Title: I did it for her
Disclaimers: Joss owns everyone on BTVS except for occasionally letting me borrow Spike for alternate weekends to indulge in my fantasies. Though after As You Were, I think I better just keep him for awhile and cheer him up……. (Spike not Joss!!)
Email: gbladlp@msn.com crunchberry
Spoilers: Season 6 - Right after As You Were
Premise –Spikes real reason for the egg sitting…S/B of course….
Rating PG
God I am such a Wanker.
All my good intentions up in smoke – literally! Not that SHE would ever believe I had good intentions – but I did. Everything I do anymore is for HER. Fixing up the crypt – rugs, furniture and Pillows for Gods sake! All to make it feel more romantic when she comes over. Do you think cobwebs; gray stone and a dreary atmosphere lead to anything?? Hell no they don't. You need coziness and a bit of romance to get anywhere with the ladies. Even Dru needed it. Not that in a million years I would compare romancing Dru to romancing Buffy. Lets not even go there!
And the candles! Do you know how many packs of cigarettes I have to give up just to buy all the bloody candles in this place? Does she even care that I spend hours trying to place the candles in just the right grouping? How many clearance sales I go to? They are bloody expensive! I even have gotten to watch the Home and Garden channel just to get decorating tips. What a sap I am.
But seeing HER work at the Double Meat Palace has broken my heart. She looks so bloody tired and I haven't the heart to tell her how she smells coming out of that place. She has enough to worry about than offending my sense of smell. Not that any of her body parts or smells would ever offend me. Just being in her presence makes me feel so alive that I don't care if she smells like roasted garlic, she would still turn me on. Her eyes though look so forlorn and she almost has to drag herself through patrol every night. I have offered to patrol for her, but she declines. It's HER sacred duty and all. She would get so angry if she knew I followed her nightly to watch her back for her. She has been lucky these past weeks. Her carelessness so far has not gotten her killed. The thought of that keeps me hiding among the tombstones just in case….
So what can I do to help? She won't let me in her life, won't admit to her Scooby's that anything is between us and that she is relying on me. Not that any of them have offered to help her out. Red is living in her house, eating her food and hasn't offered to pay a dime to her. When I brought it up, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that Willow had other problems to deal with and she didn't want to bother her.
Her dad has all but disappeared off the planet. Not that HE ever cared anyway. Xapper and his pet demon are so wrapped up in their disastrous wedding planning they don't see her despair even though it's as plain as the bump on her nose!
So it comes back to me. I told her I could get money. My job prospects aren't the best in the world though I will admit. I tend to keep night hours and I could just see doing up my resume.
Education – graduated 1872, Victorian poetry.
Skills: Killing, maiming, wreaking havoc, playing poker and now decorating crypts. I could give good ole Martha Stewart a run for her money. Speaking of a demon that has done well for her self!!
Teeth had offered to hire me for extra muscle. But he pays in kittens and Buffy needs cash. Teeth just stares at me like I had grown horns out of my head when I told him I would rather have cash.
Other option I thought about briefly was going to England and somehow intimidating the Council of Watchers into giving Buffy a salary for keeping the Hellmouth safe. Problem was the intimidation part and also leaving Buffy for a while. No way was I leaving her here to her own devices. Every time I turned around she was in some sort of scrape and needed saving. Not that SHE would ever admit that I actually was needed in her life. And no – not thinking of THAT part which she needed, wanted and craved. Well, to be honest, I want and crave it too. Worse every day. Probably the biggest reason I don't want to go to England. So that option can be thrown out the window.
Another option is going to Peaches for help. Oh right, like I would EVER do that!! I could see me sauntering into his hotel and telling him that I came for money. (yeah – heard he got himself a hotel – what a wanker – but it does mean that he has some money somewhere.) Considering last time I saw him, I did not leave on the best of terms, I don't think I would get very far there. Even if I told him it was for Buffy, he wouldn't believe me. Buffy would never ask him herself. So that option goes out the window also.
You know, I love being a vampire. Its much better than being a timid, pathetic poet. But sometimes, just sometimes, there are limits to this unlife. I have always just taken what I want. Well – not Buffy. Buffy took ME instead. Not complaining though. But in this case I can't just take what I want. I want Buffy's house and debts paid off and I just couldn't figure out a way in which I could do that.
Then at the bar the other night, playing Pool with some Goreck demons (god talking about smelly – they can put the Doublemeat place to shame in that department!) heard about the Savolti demon coming to the Hellmouth and trying to find a place to spawn. They also said how those eggs could fetch loads of money on the black market to the right people. This of course was after I won 5 rounds of pool and they were suddenly out of money to pay me. They figured with my human contacts and my demon contacts, I might be the logical choice to be the go-between.
My ears twitched at that. (They do that occasionally, even without invisible Buffy helping out). How much money are we talking about blokes? I asked. Loads and loads supposedly. Rare demon, on the extinct list but a lot of humans interested in them for some reason. Not that I care what they want with them, it's a way to help HER. We're talking enough to pay off the slayers house, get her out of that burger joint and even pay for Nibblets college. Spike to the rescue (yet again).
I could just see her face when I showed up with the money and told her I actually worked for the money – hey you think egg sitting is going to be easy??? A weeks worth of work and then she can finally stop working at that grease trap. Maybe even money left over to actually take her out to a fancy restaurant and a movie. Yeah, I am thinking date here. Something normal for my girl. Of course she probably would have me drive to the next town for fear of anyone finding out, but I could live (well proverbially speaking at least) with that. Seeing her face smile and have the light back in her eyes would be worth anything. Even babysitting some dumb eggs for a week and selling them.
I would need a code name though. Slayer comes in to Willy's often enough and might hear about this and she might not be happy. So I figured on the Doctor. Doctors fix things, and I am fixing her life. She asked me to. The one time she let me take her out drinking. I can hear her clear as day, you were supposed to fix my life! So now I have the means. Off to it then.
But here I sit among the ruins of my crypt. The rugs that covered the floor are burnt to a crisp. No wrestling and playing under them anymore I gather. The bed, what is left of it at least, is not fit for a chaos demon to lay in. My liquor stash has been incinerated. The darkness of the cave walls pale though in comparison to where my heart should be. Its gone, all of it. Might as well take a walk out in the sunlight now. She would never believe I did it for her. All of it. Everything I do is for her. And she came here and ripped out my heart and the most unforgiving part of it is that I know she is right.
I would love to say she will be back, she needs me but I know its not true. She needs her friends, the Nibblet and the light. She forgot that for a time, I was her light. But now she remembers. She walks in the light and I walk in the shadows. I will forever walk in the shadows, that is my nature. For the first time in my unlife, I wish I wasn't a vampire. Then maybe, just maybe we could have a chance. I could get a job at least and help her out the normal way. But now that is all over.
I did it for Her.
Feedback: PLEASE, with naked, whipped cream covered spikes on top. My first fiction but that episode has me so bummed. Please let me know what you think.
Disclaimers: Joss owns everyone on BTVS except for occasionally letting me borrow Spike for alternate weekends to indulge in my fantasies. Though after As You Were, I think I better just keep him for awhile and cheer him up……. (Spike not Joss!!)
Email: gbladlp@msn.com crunchberry
Spoilers: Season 6 - Right after As You Were
Premise –Spikes real reason for the egg sitting…S/B of course….
Rating PG
God I am such a Wanker.
All my good intentions up in smoke – literally! Not that SHE would ever believe I had good intentions – but I did. Everything I do anymore is for HER. Fixing up the crypt – rugs, furniture and Pillows for Gods sake! All to make it feel more romantic when she comes over. Do you think cobwebs; gray stone and a dreary atmosphere lead to anything?? Hell no they don't. You need coziness and a bit of romance to get anywhere with the ladies. Even Dru needed it. Not that in a million years I would compare romancing Dru to romancing Buffy. Lets not even go there!
And the candles! Do you know how many packs of cigarettes I have to give up just to buy all the bloody candles in this place? Does she even care that I spend hours trying to place the candles in just the right grouping? How many clearance sales I go to? They are bloody expensive! I even have gotten to watch the Home and Garden channel just to get decorating tips. What a sap I am.
But seeing HER work at the Double Meat Palace has broken my heart. She looks so bloody tired and I haven't the heart to tell her how she smells coming out of that place. She has enough to worry about than offending my sense of smell. Not that any of her body parts or smells would ever offend me. Just being in her presence makes me feel so alive that I don't care if she smells like roasted garlic, she would still turn me on. Her eyes though look so forlorn and she almost has to drag herself through patrol every night. I have offered to patrol for her, but she declines. It's HER sacred duty and all. She would get so angry if she knew I followed her nightly to watch her back for her. She has been lucky these past weeks. Her carelessness so far has not gotten her killed. The thought of that keeps me hiding among the tombstones just in case….
So what can I do to help? She won't let me in her life, won't admit to her Scooby's that anything is between us and that she is relying on me. Not that any of them have offered to help her out. Red is living in her house, eating her food and hasn't offered to pay a dime to her. When I brought it up, she just shrugged her shoulders and said that Willow had other problems to deal with and she didn't want to bother her.
