Unbelievable A Joe Fanfic

by divertotanmaldito

This is a Joe Jonas fanfic. I had no clue what to put it under so I guess this will do.

1. Chapters 1 to 19

1Chapter 1

"Alexa! You need to get started so we can get back to class!" Jess yelled at me from across the empty commons.

I sighed, "Jess, you know me better than anyone else. You know it takes awhile for me to warm up."

"Well can you hurry? My legs cramping and I'm bored" Jess whined.

"Fine. Hit it!" Jess hit play on the CD player and the slow music began to play, getting faster every second. I began to dance and twirl as I had been practicing for the past few months. I had been working vigorously on this audition piece for the Syracruse University College of Visual and Performing Arts.

I knew it was going to rough, but I figured that being a member of the International Thespian Society would help, as well as my markings at the last ITS convention.

But something else worried me. What if I wasn't beautiful enough? People have always told me I'm "pretty" but what if that isn't enough. I'll be honest I don't think I look THAT bad, with my light brown hair accented with blonde so light that it could be considered white, hints of red and a white streak racing through one strand of my bangs. My most complemented feature though, is said to be my eyes. I've heard them described as enigmatic green, blue and grey with gold centers, but that's debatable.

I continued to twirl and dance around lost deep in my thoughts and worries. So lost in fact, that I didn't realize someone was behind me...that is, until I tripped over him.

Chapter 2

"Sorry!" I squeaked, spinning around too quickly to see whom I'd just trampled and losing my balance. They stuck their arms out to stabilize me. They were barely touching me and yet I could feel their impressive strength.

I finally regained my balance and turned an outrageous color of red. The man and his two followers laughed at my embarrassment. I continued to spout apologies while fidgeting with my hair and hands. Something about these three seemed familiar, but I just brushed it off as I had that feeling a lot lately.

One of the three was carrying a small envelope and some loose papers. He looked down at them several times before calling his companions into a tight circle. They looked up at me several times before the one I tripped on walked over and asked, "You wouldn't happen to be Ms. Alexa Lawson, would you?"

The shock of these total strangers knowing my name got me at a loss for words and all I could say was "Um, yes. I am."

They smiled and handed me the envelope which I stared blankly at for several seconds before one of them instructed me to open.

I read through the letter at least five times trying to find some trace of what was surely a very big joke. "Surely, this isn't real!" I said while reading the letter a sixth time.

"Nope, it is 100 true." One of the three said.

I still couldn't believe it, but how was I supposed to? The boy-band sensation, the Jonas Brothers, had been looking for an opening performer. There had been a large contest with thousands of videos sent in from hopeful young teenagers craving to be on tour with the Brothers. I hadn't even entered and yet here I stood reading the letter claiming me as the winner.

"But this is impossible! I didn't even enter the contest!" I gawked, trying to find a hint of humor in their faces...I found none.

"Well, someone entered you. Your video came with this letter." One of them said, handing me a folded paper.

I skimmed the paper and its familiar writing. Once I saw the closing statement I knew exactly who had sent it. I knew that remark all to well to know it was none other than "Lucy..." I muttered twisting my face into a frown.

I politely declined the offer saying that it wasn't fair since I hadn't actually entered the contest. They offered me the opportunity of auditioning for them and their agent in person the following morning. I still couldn't fully believe that this was happening. That is, until the one I stumbled across removed his glasses.

I gasped as realization hit me "Oh my God, you're..."

"Hey, I'm Joe." the stranger said..

Chapter 3

"This is unbelievable!" I thought to myself as I stared at none other than Joseph Jonas! "Oh my gosh! You're Joe!"

Joe quietly put his finger to his mouth and smiled, hinting for me to take it down a notch. I looked over at his to companions. "And they're..." I started.

"Yep, That's Kevin and Nick." Joe smiled as Kevin and Nick flashed quick smiles from under their disguises.

"So.."Joe began, "if you want to audition in person, then come by to this address tomorrow morning at 10:30."

I knew the address well, it was the small theatre in town under renovation. I told them I'd think about it and said goodbye...like eight times.

Once they left I just and gazed at the wall trying to imagine the possibilities of what had just occurred. Then I saw Lucy come around a corner and start down the hall. I charged at her letting out a ferocious battle-cry as I tackled her and pinned her to the ground. My inner beast growled at her, "I don't know whether I should hug you or hit you."

Lucy pushed herself closer to the floor terrified. "What!?" she shrieked.

I flashed the letter she had written and she instantly relaxed giving me a VERY cheesy smile. I got off her and she stood up still smiling. "So I guess you aren't going to kill me now?"

I gave her a hug and patted her roughly on the cheek. "I don't know," I said before giving her a wink and walking off down the hall.

"You'll thank me later, Alexa!" she called after me.

"Goodbye, Longlegs." I replied feeling a little too full of myself.

Chapter 4

I reread the letter as often as I could throughout the rest of the day and on into the night, taking time to stop and envelope every word of every sentence. I went through every song I had written hoping to find something that just stuck out, but that's where my lack of creativity is strongest. After hours of hopeless searching I finally decided on some songs we had done for a school production of "The 1940's Radio Hour."

The next morning I awoke to my cat pawing at my nose. I looked at the ceiling for several moments before fully taking in the amount of light flooding through the closed shades. Did I dare roll over and look at the clock? Might as well.

"Whew..." I sighed as rolled of the bed and into the floor. It was only ten till seven. I decided to just skip school that day, no one would be too worried as I'm almost always there. I headed out to the porch, it was a bit chilly outside this mid-April morning. I sat admiring the sunrise as it rose above the mountains of my small, western North Carolina town. I got up and did some yoga for about thirty minutes before venturing inside to grab a bite to eat.

I then spent about an hour trying to add some dance to the songs I would be performing for the Jonas Brothers and their agent. Just the thought of those three watching me dance got my insides all twisted. I finished and began getting ready. After a quick shower I went through my closet TRYING to find something to wear. I finally decided on a pair of black tights that cut-off right below my knees, a strapless black top and breezy black sun dress that I often practiced in. I don't usually wear make-up so I naturally didn't even think about it.

I looked at the clock, 10:09. My heart started thumping. Just about 20 minutes before I see the Brothers again. I headed out after explaining to my mother why I hadn't gone to school. She agreed that I should go, recognizing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and my obvious infatuation with the trio.

I drove towards the theatre with butterflies rampant in my stomach. It took everything in me to pull into the side parking lot. I walked towards the door but soon felt an almost magnetic force drawing me back to my car. I was on the verge of turning around when Kevin walked out of the theatre followed closely by Nick and Joe. "Crap, they saw me." was all I could think as my escape attempt had been stopped early.

They smiled and said good morning. I followed them into the stage area where their agent was waiting. We exchanged pleasantries and they explained to me what they were looking for. They left the stage and I made an exit, stage-right to prepare myself.

Chapter 5

I sat down on a bench to make sure me shoes were on tight. When I tried to stand up my legs felt like Jell-O and I had to sit again. After going through a couple of deep breathing exercises I figured I was ready to get out there.

