It was screaming inside me. Begging to come out.
I knew I had to say it.
To scream it.
Right now. Four years later, after everyone has forgotten about it.
Except Emmett and I.
I find Emmett standing by his car, smoking a cigarette. I sneak up on him. "You're gonna kill yourself smoking all those cigarettes, you know."
He shrugs. "You say that like it's a bad thing. More like a goal."
Here it comes. That feeling of self-hatred for making him this way.
"Emmett," I sigh. "There's something you should know."
He peeks at me a little from the corner of his eye. "What?"
I take a deep breath, "That night… That Rose died…" I see Emmett stiffen. Here it goes. "She… Alice wanted her to sit in the passenger seat with her while she drove. Alice… She was wasted… All of us had been drinking before… But I wasn't wasted… Rose told her she'd never get in the car when a drunk person's driving. Told Alice she was going to have to force her…. Tie her up and throw her in the trunk… So Alice did… When she started getting to crazy, I took the wheel. Out of all of us, I thought I was the best to drive… But I guess not… We got in a wreck…"
Emmett's eyes snap open. He looks angry. He looks pained. Yet he says nothing. The school bell rings. He stomps on his cig and starts to walk off for fifth. As he walks away, I hear him say three words.
"I hate you."