Caught Red-Pawed

Disclaimer: Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do! I don't own Cats, and most likely neither do you! Ok, that was an epic FAIL, but you get it, right? Points for originality!

Author's Note: Hey guys! I thought I'd try my hand at some adventure, following my romance story, so this is a little one-shot on our favourite notorious duo, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer! All their dialogue is in their Cockney accent, so it might be a little hard to read, just warning you now. Don't forget to R & R and enjoy! :)

The streets of London are dark and quiet. The only souls out on this moonless night are none other than two red, black, and white calicos named Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. Naturally, they're out doing what they do best: stealing.

"Teazah, where ah' we goin'? Oi thought ya said we were goin' to tha' big ol' mansion on St. James' street! We're goin' the wrong way!" Mungojerrie complained as he followed his sister, Rumpleteazer, through the many alleys and by-streets of London.

"Shush! Ya gonna give us away! Tha's been a change o' plans, 'Jerrie. We're now goin' to steal from ah' good ol' neighba, ya know tha' one tha' lives across from us?" Rumpleteazer explained, to the slight disappointment of her brother.

"Ya don't mean...tha' family with tha' crazy German Shephard?" 'Teazer nodded and her brother's face grew horrified. "'Teazah? Ah' ya troiyin' to get us killed? We can't go up against tha'! 'Ave you foinally gone bonkers?" Mungojerrie asked hysterically, raising his voice a little.

"'Jerrie! Shhh! 'Ow many toimes do Oi 'ave to tell you? Oi thought t'would be a noice challenge, since ya keep complainin' 'bout 'ow borin' ah othah exploits 'ave been. Ya wanted a change, so 'ere ya go!" 'Teazer said, getting slightly frustrated with her clueless brother.

'Jerrie vividly remembered how boring the other exploits have been, what with no dogs or other cats to keep guard. He did remember, however, a certain time when they stole from a house that had a parrot, which just wouldn't keep quiet. He also remembered how hard it was for his sister to not make a meal out of it. He chuckled at the memory.

"Mungojerrie! Would ya jus'-Oh! Look! We're 'ere!" Whatever Rumpleteazer was going to say was replaced by surprise as they finally arrived at their destination: an elegant, huge, Victorian mansion that was sure to have lots of goodies inside for them to steal. It was dark, and not a sound came from inside. Mungojerrie smiled, this was definitely better than their previous plan.

'Teazer noticed the smile on her brother's face and smirked herself. "See? Oi told ya 'dis place would be bettah than tha' othah one! Now let's get insoide!" She looked for a good-size rock, and when she found one, she bent her arm back to throw it, but 'Jerrie stopped her.

"Wait. Allow moi." He offered, taking the rock from her hand. 'Teazer rolled her eyes, he could be so "brotherly" sometimes...'Jerrie bent his arm back, threw the rock with all his might, and the result was a loud smash as rock hit window, sending shards of broken glass flying everywhere. The pair ducked behind the bushes, not wanting to get hurt. 'Jerrie cautiously peeked out from the bush, checking that they hadn't attracted any unwanted attention.

"Awl clear! C'mon, let's get crackin'!" 'Jerrie confirmed as he lithely jumped out of the bush and onto the window sill. Rumpleteazer, however, didn't follow him. "'Teazah, where ah' you?" Mungojerrie asked as he realized his sister hadn't followed him.

"Ovah 'ere! Oi'm getting' ah' bags!" She hissed from a nearby bush. She came out with two medium-sized burlap sacks, and jumped on the window sill, much to the relief of her brother.

"See? Didn't Oi tell ya t'would be a good oidea ta stash ah' bags 'ere earliah?" 'Teazer asked, handing one of the sacks to her brother. 'Jerrie rolled his eyes, but nodded, taking one of the bags and peeking inside the smashed window. His night vision told him they had broken into the living room, judging by the stone fireplace and few comfortable-looking sofas in the room.

"We're in tha' livin' room. C'mon, let's see wha' these people 'ave got for us tonoight!" 'Jerrie jumped into the room, being careful not to step on the broken glass, and started exploring. 'Teazer followed, eager to get her hands on whatever treasures these people had.

"'Ey, look wha' Oi found!" 'Teazer exclaimed as she held up a shiny, small statue she found on the fireplace. It looked like a horse, but it could have been anything in the darkness. She put it in her bag, a pleasant smile on forming on her face at what she found.

