"So this is where you will sleep," said Jennifer, my step mom. To be honest I was expecting a pink room with a massive white bureau dresser. It was probably unfair on my part to jump to conclusions about Jennifer, considering I barely knew her, let alone her taste in decorating.
The room, to my surprise, had three beige walls and a balcony where the fourth should have been. The bed, which was pressed against the second wall, was massive. Then again everything about the room and the house was massive.
"The balcony is my favorite part." Not even realizing that Jennifer was still waiting in the hall way caused me to jump a little.
I was unsure how to respond to that type of comment. I'm not really the talkative type.
Living with my mom never really required me to speak. There was once a time when my mom was considered outgoing, young, vibrant, and beautiful. That person is long gone, but sometimes if you really look at her the traces of that young woman can appear.
"Okay well that's the final tour of the house. I will give you some privacy, so that you can unpack and get settled."
"Thanks." As she turned around and disappeared down the hallway, I seemed to drift out to the balcony. The sun was just starting to set over the neighborhood. Moments like this gave me time to sit back and try to get my life back together. Subconsciously my hand drifted towards the ring, which my mother gave me. I wear it as a necklace because I always seem to lose things that are most important to me. The sun set slowly and I decided to go back inside.
In the mist of my unpacking, my stomach started to growl. I walked down the stairs and wondered into the kitchen. Only to find Jennifer stirring some pots and pans. It smelled delicious, but I was in shock from having someone else cook dinner for me. Sensing my presence, she turned around.
"I wasn't sure what type of food you liked, but I thought spaghetti and meatballs would be okay."
"That fine," I said.
There was something about Jennifer that caused a pang of jealousy to flow through me. It wasn't her fault. She was tall, fair skinned, round faced, black hair and emerald eyes. It wasn't just her looks, but her bubbly personality. There was something about putting myself out there, which completely scared me. The idea that someone could remotely close to know the real me, scared me.
When dinner was done David, my dad, came home from work. We all sat at the dinner table and clearly there was an awkward silence. I was unsure what to say. The last time David and I spoke was when he left. He promised that he would come back for me and keep in touch, but somehow he never did.
When dinner was over I made my way back to my room. The laughter and squeals from down stairs made me feel like an intruder. Jennifer and David had made a life together and I didn't feel part of it.
That night I had the same reoccurring dream. In my dream my mom was still alive. We were happy again. She was sitting next to me, while I lay in my bed. My mother had the most beautiful voice. She sang to me and stroked my hair until I feel asleep.
When I woke up it was Saturday. I still had not finished unpacking my things. There were two reasons for that. One was that something about this whole situation felt temporary. The second was that I didn't own a lot of clothes. I had seemed to pick up three cargo shorts and a four tee shirt over the years.
Once I finished getting ready I walked down the stairs to see David and Jennifer waiting for me. It felt like I was under a microscope being analyzed. I hated the feeling of being the center of attention. I would rather just blend into the crowd.
David spoke first. "Good morning Samantha. Jennifer and I want to talk to you about school." I visibly relaxed. School was the one place where I thrived. Everything seemed to disappear. Before I was taken away from my old home and school, I was in all senior honors classes. I was in the running for valedictorian.
"Jennifer and I want to enroll you at Blakely Private School. It is about ten minutes from here. It's within walking distance, but we can drive you if you want."
"No, I'm fine with walking."
Jennifer, obviously eager to talk, jumped in. "Okay, we sent your transcripts. You start school Monday."
"Thanks."
I grabbed a blueberry muffin off the counter and said my goodbyes to the both of them. Then I proceeded to retreat to my room. The weekend flew by in a blur. Everything was happening so fast and I was confused and lost.
When the weekend was over, it was time for me to go to school. There was a soft knock on my door and the Jennifer's head pooped in.
"Good morning Sam. Is it okay if I call you Sam?"
I simply nodded my head. Then the strangest thing happened. Jennifer sat on my bed and then started to talk to me.
"Look, I know that you just got here and you are still getting settled, but I want you to know that you can come to me for anything. Money is not a problem. I love you like you are my own daughter. In fact I would like to take you shopping this weekend, if that's okay with you?"
