There.
I had made a perfectly perfect birthday cake, from scratch. A perfectly iced-cake. A chocolate cake with chocolate icing- apparently a favorite of his.
This of course had thrown me off...I hadn't really pegged Jake as a chocoholic. A foodoholic? Definitely. But when did he eat chocolate? Since when was it his new favorite thing? I never caught him eating any.
Not that I particularly paid attention to what he ate.
I recalled the other day when he mentioned his 18th birthday coming up. I knew it was in January...I just didn't know what day. That wouldn't make me a truly horrible best friend, would it? Hopefully not so much;
So Bells, got any exciting plans brewing in that devious mind of yours?
Hmm? What are you talking about?
Ha. Riiight. As if you didn't know.
Yeah...as if.
Wow, you really don't? January 21st? Doesn't ring any...bells? He laughed at his little joke on my nick-name.
It's uh...Presidents Day? Groundhog day? One of those lame holidays. I cleared my throat. Right?
Just a pretty lame holiday. Just a celebration of a certain werewolf's birth. No biggie, really. I could hear the edge in his voice, trying to cover it up with his usual sarcasm.
Oh. Shoot! I had completly forgotten about that! I apologized to him, begging for his forgiveness. I knew he wasn't too upset about it. Maybe he thought I had a natural aversion to birthdays. And maybe I did.
So here I was, putting the finishing squiggly-written words on his cake. 'Happy 18th Birthday, Geezer. Love, Bella'
It usually put a big grin on his face when I tried to be funny. I wasn't as good at it as he was, but I was improving.
The problem was trying to think of the best present to get him. Last year was a complete disaster, since we both ended up coming down with the stomach flu. The most we could make of those festivities, was to try not to vomit while on the phone with each other.
I knew it had to be something to mark his becoming a 'man'. And it felt like it just wasn't an occasion to skimp out on, or to gag-gift him with. It would need to be meaningful. Something to show our friendship and the indesribeable bond we shared. But I wasn't sure if I could manage mushy.
I guess I would have to wing it until I thought of something.
"Is this really necessary, Bella? I mean if I wanted to, I could probably see through this damn thing. Okay, so maybe not," he heard me scowl. I immediately smiled again, this time more shyly, when I pulled him further up the stairs to my room. I knew he must've known where he was. He looked so damn smug, like he knew what was coming. Oh, but he had no idea.
I opened the bedroom door, taking in my hard work from earlier today.
"Stay right there and don't. Move. A. Muscle." I let go of his hand, watching the slight frown as he dropped his hand down.
He stood silent, tapping his foot impatiently, mocking me. I shook my head and stifled a hysteric giggle at the whole scene. I began to go around the room with a lighter, lighting the dozens of different sized candles I had placed all over my room. I turned off the lamp light, watching in mild amusement as Jake kept trying to figure out what was going on. I had decorated my ceiling in a web of white Christmas lights; making my room look almost like a gazebo. The thought sent a quick chill down my spine as I whirled to the other side of the room, flipping the little lights on. Jacob's eyebrows rose higher and higher, as his foot stopped tapping.
I muttered for him not to peak and that I'd be right back, before grabbing part of the package wrapping with me into the bathroom down our hall. I scanned the living room once, twice, after I was done preparing everything in the bathroom. Nope, still no Charlie. He wasn't supposed to be back until after his late-shift, tonight. I leaned back in, checking to make sure I didn't look half-scared to death. I was seemingly enough ready.
My knees knocked together a few times as I re-entered my room. Jacob had made his way to the computer chair, to sit. Hopefully he didn't cheat as I asked him not to, I thought nervously.
"Okay Bella, the suspense is might painful. Just let me take this damn thing off already. It's hot under here," he whined, threatening to move the black bandana up his face.
"No! Not yet. Just one more minute, please," I said, tugging on his arm to move to the edge of my bed.
"Hmmph," he folded his arms and pouted.
I took a deep breath, and pulled the stupid robe closed tighter than ever. I took another breath, not sure when I would be able to speak another word to him without things between us having been changed forever.
"Okay, okay. On the count of three, I want you to take off the blindfold. And...um...Happy Birthday, Jake," I whispered the last few words. He nodded slowly, picking up on my anxiety.
"One," he moved his hand to the edge of the bandana.
"Two," I wrapped my arms around myself even tighter. But I was still sure of myself. So sure that I could finally stop being selfish and give back as much as I possibly could. Every ounce he had ever given me...and much more.
"Three," I breathed, watching as everything went in slow-motion. Jacob, pulling off his blindfold in one sweep.
The way his eyes seeked me out immediately. Of course it only took him half a second to get the meaning of it all.
The smug grin that was on his face melted into an open-mouthed awe. He glanced quickly around the room, seeing the candles. Seeing the sort-of-darkness. Seeing me...in a kind-of silky robe thing. I felt my face with my free hand, feeling the warmth of the deep blush there.
He was frozen in place, from the looks of it. Damnit.