"Great job, sis! Oi'll check tha' kitchen! Keep lookin' for more stuff!" 'Jerrie told his sister as he made his way into the kitchen. He jumped up onto the counter and scanned the room. There was nothing of interest, but the kitchen did lead to a dining room, which was promising. He hopped off the counter, and walked to the dining room. There, he leaped onto the table, and surveyed the room.

He spotted some shiny silverware in a glass case, and went to check it out. "Wow, it's beautiful! T'would be such a shame ta lose these...Oh,well! First come, first serve!" 'Jerrie said as he eyed the sapphire-encrusted silverware. Without a second thought, he opened the glass case carefully, and scooped all the fancy silverware into the bag. He jumped off the case, and went back to the living room, eager to see what his sister had found.

Rumpleteazer had even more luck than her brother. "Wha'd ya foind, 'Teazah?" 'Jerrie asked as he got back to his sister. 'Teazer smiled, and opened her bag for him to see. He gasped. Inside the bag was the shiny statue, and countless strings of white pearls, along with gold necklaces and chains.

'Jerrie high-fived his sister, and showed her his bag. "That's it? Jus' some knoives an' forks?" 'Teazer looked disappointed, hoping her brother had found something better. "Not jus' any knoives an' forks, sapphire-encrusted knoives an' forks." 'Jerrie said, smirking.

"Oh, then that's an 'ole lot bettah! Let's see wha' they've got upstairs!" 'Teazer smiled, and quickly climbed the stairs, her brother not far behind.

When they got to the top, there were only three doors. "Let's do one at a toime, to make sure we don't miss anythin', ok?" 'Jerrie asked, opening one of the closed doors. 'Teazer nodded, and followed him in. The room was like a hotel suite, it was that big. It looked to be a girl's room, judging by all the posters of male celebrities on the walls.

'Teazer immediately hit the dresser, looking for more jewelry. Mungojerrie sighed; jewelry was Rumpleteazer's weak spot. His weak spot was watches and anything that had jewels in it.

'Teazer had this room covered, but 'Jerrie knew he couldn't look through a girl's stuff. So he decided to strike up a conversation as he waited for his sister to finish up. "'Ey, 'Teazah, wha' d'ya think of Jemima?" 'Jerrie asked, asking the first question that popped into his head.

'Teazer stopped what she was doing and turned around to look at her brother. She eyed him suspiciously before replying, "Oi think she's sweet. She 'as a great voice, an' she's a good friend. Whoiy do ya ask?" She turned back to rummaging through the drawers.

"Oi don't know, Oi moight loike 'er...A lil'." 'Jerrie answered, regretting he asked anything in the first place. Rumpleteazer burst out laughing, and fell off the wardrobe, while still chuckling. She stood up, and put an arm around her brother's shoulders.

"Oi'm sorry, dear brothah, but did Oi jus' 'ear you say you 'ave a crush on Jem?" 'Jerrie nodded, not liking where this was going. "Wait till Oi tell tha' queens! You'll nevah live this down!" 'Teazer let go of her brother and sauntered over to the door, leaving a horrified 'Jerrie in her wake.

'Jerrie came to his senses, and quickly followed her sister into the other room. "'Teazah! Ya can't tell anyone! This is ah' secret, ok? Promise?" Mungojerrie practically begged his sister, not wanting to face the embarrassment of his tom friends if they found out.

'Teazer grinned evilly, enjoying the power she had over her brother now. "Foine! Oi'm jus' teasin' ya! No need to get so upset!" 'Teazer consoled her brother, not meaning a word of what she said.

"Thank Bast, Oi knew ya wouldn't put me through tha'!" A wave of relief washed over 'Jerrie at his sister's words. 'Teazer laughed, and started rummaging around in what seemed to be a boy's room. "Ya know Oi'm loiyin', roight?" 'Teazer said as she inspected a silver chain, and put it in her bag.

All previous anxiety hit 'Jerrie again like a tidal wave. "Ya can't 'Teazah! Oi'll be tha' laughin' stock of tha' 'ole Junkyard if ya do! Oi'll be ruined!" 'Jerrie was really begging now, he couldn't afford to lose his reputation to his sister. 'Teazer couldn't help but notice that her brother wasn't joking. He would be ruined, and 'Teazer didn't want to lose her partner in crime. She decided she had made her poor, love-sick brother suffer enough.

