Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts, and all other things Harry Potter' do not belong to me. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury among others. Only the story is mine, and I am making no profit off of it.

WARNING! This is SLASH if you do not like the idea of two men falling in love, and so forth do not read it! Turn on your heels and run away, because, seriously, no-one is forcing you to read it. If you do however have an open mind, go ahead, and enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to my friend Hannah, who has not only been there to laugh with over crazy quotes, and all things H/D, but has also been there to talk to, always with an open ear, and an open heart. It was also her birthday last week so yes. Hannah, you've influenced this story in more ways than one thanks.

All thoughts are in '

Dialogue is in ""

LOVING HATE

CHP 1: TO LOVE THINE ENEMY

I love you...

I hate you...

I can't get around you...

I breathe you...

I taste you...

I can't live without you...

I just can't take any more...

this life of solitude...

I guess that i'm out the door...

and now i'm done with you...

-Always', Saliva

Draco Malfoy had been many things throughout his 17 years of life, so many things that even he couldn't keep track of them all; although, even he would admit that he would rather not even THINK about some of them. BUT if there was one thing that Draco Malfoy was not, it was weak. Sure, he had Weak Points but he was not actually weak. The thought of being weak wasn't even really tangible to Draco ("Me, Weak?! never!"), for Slytherins were not weak, and what was Draco Malfoy if not Slytherin, and Slytherin if not Draco Malfoy? The fact that Malfoys were "not weak" could also be taken into consideration, but Draco would rather not touch base on that one. Oh no, he most definitely did not fancy thinking about that.

So, if Draco Malfoy was not weak in character (which he was sure he was not), why was he spending so much time pondering his one true weakness? Why, oh why was he thinking about the bane of his existence, his archenemy. Why the bloody hell was he thinking about Harry Potter?! The answer to that question was making a nice job of eluding him, along with the answers to other questions concerning Potter, including: "When had he started considering Potter his weakness?" the disturbing: "Why did Potter hate him?" and the even more disturbing: "Why did he hate Potter?" Draco sighed, rubbing his temples. He hated when he thought too much, because when he started thinking too much, he started to consider. Considering was not a good thing (especially when it came to Potter). He sighed again, standing up. Thinking was DEFINITELY not a good thing.

It was thinking (or rather, thinking about Potter) that had got him into this predicament in the first place. Hell, maybe it wasn't even Thinking-About-Potter's fault, but actually Potter's. Well. If he really wanted to trace it back, he could blame it all on Snape; for pairing them in Potions that day.

~*~

Double Potions, it was easily Draco's favourite class, if not only for the reason that Harry Potter hated it. But there was more to it than that. A well-concocted potion gave you power no regular charm or spell could give you. Their solubility, and absolute ability to be disguised gave you the power to kill while still having the victim's complete and total trust. And yet almost every poison's cure, if you looked hard enough, would be found in a potion. You could hold someone's death, or health in one glass. Heaven, and hell in a teaspoon. The absolute beauty, the power of it, sent shivers up Draco's spine. Potion making was an art unequalled in any field.

Today however, Snape was in a bad mood, and if anybody (even Draco) irked him even slightly they would get nasty consequences. As Snape scribbled down the remaining ingredients for today's Potion, Draco snuck a quick glance over at the Gryffindor side of the room. Potter, who was sitting with the Weasel looked almost as badly temper as the Potion's Master himself .. I wonder what's got HIM today.'

By the time Draco turned around to face the front, Snape was glaring maliciously at the class. "Well.. I think that today's class calls for a slightly Different, arrangement. Granger! Sit with Bulstrode! Patil, Parkinson! Thomas, Crabbe! Potter, Malfoy!"

Draco groaned inwardly as Potter picked up his bag, and switched places with Goyle (who was now sitting with Weasley). He should have known Snape would pull something like this today. Pairing Gryffindors and Slytherins was always his favourite thing to do when he was not in the best of moods.

Potter sat down heavily next to Draco, not even glancing at the other boy. Anger was pouring off of him in waves; from the frown lines where his lips turned down, to his stiff posture. Ah yes, now was the perfect time to bug Potter, there was none better. And of course, he knew just how to do it.

"Well, well Potter. Seems that you've finally realized that the mudblood and the weasel are not worth the dirt on your shoes. Finally seen the mistake that you made on the train? Bravo, I say, Bravo!" Draco smirked, oh how he loved to play with the boy who lived.

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"What Potter, finally gotten tired of all the praise? Sorry to rain on your little parade there, but I wanted my turn, you know. Everybody deserves a turn, you know. A turn to praise the Boy Who Lived." This ought to work. If it didn't Eureka! Potter turned toward him, his eyes a dark stormy green saying a thousand word that could never be said, showing a million things that could never, would never be seen outside that sea of green. Draco's breath caught in his throat. Potter, in his moment of anger was one of the most breathtaking things Draco Malfoy had ever seen. His hair, in every direction, his cold star. It was BRILLIANT- and sexy in every possible way. No, no, I did NOT just think that. Harry Potter is NOT sexy.'

