Authoress' Notes:
Here's the last of the three oneshots I wrote during classes today. (Really, that's when my best writing happens. It's sad.) As I mentioned in "Control", if you're confused about my take on Nero's and Ayel's relationship, reading "Intoxication" will probably help out a lot.
Ayel ponders the meaning of the word "love". Pretty much it.
WARNING: as usual with these guys, violence and gay Romulans
DISCLAIMER: If I owned it, the gay would be way more obvious.
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Love
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Ayel had been wondering for years, now, exactly what he shared with Nero. It couldn't be love, he knew that- love meant tenderness, and care, and safety, and protection. What they shared was violent, bloody, damaging, painful. It couldn't be love.
But Ayel had heard that love meant growing breathless when you saw them (and really, did it matter if he was breathless because he was imagining those strong hands wrapped around his throat?), and feeling your stomach flutter when they were around (and did it really make a difference that his stomach fluttered because he could almost feel the punches planting themselves on his belly?), and wanting to be closer to them (because the closer he was, the more Nero could hurt him, and the more he hurt, the better he felt), and he thought that if that was love, then maybe he was in love with Nero.
He'd once heard an ancient human religious text, one that described love as "patient, gentle, kind," and a whole host of other words describing a relationship Ayel didn't share with Nero. If that ancient religion had it right, then Ayel definitely didn't love Nero.
But really, Ayel supposed, it didn't matter. They had what they had. It was bloody, violent, abusive, painful, exciting, stimulating, full of mind-blowing pleasure and mind-numbing agony, and Ayel didn't care whether it was love or not, because he finally had something, and it was good.
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My inner Ayel is really quite wordy. He seems the type to wax poetic and actually make it work, you know? Anyways, yes. Ayel doesn't understand love. Clearly they don't have Disney on Romulus. XD
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