I was hoping he'd have some snide comment to make, to make me feel less...awkward? No, this wasn't exactly awkward...I just felt like there was a huge spotlight on me and all my vulnerabilities were laid out for the world to see and laugh at. But with Jake, I knew better. Which was a small reason for all of this.
"Happy...birthday?" he stuttered, his eyes reeling around, possibly not sure if he was imagining it or not.
"But...what are you...what's my...present. Or should I even-"
"I am," I said in a strong-willed voice. I had no idea where that came from.
"I guess I'm...giving me to you. Not just a present but, a , uh..." I realized I had no words for this. And that I had somehow moved about a foot away from Jacob, who was only an inch or two taller than me while sitting on the bed.
"A miracle?" he answered, sounding stunned. His eyes were taking me in...in big ways. He saw how the silky fabric clung to me, how flimsy the little belt looked, holding it all together. How my hair was falling in around my face. How I was looking up from my lashes at him.
I heard him intake a sharp breath. And another.
He reached out slowly, taking my hand that wasn't clutching onto my robe for dear life. He placed it over his heart, showing me how fast his heart was racing.
"Yours. Always," he said, looking me deep into my eyes, down past everything else I wouldn't let him see. I gasped at the true sincerity of his words. I smiled, feeling the stupid, girly tears rise up.
I mirrored him, taking his fevered hand and placing it over my heart, feeling the electricity singe between our contact like someone had shocked me slowly. His hand was so warm, feeling the rapid beating under his palm. I looked him back in the face as fiercely and meaningfully as I could, taking in the deep russet-red that flamed up the sides of his jaws.
"Yours. Just yours," I said, my breath starting to become ragged at the crazy closeness of Jacob and the intimacy of our few words. Our breath seeped into the space between us. I couldn't take being so close yet feeling like it wasn't nearly close enough.
His face leaned in as mine did, us both looking at the other's mouth, watching how close they got to our own. I felt him place his hand on mine, touching his forehead to mine.
"God, I've been waiting to hear you say that forever, Bella," he murmured wildly, and before I had a chance to chuckle or tear up some more, his hands were in my hair, my hair was all around us and we were suddenly lying on my bed, him hovering closely overtop of me.
His heated lips found mine, almost greedily at first, like if he'd been waiting to take the very soul of me through my lips. I kissed him back just as greedy for the warmth that quietly dug into my bones. Our lips crashed together, making me feel almost dizzy at the thought. I couldn't even think a thought. Thoughts were a mere memory at this point. Jake was everything. Jake's mouth on mine and his hands pulling their way through my hair, keeping me at his reach. Then there were my hands, which were roaming up and down his back, trying to learn the curve of his muscles, the length of his spine that was like putty in my small hands.
I felt a sigh escape his lips, in the shape of a smile, causing me to trail my hands up and down his back more, this time letting them slip under his shirt. I smirked as he gasped softly, pulling me closer to him by one arm that was now underneath my back, arching it up against his chest and stomach. I reached to pull the edge of his shirt up over him, pausing only slightly, remembering he was usually half-naked anway- and yanked it off. He chuckled at me throwing it over my head theatrically.
It was my turn to gasp as I felt the tips of his fingers graze lightly over the side of my left thigh. I shivered as goosebumps made their way up the remainder of my skin. There was depth of this burning that had started in my stomach- it was deeper now. My heart took off, practically singing when Jake's hand reached in between us and pulled my hair to the side, exposing a very sensitive part of my neck and my ear. His lips trailed from mine to start the downward journey to my jawline, then on to my neck. His one hand held me up to him, while the other hand slipped into my robe, sweeping his fingers across my ribs and to my side, rubbing his thumb over the dips and contours he felt there.
This was when I felt the absolute need to be with him. To really be with him, more so than I thought before. I physically needed him to be near me, to be as close as possible- as close as any two people could be.
I needed him inside me. I just wasn't sure I could stutter out the words without having to laugh and feel all embarrassed about it. So I would wait until we got right to that point, before I made myself say anything. If I needed to at all...
While thinking these crazy thoughts of needing to feel every part of him with every part of me...I noticed that he seemed to be thinking the same thoughts as he pressed closer still, nearly panting in my ear, kissing me, nipping at my skin with his teeth.
"Bella, I-I want you. So much. Right here, right in this m-moment," he broke off, kissing my collarbone in between words. It was weird to hear Jacob come across as a 'stuttering stanley.' He was always so sure of himself. This made me feel almost powerful.
"I want you to Jacob. I want you right now. I need you to be..." my voice trailed off as his continuing kisses down my collar bone and oh-so-close to my breasts. He stopped, causing me to frown.
"You need me to be what?" he asked, then hesitatingly, he lifted himself up more so and shifted down so that his face was level with my chest. He pulled the sides of my robe open up top, leaving everything for the taking. His hand found them first, squeezing the soft flesh there, rubbing circles over the especially sensitive parts. My nipples stood out in protest until he lowered his mouth onto one of them, kissing it softly.
