MEMORIES

The hot sun beat down on Mulder's face. He was sitting quietly in the garden of his childhood home, he heard his mother's voice calling to him from inside. Mulder sighed in annoyance as he was enjoying the sunshine, his sneakers hit the floor as he hit the floor of the garden patio and he launched himself off the sun chair.

'Fox? Fox I've made you some lunch!' His mother called from inside the kitchen. Mulder started to run up the steps towards his mother who was standing in the open door. A smile broke across his face as he realised what she was making, chocolate cookies. She also smiled and let out a small laugh.

'I made you a special treat darling, because it's your birthday tomorrow isn't it!' She said affectionately as Mulder reached her, and she grabbed him and pulled him towards her into an embrace. Mulder grabbed onto his mother and laughed with her. The scent of the cookies was filling his senses and his mouth started to water hungrily. Mulder made his way into the kitchen and smiled happily as he saw the cookies on the counter. They were still in their tray and were piping hot.

'Don't touch them yet darling, you'll get burnt! You're going to have to wait until they have cooled a bit! Here, have a glass of milk while you wait.' She said softly and started to take off her apron. Mulder looked at her with a smile as she hung up the apron behind the door.

'I'll be right back, I've just got to give your Father something. Don't you touch those cookies!' She said, pointing an accusing finger at him. Mulder nodded and took a sip of his milk. She left the kitchen and closed the door behind her. Mulder stared at the cookies, they looked so nice, he really wanted to eat one. Just as he leant forward to pick one out, the tray of cookies suddenly turned into a tray of medical instruments. Mulder frowned in confusion as he pulled his hand away quickly from the tray in surprise and fear. He had nearly touched himself on a scalpel. Mulder drew his hand back and into his pockets. He was now wearing his suit trousers and he was old, he was back to normal again. Where was his mother? What had happened to his sneakers? Mulder frowned in confusion and took a step backwards. Suddenly a hand grabbed his arm and he gasped in shock and turned to face Scully. The dreamlike state of his surroundings suddenly disappeared and Mulder blinked…

'Mulder?' Scully was saying to him, looking into his eyes with concern. 'Mulder!' She exclaimed when he didn't answer. She studied his face. He looked lost and scared. Scully grabbed his hand and pulled it out of his pocket. She had seen him grab the scalpel when she was looking at some documents on the body and she had gone towards him quickly in surprise, luckily he hadn't cut himself, or had he? Scully lifted his fingers up to the light and examined them. They were all right.

'Mulder, you nearly cut your fingers off for God's sake! Are you all right?' She exclaimed, lowering his hand now and looking at him again. He wasn't looking at her. She raised her eyebrows in confusion. 'What's wrong?' She asked softly, and slowly Mulder turned to face her. His eyes showed confusion. Scully sighed and looked around the room, she spotted a chair. 'Look, do you want to sit down?' She asked, getting frustrated. Mulder shook his head and seemed to snap out of it.

'I..I sorry. I drifted off. What were you saying again?' He asked, as if trying to find things to say to her to cover up his peculiar behaviour. Scully raised an eyebrow questioningly.

'Mulder I wasn't saying anything, we were just looking at the body, the one that I'm going to autopsy later… remember?' She asked, starting to get annoyed now. Mulder shook his head and took a step away from the autopsy table and cleared his throat.

'Erm, yeah, sure.' He said, and shifted on his feet. Scully waited for him to answer, and he didn't. She sighed and decided to change the subject.

'Well ok then, erm, well I'll do the autopsy and I'll see you back at the office in about an hour?' She asked, and Mulder turned and was already starting towards the door. Scully frowned in concern.

'Mulder! Are you sure you're ok?' She said. Mulder held a hand up.

'I'm fine, I'm fine Scully. See you later.' He mumbled, and walked out. Scully started to go after him but he closed the door in her face. She frowned with frustration and opened her mouth to call after him but then realised there wasn't any use. Sighing, she turned and looked down at the body.

