Pein looked around the meeting room. All the Akatsuki members where present. Well...except the latest addition that is.
"Did anyone bother to inform Sakura there was a meeting today?" he asked.
There were several grumbles of denial after which Pein heaved a sigh. Beside him Konan chuckled.
"Someone go find her and-"
BAM!
The door was bitch kicked open, revealing the culprit to be Sakura herself.
"I HAVE CAKE!" she screamed, holding a platter aloft in victory.
Which did indeed hold cake.
"..."
There was a moment of awkwardness where the only sound was that of crickets stridulating.
Not to be deterred Sakura skipped to her assigned seat between Zetsu and Kisame to place the cake on the table with an air of grandeur. She beamed in delight, pulling out a stack of paper plates, a knife and a fist full of forks.
"I made it myself! Who would like a piece?" she asked them.
"Sakura, what is the meaning of this?" Pein inquired, the first to regain his senses. He watched the petite kunoichi begin to cut the cake into sizable slices. Had they missed an important date or event?
"I just thought it would be nice to snack on something while having this meeting. Would you like a piece Leader-sama?"
"No thank you." he declined, pulling a stack of papers closer. "Now that you're here we can-
"Would you like a piece?" Sakura interrupted, turning to Zetsu.
"No thanks. We can only digest meat proteins. We mean dead bodies." His fly trap closed a little further, indicating his white half's shyness at this embarrassing confession.
Sakura shrugged, apparently not bothered by the plant nin's cannibalistic diet. "How about you Kisa-koi?" she asked the blue swordsman next.
"Thanks cupcake, but I actually just brushed my teeth." he explained, watching her plate a slice and stick a fork in it.
Pein frowned and started again. "The purpose of this meeting is to-"
"Oh! Oh! Oh! Me! Me Me! Tobi would like a piece of Sakura-chan's cake!" the exuberant masked man cheered, sitting tall in his chair and waving his arm high like he was waiting to be called on.
"Pass this down please." Sakura requested, handing the plate to Kisame, who handed it to Itachi, who handed it to Deidara, who at last handed it to Tobi.
"Yaaaaay!" Tobi cheered, not aware that everyone was watching him closely. In order to eat the cake he would have to lift his mask, the opportunity to see his face was apparent to all those present, hence their silent scrutiny.
Another moment of silence, this time held in anticipation. Pein exhaled, seeing this as his cue to move forward.
"I would like to open this meeting by-"
"What flavor is it?" Hidan blurted, receiving a livid glare from Pein for his askance.
"The cake part is marbled vanilla and chocolate and the frosting is dark chocolate covered strawberry." Sakura answered, plating another slice. "Want some?" she offered, holding the plate out to him.
"Strawberry?! I'm allergic to strawberries!" Hidan shouted, shrinking back as if the cake would attack him.
"Oh I'm so sorry! If I had known that I would have made a different flavor." Sakura apologized. She shifted her outstretched arms to offer the plate to Hidan's partner. "How about you Kuzu-kun?"
"I hate sweets." was all the miser said, internally planning on how to use his partner's newly admitted weakness against him in the future.
Sakura turned to Itachi, question apparent in her hopeful look.
The Uchiha sighed, feeling obligated to at least try some. He silently nodded his acceptance, gaining the plate she currently offered. It held a slice at least three times the size he would normally cut for himself. Hesitantly he picked up the fork, wondering if he would be able to eat it all. Itachi turned the plate a little to see the frosted side, inspecting the slice as if he was planning how to attack an enemy.
Pein glowered, once again opening his mouth in attempt to commence the meeting. He inhaled and-
"It's really good Itachi!" Tobi cheered, making everyone's eyes snap back to him.
It was too late, Tobi's plate was already empty. The masked nin even had his chair pushed back from the table, rubbing his distended belly in contentment, clearly mocking their failure.
"Dammit, un!" Deidara cursed, causing Sakura to turn to him next.
"Don't be mad, there's plenty left for you too." she reassured, incorrectly interpreting his disappointment.
In practically no time there was a slice of cake placed in front of him as well. Deidara smiled, reaching out and removing the fork.
They all watched as Deidara ate the cake...with the mouths in his hands...
Sakura blinked, her medic side rearing it's curiosity. "Dei Dei...how is that even anatomically pos-"
"MEETING STARTS NOW!" Pein shouted, his quiet anger finally bubbling over. Everyone jerked in their seats, Itachi choked on his current bite. Kisame reached over and gave his partner a firm slap on the back, dislodging the troublesome piece of cake and sending it bouncing across the table to land directly in front of the Akatsuki leader. Sensing Pein's rage most of them sat a little straighter, demonstrating he had their sole attention.
Pein sighed in relief. Finally! He looked down at his papers and spoke.
"Most of you are probably already aware that-"
"Sakura...Aren't you going to offer me a taste?" Konan softly teased, smirking with amusement when Pein stiffened beside her. She ignored his gimlet stare, pushing her chair back so she could stand, then gracefully made her way towards Sakura.
Sakura looked on with doe eyes, fork currently poised midair with a bite of cake she had intended to eat. "Uh...of course Konan-sama! You can have as much as you would like." she offered, noticing the blue haired kunoichi's approach. She went to place the fork down to cut another slice but was stopped when a hand laid softly over hers. Sakura looked up at Konan, swallowing thickly when confronted with her close proximity and intense gaze.
"No need to cut another slice." Konan murmured, leaning even closer to whisper "Just a bite will do. I'm watching my figure."
Unbidden a blush crept over Sakura's cheeks, spreading downward as Konan used her hand to direct Sakura's. Everyone watched on bated breath as the fork neared Konan's open and anticipating mouth. Plump lips closed sensuously over the fork, pulling back bereft of it's sweet morsel.
There was a agonized groan from someone further down the table as Konan's sly tongue caught a small crumb which dared to linger on her lower lip. If that wasn't enticing enough she let out a pleasured moan, causing several breaths to hitch.
"It's delicious Sakura, well done." Konan purred, eyes half lidded and dark with approval.
"Tobi just remembered Tobi has something to do right now!" A set of hand signs later and he disappeared in a poof of smoke.
"Us too." Zetsu informed them, already sinking rapidly into the floor. Before he could make it completely his black half began to speak "We're going to touch ourselves while thinking abou-" Then he was gone as well.
"I hear Jashin calling, gotta go make a sacrifice!" Hidan shouted over his shoulder as he hunched over and speed walked towards the door.
Deidara was already climbing out the window, muttering about being struck with sudden...artistic inspiration.
This left Kisame, Kakuzu, Itachi, Pein, Konan and Sakura the only one's left at the table.
Pein cleared his throat, tapping his stack of papers on the table to align them before standing up. "Since so many of us can no longer attend I officially postpone this meeting until the same time tomorrow." he announced too casually, making sure to hold his papers in such a way that they shielded his lap. Pein then made his own hasty exit via a body flicker technique.
The remaining male Akatsuki members were quick to accept the dismissal, leaving the two kunoichi to themselves.
Sakura stared in disbelief. They had all just left, and whats worse, hadn't bothered to finish their cake or even take it with them! How rude!
Sakura's aggravated thoughts were interrupted when she felt something being pressed gently against her lips. Green orbs widened and sought out Konan's even as her mouth opening upon reflex. The angel of Akatsuki allowed her fingers to caress those lips after the cake she offered was successfully hand fed.
With mischievous eyes Konan spoke.
"Well? What do you say Sakura-chan? Shall we have our cake and eat it too?"