As Rachel Berry entered the halls of McKinley High, she had her head held high as usual. But today was different, today, she didn't have that usual sparkle in her eye that showed her usual determination to be the best.
"I don't want to be here. I can't face another day of this. The insults, the ridicule, it's all starting to get to me. I've always just brushed it off, but I just can't handle it anymore."
As she walked towards her locker, she turned around, only to be hit right in the face by an ice-cold raspberry slushie. She felt the corn syrup stinging in her eyes and the ice-cold liquid running down her shirt down to her underwear. But she didn't care. She just ran to the bathroom and cried. And cried and cried and cried. Trying to cry away all the pain she was feeling on the inside. She just wanted to sit there and cry all day. But before she could put her head against the wall and slide down onto the floor, In waked someone she had so been hoping to avoid today, Santana Lopez. But before Santana could say anything, Rachel looked up at her, with corn syrup still burning her eyes, and said, "Please Santana, not today." And she was surprised when Santana just continued to walk by her. What? How? How could Santana avoid an opportunity like this? Ever since Rachel could remember, Santana had always insulted her, or slushied her, or ridiculed her every day! So why not today? She walked over to her, grabbing a piece of paper towel on her way, wiping the now not so cold slushie off her face.
"Santana, are you... okay?"
"Just leave me alone hobbit! It's none of your business!"
Her sharp eyes looked down at Rachel, eying her from head to toe.
"Clearly you have enough of your on problems to deal with."
She gave Rachel one last deathly look before walking out, brushing past Rachel on the way, knocking her into the wall and causing her to slip on the wet floor, where the slushie had dripped off her long brown hair. That was it. The last straw. She had tried to help Santana and all she had done was made her feel worse. She picked herself up and walked out into the empty hall. Well, almost empty. With her head down, looking at the floor, she ran right into Finn Hudson.
"Rach, you okay?"
She didn't answer. She just looked into his sympathetic eyes and fell into his arms, crying hard into his chest. He felt warm, and it comforted her a little. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. After waiting a little while for her to calm down, he asked again.
"Rachel, are you okay? What's the matter?"
She stepped back and looked up at him with tear filled eyes.
"I... I just don't want to do it anymore Finn."
"What, do what?"
She paused before whispering, the word slowly and quietly leaving her lips.
"Life..."
Finn felt goosebumps run up his spine.
"Rach, no! Please don't say that! You have so much to live for! Whatever made you feel like that?"
"Everybody hates me! I get made fun of and ridiculed and put down every single day, and I'm sick of it!"
"I don't hate you! I love you Rachel! You are beautiful, you are talented! Those people mean nothing!"
"I just don't know what to do with myself anymore."
She began to walk off, walking towards the door, not caring that she has classes to go to.
"Rachel, wait!"
"No Finn, just please let me go."
She continued to walk towards the door and out onto the front steps, she stood there for a second before beginning the 5mile walk home.
After a very long walk, she finally arrived, and walked through the door. As she walked through the living room, her Dad, Leroy Berry, was sitting there reading a book.
"Rachel, what are you doing here? You should be at school."
She stopped, trying not to look at him directly, knowing that he would know that something was really wrong.
"Yeah Dad, I'm fine, I just really don't feel well. I'm just going to go to my room okay?"
"Okay, just call me if you need anything or start to feel worse. Are you sure your alright Rachel?"
"Yeah, I'm fine"
He nodded his head and went back to reading his book.
As she got to her room, she pulled out a box that she'd been hiding under her bed. She opened it up and pulled out a small, but sharp knife. She'd been keeping it there for a while, this was not the first time she'd felt like this. She hadn't used it, but this time was different. She put in her her headphones, and started blasting, Nick Lachey's 'What's left of me'. She held the knife above her wrist, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She thought she could, but really she couldn't. As she went to put it away, it slipped and nicked her just on the wrist before it fell and hit the floor. As the blood ran down to her fingers, she felt better. She picked up the knife from the floor and sliced it just above her hand. The blood ran even faster, but this time it didn't feel good, it made her feel sick. She ran to the bathroom and just made it to the toilet as she threw up. She felt awful. She sat there on the floor crying, trying not to look at the blood still dripping from her wrist, to avoid been sick again. Suddenly Leroy walked in, with her favorite teddy under his arm. Seeing her there on the floor with tears streaming down her cheeks, and the blood running down her wrist, he just stood there.
"R... Rachel...?"
She looked up at him, before looking down at her wrist again and throwing up for a second time.
"Dad, I..."
After staring at each other for what felt like a life time, Leroy finally made the first move. He grabbed a wet towel and knelt down next to Rachel trying to get the blood of her arm. But before he could, she stopped him.
"No! Just leave me alone! I'm fine!"
She stood up and began walking away quickly, but Leroy was hot behind her, grabbing her clean wrist and stopping her from going any further.
"No, Rachel, clearly your not fine. This is not what 16 year old girls do when they are fine!"
His voice was getting louder, his face was getting angrier, and his grip around Rachel's wrist tightened. She winced.
"Let me go!"
She tried to break loose of Leroy's grip, tears now streaming harder than ever.
"Calm down Rachel! I'm not trying to hurt you, I just want to help!"
"I don't want anyone's help! I just want to be alone!"
Still trying to break loose, she tried using her other hand to try and remove Leroy's hand from her wrist, forgetting what she had just done, she felt the pain of the cut finally start to kick in, and it stung, bad, and the sight of the blood made her feel sick and dizzy. But she continued, finally breaking free and running as fast as she could, in her current state, down the stairs and out the door, she ran and ran and ran, she couldn't face anyone right now, especially not her Dad's. She just needed to be alone.
When she had ran as far as she possibly could, she got to a park and sat down with her back up against a tree. She didn't know where she was, or how far she had run, and right now, she didn't really care. She was alone and that's all that mattered. Or so she thought.
A hundred thoughts were running through her head, she still felt dizzy, and this wasn't helping. She looked up at the sky, the sun shining in her eyes.
"I'll just stay here forever."
And on that thought, she closed her eyes. knowing that someone would have to come looking for her soon, all she wanted to do was sleep, and dream of something better.