Author's Note:

So, this started out as me venting my frustration on the boys. College sucks, and life in general right now is treating me like it hates me. So, I thought, why not write this. Let me know if it makes sense, if it's too exaggerated, or if it's actually qualified to be a fic. Make sure you have time to read, because this is going to be a long one. Oh, and to understand why Kenny gets so upset, you have to read, People Don't Really Give a Damn.

DISCLAIMER:

The author does not own any of these characters, or the cartoon in question. These all belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. This story contains swearing, and graphic descriptions of suicide. Contains sexually explicit material. Be warned.

Kyle's Big Mistake

Departure

"I'm really sorry, Kenny." he said as my head started to spin. "I'm really sorry about this. It's something I have to do."

"Why?" I asked having trouble with my words. "Why, Kyle? Why? Is it that bad being with me, that you have to fuckin' do…?" I couldn't go on.

"Kenny, you protect too much. You make me feel weak, you make me feel hopeless all the time." he confessed.

"Because of me, your ass is safe!" I shot bitterly through the pain in my throat. "Because of me, Cartman hasn't been able to kill you or fuck you up like he's wanted to! Kyle, I hate to say this, but I'm the one who should get all the credit. Without me, you're nothing! You're too small, too weak, too fragile!" I yelled. "I am…" I didn't even know what to say at this point. My head hurt, my throat was burning, and my vision was blurring at the edges. How?

"I'm sorry, Kenny." he said simply. "Really. I am."

He didn't look it. He looked like he was calm, and cool, and collected. He looked okay. He looked, excited! Hell, he looked, ready for the world.

It was the first day of summer, and we'd just graduated. Kyle stood in my line of vision, looking at me with those green eyes that I had gotten so used to seeing at my side for the last, well, eternity. He was leaving, tomorrow. Leaving for NYU. I'm so glad that two days before we were making love so passionately, and everything was in order. I'm so fucking glad that two days ago, I thought I'd be lying in the same position today with my red head in my arms. I'm so fucking glad that he chose this time to tell me, that tomorrow he was to fly off on a plane for NYU. Why?

"Then, let me-."

"No. I've already made up my mind, Kenny. You can not come with me." he said simply. "You and I are through."

I stared at him for what felt like six hours, when really it was thirty seconds. He gave me a bright smile, and turned.

"Kyle, what?" I asked almost having trouble again. "What do you want me to do? Kyle, you are everything to me! You are my whole world, Kyle! I've been attached to you practically since we were babies, and now that my dream has come true, now that I told you how I felt, and you told me that you knew about me…. I cried with you, Kyle!" I pleaded. "I cried with you! You held me and told me, that day I fell apart, that everything was going to be okay! You held me, and told me! Kyle?" I gasped.

"Look, Kenny, you'll find someone else." he said simply. "You'll find someone that loves you way more than I can. It's not that I don't love you, it's just, I feel like this is something I have to do. I have to go find out if I can fend for myself. If I can fight off my own battles." he said simply. "I still love you, and maybe when I get back, if I get back, we can pick up where we-."

"No!" I shouted angrily. "Kyle, you can't just up and leave, and then come back when your little Jew Princess ass feels like!"

I knew as soon as my mouth expelled those words, I'd fucked up. That was something Cartman always taunted him with. The Jew Princess and his little poor fag, he called us when he found out we were going out. He went white, and ran over to me.

"I hate you, Kenny McCormick!" he yelled slapping me full across the face and punching my nose. "Never fucking call me that!" he shouted as he turned on his heel and left.