I walked out to center stage and bowed before taking position and nodding to the pianist I had arranged to play with me. I started singing and found myself amazed at the sound coming out of my mouth. I'd never heard myself sing like this before, it was incredible

"He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way
He had a boogie style that no one else could play
He was the top man at his craft
But then his number came up and he was gone with the draft
He's in the army now, blowing reveille
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B

They made him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam
It really brought him down because he could not jam
The captain seemed to understand
Because the next day the cap' went out and drafted a band
And now the company jumps when he plays reveille
He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of Company B"

It was a little old fashioned but it was the only thing I could find suitable to perform. When it was over I re-positioned myself for the next song.

"Never treats me sweet and gentle
The way he should
'Cause I got it bad, and that ain't good

My poor heart is sentimental
Not made of wood
I got it bad, and that ain't good

But when the weekend's over
And Monday rolls around
My man and me,
we pray some,
we gin some
and sin some

He don't love me
Like I love him
Nobody couldI got it bad, and that ain't good

Now folks with good intentions
Tell me to save my tears
I'm glad I'm mad about him
I can't live without him

Lord above me,
Make him love me
The way he should

Like a lonesome weeping willow
lost in the wood
The way I hug my pillow
No woman should
Because I got it bad, and that ain't good"

I tried to make myself sound as smooth and sultry as possible, and I must have done pretty good, because when I looked up everyone's mouth was hanging open. I looked down to make sure my clothes were still on incase that was the deal...they were. So I bowed and was leaving stage when I noticed that Joe had a video camera. My eyes got wide as I saw him fiddle around with the buttons until it shut off. OH MY GAH!! Joe Jonas had just recorded me, and as lovely as it seemed, it was also quite horrifying. What was he going to do with it?

Once off stage I heard people jump up and clap. I walked out a side door and the four viewers made their way to me. Around this time three more professional looking people walked into the back of the theatre and the agent left to speak with them.

The boys took turns gushing at me.
"That was amazing!"
"You were great!"
"You should totally get it!"

These complements were very uplifting but then a familiar worry popped up. Are those other people agents too? What if they don't like me? What if I'm not pretty enough?

The agent came back and spoke with the boys for a few minutes, then came to me. "The others are going to review this video Joe took. They would like to meet you before making a decision. They have reservations at the Country Club near here. I'm guessing you know where it is since you're a native. Be there at 5:30, dress sharp-casual. See you then." and the agent left followed by the other three agents.

I looked at my phone, 11:23, it had taken almost an hour. I was fighting with myself on whether or not to go to school when the Brothers came over to me.
Kevin started, "Something wrong? You looked troubled."

"Oh no, just arguing with myself" I replied instantly feeling stupid for such a strange answer.

"Awkward." Joe muttered out the side of his mouth.

I stared at him and gave him a frumpy look. Then my stomach started growling and I turned fire engine red. The Brothers just laughed and said it was ok.

"So what are you going to do now?" Nick asked.

"I thought about going to school after getting lunch" I replied staring at a focal point in the center of the three. Joe laughed, "Yeah, might wanna tame that beast before you do anything."

I blushed and laughed along with them. Joe's stomach started growling. "Oh look who's talking now!" I laughed pointing at his stomach. After the laughter had died down I asked them if they wanted to get something to eat. They agreed but only if I could recommend a good coffee shop.

I did, it was no problem as it is the only coffee shop/café in town. We ordered and sat in one of the window seats talking and eating for about two hours before I finally told them I need to get going. They were reluctant but let me go without guilt. As I rose to leave, so did they. They each gave me a hug as I went out the door. But one of them made my heat jump. As I hugged Joe he whispered in my ear, "You did great up there beautiful." and with that they took off down the street chasing each other.

"So much for a low profile." I thought as I walked to my car laughing over my shoulder. I got in my car and headed home. It was only about 2:00 when I got home, so I decided to take a nap until time to get ready for the dinner that might possibly change my life.

Chapter 6

I woke up at five till four. I had just a little over an hour and a half to get ready. I got up and called a few people to get the work I missed then went to take a shower (yes, I am a very clean person.) Since this dinner could change my life I decided I'd better prepare myself more.

After my shower I curled my hair. My hair already has some natural curl, but a little assistance never hurt. I decided I would wear a knee length brown skirt, a silky light green blouse with flared sleeves ending at the elbow and a white sash around my waist as a belt. Being such a rare occasion I even put on a little make up.

At 5:15 I decided to head out. I knew it wouldn't take that long since the Country Club was just across the road and through the woods from my house. I pulled in at 5:23. I had time so I checked my make up and hair before going in.

I told the waitress who I was with and she led me back through the club house to a private dining hall. Everyone was already there; Joe, Kevin, Nick, Mr. & Mrs. Jonas, Frankie, the agent and the three other professional looking people I'd seen earlier.

Everyone stood as I entered the room and Joe introduced everyone. I was placed at one end of the table between a very sweet looking Mrs. Jonas who insisted that I call her Denise and Nick/ As I sat down I saw Joe poke Nick and whisper something near his ear causing Nick to chuckle and look over at me. But a raised eyebrow from their mother cut them off quickly.

Orders were taken and I made small talk with the family while Mr. Jonas spoke with the agents. Dinner came and everyone ate in relative silence broken only by the quiet laughing of the brothers as they made quick, unnoticed faces across the table. There was a small buzz and Kevin occupied himself with something under the table while Joe made some of the funniest faces I had ever seen at him. Joe noticed I had started giggling and winked at me causing the heat to rise in my cheeks.

Once the plates were cleared away a large man in a business suit at the opposite end of the table started talking to me. "So Ms. Lawson, you say that you didn't enter into the Jonas Brothers contest?"

"No sir," I replied remembering my manners. "It was a friend of mine who took a video of me practicing."

"Yes, we saw it, as well as the one taken today at your audition."

I sat in silence shifting my gaze from face to face as the four professionals studied me. Finally a woman from the group spoke up. "So Ms. Lawson, how old are you?"

"I just turned 17," I said hoping it wouldn't ruin my chances.

"So you're only a junior in high school then?" another professional asked.
"Actually sir, I'm a senior. I graduate in about one month." I said as I began to play with the tablecloth.

The agent finally spoke, "Where are your parents right now? Would they be able to meet with us?"

A spark of hope surged through my body as I answered. "Yes, they should be home by now."

It was then requested that I make a call to them. So I politely excused myself and left the room to call. I went outside and called home, when my mother answered I squealed loudly into the phone causing her to drop hers. I apologized and told her everything. She told me they would be on their way immediately. So I returned to the room and took my seat.

The professionals began to explain what was going on. They told me if I was to tour with the Brothers then I would have to live on the tour bus with them. I already live with three guys, so it should be just like home. They also said that since the tour was during the summer, I should go ahead and apply to colleges incase tour life doesn't suit me.

My parents arrived about ten minutes after I called. After introducing them to everyone, the Brothers and I were asked to leave the room. Out in the hall we spoke quietly and made faces at each other until Mrs. Jonas came to get Joe, Kevin and Nick, leaving Frankie in the hall with me.

"Hey Frankie, come sit down." I said patting the floor across from me. He obliged and sat and stared at me while I thought of something to say. I finally just decided to talk about him, what he liked to do and stuff.

After about five minutes Kevin came to get Frankie, waving at me before he disappeared back into the room. "Ah, this is great." I thought. "They're discussing me and I'm not even there!"