'Great, lets get started then…' She said to herself, and pulled the mask over her mouth with a pissed off sigh. Scully looked down at the dead body and saw that its eyes were still open. She frowned. 'What are you looking at.' She mumbled, and then reached up to close the eyelids.

CONFUSION

Mulder sighed as he entered the office. He looked around the room he knew so well, seeing the posters on the walls and the clippings. He made his way towards the desk and saw his name label sitting on top of a pile of papers. He suddenly had a craving for sunflower seeds. He went behind is desk and sat in his chair. Opening his drawer he searched for his bag of seeds.

'Dammit.' He muttered, as he remembered finishing the pack the night before. Mulder sighed and looked up to the ceiling and saw his collection of pencils. He let out a small laugh at the silliness of it all. Turning to his left he looked up to the small window where Scully had gotten onto a chair and looked out of it one day while she was holding an ice cream. There were so many memories in this office, some of them he wished he could erase, but he knew that they would never leave his mind, not until the day he died…

After a few minutes he sighed to himself as he wondered why he had had that memory earlier, and it had been so in depth, and with so much detail. He thought he had been there, like he was dreaming it not just remembering. Mulder's thoughts turned to his mother, his parents were now both gone. He hadn't thought this much about her for about a year now. He felt a surge of sadness fill him as he remembered the kind face of his mother. Mulder lowered is head and closed his eyes. The sudden memories of the other night hit him like a smack in the face. Mulder felt sick.

He was reliving it. Reliving it all over again…

He was at home, in his apartment. It was a quiet night. He sat and watching the tv silently and was drifting off to sleep when he suddenly heard a knock on his door. Mulder frowned and checked the clock. Who would be calling at this time? Mulder sighed and slowly got up from the sofa. He heard the knocking again, it was harder this time. Frowning with suspicion he moved to where his gun was on the kitchen counter. Mulder grabbed it quickly and pulled it up into place. Edging towards the door he pushed himself against the wall.

'Who is it?' He asked. There was a silence. No one answered, but they knocked again. Mulder sighed and held his gun up. Slowly, he edged sidewards and reached the peephole. He looked through it quickly and saw that there was a very familiar face in front of him. Mulder gasped and edged back against the wall. He felt nervous beats of sweat on his forehead now. Like hell he was going to let this son of a bitch inside his house. Just as he was about to tell him to go away, the knocking started again.

'Fox, let me in. This is very pressing business.' The voice drawled. Mulder took a deep breath and looked across the apartment to see the shadow of his tv playing in the lounge. He clicked his gun into place.

'I'm going to open the door and you're going to wait five seconds then await my orders you hear me?' Mulder shouted through the door.

'Yes.' The voice said after a moment. Mulder nodded and slowly reached for the door knob. He slowly opened it and pulled the door open. The man's shadow flowed into the apartment. Mulder took a deep breath and came around the back of the door. He hid his gun behind it in case civilians were around. Mulder looked right into his eyes and felt sick with hate. There in front of him stood Alex Krycek.

'Come in, slowly.' Mulder said in a low voice. Krycek nodded and slowly walked into the apartment. 'That's far enough.' Mulder said angrily, and closed the door behind him slowly. 'Now what the hell are you doing here?'

'Mulder, I have information for you.' Krycek said. Mulder laughed with disbelief.

'Since when have you been on my side?'

'It's information that I didn't need myself. I heard it, and I wanted to come here and tell you it myself. It's about your Mother, and something that happened in your childhood.' Krycek said. Mulder felt his heart skip a beat and he felt anger rise inside of him.

'You son of a bitch.' Mulder rasped. 'If you think you can come here and play more mind games on me then you are very much mistaken!' Mulder shouted, and pushed Krycek up against the wall.

'She's NOT dead Mulder. She's still alive.' Krycek cried out as Mulder pushed him hard against the wall. Mulder froze.

