Bleed
By: Paisley May
~*~
For those who bleed
know life's true colors.
~*~
When Sai paints, he is consumed in his own world.
Most people would say he is content or happy, a notion supported by his countless hours of research on basic human emotions. He likes to think that the things which are included in his daily life are the things that make him happy.
The time he spends with his sketchbook is special. There is even a sort of routine to it, something developed over countless years of daily practice.
First and foremost, he needs a quiet space to work. He typically sits by the Hokage Faces, or on the stone benches that Ugly avoided like a disease. Once, he asked her why. The strained look that Dickless wore on his face told him that he shouldn't have asked, but she simply replied that it gave her a strange feeling- what was it, now? Ah, yes. Sentimentality. Sai did not recall researching what it meant to be sentimental. He made a mental note to do so someday.
Secondly, he flips through his countless pages of artwork for a blank sheet of paper. Everyday the task gets more and more difficult, as the number a blank pages decreases. Each page is covered front to back with drawings and paintings of animals, landscapes and other things. None of these leisurely sketches came to life, like when he sparred.
He feels something akin to pride for his work, alive or not. The strokes are perfect and exact, with not too much or too little black ink applied to the paper. The shading is flawless and the finished work is always accurate.
But something is missing. He does not know what. There is nothing wrong with any of his work, yet it feels empty. Incomplete. This minor curiosity is pushed to the back of his mind. He does not enjoy the bitter feeling of frustration.
When he salvages a blank sheet of paper, he looks around for a subject. Today he has decided to sit under a tree in a local park. It is a bright and sunny day, but nobody is there. Not even a passing bird or other wild animal. After a few minutes of silent contemplation, he settles for some trees standing a good forty meters ahead of him.
After a mere fifteen minutes, the paper is decorated with the image of five trees, the ground, the sky and the clouds. He has created a landscape nearly identical to the peaceful scenery in front of him. (With that little something missing, the voice in the back of his head cries.)
Unsatisfied, he prepares to begin another sketch when a distant figure catches his attention. It is Ugly's friend, Yamanaka Ino. The realization that he still remembers her full name shocks him. They hadn't spoken since they had all eaten lunch together. He recalled how she had seemed to have taken a liking to him, while Ugly had only proceded to injure him again.
It seemed like a long time ago.
"Sai-kun? Sai-kun!" she squeals loudly, animated with so many uplifting emotions that he cannot begin to describe them. She skips over to his location under the tree and leans in close to his face.
"You remember me, right?" she giggles and winks slightly. He smiled.
"Of course. How could I forget such a lovely face?"
Because girls like that, right?
Right.
She giggles again and turns a light pink. Unlike other women he has met, such as Ugly, using opposites has always worked exceptionally well on her.
Perhaps that means she is a true lady? If only he knew what that was.
She turned on her heel to sit down beside him. She glanced at the open sketchbook out of the corner of her eye.
"So... can I see your art and everything?"
He hesitates, but nods in approval. Apart from what he used in combat, very few people ever saw his actual work. Very few people wished to see his actual work. Was this what they called nervousness? Or was it called modesty?
"Yes, but I feel that they are not very good."
She snatched up the book anyway, giggling for what seemed like the millionth time since she had arrived. "Oh, everyone says that about their own work! You have to let other people, like moi, be the judge of how good it actually is. Got it?"
"Oh..." He never learned that rule in any of his research. Perhaps there was much to be learned outside of his books. Sai watched as she picked up the still open sketchbook.
Instead of checking his most recent work, like he expected her to, she opened it to the first page, making her way back to where she started.
She smiled when she saw the very first page, an ink drawing of the Hokage faces. But her facial expressions began to change after the fifth drawing, and the tenth painting, and the fifteenth sketch. It looked like... confusion? She gently placed the book onto the thick roots of the tree.
"Um... Sai-kun? They're all really great- really! But..."
He leaned forward slightly, intrigued by what she was saying. Maybe she could figure out what his artwork was lacking, since he had never been able to do it himself.
"They're all in black and white, Sai-kun. Why?" She innocently tilted her head to the side. It was different to the somewhat flirtatious manner she had been speaking in before. She was generally curious.
He stared at her, dumbfounded. "I could add some grey..."
After all, there were many ways to do that. He could shade parts of the Hokage faces that the Sun couldn't reach, or parts on the ground the the trees were shadowing. But he had already added shading to his art. He always did. If he added more, then the effect of the shading would be lost.
Miss Beautiful waved her hands and laughed. (a real laugh, he noticed. A real laugh.) "No, no, no, no, no, silly! I meant why don't you use any colors? Like this one," she pointed to his newest picture, "this one would look so much prettier if you made the leaves and grass green and the sky blue. Do you even own any colors?"
"I don't think so."
She raised one eyebrow. "No paints? Other than black and white?"
"I have-"
She stops him. "Or grey."
He ponders this for a second, his mind glazing over his possessions for some memory of 'colorful' paint. He thought of nothing. "No, I have none."
"What about... colored markers?"
He shakes his head no.
"...Colored pencils?"
He shook his head. "I am sorry, Miss Beautiful, but I don't have any colors."
An unusual silence swept over them,(as she always, always had something to talk about!) and Sai turned to another clean page. He prepared to sketch a small group of birds that had landed on the ground nearby. Living things were always difficult because they moved around. He drew them from memory rather from sight. Just before he began, he can't help but think for a moment. What if she is right? If color is what he has been missing all along, he didn't want to start another picture without it.
Colors were such a minor detail to him, but at the same time they were so obvious. His artwork was without flaws, the only difference was that his subjects typically had colors in them. But why had he never thought of this before?
Perhaps his art was just a reflection of himself. His skin was plaster white, and everything else about him- his eyes, his hair, his clothes- were jet black. Without emotions, his life cannot hold color. His art was no exception to this.
On the other hand, Yamanaka Ino was full of colors. Her clothes were purple, her skin was peachy, her hair was blonde, her eyes were blue. There was nothing 'black-and-white' about her. As he continued to watch her, he found that she was also devoid of grey. She smiled when the rays of sunlight lit her face, and suddenly, he knew what he wanted to draw next.
"Miss Beautiful?"
"Hmm?" She sat up in a daze, half-asleep.
"I'd like to draw you next, if that is okay-"
She squealed loudly, cutting him off. "You want to draw me, Sai-kun? Really?" She frowned for a second, glancing back at his sketchbook. "But there's just one condition- you have to do it in color, okay? I mean, my beauty just wouldn't show up in black and white!"
He cocked his head to the side a little. Surely she saw the obvious issue with that condition. "Miss Beautiful, I have nothing to color you with."
"I know, I know," she sighed, "that's why we have to go get some."
And before he knew it, she was pulling him up by his arms. He made sure he grabbed his supplies as she ran off towards the main street of the village. As usual, the streets were filled with villagers walking to or from their houses and businesses. They stopped in front of a building decorated with countless kinds of plants and flowers. The sign by the door read "Yamanaka Flower Shop."
"This is my house," she explained when they walked through the front door. The odor of the flowers became stronger. "Just wait here. You can look around if you want!"
Her voice slowly faded away as she disappeared behind a corner. Sai decided to look around the fragrant store. There was nobody at the counter, and no other customers wandering around. They must be closed today, he thought.
Minutes later, Ino returned with a large plastic container. It was clear, with tubes of various colors visible.
"It's paint," she said, "I got it for my birthday, but I'm not much of a painter, so..."
She sat down the container and let him look inside. There were at least twenty different colors and even a few brushes in various sizes. It was perfect for his portrait.
"So where were you going to paint me, Sai-kun?"
He paused, deliberating whether or not they should go back to the park. He looked around at the various, colorful flower displays and decided that he wanted to paint her here. He picked up a small bouquet of yellow flowers and handed them to her. The golden yellow of the flowers was a perfect match for her long, blonde hair. "Stand over there, please."
She did exactly as she was told, leaning against a display of the same yellow flowers she held in her hand. He began.
Working with colors was very, very complicated, he discovered. Before he even got the opportunity to use the colors, he created a ground layer for the painting and sketched the figure. After a good thirty minutes, he finally squeezed a myriad of colors out onto the small plate she placed out for him. It was a little impressive that she was staying so still and quiet. He hadn't thought she woul be able to pose for so long without taking a break. She was so talkative and, as he was finding, full of many surprises.
At first, he had been nervous to paint her, as he was not accustomed to having human subjects, but he found himself actually enjoying himself. He liked the way that the colors of the paint could be changed by mixing them together, and how they made his painting look so realistic.
She was right, in a way. The finished work wouldn't have turned out correctly in simple black and white and grey. Because Ino was none of those things.
She is a kaleidoscope of colors, a ray of sunlight, a shining star. A compilation of all that he is not, and could ever dream of being. As it turns out, she is truly Miss Beautiful, inside and out. He cannot recall ever being so proud of his finished art.
"You're all done?" she asked, lowering the bouquet from her arms.
"Yes, but it has to dry now."
She sighed with relief. "Thank goodness, I was getting really stiff. I'll get us something to drink, m'kay?"
She stretched her arms with delight and placed the flowers back into the display. Sai wondered how long it would be before the painting was dried. He cleaned up the extra paint and put the tubes back in the large container. Ino returned to the front of the store with two glasses of water. They looked ice cold, and were dripping with condensation. He took a large gulp of water while Ino fixed her ponytail in a mirror.
With an accidental jerk of his wrist, a large splash of water flew onto the newly completed painting. He felt a sinking feeling in his chest when the half dried paint began to run everywhere. He was sure he was feeling very upset. All of his hard work was ruined by a stupid mistake.
The purples and blues and yellows continued to fade until they slowly mixed together.
"Wow, Sai-kun," Ino said from behind him. (When did she get there, he wondered?)
"I-I'm sorry, I spilled some water on it."
She just smiled and watched the colors bleed.
"That's okay. It's watercolor."
End
Hope you enjoyed it,
Paisley~