Finally Joe appeared at the door and I was led back into the room. I took my seat as everyone stared at me .It was an awkward silence but no one dared speak. I looked pleadingly at my parents to get some hint of what was going on.

My mother saw my face and finally asked "What are you taking with you?"

I couldn't believe this had to be the greatest day of my life!!

Chapter 7

The next four weeks went by so slowly I could hardly stand it. The Jonas Brothers and their entourage left the night after the dinner when I found out I would be touring with them over the summer. Since then I busied myself completing college applications and preparing my audition for Syracruse U.

It finally came down to the day of my audition after weeks of planning practices around AP exams, concerts, recitals and stage production. I was so nervous as I looked at the scouts sitting in the near empty auditorium. My favorite and most supportive teacher, Mrs. "Mama" Holtzclaw, stood at the back giving me a thumbs up.

It felt like the day I had performed for the brothers all over again, except worse. The outcome of this recital could have a serious impact on my future, more so than touring with the Jonas', which made it all the more terrifying.

It finally came time to perform. I placed the utmost care and precision in my movements. The show went on for a good thirty minutes. When done, I was given an applause and was told that I would receive their answer in about one week.

I waited that entire one week for that letter. It finally came but I delayed opening it until I was with Mama Holtzclaw. The only time I could see her was in class, so I carefully opened the neat letter only to be crushed by the first six words. "We are sorry to inform you," was all that I could read before fleeing the room in tears and embarrassment.

I was devastated. I was rejected because my style wasn't up to their standards and my dancing lacked emotion. But it was out of my control. All I could do was sit back and hope to be accepted by other colleges, which I was. If things didn't work out with the tour I would be attending Wake Forest University or ETSU next fall.

Although the rejection from Syracruse was crippling, I finished out my high school career and finally graduated. I was unable to attend any post-graduation parties but knowing the concert tour was just a little over a week away sent chills through me.

We left the day after graduation for my cousins wedding in Florida which was wonderfully relaxed and casual. We spent the remainder of the week in my hometown of Kissimmee. Then that Saturday, I boarded the plane to be flown directly to L.A. where I would stay with the Jonas' for a few days until the tour began. I was so psyched!!

Chapter 8

After several long hours on the plane, it finally touched down in L.A. I walked out of the terminal and saw a rather large looking man hold a sign labeled "LAWSON." It was the only one I saw so I walked over to the man an introduced myself. He smiled and shook my hand before gathering my luggage and leading me out the door.

I slipped into the back of a small black car and the man, who must have been Big Rob, drove away, destination: the Jonas Homestead. I have no idea how long it took to reach the house, I was so entranced by this city so foreign to me. Finally we pulled up in front of a beautiful two-storied house.

Upon seeing the car, the occupants filed out of the house to welcome me to their home. After warmly greeting each of them I was led inside. The boys started arguing over who was going to show me the house. I laughed as they bargained and flipped coins. After a few minutes I told them that they could decide who the tour guide would be later.

I was really tired and just asked to be shown to wear I would be staying. This brought around yet another argument, eventually put to rest by Mrs. Jonas who stated that since I would be staying in Joe's he would be the one to lead me. I must admit I was slightly shocked to know that I would be sleeping in Joe's room. There was something thrilling about the thought of laying in his bed... The feeling registered on my face and I was reassured that it was no trouble.

Joe led the way down to his room in the basement carrying part of my luggage being the gentleman that he is. He gave me a quick tour of his room before getting ready to depart back to the surface. I apologized for getting him kicked out his room, but he just lightly pushed me saying I would probably have done the same for him. I just smirked throwing my eyebrows up and shrugging causing Joe to put on a face of mock hurt. I laughed and told him I was only kidding while holding up a peace sign. He laughed and left the room. Once he was gone, I explored his room a little, looking at all the pictures and posters on his walls. I decided I would go to bed even though it was barely 7:00.

The next morning I woke before anyone else. I took this moment of solitude to explore the ground floor while it was empty. I walked out onto the terrace behind their house to greet the morning with my ritualistic yoga. I sat in silence absorbing the sounds around me when I heard footsteps. I turned to see Nick heading across the deck to greet me.

"Morning, sleepyhead." he said with a smile.

"Hey mornin'." I replied remembering an old joke I had with my friends. "Does everyone always sleep this late?"

"Late? What are you talking about? Its only 7:30. Joe and Kev usually aren't up for another four hours." Nick said laughing at my face of disbelief.
I shrugged, "forgive me, I'm just a little old mountain girl. This is late for me."

We continued talking for a few minutes before we were joined by Mr. & Mrs. Jonas, and eventually Frankie. We conversed for a few minutes, or what we could between yawns. To my surprise Joe walked out.

I mimicked Nick, "Joe and Kev won't be up for another four hours." I said nudging him.

Joe, rubbing sleep from his eyes, replied, "I wouldn't have but mom made us be quiet since Sleeping Beauty needed her rest," he said bowing towards me.

I laughed and struck my most royal pose causing everyone to chuckle. I decided to take a morning jog in order to take in more of the city, so I made my way back to Joe's room to change. I met Joe on the steps after changing and he offered to jog with me. I accepted, never refusing the company of a fellow jogger...or Jonas.

We jogged a few blocks in every direction taking in the morning buzz of the city. We stopped at a café and grabbed drinks, which we quickly consumed before taking off towards his home. Joe challenged me to a race the last block before reaching his house. Being a star of the track team at school and holding several school and state records I easily beat him although he would deny it saying I cheated somehow.

We finally returned and I sat on the doorstep cooling off before entering. I laughed as I heard Joe exclaiming to the others my athleticism. I was having such a good time here already, I almost wished we weren't going on tour.

Chapter 9

I spent about three days at the Jonas house before the tour started. The morning we were due to leave, we were taken to a studio about ten miles from the house in order to keep their residential location under wraps. I was so excited as we pulled up to the large tour bus. I pinched myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

We loaded the bus and got our bunk assignments. Mine was under Nick, directly across from Joe. We spent some time putting our belongings away before stepping back off the bus to speak with the agent who gave us itineraries and concert dates. This was it, it was actually happening.

We piled back onto the bus and looked out the windows at the ground which seemed so far below. The bus lurched forward and I toppled to the floor busting my nose on the arm of the couch. Blood started pouring and everyone freaked out. I'm a grade a klutz so it didn't bother me that bad. I spent the next five minutes cleaning myself up in the bathroom. "Wow," I thought, "left five minutes ago and I've already injured myself."

I exited the bathroom and was shortly harassed by all the Jonas', it was nerve-wracking but I knew it was only because they cared. As I passed by the bunks, Joe and Kevin jumper up and escorted me to the couch, speaking in tones dripping with humor and mock pity. I sat down laughing and playfully pushed them away from me.

The guys sat down and the four of us stared at each other in awkward silence. Then in union they announced, "Bored."

I turned my head sideways trying to comprehend how these three could be bored so quickly. I got up and moved to my messenger bag to get a drawing pad and pencils. I sat back down and told them to do something interesting and I'd draw them. The sat and stared at me. I stared back. Finally I gave up, hanging my head and sighing. They laughed and moved around.

Kevin had plugged up a playstaion and stuck Guitar Hero in challenging every breathing organism in the area to a round. I sat and drew the brothers as they rocked out on the tiny guitars. Once Kevin had shown his impressive abilities he challenged yours truly. I told him to pick whatever since I had played it a few times before. He choose a song on the expert level. I started dancing around, ready to show Kevin who he was messing with. The song started and we jammed. I was kicking Kevins behind most of the game as his brothers laughed. It was a close game, but I was still winning, until someone poked me in the side and jumped letting out a scream. Kevin took the advantage and beat me. I whirled around to see who had poked me only to find Joe pointing at what he thought was Nick. I grabbed a pillow and jumped at Joe beating him to floor through laughs and objections. He grabbed my legs and pulled them out from under me, causing me to fall. Thankfully I landed on the coach, but rolled off when I started laughing.

The first concert was just three days away and I had no idea what I was going to sing. I found out we were stopping by a studio along the way and I would get help writing a song and adding choreography.
We stopped and I met the writers and djs I'd be working with. I headed with them to the studio while the boys headed to an interview. We wrote a few songs and managed to add some dance to them. They also decided that I was going to need back-up dancers. So they sent out the contest information and headed out to lunch. When I returned I found the brothers in the studio singing some of their songs. So I went and sat in the opposite room looking in on them. They stopped playing and I complemented them. It must have shocked them. Joe spun around knocking over the microphone stand and Nick practically laid down o the keyboard. I just laughed as they yelled and made faces at me.

We boarded the bus and headed on to the concert location. Everything was set up. It was so unbelievable. After touring the venue we headed to our hotel and settled in for the night. We woke early the next morning and had breakfast together before the big day.

Around 10:00 we returned to the venue. The brothers went off to sound check and I found my way to the stage. There the piano Nick would be playing. I couldn't resist, I had to go play on it. I went over and took a seat playing a few little songs from memory. Then I decided to sing. AS I started playing one of my favorite songs I had the feeling I was being watched, but I figured it was just the thought of the venue being filled with screaming people.

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

"If I should die before I wake
It's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air ,Oh"

I was prepared to sing the male's parts as well when they came out of nowhere.

"I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave
My heart won't move, it's incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand"

I knew that voice, but it sounded so different. I continued playing, waiting for my mysterious partner to come out of hiding.

"But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe "

Myself and the hidden singer started the chorus at the same time and Joe walked out from behind a curtain.

"Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there It's no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gonna be without me
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe
It's no air, no air"

I just stopped and smiled at him. He nodded for me to continue. So I resumed and we finished the song. Then there was applause from behind us as the rest of his family, the band and the stage crew all cheered for us. We bowed and made our way over to them. Nick and Kevin were crazy.

"You guys were amazing." Nick yelled.

"That was pretty awesome." Kevin said patting us on the back.

Mrs. Jonas sent everyone away. "You two should do a duet." She said pulling us both into a hug. "Why don't you try writing a song together."

Joe and I just smiled at each other. Suddenly I was lost. Staring into his eyes was like drifting away on a cloud of warmth. His gaze never left mine. It was such a comfortable connection that I didn't want to leave. But someone yelling brought us back to reality and we dropped the connection immediately, both of use showing heat in our cheeks. "Joe, get to sound check!" The voice called again. "You too Alexa." We smiled shyly at each other before heading off towards the sound room.

Thirty minutes until the show I though as I finished applying what little make-up I was wearing. As I left my dressing room I was told to report to Mr. Jonas for lockdown. "What the heck?" I thought. I found Mr. Jonas and he explained everything. I went into the room to find the boys jumping around and singing short segments of songs. I went to a corner and stretched, trying to calm the stirring in my stomach. Lockdown was completed and we left the room and headed for the stage. I heard the screaming of thousands of girls. It was insane, I could hardly hear anything.

The boys had taken position near a microphone just off-stage while I hooked a small mic over my ear. I went and stood behind a curtain taking one last look over my shoulder at the boys. Joe caught my eye and gave me a wink, which I returned. The brothers began speaking to the crowd, which screamed even louder at the sound of their voices.

"Good evening! Everybody ready to have fun?"
"Tonight is going to be an extra special show! So we hope you enjoy!"
'Please, everyone welcome, Alexa Lawson!"

Chapter 10

I ran out onto the stage waving at everyone. I was receiving mixed signals. Frowning faces, hands on hips or tucked under arms, but there was cheering, not like there was for the Brothers but it was still there. Feeling a little discouraged but completely determined I spoke to the crowd for a moment before launching into the first song. It went better than I had hoped. Some of the faces turned and hands left their original locations. Feeling better, I performed the second song before thanking the crowd and riling them up for "The Jonas Brothers!" before I ran off stage hearing the brothers complement me on a job well done.

They started performing and it was like my feet had left the ground. It was so awe-inspiring to watch them sing and dance out in front of so many, knowing that they we're loved by everyone in the audience. It felt lonesome to be out there alone, but maybe people will like me in time.

As the show ended I was called back on stage and given the opportunity to bow with the brothers. It was nice, even through the glares I felt piercing my back when I turned. We left the stage and they jumped on me, hugging and patting me on the back for my first performance.

I headed back for the dressing room when they went to sign autographs figuring that no one would want mine. I'll never know, but I was probably right. They returned about thirty minutes later and we returned to the hotel.

We woke the next morning and had breakfast before jumping back on the bus. It was a few hours till we got to the next city and as I thought, the boys were already bored. I managed to persuade them to dance with me. I taught them what I knew about swing and flamenco dancing. Nick wanted to learn ballroom dancing, but I had never been very good at it, so I was unable to help him.

We still hadn't arrived when it got dark so we got ready for bed on the bus. Mr. & Mrs. Jonas put Frankie to bed and soon followed. An hour or so later everyone else followed, except me. I just couldn't sleep, so I stayed up and drew. After a little while Joe got up and came in. He sat down and watched me draw. It was two dancers spinning around in fancy gowns and suits. After a few minutes he looked at me and asked me to teach him more about flamenco dancing.

We cleared the floor and I gave him another thirty minute crash course in flamenco. I stood by giving him advice as he danced with an invisible partner. Then during one sweep he took one of my hands in his and placed the other on my hip and began waltzing. Hmm...this boy new a little something about dancing. After a few minutes he stopped and bowed before me, kissing my hand and thanking the"Oh so fair teacher." I gave him a curtsey before turning and seeing Mrs. Jonas standing beside the bunks, smiling. I separated myself quickly from Joe, blushing all over. She just laughed and told me how good I was, at which Joe nodded vigorously. She ruffled Joes hair sending us off to bed.

The next day Mrs. Jonas took me shopping while Mr. Jonas and the boys went to a studio. I thought I was an intense shopper, but nothing compared to Mrs. Jonas. Nothing could escape that womans grasp. Every scarf, skirt, blouse, dress and shoe somehow found its way to her cart. After about three hours of industrial strength shopping we returned to the bus to wait on the boys. They were already there. I dropped the bas with a thud and flopped down on the couch with exaggerated gasping.

We dressed low-key, trying to stay unnoticed. Walking along towards the restaurant we were approached by a group of girls. They got overly excited when they saw us and I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

"Are you Alexa Lawson?" one of them asked. I could see her clenching her fist and decided it was time to put my acting skills to work.

"Who?" I replied sounding puzzled.

"You know, that girl touring with the Jonas Brothers."

"Oh no, sorry, I'm not a fan of them." I replied lying through my teeth. "I'm Carmen, this is my boyfriend, Anthony." I said looping my arm under Kevin's. "And this is my cousin, Jon." indicating Joe.

"Oh," replied the girls looking quite disappointed. "You guys looked so much like the Jonas Brothers. Sorry to bother you. Bye."

"Bye." We said walking off. Joe and Kevin turned to look at me in disbelief. "Just keep walking." I muttered through me teeth.

Once we rounded the corner they broke off from me, demanding to know how I managed to keep my cool.

"What? I'm hungry." I said shrugging. "And a improv genius."

We laughed and continued on to the restaurant.

--

The next day we woke early for the concert, had breakfast like the morning of the previous one, and headed for the venue.

The events were much the same as they had been before, minus the part where Joe and I sung together. I went through lockdown again, and felt the same rush as I had before. I went out on stage, dying for someone to be out there with me. It wouldn't be long. The back-up dancers had been chosen and we had been working on the choreography. I received much of the same reaction from the crowd, and afterwards went back to the dressing room during autographs.

It started storming so we were asked to remain in the break room until it cleared enough to walk out, or the fans left and the bus could be moved closer, whichever came first. Kevin and Nick were battling it out on Guitar hero, while their parents and the band spoke over coffee. Joe and I made an attempt at writing a song only to end up killing about10 trees and falling asleep in the floor.

I was woken sometime after eleven, by my phone. I looked at the screen. "Oh crap!" I thought. It was him...

Chapter 11

I stared at my phone debating on whether or not to answer. Memories of Joseph flashed before my eyes. What could he want now? It's been two years. Against my better judgment I flipped open the phone. "Hello?"

"Alexa! Baby! What's up?" The smooth voice at the other end of the line responded.

I replied coolly "What do you want?"

"Listen, I know things didn't workout before. But I've changed. You we're the best thing that ever happened to me." It was almost begging.

Emotionless I answered, "Good enough to bring you back to reality? Joe, I'm not stupid. You never cared about me. I was just another toy for you."

"No, baby, don't say it like that." He replied TRYING to care.

"No, I want nothing to do with you!"

He became aggressive, "Listen you filthy skank, you'll be mine again or I'll make your life miserable. I'll make sure you can't show your face on stage ever again."

That word..."skank"...it brought back painful memories. Memories of finding out I was being cheated on. Memories of Joseph slapping me and calling me a sank when I confronted him. And memories of the bullet that barely missed me. His accusations of me being a sank could have destroyed my reputation, if so many people hadn't trusted me. The police found no suspect, but I knew who had shot the gun at my window that night.

"You wouldn't dare." I muttered into the phone.

"Watch me." He said before hanging up.

I sat in the floor, chills running through my spine. Breathing became faster and I broke out into cold sweat. Then the tears started. I couldn't hold them back. I had something amazing going on in my life, and one person I cared about least was about to ruin it. I looked over at Joe to see him still asleep on the floor. Nick and Kevin had finally burned down and slumped against each other. I quietly left the room.

I paced the floor trying to get hold of someone. Finally someone answered.

"Brianna! I need your help!" I cried into the phone.

"What?!" she replied almost frantically.
"Joe is trying to ruin everything!" I sobbed.

"Why? I thought your tour was going great."

"Not Joe Jonas, Bomar."

"Oh, that ahole again?" I told her everything that had just transpired. She was about to answer when I received a text. I asked her to hold on while I checked it. It was from Joseph...a death threat. I sent it to Brianna to read. She responded immediately and told me she was taking it to the police, even though it was almost 3 am where she was.

"Alexa, I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. I'll do whatever I can. Call your parents, maybe they'll know what to do."

"Thanks Bri. I love you, I really wish you were here with me."

"I love you too, Al. Now go call your parents!"

I was hanging up when I heard something that stopped my heart. It was Frankie."Momma, something's wrong with Alexa!"

I rushed for the door. I trusted the Jonas' but I didn't want to get them involved. I never made it to the door. I slipped on some wire and landed hard on my side. Shortly after impact the door opened and Mr. & Mrs. Jonas appeared. After explaining everything, and sending the text I received to my parents, they had it! I was to send my phone home so they could deliver it to the police, and they would send me a new phone with a new number. I felt truly blessed to have two such wonderful sets of parents in my life. I spent the rest of the night copying my address book down. I decided to keep all of it from the brothers, just so they wouldn't worry.

--

It had been 4 weeks since the ordeal with Joseph. He continued sending death threats which was now in possession of the police. He was caught, trialed and sentenced to set amount of time in jail.

Dear diary,

Things are going great. I still haven't told the boys about what happened that night, though. The fans have started liking me more. My dancers now accompany me on stage and we get the venue hopping! Joe and I continue to have "moments" every now and then, but nothing major. We have yet to write a song though. I received troubling news recently. Apparently grandpa is sick, and having trouble getting better. He'll pull through, I know he will. He is, after all, the man that told me to never left something so small cause such great grief. Of course that was at tennis but it can apply here to. Well gtg. We're going to watch a movie now.

Ta!
Lex

I closed my diary and locked it, setting it back into my messenger bag. I made my way to the couch on the bus where all the boys were already gathered. It was getting dark so we shut off most of the lights and managed to squeeze all four of us onto the couch.

Midways through the movie I got a call. I shifted to the edge of the couch to listen. I sat listening to the caller. "What?!" I replied after a moment. A tear slowly slid down my cheek.

Chapter 12

I didn't want the boys to see me cry, so I went and sat on my bunk. "But, why?" I asked into the phone.

"Honey, he's just tired of fighting it. He's ready to go."

"But he can't, mom. He just can't!"

"Sweetie, he's made up his mind. Asking them to do anything would be like forcing him to live. They've already got him on a morphine drip. It would mean everything to him if you could visit."

I was silent. "I'll try mom. I'll try." I whispered into the phone. We said goodbye and I sat staring at the floor, trying to hold everything back. Joe came through and sat across from me. I couldn't look at him.

"Hey." He whispered gently. "You ok?"

I nodded my head. He knew I was lying, he must have. I got up and went to the back off the bus to find Mrs. Jonas. Walking through the dim hallway was so depressing. I started to lose control. I was in tears when I came to the room. She was lying on the bed reading a book. "Mrs. Jonas" I said trying to regain control of my emotions.

She sat up when I entered, wasting no time is asking me what was wrong. I sat down in front of her, trying to piece together the sentences to tell her my dilemma. I couldn't take it any longer. I collapsed into Mrs. Jonas's lap. "I need...to go...home." I managed to gasp between sobs. She brushed my hair as I laid on her lap and told her everything. She was going to help me get home.

She led me to my bunk and tucked me in. It had been so long since anyone had done that. Before she went away I leapt up and hugged her tightly. "Thank you." I whispered as I hugged her. She didn't say anything, only hugged me tighter.

I was laying on my bunk facing the wall. I heard someone approach. I rolled over and Joe was kneeling by my bunk.

"Hey" I whispered beating him to it. "Hey" he replied taking my hand and squeezing it. "Everything will be ok." He said smiling.

I gave him a small smile before sitting up and hugging him. He hugged me back. I rested my head on his shoulder and quickly fell asleep.

--

The next morning I boarded a plane. I was due to arrive home shortly before 1:00. My family had arranged for me to be picked up at the airport. I was taken directly to the hospital. I made my way to the floor my grandfather was being kept and found his room easily due to all the familiar faces cluttering the hall.

My mother ran and pulled me into a hug. I was taken into the room which was beeping with so many machines. I almost cried just seeing him laying there like that. I spoke with him for over an hour. I finally came to accept the fact that he was ready to die. I left the room and visited with my cousins and other relatives.

I stayed up for several days with my grandfather telling him about the tour and everything else going on in my life. I couldn't eat. It just wasn't in me to consume anything.

One day, everyone was gathered around his bed when the machines started going haywire. Doctors and nurses appeared out of nowhere and forced my family from the room. After five minutes of commotion the machines flat-lined. Family members began falling to the floor in tears. I leaned back against a wall, tears streaming down my face. I had come to accept his decision, but I just couldn't accept his death.

I took off running. I didn't know where I was going. I ended up in the elevator. I hit the first floor button. I slid down the back wall and began crying. The elevator stopped. No one got on. Then heard someone running as the door closed. The got in just as the door shut. I didn't look up. I didn't care.

I felt two strong hands gently take hold of my arms and lift me off the floor. I stood with my eyes shut pointed towards the floor. "Hey" the soft, familiar voice whispered. I stood there for a moment before burying my face and crying into Joe's chest.

Chapter 13

I stood there crying into Joe's chest for a long time. The elevator began rising, but I was lost in another world. My mother was walking down the hall as the doors opened. She stopped when she saw Joe holding me. Joe looked up and closed the doors as she walked away smiling a little. I had kept my face buried the whole time listening to Joe sing "Hold On" in my ear.

We rode the elevator for several more minutes. We finally came to a stop on the floor my family was on. I backed away and looked Joe in the eyes briefly before hugging him tightly around the neck.

My parents met us in the hallway. The family was leaving and the visitation was the next day, so we headed home. It was the first time Joe had ever been to my house, so I gave him the grand, if not depressing, tour. He slept in the guest room that night. It felt so good to be back in my own room. I went to bed early hugging everyone before I did.

I woke the next morning and showered. I decided to wear a pair of black dress pants and a dark green silk shirt with a black coat. I dressed and went to wake Joe. To my surprise, not only was he up, but he was dressed and waiting with my parents.

"Morning sleeping beauty." He said gazing at me.

I gave him a half smile, sitting down in front of the fire. I stared at the ring on my finger. It was a purity ring, inlaid with my birth stone, given to me by my grandfather on my 15th birthday. A tear escaped as I stared at it glistening in the fire. My father walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder, wiping away my tear. We then headed for the visitation., which was an hour away.

We got their early, the only others waiting were the family of my fathers older sister. Over the course of an hour, the rest of our family trickled in. We lined up around the edges of the large room, ready to accept visitors. My grandfather had been a well-known doctor, so naturally he had made a lot of acquaintances. I was swamped by unfamiliar faces claiming they remembered the day I was born.

It was uneventful for the most part. Joe stood behind me most of the time, until he got a call and left the room. He was gone for several minutes before returning followed by the rest of his family. I was so touched to see them, here, and now. I began crying as I hugged all of them. I then walked around the room introducing them to my family.

We finished the evening, heading home with the entire Jonas clan in-tow. We sat around the fire most of the night talking. Sleeping arrangements were tight but we managed. Mr. & Mrs. Jonas slept in the guest room, Kevin in my older brothers room, Nick in the basement, and Joe, Frankie and I in mine. We woke early the next morning to attend lunch catered for our family. Nothing appealed to me, but I drank some soup broth so no one would worry.

It was time for the funeral. The family was taken to into a parlor to wait as guests arrived. It was not long before the funeral began when one of my cousins stepped outside to smoke. He came back in quickly and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me into the hall.

"Mind explaining why there's an army of paparazzi outside the church?"

Chapter 14
"What?!" I ran to a window, and sure enough, there they were. Cameras out, recorders in hand, ready for the slightest bit of juicy info. Mr. Jonas had overheard and was calling the police. I broke through the ranks of my family and out into the hall. I made my way to the entrance of the church, my high heels clicking dangerously on the tile floor.

I threw open the double doors and stormed out into the unusually cold and stormy July weather, scattering the paparazzi that crowded around. I screamed at the top of my lungs, 'Why are you here? Its no doubt that I probably looked crazy, the chilly wind whipping through my hair and black dress. Cameras went off all around me. A man pushed past everyone and started asking me questions about the tour and brothers. I couldn't stop myself. I slapped him hard across the face knocking him against the railing. Everyone stared as I glared at the man, tears gathering in my eyes and my chest heaving. The photos started again, more violently than ever. Several police cars pulled up. Someone opened the door and pulled me back into the church.

Kevin pulled me into a hug but I pushed him away from me. I stormed off toward the bathroom. Joe grabbed my arm to stop me. I spun around glaring at him before tearing my arm from his grasp and clicking away around a corner. I bent over the sink in the bathroom trying to cool off. After a moment I was fine, although feeling horrible at how I had reacted to Joe and Kevin.

I made my way out of the bathroom and back to the parlor. My family had already entered the sanctuary. Joe and Kevin stood outside the sanctuary talking to their mother. They looked up when I got near the door. I mouthed the words "I'm sorry" to them. They nodded in understanding. I entered the sanctuary trying to remain unnoticed. The service was long and sad. After about an hour it was finally over.

My aunt who lived in the city was having dinner for the entire family. She saw me with the Jonas's and invited them to dine with us. They declined respectfully but she insisted. So we gathered into the cars and followed everyone to her large home.

After a small memorial session in her living room and short prayer dinner was served. I started feeling sick but ate some bread and chomped on some ice. I started feeling worse and excused myself. I made my way up the steps to an unoccupied bathroom on the second floor. After I had cooled off some, and the sick feeling had slackened I made my way back down.

I started down the steps but felt something wasn't right. I became dizzy and light-headed. Then time seemed to slow down. I was falling and everything went black. Then I felt pain allover, but especially in my right leg. I heard what sounded like a stampede followed by many voices. I couldn't see anything, but someone was calling my name, getting quieter every time.

"ALEXA!! Alexa! Alexa..."

Chapter 15

Everything was blurry, but I could tell I was in a hospital room when I woke up. My head was swimming as I tried to recollect everything. What happened? Where is everyone?

I heard footsteps and someone entered the room, but I couldn't see them clearly. I heard them gasp and then run out. I heard them shouting and not long after that people swarmed into the room. My parents, my brothers, the Jonas family, and my several of my friends. I didn't know who I was happier to see.

My parents ran and felt my head asking how I was. The Jonas's hovered around the end of the bed, and my friends had my hand in death grip. After my parents were finished fussing over me they backed out of the way so I could see my friends. "Lucy! Brianna! Bretta! Jess!" I screamed really wishing I hadn't as I felt dizzy immediately afterwards. They ran over and hugged me one by one.

A nurse came in after a few minutes and made everyone leave the room. For the first time I noticed my leg. Suspended in the air with a hard cast around it. "What happened?" I asked the nurse.

"Your blood sugar dropped dangerously low and you passed out wile walking down some steps. It looked like you hit your head pretty hard. We were afraid you might have had a concussion, but you don't. Your legs are pretty bruised though, and as you can see your right leg is fractured."

