A/N: This is all fun and jokes. I apologize beforehand to readers who find this offensive.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Overall Summary: Every single possible cliché within the FF world of Naruto—exposed, explained, and exaggerated.

First Arc's Summary: On the first day of school in Konoha High, our four mediocre girls originating from lower to middle class families encounter four rich hotties, and to everyone's surprise, they fall in love.

It is a beautiful, sunny morning in Konaha—please ignore the fact that the author already makes a spelling error—and the flowers are suddenly blooming and the grass is greener than ever before and birds are chirping and there's a triple rainbow in the sky even though it hasn't rained in two months and god dammit this endless sentence is missing a lot of commas. In other words, it is the perfect first day of school for our lovely shinobi.

Let's start this oh-so-original story from the point of view of our favorite (not to mention, only) pink-haired ninja in Konoha. And yes, the author unconsciously spells Konoha correctly this time.

We'll just conveniently insert a line break here to officially indicate a shift in perspective.

Sakura's POV

My first words are either "Oh my gosh, I'm late!" or "Five more minutes, mom!" but considering how the author is feeling exceptionally brainless today and can't think of my mother's name at the moment, we'll go with the former.

"OH MY GOSH," I shriek with unnecessary capitalization in all its glory. "I'm late!"

I jump out of my bed, directing a vivid string of curses toward my useless alarm clock, and head straight for the shower. After 45 seconds, I exit the bathroom, fully clothed in my rather revealing school uniform. I think I forget to brush my teeth.

Anyhow, a mirror appears out of nowhere beside me and I can't help but check myself out. The author puts great effort into providing a detailed description of my appearance, mentioning my flawless skin, my bubble-gum hair, my emerald eyes, my tie, and my short skirt. After that's done, and the readers are left speechless from my badass outfit, I remember that I'm late for the first day of school.

"Oh my gosh," I say again, except in a more civilized manner because the author's Caps Lock isn't working properly. I quickly smear a coat of pink lipstick onto my luscious lips, grab my pink bag, glide heavenly across my pink room and then out the pink door.

My mom, who's still nameless, greets me with a smile, shoves a piece of toast into my mouth, and scolds me for being tardy. I bid farewell and storm out the front door, running as fast as I can instead of taking the bus because I can't afford to, and also 'cause the prestigious Konoha High falls from the sky and plants itself right next door. Here's where the author expects the readers to shiver from the beautiful name she has assigned the school.

Then, as I'm running, I offer a brief introduction about myself. I start off with "Hi, I'm Haruno Sakura." After a five paragraph essay about my past, my family's low income, and my weight or height, I talk about how I'm super excited about transferring to this new school. So excited that I'm about half an hour late.

But wait—oh, no! The author is getting tired of writing about me, so we'll move the spotlight to Tenten, our second favorite superstar.

Tenten's POV

I'm a bit less self-absorbed than Sakura so I'll just provide a short summary about my missing surname, my tomboyish appearance, and my love for sports. I check the mirror as well, but only to make sure that my hair buns are symmetrically bolstered on my brunette head. The author isn't in the mood to explain my outfit, so let's imagine that I look badass too.

I'm also from a family with financial problems so I walk to school as well. And what do you know? As I'm making my way down the street, a humungous motorcycle comes flying in my direction. I get super pissed and scream at whoever's riding on the vehicle. However, once the rider takes off his helmet, I shut up. The man's freakishly long, silky hair unravels onto his broad shoulders and his lavender eyes stare into my poor, surname-less soul. I forget that I'm mad at him because he's so damn beautiful, but the author reminds me.

"Watch where you're going!" I yell with all my might.

In response, the man chuckles with incredible arrogance and waits until the wind blows his hair in just the right way before speaking. "You were in my way," he says in the sexiest voice possible, and I almost swoon.

But I don't fall in love with him just yet, because the author decides that I'm one of those hardcore hard-to-get types of women, though we all know that I'm a total tsundere. But wait—you didn't hear that; I'm not supposed to reveal the author's greatest plot twist to the ignorant readers just yet!

Anyhow, he decides that he finds me interesting and after a second or two, we somehow exchange names. I act like I'm still pretty pissed but the author thinks that a mere smirk from Hyuuga Neji will make everything better so let's completely skip that angry part. Soon, the mysterious long-haired motorcyclist rides off down the street and around the left corner, even though Konoha High is in the opposite direction. Regardless, I make my way to school.

Aw, damn. My time's almost up as well. God, Stfu's being such a pregnant cow–

Stfu's POV

Did you hear Tenten say something just now? Something about me being a hormonal farm animal? Good, me neither! Anyway, the author (let's call her AA from now on; it'll make things a lot easier) is too exhausted to write the morning routines of Hinata and Ino, so she'll just assume that the readers know them already.

So, where were we? Ah yes, Tenten has already met her soulmate, and Sakura is about to meet hers. But no—AA will save that for the next chapter cause a NejiTen moment, a motorcycle, and a cow all in the first chapter is already more than the readers can handle.

For now, we'll move to the scene where Sakura and Tenten magically arrive at Konaha (aw, AA misspells it again) High at the same time and become BBBFFLs in 3 seconds. That stands for Best Best Best Friends For Life, just in case some of my readers are not as up to date with AA's classy SMS text.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so late," Sakura says for the third f00kin' time. (Sorry, AA's not old enough to type legit curses.)

Sakura runs some more and talks to herself some more and before she knows it, she is standing face-to-face with the tall, intimidating gates of Konoha High. Even though she's about 40 minutes late, the gates are still open, and she walks through them. However, she hears light footsteps behind her—calm down, SasuSaku shippers, Sasuke's not in this chapter—and turns around to see a girl with chocolate donuts on her head.

They say hi, talk about how cool it is that they're both girls, seventeen, and late on their first day at a new school. As a result, as I've mentioned before, they become best friends. They walk into the school building together (proving that they're BFFLs), and disregarding the lateness, still find time to compare their schedules, realizing that Chemistry's their only shared class.

Before they can whine about this, however, something terribly catastrophic happens. And it involves the village's one and only psychopathic principal, who with a single flick of the pinky can destroy a planet, by the name of—surprise!—Tsunade-sama! Wow, to involve even the fifth hokage herself in this fic, AA's pretty creative, huh?

Insert insane cliffhanger here.

A/N: Motorcyclist Neji likes reviews.