(A/N) A lil parody that came to mind after I watched the latest trailer for Voyage of the Damned. Enjoy
Music starts. The Doctor is walking towards the camera.
"I'm the Doctor, I'm a Time Lord. I'm 903 years old and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?"
Screen starts to fade to black when the camera suddenly arrives in the dining room, where the audience are staring up at the screen.
"Well, actually, yes." A woman stands in the crowd. "Since when were you nine hundred and three years old?"
Another figure stands. "Yeah! Your sixth incarnation said you were 900 over twenty years ago! You gone completely nuts or something?"
"Either that or he's tryin' to look young! Probably thought when he hit the 930 mark he'd start goin' backwards!"
The audience shouts in agreement. "YEAH!"
The Doctor stared at them, his eyes wide with shock. "What?"
"You can't lie to us mate! We've been followin' you since 1963!"
"So you can't be nine hundred and three! Or you've just had the most eventful three years of your life – which we doubt!"
"And even though we had a break from you from 1989 to 2005 we still know our maths!"
"What?"
"See! We ain't as stupid as you thought!"
"Yeah!"
"YEAH!"
"AND along with all the specials and books and stuff you've been getting up to behind our backs you're bound to be what, nearly a thousand?"
"Nearly a-? Ok!" The Doctor said, "Ok, I admit… I may have lost count…"
"Lost count? Who's leg are you tryin' to pull?!"
"All right. Lets try it again." He composes himself.
Music starts. The Doctor is walking towards the camera.
"I'm the Doctor, I'm a Time Lord. I'm 945 years old and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?"
Screen fades to black.Small 'phew!' is heard in the background.
(A/N) I have no idea what the Doctor's actual age is but it isn't 903!!