My heart sank as she said the word "fractured." That meant it was going to be a while before I could perform again. She saw my reaction and said she would get a doctor to speak with me. She was left to find one leaving me alone once again. I noticed that I was connected to several machines and had two different IVs in my arm.

Someone peaked around the corner and I yelled at them. "Joe!"

"Hey." He said smiling at me. It felt like forever since I'd seen that smile.

Just my luck, at that time the nurse returned with a doctor who asked Joe to leave. "Can he stay, please?" I begged.

"As long as he doesn't bother you." the doctor said giving in.

"Ok Ms. Lawson. Well as the nurse told you, your blood sugar dropped dangerously low. I know you were depressed but it's risky business to avoid eating for so long. Are you aware that you dropped 6 pounds in the past few days?"

"No, I wasn't." I replied slightly shocked.

"Well, I'm sure you're wondering what all these IVs are." he said taping the bags of liquid. This one running into your elbow is insulin, and the one in your wrist is saline. Let me check your eyes right quick." He pulled out a small flashlight and shined it in both of m eyes. "Pupils dilating correctly." he muttered to himself. "You'll need to keep off your leg for about two weeks. We'll give you a set of crutches to use."

"Will I be able to perform?" I asked, cringing at the thought of a negative answer.

"As long as you aren't bouncing around I don't see why you couldn't." He said smiling as my face lifted.

"Thank you doctor." I said waving goodbye.

Joe shook my wrist, "you still get to perform!"

"I know!" I said ruffling his hair.

Once again the nurse returned, saying I needed to get some rest. Before she left I asked how long I had been there. Turns out I had been there for two days, and was still going to be there another two. So I went to bed praying for a quick recovery.

My family and the Jonas's kept me company. Since there was nothing else to do, all we did was talk. Although it had only been two days, I desperately needed to get outside.

My last night in the hospital I requested to go for a walk while everyone was out to dinner. I asked to walk alone, but begging was more like it. They said I could as long as I stayed on the hospital campus and used my crutches. I didn't know where to go so I asked where a good spot was. They recommended the memorial garden behind the hospital. So I made my way there.

It was a beautiful night. The stars were bright and the moon illuminated the garden. Walked out to the center of the garden, to the edge of a small pond. I let my crutches fall to the side balancing on one foot.

I looked up to the stars in the night sky, but found one I couldn't take my eyes off of. It wasn't the brightest, but for some reason I just couldn't look away.

Someone came up behind me and wrapped their arms around me. "What are you doing?" they chuckled.

"I'm looking at God." I replied never taking my eyes from the star. "And he's looking back at me."

"You miss him?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"I always will. But when I smile towards heaven, I know he'll always be smiling back at me."

The arms surrounding me loosened and I turned to look into those two dark brown eyes. Our gaze never wandered. I took a dep breath, inhaling his scent which was so intoxicating. I felt the arms surround me again, pulling me closer. Then we closed our eyes and...kissed.
No one else could see them, but there were fireworks in the sky that night.

Chapter 16

Two days later I was released from the hospital and returned to the tour with the Jonas family. Joe and I never spoke of what had occurred that night, but I felt it. How could I not? It was such a powerful connection.

Making my way up the high bus steps proved to be more than just a challenge, it was like a triathlon. After several attempts I almost made it to the top but lost my balance and fell backwards. Luckily, Joe is strong and just happened to be behind me. He caught me, laughing at my frustration, and carried me up the bus steps. I'll be honest, I am by no means light, so I knew it must have proved some difficulty getting up the bus.

Still carrying me, he collapsed onto the couch, gasping for breath. I smacked his arm lightly, telling him I wasn't THAT heavy. He just laughed and pulled me into a hug. We heard the others coming onto the bus so I slipped quickly off his lap. They just walked by making weird faces at us. Joe looked at me out of the corner of his eye and smiled before following his brothers to the back of the bus.

Frankie came up the steps with a coloring book and crayons. I moved my leg and patted the seat next to me. We had some special "Flexie" bonding time, coloring together for over two hours. Flexie is the nickname the boys had given Frankie and I.

We stopped for lunch when we were about midway to the next concert site. Me going down the steps was almost catastrophic, so we decided that whenever we stopped to eat, it was best if I stayed on the bus. Sounded lonely, but I figured giving the family a break would be a good idea.

We continued on after finally getting me back on the bus. I napped most of the ride after lunch. I woke up shortly before we stopped for dinner. I stayed on the bus and answered some messages and emails while the family ate.

"Surprise!" Joe yelled as he marched up the bus steps carrying three take-out boxes of food. I just shook my head, laughing at him.

"Well, if you don't want it, I'll just take it back." he said sticking his nose in the air and turning around.

"Oh, bring it here." I laughed moving my laptop.

We ate in the floor talking about random stuff. I knew IT would come up eventually, though.

"Alexa, about the other night..." Joe said looking at me.

I turned my head and looked into his eyes to let him know he had my full attention.

"Uh, I don't really know how to explain it." He said leaning on one hand and scratching his head. I subtly inched my hand towards his. The sunset was shining through the large window in front of us, illuminating his face. I was utterly lost looking into his handsome face.

He noticed my hand not far away and took it in his. He sighed, looking back at me. We leaned in, resting our foreheads together. Joe ran his hand across my cheek and tracing my jaw.

"Joe..."

"Alexa...I love you." Joe whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back. He squeezed my hand as I said it, letting me know it was all real.

He hooked his hand gently on the back of my neck and pulled me closer. I grinned as he nuzzled the tip of my nose with his. Slowly we moved together and kissed, a kiss that turned my world upside down and inside out.

Chapter 17

There we sat, gazing at the sunset. Our fingers laced together, my head resting on his shoulder and his head resting on mine. I closed my eyes, never wanting this moment to end. The silence was interrupted by Joe's phone. It was flashing with a new text.

Kev: We r paying, wont b long.

Joe showed me the text and looked at me with eyes full of disappointment. He kissed my hand before getting up to clear away our takeout boxes. I grabbed him by the wrist pulling him back down and kissing him on the cheek. He just smiled as he rose and grabbed a trashbag, putting away all the trash.

He finished and I held out my arms to be helped off the floor, as it was near impossible on my own. He took both my hands, pulling up hard and throwing me a short ways in the air. He wrapped his arms around me in midair and made sure my leg never touched the ground. He just stood there, tightly holding my body suspended above the floor.

The bus door opened and he set me down on the couch and moving swiftly to the back of the bus to avoid suspicion. Nick and Kevin came trotting up the steps, followed by Frankie and their parents. Kevin belched and exclaimed at how great dinner was. I just sat, eyes wide open, looking from one corner of my eye to the other. They started laughing and I gave them all a big smile.

Joe walked by with the trashbag giving me a quick wink. It was then that I felt the weight of reality come crashing back down on my shoulders. It just wasn't fair, we were in love, but we had to keep it a secret from everyone, even his family. We would have to be extremely attentive to everyone around us and everything thing we did, so as to not give any hints of our relationship. Ah forbidden love.

Chapter 18

For the next week, Joe and I kept our feelings hidden, but we always found some excuse to be near each other. When watched movies we made everyone sit on the couch just so we could be squished together. I would read fan mail just so Joe would have to sit by me to answer. At night, we would sneak out of our bunks and sit on the couch in the dark holding each other and talking.