"Yes, that's fine." I don't know what possessed me to say yes, but something about her speech seemed sincere.
"Oh and Sam, your school doesn't have a uniform policy. I don't know your size, but had gotten you some things anyway."
I slipped out of bed and started to get ready. When I opened my closet I quickly discovered her style. It was full of skirts, shirts, short shorts, vests, jeans, graphic tees, and sweats. I opted to stick with my own clothes. I wore a white tee shirt, which was about two sizes to big, a pair of brown cargo pants and brown converse. My necklace was under my shirt, but I could feel it pressed against my chest. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail and my glasses stood on my face.
I walked down the stairs and noticed Jennifer staring at me in shock.
The ride to school even thought it was short, was uncomfortable. It wasn't that it was too quite, because Jennifer rambled on excitedly about how amazing Blakely was. I felt uncomfortable with being in such an expensive car. It must have cost more than my mom and I's apartment. I felt completely self conscious sitting in the front of a 2010 BMW.
A few moments later we pulled into a parking lot full of expensive cars. This was not my element. I belonged in a public school, where everyone was equal and didn't matter how much money you have.
Jennifer quickly got out of the car and walked towards the office. I grabbed my red and black checkered school bag, got out of the car and followed suit.
When we arrived at the office, I noticed that the school wasn't open like my last. The only contact to the outside world were the giant windows. As I looked around, I saw stairs, lockers and lots of kids starring at me. That was the thing about living in a small town, everybody knew everybody. So when someone new showed up, they knew who you were. I could feel myself retreating into my shell. Not that I had really left it anyway.
I wasn't given much time to think of the eyes on me because the principal called Jennifer and I into his office. We shook hands and sat in the two chairs awaiting us.
"So Samantha I see that you are a senior and that you were in the top of your class."
I simply nodded my head. We continued to discuss my classes and schedule. When we were finished with the meeting, Jennifer had to leave and I was on my own. It wasn't a new concept to me, so I went to class.
My first class was AP Biology. As I walked in I could feel all eyes on me. Then the murmurs began to start. I handed the teacher my slip. While she read over it, I could feel myself growing smaller and smaller.
"Well class it seems that we have a new student. Her name is Samantha Puckett." Then she turned to me.
"Samantha, can you please take the seat at the back table next to Tucker."
"Yes Ma'am."
I quickly scrambled to my stool. I was thankful to be in the back. Then someone, who I assumed was Tucker, tapped me.
"Hey my name is Tucker."
Tucker had blonde hair, which was clearly dyed, with brown highlights. I think his outfit startled me the most. Tucker wore a pair of bright yellow skinny jeans, a pink graphic tee shirt that read 'queen bee', with a yellow scarf around his neck and pink converse. Everything about him was out there.
"My name is Sam."
"Is that short for Samantha? That's a pretty name."
A silence fell over the both of us. I decided to pay attention to the lesson, while Tucker just doodled into his note book.
The day continued to proceed like AP Biology. I was introduced to a new class and the students talked about me as if I wasn't there. The only difference was that nobody else tried to introduce themselves, like Tucker.
When lunch rolled around, I found myself sitting in the corner by myself, until Tucker approached me. We said our hi's and then we were silent again. I stared at my plate and picked at my food, while he stared at me. After some time I lifted my head and met his gaze. I started to squirm.
"Is there something on my face?" My hand drifted to my face.
"No, I'm just trying to figure you out." A small smirk appeared on his face as he spoke.
"Why," I asked, generally confused.
"Because you have so much potential to be pretty, yet you hide you body under clothes that obviously don't fit."
I was speechless. Some guy, who I just met, decided to criticize me. This is why I stayed in my shell.
"I have to go." Tucker noticed my haste.
"I have a feeling we are going to be best friends."
I got up and collected my things. I still had my head down, when I walked away and failed to see anyone in front of me. I crashed into something or someone. Before I could react, I was on the ground, doused in chocolate milk. The person quickly pulled me up.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry." The voice was surprisingly calming.
I didn't respond. I was busy looking down at the mess. My shirt seemed to have fused with my skin. I tried to cover myself, but the entire cafeteria erupted in laughter. I ran out of the cafeteria and the owner of the voice followed me.