'What the hell are you talking about.' Mulder said in a low voice. 'I went to my mother's damn funeral, I went there and she was pretty dead when I was there Krycek!' Mulder shouted, and was tempted to hit Krycek across the cheek with his gun. Krycek struggled.

'MULDER! I have heard it from the smoking man. She's still alive. I swear to you.' Krycek shouted. Mulder shook his head.

'Well you can tell the smoking man to die on his Morleys because I don't give a crap about your mind games anymore!' Mulder shouted, rage burning inside of him. He let go of Krycek and grabbed him by the neck of his jacket. 'NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! NOW!' Mulder roared, and threw the door open. He shoved Krycek out and slammed the door angrily. After a few moments he felt his chest rising up and down heavily and he closed his eyes. Mulder suddenly felt faint. He backed against the door and slid down the door to the floor and dropped his gun. Angry tears stung his eyes. He wasn't going to believe it, he wasn't…

He slowly broke out of his thoughts and was surprised to see Scully entering the office. Mulder frowned and checked his watch. It was over an hour since he left the autopsy room. He frowned in confusion, what had he been doing all that time? Surely he hadn't eaten his lunch that slowly? Scully was coming towards him, her heels clicking on the floor. She threw the files down on the desk in front of him. Mulder jumped and looked up to her. She was looking down at him with those sceptical eyes.

'Mulder, the man is a human, not alien, not superhuman, as you thought before. This case is closed Mulder, this wasn't an X-File we both know this. It was just a normal murder. I think we've pretty much cleared this one up don't you think?' She said quickly. Mulder didn't answer but stared up at her in confusion and shock at her busy entrance into the room. He didn't know what to say to her. His thoughts were somewhere else. Scully looked at him for a moment and sighed. 'Are you going to speak to me?' She asked angrily. He could tell that she was agitated, or offended. One of the two. Scully was hard to read sometimes. Mulder swallowed.

'Scully I, I don't feel too well.' He said slowly. Scully frowned in confusion.

'What?' She asked.

'I'm not concentrating properly. I think I should just go home and sleep it off, I haven't been sleeping well.' He lied. Scully raised her eyebrows with annoyance.

'Mulder we have case reports to file and you know that Skinner wanted to talk to us at 4…' She started, Mulder sighed.

'I'm sorry Scully.' He said in a small voice and rose from his seat. Scully rested on her hands on the desk and learned towards him.

'Mulder, what is wrong. You are starting to freak me out. I mean…' She said, exasperated, 'Mulder, you're as crazy as you were when you weren't you! When you were someone else! Next thing I know you'll be slapping me on the ass and inviting me over for dinner!' She asked incredulously. Mulder raised an eyebrow at her and Scully blushed. 'Oh I.. I didn't tell you about that part, well, that happened when you were replaced by that… guy… remember?' She asked, feeling embarassed. Mulder shook his head and turned away and went towards the door. 'MULDER!' She exclaimed and ran after him.

'Scully, you'll just have to trust me. I'll call you.' He said in a small voice as he grabbed the door handle. Scully felt her emotions take over her suddenly and she felt angry tears sting her eyes.

'No Mulder! You are going to sit down and tell me what is going on! You're starting to scare me. You can't just walk out of here and not explain yourself to me.' She exclaimed and grabbed into his arm. Mulder stopped and closed his eyes. He let out a lot breath of annoyance. Scully couldn't believe he wasn't confiding in her. She was paranoid now, that he wasn't himself, that he wasn't even Mulder. Mulder slowly turned to face her and to Scully's surprise his face was now full of hopelessness. Scully frowned in concern when she saw his sad eyes.

'Oh Mulder.' She gushed, and Mulder lowered his head. 'Tell me what's wrong. We tell each other everything, please. I want to help you.' She said softly. Mulder bit his lower lip.

'All right. You're going to want to sit down for this…' He started. Scully opened her mouth to speak but she couldn't find the words. The fear hit her like a bullet.

'Oh.. ok.' She spluttered, and they went to sit down on their chairs.