Oh. My. I had no idea how warm the boys mouth was! I thought that he was warm before...that was nothing compared to now. My eyes closed, taking in all the new sensations I was experiencing. Jacob's other hand seemed to have an even more bold mind, reach up and pulling the rest of my robe open. Without breaking away from my breasts, he positioned my legs around the outside of his. I heard his pair of shorts go flying across the room, my eyes flying open to see what was now revealed.
I was yes. My whole body was open and readily available for Jake's viewing pleasure.
But more importantly, so was his. To me.
I had seen a few pictures of ... other men naked. And to be honest, I was a little disappointed and intimidated at what I'd seen then. Nothing I wanted near me, that was for sure.
But, they weren't the beautiful that was almost sitting back from me, tendons and muscles and veins everywhere for me to feast my eyes on. I felt my jaw almost come unhinged when I really looked at him. I guess I always kind of figured deep down in the further parts of my brain...that he'd be... like that. I mean, he turned into a huge freaking wolf, for God's sake. He would have to have some extra...something, in the 'man' size department. I saw that he grinned, happy for my appraising looks.
I tackled him, near growling and pulling at his hair. This was what I truly wanted. To feel him and to feel me...be animals together. Not just humans. Not just humans.
I felt him break the act for just a moment, listening to the tear of a metallic-paper sound. Wait.
Wait. I wanted to...see for myself. To feel for myself. I wanted to hear him moan under my touch this time.
I held out my hand to stop him. His face faltered a bit, not wanting to break out of this...whatever this was.
"I just wanted to see..." I started, the same hand, reaching down and taking him into my hand, then after hearing him groan loudly, I added the other hand just for good measure. I stroked my hands up and down the length of him, not sure of what exactly I was doing.
I just wanted to make sure this was all real. And somehow this was the key to it all. I suddenly threw my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply once more.
"Oh you're good. You're real good," he chuckled, sounding a little too devious.
And then his hand slid in between my thighs. I watched him, his face alight with wonder, as he watched me. No one had ever done anything like this to me before and for a split-second I couldn't believe I'd been missing out on it. I felt a finger push into me, slowly, so as not to hurt me. It stung a little bit, but I knew there wasn't anything to break now; I'd been using tampons for years now. But his finger was slightly larger than they were...and his...well.
He was way bigger than his finger. Or two fingers, now.
His thumb grazed slightly over places that made me cry out to him, this time turning me to putty in his very capable hands. And then he stopped just as suddenly as he started.
I whined, my hips starting to push myself back onto his fingers. I was just starting to get used to it, too.
He laughed softly, positioning himself overtop me again, pulling my legs to each side if him.
I looked up at him and saw the sweat dewing on his forehead- when I noticed that I was sweating too. There was just so much heat bouncing off of us. He looked very focused, and I looked down just in time to see why.
He took himself in his own hand, guiding it to where I began, very quickly closing the gap in space. He paused as if to ask for entrance to a private place...where only true love could enter. I nodded, concentrating on turning the odd, burning and stretching sensation into one of pleasure. He slid in slowly, me taking him in all the way.
He moved so slowly at first, his eyes closed eyes wheeling around behind them. But then he looked down at me, intent on my face. I cried out, because it really did start to feel good. The slickness of me and the wholeness of him, like a key to the lock...it was almost too much.
He moved at a steady pace, trying to make sure he could last long enough. His fingers started to graze over my sensitive area again, causing a shudder of muscle contractions to flow throughout my body. I nearly convulsed, especially at the thought of the moment we were having and that I could feel myself contract tightly around him.
"Oh, God Jake! Yes!" I moaned, letting my eyes roll to the back of my head- my toes curling in on themselves.
A few more thrusts and I heard his groan turn into a deeper, more guttural moan.
"B-Bella, you are so...it's so...wet. Holy...Oh MY GOD," he strung together, through his teeth.
Then his body convulsed too, only more so than me, arching his back as I arched mine, still riding out my high.
He steadied his breathing after a few moments, wiping the sweat from his face. I reached up and put my hand on his jaw. I looked at the thoughtful face he was making, before starting to giggle, myself.
He rolled over to his side, pulling me to him, me cradling my head in the crook of his shoulder. He intertwined our hands together.
"It's just...ha. Happy birthday, Jake...did you like your present?" I laughed, poking him in his smooth stomach.
"Oh, that was the present, huh? I thought you were modeling the latest fashion of werewolf convenience wear!" he joked, inhaling the scent of my hair.
So that was that. We were able to go back to the jokes and laughter and teasing just as easily as ever.
Except this time;
"I meant it you know.," I mumbled, as I got dressed before Charlie got home. Jake was standing by my bedroom window, turning to look back at me. He raised his eyebrow.
"My heart is yours now. No one elses. And I think that means...that you were right. Not that that's a usual occurrence," I smiled.
"It's true, I am right about everything...so what was it this time?"
"That I love you. That I'm in love with you. I thought I was just imagining it at first. But...you were so right. I am in love with you. Unable to-see-properly kind of in love with you." I finished, walking over to him, to hug him.
This was what I hoped to feel for the rest of my life.
Hope. Love...Crazy passion over my best friend. And a sense of normalcy, for once. Even being with a werewolf.