Author's Note: BAM! Okay. I'm just going to say that I FREAKING LOVED TONIGHT'S EPISODE. Like... It's in my top five. Just... Oh my god. If you want to, you know, go crazy and talk and talk and talk about it, feel free to PM me. Or review (okay, I'm shameless, I know,) because I respond to those things faster than the speed of light :)
The whole idea of this is the scene at the end, with Gordon Gordon (who's freaking awesome, btw! Gordon Gordon ftw!) and Booth. What if they'd had more time before Brennan got there?
There are some spoilers in here. Specifically from Two Bodies in a Lab, Man in the Morgue, Wanna Be in the Weeds, and tonight's episode, obviously :)
Disclaimer: I certainly hope I don't look like Hart Hanson.
I hope I don't look like Celine Dion, either.
The secret is still my own
My love for you is still unknown
'Til now, I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
-Alone, Celine Dion
(Glee Cast version, anyone?!)
"It wouldn't work," he says, and his heart feels like it just fell out of his ass. "We're- we're not compatible. I see the world one way, and she sees it in another." He takes a drink of the wine, trying to calm himself, but it's really not working. "She doesn't love me back. I would know if she loved me back."
And he can hear what Gordon-Gordon's saying, he really can. But he's too busy feeling what Gordon-Gordon's saying to really hearhim. Wyatt's telling Booth to wait. Patience is a virtue.
He needs to wait.
He understands the concept, he thinks. He thought he could wait for the feelings to go away, so that they wouldn't be so real. He waited to remember little things, like his belt buckle and brown sugar. He waited for Hodgins to find a bullet, and it turned out he didn't need to wait for that. He tried waiting for the feelings for Bones to go away. He almost wanted them to, so that this wouldn't be so god damn hard. And he tried waiting to remember all the things that made him... him. But he needed Bones to do that for him.
He thinks that it's possible that he's given up trying on almost all of those things, though.
Because isn't it just easier for him to forget what Sweets said? To just feel what he feels for her, and let it grow? Because he's starting to think it's never going to go away, this feeling. Because if he can give into that -- give into it one hundred and ten percent-- then won't everything just be.... easier? That way, he could just call her, not feeling totally embarrassed that he doesn't know what he wants to put on his damn hot dog. He could just ask her, "Hey, Bones? Do I like mustard? Because I think I do, but it kinda smells really gross?" And then she could just tell him, "No, Booth. You only like honey mustard. You sometimes use it as dip for your fries instead of ketchup, but I never really understood that." And then he would get that feeling in his chest: the one that makes him feel so... light, so free.
Drifting back to the real world, he takes another sip of the wine. So, he's decided: He's going to give up on fighting what he feels, and he's going to stick with the waiting thing. Gordon-Gordon is smirking across the table. He kind of wants to smack it off his face, but in a good way, of course. Maybe that's because Gordon-Gordon isn't in a situation like this. Because surely Gordon-Gordon gets how freaking insane this whole thing is, right? Because it's Bones, right? And Bones is so... Bones.
"I told the wife -- the one who loved the vic-- I said, "A man who doesn't get the woman that he wants, he goes kind of crazy."
"Do you believe that, Agent Booth?"
He doesn't really know, and he says so. "I think so. I mean, it applied to the victim. He was so in love that he wanted to break out of jail for her. That seems crazy to me, but in a good way, kind of." Gordon-Gordon cocks an eyebrow at him, and Booth shrugs. "I don't know. I mean, I guess I believe it. But, I don't think I'm going crazy."
"Love is crazy, Agent Booth."
Booth agrees with Gordon-Gordon. He does, really. It just... he would've done crazy things for Bones before he knew he loved her. He flew across the country for her, he left the hospital with broken ribs, he told a room full of people that it was possible for her to be a murderer, her jumped in front of a bullet for her. And he'd do it all again, too.
Maybe that makes him crazy, but he realizes that he doesn't really care. Because he would follow her to Hell and back if he had to. He might even go back again if she asked him. Hell, if she jumped off a cliff, he'd be leaping with her.
"Yeah," he says, finally smiling. "I guess it is."
"What is what," he hears Brennan say from somewhere behind him, and he jumps a little. He can't tell her. Not yet, anyways. This is his secret, his burden. "Don't worry about it, Bones. It's crazy."
Gordon-Gordon laughs.
Booth smiles.
Brennan looks confused.