A/N: Just a poem to Polyphemus. This is the only part of the Odyssey that I have done, and if you don't like it...tough!
I hope you enjoy this tale of woe...ha ha!
Ode to Polyphemus
The Cyclopes, Polyphemus, was a sheperd on an isle,
he watched his sheep in sunshine and in rain.
Like all his Cyclopes brothers, her had just one center eye,
and like the rest, he'd very little brain.
The Cyclopes were all giants, each was taller then a house,
they never washed their feet and smelled quite vile.
They lived in caves and cooked themselves great pots of mutton stew,
but the thought of eating humans made them smile.
So just imagine when old Polyphemus came back home,
and found a dozen humans! He was jolly.
"We are the Greek heroes on our way from Troy." They said,
"Hello", he growled. "You chaps can call me Polly!"
The giant stretched a hand out, and he grabbed a human leg,
he lifted on man up and swung him 'round.
The man began to scream in fear, but not for very long,
for the giant smashed hishead against the ground.
Then Polyphemus raised the man and popped him in his mouth,
he smacked his lips, the cave rang with his laughter.
Next he grabbed a second man and held him in his fist,
"Your friend was nice, so i'll have you for afters."
Next morning, giant Polly woke. He stretched and said,
"Hello!
I think i'll have my breakfast in bed!"
He swept a mighty hand around the cave and grabbed a man.
He raised him up, and dropped him on the head.
After breakfast Polyphemus rolled away the stone, and led his sheep out for a grassy munch.
He put the boulder firmly back and trapped the men inside,
he'd come and eat another two for lunch.
The men turned to their leader, great Odysseus was his name,
and begged him, "Boss! Please come up with a plan!
If we doin't get away from here, we'll all be dead and gine.
He'll eat us, every single man."
Odysseus was a clever chap, and great at making plans,
he'd saved his men already on this trip.
They took a mighty tree trunk that was lying in the cave,
and carved it to a sharply pointed tip.
The Cyclopes ate two more men, then Odysseus said,
"Dear sir, we'd like to offer you some wine to drink."
The Cyclopes swallowed up a barrel in a single gulp,
and smacked his lips, "That's tasy stuff, I think!"
The Greeks passed another barrel to big Polyphemus,
and in no time at all that wine was gone.
At last he fell back, drunk and giggled, "Hey, what is your name?"
Odysseus said, "Dear sir, my name's No One!"
The giant mumbled, "Let me tell you. No One is my friend.
I like No One, No One is my pet.
When I eat these humans, i'll leave No One until last."
Odysseus said, "You'll eat no one, I bet."
As Polly slept, the Greeks picked up their tree trunk like a spear,
they heated it until the tip glowed white.
They raised it up and thrust it down into the giant's eye,
he woke to find he was as blind as night.
Then Polyphemus screamed with pain, and clutched at his lost eye.
His Cyclopes brothers on the isle came running,
they stood outside his boulder door and called to their big mate;
And that's where sly Odysseus' plan was cunning.
One Cyclopes cried, "Who's hurt you?" and of course the giant fool,
said, "No One's done it! No One's hurt my eye!
No One should be punished, and there's No One here to blame"
His brothers shrugged and left him there to cry.
So the next morning, Polyphemus rolled the boulder back again,
to let his sheep walk out an feed on grass.
But he groped around the doorway with his blind and mighty hands,
to make quite sure no Greeks could ever pass.
But still the sly Odysseus had a plan to get away,
beneath each sheep he tied one of his men.
The blinded Cyclopes missed them as each clung onto a fleece,
until the Greek found freedom once again.
And so Odysseus and his crew survived another danger,
they took their bearings, setting course for home.
But what Odysseus didn't know was just what lay ahead,
he still had many years and miles to roam.
Now if you wander through those seas and come to Cyclopes Isle,
don't panic if they catch you, and don't cry.
Just take a pole and heat it 'till the end is glowing hot,
and poke the evil giant in the eye!