Summary: Sam arrives too late.
Rating: Teen.
Pairing: Sam and Jack.
Sam had arrived too late; everything for them had come too late in their lives. Their love had taken so long to admit too, they had taken too long to finally be together, and now it was all too late. He was dead, her love, her soul, her heart had finally past on to the next world leaving her to grieve alone. Daniel and Teal'c were with her, but they would be little comfort on the lonely nights with out her Jack to warm her. He was finally gone and she was alone.
"Sam, he…" Daniel tried
Sam shook her head and tried to keep her tears from falling. Her heart was in tatters as her lover, her love, lay in the morgue at the SGC. If it wasn't for her position she would fall to the floor and beat her fist again the concrete and beg whatever god would listen to give him back. Just give him back to her so she wouldn't hurt so much, so her heart would be shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. She could feel her body shaking, her heart shattering even more, and her tears massing more and more in her eyes. Against her minds orders sobs tore from her mouth and tears cascaded down her eyes.
Sam stepped along side the table where Jack was, leaning over she kissed him for the last time. His lips were cold but his taste lingered. He was truly gone from her and she had been too late, always too late. As many times as they had been in the field, faced danger, been captured. Time was what tore them apart now. The time between their ages, time between being separated in command structures, and now her time before death would take her.
She would have collapsed boneless to the floor had it not been for Teal'c lending her his strength as she took her time to say goodbye. Sam didn't want to tell him goodbye, she wanted him to wake up and take her home. If anything in that moment would have made him live again Sam would have traded her soul to make it happen. Teal'c wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She buried her face in the cook of his neck and let her sobs out and her tears fall. Sam felt Daniel step close and rest his hand on her back. They all had lost a great friend and commanding officer, but Sam was the only one to loser a lover, her soul mate, and her husband.
LATER THAT NIGHT:
The cabin in Minnesota was quiet, all except for the muffled sobs that were coming from the bedroom. Sam lay curled in the center of the bed, their bed, the bed where they had made love not three days before. That was before she was due back on the HAMMOND. Sam had shared the bed with Jack, reveled in the way he made lazy love to her body and further entrenched himself in her heart. And now he was dead. He was dead and she couldn't move past it. Sam felt dead inside herself, cold and alone. Jack had never told her he was sick, if she had known she would have stayed, said a proper goodbye, but now she was cheated out of that one single act of closure. Jack had cheated her, but he had remained strong up until the end. That was how she would remember him, strong and alive.
"Sam?"
She heard his voice, she had heard his voice all day, and it would continue to torment her. Her body felt him, but he was not there. Her heart wanted to believe that it was all a horrible mistake, but her mind knew and her eyes had seen his cold, lifeless body in the morgue. He was really gone and she was alone and yet she still heard his voice.
"Sam are you gonna turn around?"
"You're not really here." Sam choked out. Her body shaking harder with renewed sorrow and pain.
Sam wanted to believe so much that Jack was with her. She felt the mattress shift, his body mold to her back, and his arms gather her close. He felt so real, so warm, so alive, and yet she knew he was dead. Her mind was playing tricks on her; Jack was dead and in the morgue. She didn't want to feel him again, and all she wanted was to have him back. Sam could feel his strong heart beating against her back. Shaking her head Sam tried to make him go away, but he was still there, curled around her and nuzzling her neck in comfort.
"Sam, turn around."
"No…"
"Please?"
"No, you're not here, you're not really here." Sam cried harder and his arms wrapped around her tighter. She finally gave in and turned in his arms, burying her face in his chest and allowed more tears to fall. Her grief made her exhausted and for the last time Sam fell asleep in Jack's arms.
MORNING:
Sam woke, knowing that she would not find Jack, but what she found was a note in his handwriting. It had not been there when she had gotten home, but her eyes had been bleary with tears she may not have noticed it. Reaching out Sam took the envelope and held it close, she could smell Jack. Sam steeled herself as she opened the envelope to remove the note her Jack had written:
Sam
You know I'm not into long winded goodbyes so here it is. I love you. I don't know if I told you but in case I didn't; I love you. Don't cry, be strong, and live until you can't live anymore.
Jack.
That was her colonel; short and to the point. Sam couldn't help but smile. The note was so Jack and she loved him even more for that. She knew that in time she would be able to remember him without crying but not today, not tomorrow, and not in a few years. Jack O'Neill had touched a part of her soul, a part of her heart, and a part of her body in a certain way that no one else could ever duplicate. Jack had been her one and only. There would never be anyone else for her and now that Sam had come to terms with that she could get out of bed, get a shower, and make arrangements. Heart heavy and soul crying Sam shored her emotional defenses and made it through her day. One day she and Jack would be together again, but to day was not that day. So she had to be the strong soldier that she used to be in the field.
