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He was my everything… Everything. He was the reason why I was alive, why I was breathing. But now he was gone, out of my life.

I still couldn't comprehend the fact that I had lost him. Just yesterday he was here, holding my hand, stroking my hair softly with his comforting hands. Just yesterday he had told me that he loved me with his soothing voice.

We were a perfect couple—or so everyone told. Sure, yeah, I agreed with them. We were a perfect couple.We were…

Nothing matters anymore, though, except for the fact that he was gone.

I can still remember the first day we met—kindergarten. Your typical kindergarteners doing coloring, you know? That's how we met. I asked him if he had a black crayon, and he said, "Ja, I do. Do you wanna be friends?" After that, we just clicked. We became best friends up until our freshmen year in high school. That's when he got the courage to ask me out. That's when I had the courage to say yes—all thanks to Tom.

Our first date was funny, in a way. I kept falling down over every small thing, while Bill kept spilling stuff all over the place.

Our first kiss was the summer following our first date, before we started our sophomore year. It was very cute, very sweet, very warm, very nice… We wanted to be silly and started throwing pebbles at a random person's house, and when someone finally opened the window we started running away to our "secret hideout" which was the smallest but cutest park in Magdeburg. Ironically, it also started to rain while we were running for our dear lives. When we had arrived at the park, we started to play tag, and somehow I got tackled by Bill. That's when he kissed me, out of nowhere, which was actually very… cute.

The first time he said I love you was two months ago. One month after the end of the Humanoid City Tour. Big time difference between the time he asked me out and the time he said I love you, right? He always said that he was unsure, but I always was sure that I loved him, with all my heart. So, he had finally made his mind up, and he told me that he loved me. I was the happiest person ever that day.

Last night, though, he disappeared. He said that he would never leave me alone, never… But now he's gone, forever. Not coming back. Ever again.

They found him in his room, hanging from the ceiling. It's believed that it all happened around 4 a.m. When we all found out Simone, Tom, and I went into hysterics while the rest of the band felt really sad.

We were now sitting in the living room of twins' house, watching some people take the corpse out of the house—well, not me at least.

"?" Someone called my name. I turned around with fresh tears falling down my face to be greeted by one of the police officers. ", we found this letter in 's room. It belongs to you." I took the letter with shaky hands and took a glance at everyone in the living room before walking hastily toward his room. I opened the door slowly, hoping that the rope was gone and walked in.

Any traces of his cruel suicide scene was removed and the room looked like any other day—clothes carelessly thrown at a corner, the make-up bag left open, the hairspray can cap-less, and the messy bed. I walked over to the bed covered with black satin and took a seat. I sniffled as I ripped open the envelope that contained the letter and felt another tear trickle down my face.

My Liebe, my Hazel,

By the time you are reading this, I will be long gone… just the way I wanted it to be all along—to be free. Don't be sad, all right? Don't cry over me, don't waste your precious tears on me, it's not like I'm worth it or anything, for leaving you even though I promised that I would never leave you.

I had to this Liebe, I'm very sorry but I had to do this. Tell the others that I'm sorry, too. You see, this whole fame thing was a little too much for me, and I couldn't take it anymore. All it did to me was just tire me out and separate me from my family, most importantly you.

I'm not saying that I ever regret the formation of Tokio Hotel—after all being in a world-wide known band was my dream…

Dear, darling, I'm very sorry that I had to make you live through this; you can hate me as much as you want, but always remember that I love you and will keep loving you no matter what.

You'll always be in my heart…

Bill

I don't hate you Bill, I can't hate you, I thought as I looked at a picture of us hugging on his night-stand. I leaned down into his bed and sniffed his pillow for the last time inhaling his perfect scent inside me. As long as you're happy, I will be happy also…