"Oh, foine, Oi promise Oi won't tell. Cross moi 'eart. Now stop makin' a fool of yaself an' start looting!" 'Teazer hopped onto the dresser, and examined the small medals on it. She held one up, inspected it, and put it back. "Oi can't take these...They're wartoime medals. Oi at least 'ave ta 'ave some decency. Oi'll tell 'Jerrie not to-"She didn't get to finish that thought, as 'Jerrie jumped onto the dresser and gave her a big hug in thanks.

"Thanks so much, 'Teazah! You're tha' best!" 'Jerrie exclaimed as he let go. 'Teazer playfully smacked him, saying, "Don't scare me loike tha'! Ya know Oi don't loike ta be snuck up on! But, you're welcome, 'Jerrie. Oh, yes, don't touch these medals, they're wartoime ones." She pointed to the medals on the dresser. 'Jerrie nodded solemnly; even he had enough sense not to touch those.

A sense of sadness came over them both as they looked around the room, at the numerous enlisting and war posters that were posted on the walls. "We can't take anythin' from this person, 'Jerrie. Jus' wouldn't be roight. Oi don't feel good 'bout it, takin' somethin' from a soldiah." 'Teazer explained as she hung her head, reminiscing about their own owner. 'Jerrie put an arm around her shoulders, comforting her as he, too, was brought back in time to happier days.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's owner was a soldier himself. 'Teazer was closest to him, and their owner loved them very much. He took very good care of them as kittens, but one day, he went away to war and didn't come back. The pair waited for weeks on end for him, hoping he would come back someday. When they finally realized he wasn't coming back, they went to work for Macavity, and eventually ended up with the Jellicles. 'Teazer was hit the hardest when they found out their beloved owner was dead. It took her months to heal and finally accept it.

'Teazer shook her head, coming out of her reverie. "Let's get outta 'ere. We 'ave enough." She said quietly as she walked to the door with her sack. 'Jerrie followed, and went down the stairs ahead of her to do one last sweep of the place.

When Teazer reached the bottom, she checked the living room to make sure she hadn't left anything behind. She heard 'Jerrie whistling in the kitchen, which meant he was nearby.

As 'Teazer was scanning the room, she felt someone breathing hot air down her neck. Her eyes widened as she realized what it was. During their theft, she had completely forgotten about the family's dog.

She slowly turned around, and her worst fear was confirmed as she came nose-to-nose with a big German Shepherd. She gave a loud shriek, which caught the attention of 'Jerrie, who came running at the sound.

"Wha's wrong? ...'Oly shi-RUN!" 'Jerrie yelled as the dog gave chase and started running after the two cats, barking madly. They managed to maneuver around the furniture with ease, while trying to get to the window from which they entered. The dog crashed into just about every chair, which slowed it down. They finally reached the window, and leaped out of it, sacks in hand.

The pair landed with ease, and ran for their lives, still frightened that the dog might get to them. They ran all the way to the Junkyard, where they usually hide their stolen items.

Finally, 'Jerrie and 'Teazer stopped for breath at the entrance to the Junkyard. "Wow...tha' was... scary!" 'Teazer gasped, as she was still trying to catch her breath.

"Remoind moi... ta nevah do tha'...again!" 'Jerrie panted, smiling. 'Teazer nodded her head, "Agreed. Now let's hoide this stuff an' go 'ome." She started walking into the Junkyard, toward their favourite hiding spot.

They hid their sacks, and collapsed in a heap in front of an old washing machine, exhausted. 'Teazer immediately snuggled up to her brother and fell asleep. 'Jerrie had no such luck. He was tired, but he knew he couldn't go to sleep just yet.

He looked down at his sleeping sister and smiled. He picked her up, and brought her to the den they shared while staying in the Junkyard. He set her down in her little nest of blankets and tucked her in, kissing her forehead goodnight. He then curled up in his own bed, and fell asleep.

The End

Author's Note: Longest story I ever wrote! Yes! Haha, I'm still used to writing in the Cockney accent, after writing in it for so long! I almost made myself cry when writing their back-story, it was sooo sad! I also couldn't help but add a bit of fluff on 'Jerrie's part, I'm cool like that! If that pairing isn't common, I couldn't think of anyone else, really. Did ya like it? Review and tell me how I did!