Then Potter spoke, breaking Draco out of his little reverie "You don't know what you're talking about Malfoy."

Oh Potter. What a stupid, STUPID thing to say,' Draco laughed in his head. It was just TOO easy. "You're right Potter, I don't. Maybe because you've had fame ever since you were in your nappies you think everybody has it. But no Potter, we don't. So, no Potter, I don't. I don't know what it's like." Draco smirked. He knew this would do it. However, he did quite expect

Harry jumped up from his seat and grabbed the front of Draco's robes, leaving him momentarily stunned. "You know what Malfoy? I'm sick and tired of your little games. I'm tired of having to worry about what you're going to say, or do. Hell, I'm tired of even THINKING about you. And while we're talking I want you to know something else Malfoy, something a slimy git like you would probably never even think of. Just because I refused your friendship on the train that day does NOT mean that the end of the bloody world has come. It does not mean that we're destined to walk around biting each other's heads off for the rest of our fucking lives. Oh no, things aren't that black and white Malfoy. Do you know what it's like to hear your own mother dying? Do you? Do you know how much it fucking hurts? No, you don't. Do you know how much easier it would be for ME if you would just lay off, if I didn't need to worry about a stupid arse like you trying to make my life a living hell? Do you know how much easier it would have been for the BOTH of us if we had ignored each other for these last few years? Do you? You've got a lot to learn. Including how to see the shades of grey in this world. For Fuck's sake."

At this moment Snape swooped down on them. "Mr. Potter! That is quite enough! Would you please let go of Mr. Malfoy and sit down!"

~*~

And so, Potter had lost 25 points, and they had both ended up with detention- separate detention.

but, for Draco, that, by far, was the better of the punishments that potions episode (for that's what he felt it was, another episode' of the "Malfoy/Potter showdown") had caused. He didn't know what it was that had changed during that speech Potter had performed, but it was something phenomenal.

For all of Potter's talks of Shades of Grey' Potter had separated himself in Draco's mind. On side white, another black. One for Draco's God, another for his Satin. One for Harry, another for Potter. One for Love. One for hate.

This was when Draco started to realise something. The opposite of love was not hate, and hate, not love. They were both powerful emotions brought on by a person's feelings for another. The only difference between the two, really was the fact that one brought on positive feelings, and the other negative. The opposite of love, and/or hate was indeed, not the other, but indifference. Another common ground they ironically shared. The line between love and hate was very thin, and very easy to cross.

Draco had once seen a production of "Romeo & Juliet" by that play-write, Shakespeare. And somehow right now, it seemed completely and totally appropriate.

O brawling love, O loving hate!

O Anything of nothing, first create!

For that's what this was. brawling love.' For he sure did love to fight with Potter But at the same time was plagued with the feelings of guiltiness, and well Love. He loved Harry, he wanted to go up to hi, in the Great Hall and snog him until he couldn't think.. He hated Potter. He wanted to suffocate him with that same kiss. The absolute feeling of yearning he felt combined with the regular hate had seemingly come out of nowhere, and it was driving him to levels of insanity that he had before believed impossible to reach.

My only love sprung from my only hate'

But he also knew that if anything were to happen between Harry and himself it would be of tragic ends. His father would see to that for sure. And the scary thing was.. he wasn't sure if that would be a good thing, or a bad thing.

Was it really possible to love someone with all your heart, and yet hate them passionately at the same time? Draco wasn't quite sure anymore, he just wasn't.

*

END CHAPTER 1

AN-

I took a few liberties, and quoted various things, in numerous places. Naturally, the people to whom these quotes belong deserve credit:

-The chapter quote is from Always' by Saliva

-the opposite of love is not hate but indifference ' was at the top of a chapter of Irresistible Poison' by Rhysenn. Although this was not directly quoted, it was the source of Draco's rant/thoughts on the subject. I'm not sure that it's hers, but I give her full credit for that quote.

-Two quotes in the fic are from Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet'. A recent production of the play that I saw at the Stratford Festival of Canada, and especially Graham Abbey who played Romeo, inspired me greatly, and is responsible for a good chunk of this chapter. I guess I owe a great thanks to Shakepeare for writing the play, the play is also respectively his, as are the quotes.

-There is no Black and White, only shades of Grey.' Is from a song by the Monkees entitled Shades of Grey'.

If I quoted anybody else unintentionally (I wouldn't put it past myself), please just tell me, and I'll give you credit. I'm greatly influenced by everything I see, hear, read, and do, so please do not take it the wrong way if I accidentally quoted you, and did not realise.

I would like to offer a great big thank you to my betas Eternity and Rory9. You guys are great this fic wouldn't be what it is if it wasn't for you. Also to the Girls on the H/D thread at F4F.. thanks for being there to talk to.

Well I guess that's all for now. If you would please leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated!