Author: Katie Todd

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. I wish they did It would be nice.

Rating: k+

Summary: Kate chooses to handle things in a way she shouldn't , and causes harm to herself. Gibbs is there to help her through.

AN: This might be revamped and will be sent into beta land soon. If you see any ways it could improve please let me know.

"Todd." she whispered into her phone, her throat screaming for water as it had since five days ago when she had contracted her cold. Cold. That's what she claimed it was, what she told Tony it was. It was actually just watery eyes, a runny nose, a horrid cough, sickening stomach aches, and a raw throat all caused from guilt and new unhealthy eating patterns not the weather or staying out in it to long. She pressed her ear closer to the black piece of metal that was keeping her awake, and shifted her body so her back was pressed against the beds wooden headboard.

"Very formal Agent Todd." Gibbs said, a tone was attached to his voice but she couldn't make it out it wasn't sarcastic but it was close to it.

"What do you want Gibbs?" Kate chocked out. She turned to glance at her clock. The bright red numbers blinded her, 04:20. She never woke up until five not anymore any way there was a time she would have but that was when she was in the secret service and that experience including her horrid off but still on the job judgment were long behind her. God had forgiven her and she had sworn not to do something like that ever again.

"We got a case, Tony and I are cumin' by to pick you up in ten" He flipped his phone shut, not happy about being forced to come to work this early on a day he had actually gotten some sleep and he was even less happy with the fact that he had to wake Kate up at 04:00 in the morning. She needed her sleep now more than ever. He had watched her slowly deteriorate these last few days; not eating, not sleeping, not talking, just working and then going home at two in the morning to work some more. And it had all started with one case, a single case five days ago.

It had been chaos. It was no ones fault and the guy was guilty but somehow Kate blamed herself for being the one who shot him. There had been no way to determine who fired the kill shot, but Kate was still convinced it was her and had beaten her self up for it ever since.

Kate grunted and rolled her eyes as she flipped her phone shut at Gibbs' rude conclusion to their conversation, if you can even call it a conversation. She tossed the phone to the floor and crawled out of bed. As her socked feet hit the carpet it seemed to dawn on the young brunette that Gibbs had said ten minutes and that he usually kept his word. So, she rushed to her bathroom washed her face, brushed her teeth and threw her hair up in record time. She then sprinted into her closet to slid on a pair of black dress pants, and a black turtleneck. She stumbled into a pair of black shoes, grabbed her bag along with a random assortment of folders all embossed with the shimmery blue NCIS logo and started crawling around on the floor to find the cell phone that she had tossed to the floor less than six minutes ago. After finding it and successfully loading everything into her bag she checked and double checked her hair before sliding some foundation on her face, a thin red gloss on her lips, and a gentle coat of mascara and eyeliner on her perfect mocha brown eyes.

Gibbs motioned to Tony to meet him at the front door in the car after he had filled it with gas as he answered the shrill, common ringing of his phone; he placed the piece of crappy metal to his ear and listened intently to Abby as she explained why she would be late to work. All he really understood was 'that cute Norfolk agent and I are at this charity thing and…' He nodded to the phone only slightly aware she couldn't see it and politely tuned out to her rambling as he climbed into the cold metal box that doubled as a conference room and started his decent.

"Its fine Abbs." he said as he clicked the phone shut and walked out of the elevator his shoes clicking on the blue and gray tile of the NCIS lobby floor as he strode towards the large glass front doors and hopped down the marble steps quickly locating the practical unmarked sedan Tony had gassed. Gibbs strolled in front of some beat up old black car with an angry looking driver. Once he reached the sedan he popped open the driver's door motioning for Tony to relinquish his position and move to the passenger side. He doubted Tony knew where Kate lived and if he did there was no way he wanted to find out not this early in the morning. The younger agent groaned and moved to the other seat as Gibbs settled himself in the driver's seat and without buckling his seat belt or even waiting for Tony to be completely seated started the engine and his usually driving technique as he drove at a brake neck speed.

Tony wasn't at all surprised when Gibbs stopped in front of what looked like a quiet coffee house, got out of the car without a word and started approaching the cafeteria styled glass doors. It took Tony an only a second before he leapt from the sedan and raced to join Gibbs in the coffee shop. He walked up behind the older man and prepared to quietly wait his turn to order a steaming cup of hopefully delicious coffee. He watched silently as Gibbs ordered two coffees, he wondered only for a second who the 2nd coffee was for. Kate. He knew it was for the young attractive and smart brunette agent the instant Gibbs stepped out of the small three person line to silently add cream and sugar to the second off white steaming cup. Tony quickly ordered an Italian-blended-peppermint-something-or-other-mochaish-beverage and scooted out of line carefully sipping the warm light brown liquid. Satisfied with its sharp taste he headed out the glass doors of the slightly out of place coffee shop and into the car.

Gibbs had set the second coffee in the cup holder and sipped on his own as he started driving at another breakneck pace. After two minutes of silent Dale Earnheart styled driving Gibbs pulled in front of a rather nice looking brick apartment building. He told Tony to stay put after moving to the back seat so Kate could ride shot gun. Tony for once didn't argue but simply unbuckled his seat belt grabbed his coffee and climbed into the back seat watching silently as Gibbs, two coffees in hand started his assent up a set of tall rod iron stairs.

