All the Cool Kids Are Undead

After Buffy is killed, Cordelia seriously considers joining the new "In Crowd".

I do not own any of these characters, they belong to the Produces of the TV Series Buffy: the Vampire Slayer.

All the Cool Kids Are Undead

By MrBillyD

When a Vampire Slayer dies, Willow thought, what's supposed to happen? A new Slayer is supposed to be called, to continue the job of slaying Vampires. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was killed six months ago, but a new Slayer hasn't shown up in Sunnydale yet. Buffy's death had been too much for Giles. He just resigned, and went back to England. A new Watcher hadn't shown up to replace him yet.

Without her, Willow and the others in Buffy's Gang, had gone on with their lives as best they could.

"Now," Willow said, "unless a new Slayer shows up soon, we'll be getting on with our unlives."

"Why not?" Cordelia shrugged. "Everybody else is."

"It does seem that way." Willow said, "So many kids have been killed and come back as vampires. Sunnydale High is now holding night classes for them. They're being taught the same curriculum, that's taught to us living students in the daytime."

Cordelia nodded, "All the cool kids are undead; and it looks like the only one's who are gonna live to graduate, are geeks and all other kinds of losers; and frankly, I don't want to be the last cool girl, who's still alive at Sunnydale High. That'd be worse than being the last virgin."

"So what do you want to do?" Willow asked, "Go on a suicidal date with some real cool vampire guy?"

"All the girls are doing it. I've been talking to some of the newly undead ones."

Willow sounded uneasy. "You've been talking to vampires?"

"Over the phone of course! They can't bite you over the phone! Every one of them says that the night sessions, just won't be really cool until I'm enrolled in them."

"Cordelia! Just because a lot of people do something, or say something..."

"Yeah. I know. I know." Now Cordelia sounded peeved. "They've also told me that Harmony's acting like she's Number One! Harmony? That girl didn't know how to accessorize, even when she was alive!"

"Accessorize? Is that the reason why..."

"Come on girl! I'm not that shallow! Harmony wants to be the one who vamps Xander, and then make him her boy-toy!"

Willow was horrified. "Xander? Harmony's 'boy-toy'? Not her! If he's gonna be anybody's boy-toy, he's gonna be..."

"Mine!" Cordelia told her.

"Right Cordy. Sorry."

"And I know what I have to do."

Willow asked, "Go out dressed all slutty, looking to pick up some vamp, and then do the deed with whoever he is? Just so you can get to Xander first?"

"What? Forget that!" Cordelia spoke angrily, "You might be some kind of bimbo nerd; but I've never been that desperate. I can get any guy I want, to do anything I want; and I"ve chosen the guy ahead of time."

Willow asked with a tone of sarcasm, "So who's the 'luckiest vampire in all of Sunnydale'?"

"This Saturday night," Cordelia smirked, "I've got a date with Spike."

"Spike? Oh! Now I see."

"Yeah Willow. Now you understand. The classiest chick at Sunnydale High, is gonna be getting it from the hottest stud in Sunnydale. You don't think I'm gonna pass that up, do you?"

"No Cordelia. I'm sure there's no way you're gonna pass up getting it from Spike, even when 'It' is defined as his fangs stabbing you in neck, while he sucks your blood out until you're dead."

"Exactly." Cordelia told her, "Which will be followed by me doing the same to Xander, before Harmony can get her fangs into him; or you either."

Willow said, "I've just got one question Harmony."

"Which is?"

"Does Spike have a friend, so we can make it a double date?"