Author's Note ~ This is my first FanFic Ever. I wanted Bella to go out with a BANG so to speak. And also please pardon the gramatical errors, i tried my hardest to get rid of them all.
~ This takes place in New Moon... In chapter 3.... starting on page 67.
HAPPY READING!!! And as the Joker once said. And..here.............
"Come for a walk with me." He suggested in an unemotional voice taking my hand. I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew I wanted to. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again. But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it through. So why was the panic choking me?
We'd gone only a few steps into the the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail- I could still see the house. Some walk. Edward leaned against the tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable. "Okay lets talk" I said. It sounded braver than it felt. He took a deep breath."Bella we're leaving" I took a deep breath too. This was an acceptable option.
I thought I was prepared, but I still had to ask. "Why now?, another year-"
"Bella it's time. How much longer can we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for 30 and he is saying that he is 33 we'd have to start over soon regardless." His answer confused me.
I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. He stared back coldly. Like a slap to the face I realized I had made the wrong assumption."When you say we..." I said in a hushed voice, so many feeling were rushing through me i couldn't pick the exact one I wanted to show; but sorrow was leaking into me strongest at the moment.
"I mean my family and myself"
Each word was slowly breaking me in two. It took me a second to think strait "Ok, i will come with you" Unfortunately I knew deep down I was part of the reason they decided to uproot so quickly."My world is not for you Bella" he said it almost like he was convincing himself, not me.
"You promised Edward, you promised that you would stay." Suddenly he was upset."As long as it is best for you." Of course he was going to use that against me. His eyes were careful to make no contact. Unwanted feelings were stirring up inside me, but I was not about to let him see how much this was shredding me apart.
No, most definitely not. I was going to fake it, it was going to be hard but i would not let him see how much i relied on him, my love. I could put on a thin veneer for just a moment, just long enough to make it back to my house to break down in peace. Alone. I mentally recoiled at the thought of being all alone, unwanted.
"Bella, i don't want you to come with me, I am tired of pretending to be something that I am not. I am just not human. Don't you see that?" He said this calmly ... slowly.
I tooka long moment to let it seep through my head. A small part of me told myself that what Edward was saying was preposterous, and purely a test to see how i would react, or something along those lines. But the other internally sinking feeling I had inside said otherwise. When it finally clicked I knew I was going to have to do this fast, because what he had just said had made me snap strait in two.
In a matter of moments every bit of sanity I had was going to go crashing down. Possiably pass the point of rehabilitation. Yet another deep breath from him and he glanced up from the pebble he was staring at. That was the moment I let him have it...
"Fine Edward, if you don't want me then so be it, I cant believe that I deluded myself into thinking that you could ever love me that way. To want to be with me for forever, or longer than that even. I was silly to think that a godlike creature like you could ever in a million years find me attractive, and good enough for you." I spat with as much acidity dripping from my voice as I could muster. "Pure insanity!! It was very wrong of you to lead me on like that. But now I see you for the monster you truly are. Not the one that you have convinced yourself you are, no, you are a much worse kind of monster." I was being dramatic but I figured let it happen. Make him know what he is leaving behind. And it wasn't like I was going to let him see me fall apart, just one more reason to leave.
He just stared at me like I was crazy. He was frozen with so many expressions dancing around in his eyes; but I kept going. "You get your wish, I will be forever mortal, and now forever mortal and alone." How very pathetic I am, no wonder he doesn't want me.
"You don't have me to worry about me, I will cope, I am just human after all, tell Alice and all the others i love them." And I looked at him one last time smiled a little fleeting smile and turned on my heels walked off. I slammed the front door shut, for emphasis, for if he was still standing were we were discussing the ending of quite possibly of love and life in general, he would be able to hear it. But as soon as I entered my room every tear within me had its turn to be cried out.
A/N~ ok please. i could be setting myself up here, but PLEASE REVEIW!!!! No flames please. Only niceness *bats eyelashes* please!
~ The Silver-Eyed Malfoy