Her dad has all but disappeared off the planet. Not that HE ever cared anyway. Xapper and his pet demon are so wrapped up in their disastrous wedding planning they don't see her despair even though it's as plain as the bump on her nose!
So it comes back to me. I told her I could get money. My job prospects aren't the best in the world though I will admit. I tend to keep night hours and I could just see doing up my resume.
Education – graduated 1872, Victorian poetry.
Skills: Killing, maiming, wreaking havoc, playing poker and now decorating crypts. I could give good ole Martha Stewart a run for her money. Speaking of a demon that has done well for her self!!
Teeth had offered to hire me for extra muscle. But he pays in kittens and Buffy needs cash. Teeth just stares at me like I had grown horns out of my head when I told him I would rather have cash.
Other option I thought about briefly was going to England and somehow intimidating the Council of Watchers into giving Buffy a salary for keeping the Hellmouth safe. Problem was the intimidation part and also leaving Buffy for a while. No way was I leaving her here to her own devices. Every time I turned around she was in some sort of scrape and needed saving. Not that SHE would ever admit that I actually was needed in her life. And no – not thinking of THAT part which she needed, wanted and craved. Well, to be honest, I want and crave it too. Worse every day. Probably the biggest reason I don't want to go to England. So that option can be thrown out the window.
Another option is going to Peaches for help. Oh right, like I would EVER do that!! I could see me sauntering into his hotel and telling him that I came for money. (yeah – heard he got himself a hotel – what a wanker – but it does mean that he has some money somewhere.) Considering last time I saw him, I did not leave on the best of terms, I don't think I would get very far there. Even if I told him it was for Buffy, he wouldn't believe me. Buffy would never ask him herself. So that option goes out the window also.
You know, I love being a vampire. Its much better than being a timid, pathetic poet. But sometimes, just sometimes, there are limits to this unlife. I have always just taken what I want. Well – not Buffy. Buffy took ME instead. Not complaining though. But in this case I can't just take what I want. I want Buffy's house and debts paid off and I just couldn't figure out a way in which I could do that.
Then at the bar the other night, playing Pool with some Goreck demons (god talking about smelly – they can put the Doublemeat place to shame in that department!) heard about the Savolti demon coming to the Hellmouth and trying to find a place to spawn. They also said how those eggs could fetch loads of money on the black market to the right people. This of course was after I won 5 rounds of pool and they were suddenly out of money to pay me. They figured with my human contacts and my demon contacts, I might be the logical choice to be the go-between.
My ears twitched at that. (They do that occasionally, even without invisible Buffy helping out). How much money are we talking about blokes? I asked. Loads and loads supposedly. Rare demon, on the extinct list but a lot of humans interested in them for some reason. Not that I care what they want with them, it's a way to help HER. We're talking enough to pay off the slayers house, get her out of that burger joint and even pay for Nibblets college. Spike to the rescue (yet again).
I could just see her face when I showed up with the money and told her I actually worked for the money – hey you think egg sitting is going to be easy??? A weeks worth of work and then she can finally stop working at that grease trap. Maybe even money left over to actually take her out to a fancy restaurant and a movie. Yeah, I am thinking date here. Something normal for my girl. Of course she probably would have me drive to the next town for fear of anyone finding out, but I could live (well proverbially speaking at least) with that. Seeing her face smile and have the light back in her eyes would be worth anything. Even babysitting some dumb eggs for a week and selling them.
I would need a code name though. Slayer comes in to Willy's often enough and might hear about this and she might not be happy. So I figured on the Doctor. Doctors fix things, and I am fixing her life. She asked me to. The one time she let me take her out drinking. I can hear her clear as day, you were supposed to fix my life! So now I have the means. Off to it then.
But here I sit among the ruins of my crypt. The rugs that covered the floor are burnt to a crisp. No wrestling and playing under them anymore I gather. The bed, what is left of it at least, is not fit for a chaos demon to lay in. My liquor stash has been incinerated. The darkness of the cave walls pale though in comparison to where my heart should be. Its gone, all of it. Might as well take a walk out in the sunlight now. She would never believe I did it for her. All of it. Everything I do is for her. And she came here and ripped out my heart and the most unforgiving part of it is that I know she is right.
I would love to say she will be back, she needs me but I know its not true. She needs her friends, the Nibblet and the light. She forgot that for a time, I was her light. But now she remembers. She walks in the light and I walk in the shadows. I will forever walk in the shadows, that is my nature. For the first time in my unlife, I wish I wasn't a vampire. Then maybe, just maybe we could have a chance. I could get a job at least and help her out the normal way. But now that is all over.
I did it for Her.
Feedback: PLEASE, with naked, whipped cream covered spikes on top. My first fiction but that episode has me so bummed. Please let me know what you think.