He reached the top and stopped in front of a burgundy colored door. Before he could even knock Kate opened it. He silently handed her the coffee and she smiled gratefully before turning abruptly to lock her apartment door. He turned and took a glance at her realizing for the first time how skinny and pale she had become. He pushed the thought into the think-about-latter box in the back of his mind and headed down the steps with ought to waiting for her to finish. She ran to catch up with him taking a moment to compose herself as he opened the passenger side door of the car. She slid onto the leather seat and gingerly sipped the coffee. Her eyes widened at the fact that it was exactly how she liked it she looked at Gibbs wondering how he knew, but he just rolled his eyes and fixed her with a grin. He started the engine and driving only slightly slower than normal. They arrived at the crime scene nearly ten minutes later. Kate stepped out of the car, and slowly walked to the truck parked a few feet away.

She shrugged on her black and baggy but warm NCIS jacket and threw the baseball styled cap on her now twirled up brown hair before grabbing the camera and sliding its lanyard around her neck. She smiled as Gibbs grunted something about her anticipation and sent her into the roomy cottage they had just invaded. She detachedly took pictures of the bullet stricken furniture and blood covered floor. She turned towards one of the wooden walls to take a picture of a decent sized hole when her whole world went black. She saw black and gray as she felt herself fall helplessly to the floor.

Kate woke up to a pounding in her head. She lifted a pale hand and placed it to her temple as she slowly opened eyes to reveal a starch white room with two abandoned green vinyl chairs and a window ledge that was filled with bushels of cheerful flowers. There was a bunch of white and wine red roses from Tony that sat in a gorgeous glass vase, beside his bouquet sat a group of pale pink daisies and bright yellow sunflowers sitting in a long green vase form McGee.

Kate suspected that Abby had ordered or strongly suggested him send them. Kate liked the gesture from the rather green Norfolk agent she hardly knew. Beside his arrangement in a flat black vase sat twenty four tall dreary black roses with dull red babies breath 'obviously from Abby' she mused. The hospitalized brunette continued to gaze at the window easily picking out a bunch of white Scottish flowers from ducky. Her gaze dropped a little lower to a rickety brown table one of the nurses had put up to hold more of the various flowers. She picked out a dozen tulips and a crisp card from Gerald, twelve still wrapped white carnations from Director Morrow and a big obnoxious arrangement from her last man of the moment, David. 'So gentlemanly' she mused. She had dumped him a week earlier.

Her curious eyes then wondered to a rather quiet but bright arrangement from her family that sat in front of the latest family picture framed by dull looking metal. The picture depicted them all in black and white laughing around the table at the last family banquet. Kate's eyes skimmed by the next few arrangements from various people when her eyes finally landed on a bunch of tall slender red roses surrounded by white carnations and a couple lonely sprigs of babies breath. Her heart stopped momentarily as her eyes picked out the steep cursive on the card, she read four simple words. And those words had her heart in her throat. Get Better. Love, Gibbs. Thoughts started popping in her head about why he would write LOVE. Her teenage like thoughts however were disturbed when the very man of her affections stepped into the room.

She smelled him before she saw him. That ever present hint of saw dust and the bleach like smell of his shampoo mixed with what she thought might be bourbon. She had never tasted bourbon. She didn't drink much really not after Major Kerrie's death. Thankfully God had forgiven her for all that.

She heard him before she saw him. The sharp click of his shoes on the tile was extremely familiar and somehow comforting to her just as the starchy sound of his pant legs whispering over the floor was.

He came to sit down in an orange vinyl chair beside the bed that she had somehow missed in her earlier viewing of the cubicle. He took her hand almost shyly which was a very un-Gibbs like emotion, and looked down at her fragile hand in his before fumbling through his brain to find some not so cold words that would convince her to get over the shooting and eat so her body wouldn't go into convulsions like she had ever again. He looked up at her face as he slid a Chinese take out box out of the bag she hadn't noticed him bring in. He opened the puzzle like top of the box and shoved two chopsticks in it as he handed it to her without releasing her other hand.

"Eat." he ordered.

It was a demand but it wasn't cold and she was tired of not eating. God had forgiven her. She didn't know how or why she had slipped into the pattern she had, it was something she hadn't even considered since high school. She inhaled the rice and shrimp in a matter of seconds still with only one hand, closed the box and pushed it to the floor.

"Thanks," she paused trying to compose her next thoughts, "Wont do it again." Gibbs decided that was enough for him and silently hoped she'd keep her promise. He could see her eyes flutter and new it was time for her to get more sleep.

"Kate," he started roughly, "sleep I'll be here when you wake up."

He found it odd to state something like that. He had rarely left her bedside since she had brought in three days ago. But now he was absolutely not getting up from the old tacky chair his butt now inhabited because every time he got up even for coffee it seemed there was another nurse telling him she had awaken and went right back to sleep he was thankful that she hadn't this time.

She smiled as she felt his rough thumb slide across the back of her hand and let herself drift off to sleep, feeling safe knowing he'd be there tomorrow or whenever she woke up. Knowing he'd help her overcome what she was going through.

She had just drifted off to sleep when he heard her mummer his name.

"Jethro?"

He squeezed her hand in answer to her weak question.

"I'm here" he murmured. Wondering if she knew what she was doing or if she could hear him.

"I love you Jethro." She stated simply.

His breath caught. Part of his brain, the irrational part, wanted her to mean that, and hoped it wasn't the morphine talking through her. But the more rational part reminded him about wasted marriages and pointless affairs that just ended with money lost and with his heat broken, usually at the lovely heeled feet of the wife that walked out on him. He was used to his brain saying two different things when Kate was concerned. What he wasn't used to was his heart getting in on the debate or his heart taking control of his mouth.

"I love you too Katie." He whispered as he shifted his weight in his chair and tried to slip into sleep.

A/N: Like it? love it? Let me know…