A/N: I'm rating this T for now, but that's subject to change in later chapters. Some characters might be OOC a little, and it is an AU story, but I'll try my best to keep them as in-character as possible! Though they do have their own roles to play for this story.

Of course I thought of this story while watching an amazing Code Geass AMV called "Always" by La Mei. :D

Warning: This fic will have quite a bit of humor and fun, but it is more of a dark story centered around relationships, fear, and letting go.

Summary: Suzaku wanted to hate Lelouch. He was perfect in every way he was not. But hating someone took too much effort. Now love, love was effortless.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Am I the reason you breathe,

or am I the reason you cry?

Always, always, always...

Semper Memor

Stage 1

Suzaku clenched his teeth together and dug his head deeper into his arms, hoping that would be enough to block out the incessant sound of the click, click next to him.

But it was to no avail.

Going to class on three hours of sleep probably wasn't his best decision. Going out the night before didn't make his case look any better, but his roommate- Gino Weinberg- didn't believe in a weekend without booze and partying. He had no intention of going out, but his roommate wasn't one to take no for an answer.

He sighed as the night played over and over again in his head.

God, was his head pounding.

The click, click continued, despite Suzaku's constant sighs to hint to the guy sitting next to him to stop.

He turned his head to take a glance at the boy sitting next to him. Violet eyes started into a notebook he had over the class's textbook. One hand was holding his head up, black hair falling around to caress his face, while the other clicked away at his pen. He was annoyingly good-looking.

Suzaku kept himself from banging his head into his desk, the clicking getting louder and louder every passing moment.

Next time Gino asked him to go out, he would politely decline. Besides waking up with a horrible hangover the next day, all he could remember was his ex-girlfriend hanging all over some other guy. Ugh.

He sighed again, louder this time. Was this class almost over-

That's when he felt a foot step on his own. He yelped out a "ow, what the hell?" before his eyes darted to the person sitting next to him. The boy, Lelouch, didn't look particularly guilty, but Suzaku knew better. He was a master at hiding his emotions.

Feeling more irritated than usual- the constant clicking of that damn pen not helping- he kicked Lelouch's foot before once again hiding his face in his arms.

He just wanted this class to be over with.

But fate was not on his side, no, not today. The clicking then turned into tapping against the desk.

"Lelouch," Suzaku whispered bitterly. He faced the dark-haired boy once again.

"Is there something you need, Suzaku?" His features held no smile, but his eyes were twinkling in amusement.

"Stop it," he replied, irritated. He was the only one who could make Suzaku this mad without even trying. Everything about Lelouch sent out warning signals.

"Stop what?" Lelouch looked confused, but his violet eyes said otherwise.

"Never mind," he mumbled in defeat. He was too tired to play games with him. Right now he needed a nap, a nice, long nap. He had work after this class, and after work he had a six page essay due in his English class that he had to work on. Professor Gottwald wasn't exactly the most lenient teacher.

Whose idea was it for Suzaku to sign up for an English class at nine in the morning on a Saturday, anyway?

"Suzaku."

Green orbs looked up. "What?"

"Could you get your arm off of my desk." It was more of a command than an actual question. No surprise there.

"Yeah, sorry." For the first time since the class began, he finally sat up. The blinding light from the window shone on his tanned face, temporarily blinding his vision. There was no way he was going to fall back asleep now. It was as good time as any to start taking notes.

Suzaku reached into his desk for his notebook and a pen, but came up empty on the latter. It dawned on him that he must have left it on his desk back at the dorm.

That only left him with one option.

As if on cue, Lelouch held out a pen between his thin, elegant fingers as if saying "here".

"Thanks," he started to say, but quickly stopped when the pen fell out of Lelouch's hand and onto the ground where it rolled a couple desks away from them.

Suzaku's eyebrow twitched.

"My bad," Lelouch said apologetically.

He didn't look sorry at all. From past experiences, he was surprised Lelouch was even speaking to him at all. His high and mighty attitude only seemed to get worse as the years progressed.

The Lelouch now and the Lelouch from years ago were two completely different people.

Then again, he wasn't the person he use to be either.

Maybe if things happened differently back then, he wouldn't hate Lelouch as much as he did now. Maybe hate was too strong of a word, but it was the only way he could explain the emotions he felt.

Yet hating him wasn't right, because he was the reason those feelings existed in the first place.

He was just covering up for his own mistakes.

Suzaku sighed one last time before his head fell back onto his desk, messy brown locks covering his face. He missed the pair of eyes staring at him intently from the seat next to him.

Sorry for the shortness, but it's kind of like a prologue. Setting the scene and whatnot. Let me know if you like it!