thinks we're all that smart. They don't realize the brains it takes to pull our pranks off.
Yeah, you'd think they'd come to us first if they were doing something illegal
You would, Georgie, you would.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
Patience is another must as well.
Right, never, ever, underestimate the importance of timing. One third of the success off your prank will depend on it.
After we all returned from Christmas Break things had gotten a lot worse. Like by at least ten fold.
Which is how much the Decrees had increased by as well.
Stupid things, no one actually followed them. Not even the Ravenclaws and they practically live for rules.
Bunch of kiss ups the whole lot of them.
We started to doing at least one prank a week, usually one a day. Nothing big, that wouldn't start for quite a while longer. Most of the pranks we did were to target something specific.
Yeah, we started doing one for each of her stupid decrees. That kept up busy for quite a while. There was a new one that would be posted almost every day.
Some times two or three. My favorite one we did was enchanting all the books to start blaring music any time you opened them. That drove Madame Pince up the wall, but it made Hermione laugh.
She even let it slide. She just wore ear plugs anytime she wanted to read. That was funny.
Drove Harry and Ron crazy too. They couldn't ever get her attention.
Yeah, that was probably the only downside to that whole prank. My personal favorite was the one with the 'proper dress and decorum.' She never could figure out how we made her jacket and shoes to keep flying off.
Yeah, watching her kitties collars flying around was pretty funny as well.
Yeah, how many of those plates ended up cracking?
Twenty of the fifty.
Awesome.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
She crossed the line when she banned Harry and us from Quidditch.
Yeah, little tip for you guys out there. Never, ever, ever, tick off the braniacs or pranksters. Both are more than capable of getting you back, and neither one you'll ever see coming.
Remember that. So after the ban we decided to pay her back with a special little prank. (by that I mean big, nasty, funny, cruel, untraceable, pranks.)
It started with giving Peeves a paintball gun and locking him in her office.
That was wicked awesome, and I do mean wicked. Our next step was talking in different accents in her class, and switiching them each time we talked.
That was funny, she hates accents and after a moment everyone was doing it. She couldn't get on to us either, it wasn't against any of her 'Decrees.'
After that we stuck ten bludgers in her office.
We cracked all the plates that time. The bludger prank gave us another idea, a brilliant one if I do say so myself. The next night at supper we charmed all the peas with the same spell used on bludgers. They were pelting everyone through the whole meal, it was hilarious!
Priceless, we filled her bed with peas too. It was inspired by a muggle fairy tale Hermione told us.
Some memories are just priceless.
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
She not only crossed the line when she took over Dumbledore's spot, but she danced on it-
Have you ever seen her dance? It's terrifying and unnatural. Are you supposed to flail around like that when you move? I don't think so. *Shudders*
At that moment we declared our last Hogwarts prank war. But man oh man did we go out with a bang.
Littarally, over a thousand and eight hundred of them.
Our first form of revenge was our favorite invention, Fireworks. Whizbangs to be precise.
That was really brilliant. We set them off outside the main hall and then high tailed it out of there. They exploded and went everywhere.
Yeah, I didn't even think they'd go that far. It was really neat when they started merging.
Helped with the sales to, We even had Hermione offer to help us refill our stock of them.
Yeah, my favorite part was the teachers. Everyone of them got into it. Filch had Umbridge come to our class six times. He even asked if we had any extras we could leave with him.
McGonagall even 'forgot' to send mum and dad Umbridge's umm, disapproval *cough howler cough* letter. She didn't give us any detentions, she even winked at us once during class.
One of our finest hours. If you get your teachers laughing at your pranks you know you've done a good job.
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
Still, our best prank was the last one. I mean, how couldn't it be? We went all out.
Yeah, like we said before, go out with a bang.
We were working on the swamp for two months before we got it perfect. We would have don't it anyway, but Harry allowed us to do some good while we did it.
Yeah, how could we not give him one last bit of help before we left? We'd already decided that we were leaving after the prank. It was too big not to get caught, we didn't want to face whatever her punishment was so we decided to just get the hell out of Hogwarts.
We'd already gotten the location for the shop anyway. We even had our products all set up.
So, on April twentieth at three pm we set the swamp out.
It was awesome, indescribable. It came off perfectly, we even caught twelve Slytherins in it.
Again, priceless.
Sadly, the Inquisitorial squad caught us.
That's what they thought anyway. We were standing in Smarmy's waiting for them. Not really much of a chase, huh?
They were all Slytherin's though, not exactly the brightest bunch.
True that. So we let them catch us and Umbridge came, boy was she pissed.
She got Filch to get some wips-
As if that was going to happen-
And we told her goodbye-
We got our wands out-
The wooden kind of course-
And summoned our brooms-
We hopped on them and flew for the doors-
We stopped at the last moment and told Peeves to give her hell for us-
And then we left with one last firework to remember us by-
As if they would have had any trouble.
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
So, remember, go out with a bang, start small, have patience, and go all out in the end. Senior year is all about having fun. You're not coming back so go out with a bang, make it fun. But most importantly remember-
What happens at Hogwarts stays at Hogwarts.
We solemnly swear we are never up to any good
-Fred and George.