One morning I woke and rolled over to find myself staring sideways into Joes face, who was sitting in front of my bunk propped up on his elbows. I smiled, "hey mornin'."

"Hey" Joe said as he leaned in and quickly kissed my forehead. He sat back and looked around to see if anyone had seen. No one was awake yet, but you could never tell with Frankie. Joe and I talked quietly for a few minutes until we heard rustling above us. Joe sprang up and slipped towards the front of the bus. Kevin hopped down and hit my arm lightly with the back of his hand.

"Hey!" I yelled softly, smacking his leg.

"Heee-eyy" he replied twittering his fingers at me.

I was about to get up when I heard a scream. Frankie came charging down the hall and jumped on my stomach, knocking the breath out of me."You little monster!" I yelled tickling him. Joe came back to see what all the commotion was. After watching me wrestle with the thoroughly hyper kid, he grabbed Frankie up and slung him over his shoulder, carting him off towards the front. I got up and dressed with difficulty as I had every morning since my fall. Only a few more days left with this cast I thought.

We hung out on the bus most of the day, playing games, watching movies, and singing. (Yes we sing, even while off stage.) I drew quite a bit, as I had a lot of inspiration from recent events. It was starting to get dark when I finally called it quits. Joe and I hadn't managed to be together that day. I sat on my bunk putting away my pads and gathering my clothes for a shower when Joe came back to talk. Everyone else was watching a movie so it was the best opportunity.

"I can't take it anymore." he sighed as he sat on the edge of his bunk.

"What?" I asked, slightly worried.

He looked me in the eyes saying "I'm tired of hiding US. I want to tell all of them so we can be together, at least on the bus."

"Joe... I just don't want there to be any awkward feelings between any of us."

"But I need to be with you. It isn't fair that we have to sneak around just to spend time together." He pulled me into a hug. He said everything with such passion that it brought me to the verge of tears.

"Ok Joe. When do you want to tell them?:
"Right now! You go talk to mom, I'm gonna go find dad."

"But what do I say?"

"I don't know. Just tell her how you feel." and with that he disappeared.

I sat there for a moment planning everything I was about to say. I got up and limped back to find Mrs. Jonas in the same place I had the night I left the tour. "Knock knock" I announced, sticking my head around the door.

She looked up at me and smiled sweetly. "Alexa, sweetheart, come in."

I sat down and looked at her. "Mrs. Jonas, I wanted to talk to you about something." She set her book down and focused all her attention on me.

"What if...one of the boys had feelings for me?"

"Well have you talked to him about it?"

"Yes, and what if...those feelings are returned?"

She took my hand in both of hers. "Alexa, you being here, has been like having the daughter I never had. It would please me to no end if you and Joe started dating."

I sat in shock. "How did you know?!"

"I was a young girl once, I know the signs of two hearts in love."

"So it's ok?"

"Absolutely." She replied pulling me into a hug. "In fact, I urge you to be together."

"Oh thank you!" I giggled hugging her even tighter.

Joe walked in and looked at me questioningly. I turned and gave him the biggest smile I could muster. He laughed and ran to hug his mother. He then wrapped me in a hug and spun me in the air, burying his face in my hair draped around my neck. He carried me out of the room and to my bunk where we sat for hours talking openly in love for the first time.

He started getting tired and lay down on my lap. I sat stroking his hair as he ran his thumb over the top of my other hand. "Alexa, sing to me." he said rolling over and looking up at me with his adorable puppy dog eyes.
"What do you want me to sing?" I asked taking hold of both his hands.
"Whatever you want." He said kissing my palms.

"How about a hymn?"

"Sounds good."

I started singing "Be Though my Vision" quietly. He closed his eyes and listened intently. When I finished he sat up and took me in his arms.

"That was beautiful." he said kissing my forehead.

We lay down and he pulled me onto his chest. Everything felt so right. But deep down in my heart I was worried.

Chapter 19

The worry had seeped into my core. it was nearly August and the tour would be ending soon. I had a tough decision to make coming up. I loved touring with the brothers, but I really needed to solidify my future. I had already confirmed Wake Forest as my school of choice and had received a schedule. Should I use this tour as a platform for my own musical career or attend college? But most importantly, would I ever get to see Joe again?

I cried silently, my head laying on Joes chest, unsure of what to do. I fell asleep listening to his rhythmic heartbeat and gentle breathing. I dreamed lightly, seeing everything I loved and wanted floating around in empty space encased in bubbles. A sharp needle with DECIDE printed into the side floated among the bubbles. It was terrifying!

The needle would pop one of the bubbles and other bubbles associated with it would burst as well, depicting the consequences of my decision. There would be a moment of silence before the destroyed bubbles reappeared. Suddenly, the world began rocking, destroying everything. When it calmed, everything was gone, leaving me in cold emptiness. I prayed for it to end. The warmth began to fill the emptiness, enveloping me in a blanket of serenity.

I woke to find myself laying on my side embraced by Joe, his chin resting on the ridge of my nose. I slid my arms underneath his and hooked my hands over his shoulders. I pulled myself closer to him, breathing deeply inhaling the faint scent of his cologne.

I was almost asleep again when Joe began to stir. He shifted away from me but I held on tight. he chuckled softly, brushing the hair away from my face and leaning in to kiss my forehead. I kissed his cheek and softly bit his shoulder.

"Hey! What was that for?!" he whispered loudly.

I hugged him and snuggled into his chest. "I don't know, I guess I just really miss my friends."

"Huh?"

I rolled over on my back and looked up to the pictures taped to the roof of my bunk. "My friends and I used to bite each other whenever we hugged. Call us crazy, but it was kind of like saying I love you."

I took my hand and moved my fingers across the faces in the pictures. I then began to feel overwhelmingly sad. This was the first summer that I hadn't spent with my friends. Even when we left the country the summer before, we were together. I felt so guilty. I hadn't called any of them in weeks.

Joe slipped his hand around mine, giving it a squeeze. I sighed, sitting up and brushing a few stray tears from my cheeks. I scooted to the edge of my bunk. Joe sat up and wrapped me in a silent hug. When he released me I just gave him a weak smile and got up, heading towards the front.
I sat down on a couch next to Mrs. Jonas, who always knew what was going on. She looked up and smiled asking me if I knew what day it was. I was puzzled, but she just laughed and tapped my leg saying "It's time to get this off."

I don't know how, but I had forgotten it was the day I was to have my cast removed. I squealed with delight and hopped away leaving my crutches in the floor. After quickly getting dressed and a bite to eat, I went with Mrs. Jonas to the hospital. Even though I was the only patient, we still had to wait forty-five minutes to be seen.

The doctor carefully removed my cast and washed my leg, which I must say, needed it quite badly. He then led me to a room to have an x-ray of my leg done, just to make sure everything had healed properly. It had but I was still advised to refrain from any vigorous physical activity while my leg regained strength.

We left and as a treat, Mrs. Jonas took me shopping, although I have no clue why. I shopped sparsely, my only major purchase being a light green evening gown for a formal dinner coming up. We met the boys at a sound studio where they were trying out some new songs. I listened for awhile then decided to try and write something. Suddenly my inspiration kicked in and I flew to the bus to get my writing journal.