Kyman
I Was shot down
"Cartman"
"What Jew"
"Would you cry if I died"
"Hell no Jew"
"Okay would you be sad if I left?"
"No Jew"
"Do you like me at all?"
"What kind of question is THAT Jew?"
"Fuck you too"
"Jew, Am I fat?"
"Yes"
"Do I look ugly"
"Yes"
"Am I stupid"
"Yes"
"Do you hate me"
"Yes"
"Bummer"
"Why"
"If you died I would DIE with you"
"If you left I would be DEVISTATED"
"I dont like you I LOVE you"
"Umm fatass?"
"Yes Jew"
"You aren't fat your big boned" I said with a grin
"Okay" He started to cry
"You aren't ugly you are PERFECT"
he was sobbing silently
"You aren't stupid you are WITTY"
"I dont HATE you I LOVE you"
I left suddenly running and bawling my eyes out, I got a text from fatass that said
Help me please! Don't let her die! -Eric Cartman
I ran as fast as I could to his house to find Liane on the floor holding a bottle of pills
"Fuck! No no no no!" Is all Cartman was saying through his tears
"Shhhhh, Its okay Cartman"
"No no no no no no! Help her dipshit please! You're the smart one" He managed to get out through sobs
I stood there looking at her and took her pulse
"Take her to bed fatass"
"What?"
"She is FINE she just has a low pulse"
"How!"
"Shh, dont wake her or she may die"
Me and him carryed the underweight Lianne to bed quietly
"Kahl?"
"Yes"
"How many times have you came close to dying?"
"2 times, why"
"I can't lose you"
"Why?"
"You are my only Jew"
"Okay fatass I am goin home"
"Okay Kahl, By the way..."
"Yea"
"Never get fucked up on acid and make me save your jewish ass again"
"What?"
"AND dont try to mess with ManBearPig and make me punch and slap you"
"O-ka-y" I managed through tears as I rested my head on Cartmans shoulder
Kahl, Its your Nazi :D meet me at starks pond in 20minz I have a surprise for you! Sincerely -Eric Theodore Cartman
I laughed at this and combed my hair grabbing Cartmans present as I left, today was our aniversery since the day of Liane's overdose, The day we started dating
"Hey Nazi"
"Hey Jew!" This is how we'd always introduce at a meeting, I pulled him into a hug
"Soooo wheres my present Kahl" Dipshit I wanted mine first
I pulled out something that made Cartman look in delight, His old hitler uniform in his size
"Sweet, Heres mine"
I waited but he suddenly got down on one knee
"Kahl Broflovski, Will you marry me?" I saw his cheeks flush and he was NERVOUS?
"Yes!"
We hugged locked in a sweet embrace for 10 minutes
"Don't tell your bitchy mom though Kahl"
"Dont... Call... Ma-"
"Mah mom a bitch Cartman?" He said as he finished my sentence
"Who got sand in yo-"
"Your Vagina Kahl?" I said laughing, two could play at this game
"You fa-"
"fat fucking racist peice of nazi shit" he said frowning as he knew how I insulted and this time he mocked me rather well
"Ok ok! Truce!"
"Truce" He grunted as he took my hat off showing my short curls since I'd cut my "jewfro" weeks ago
"I love you Jew" he said
"I love you too Fatass" I said quietly as we were going to our home to find something we did almost daily, Stan babysitting our two children that are 3 year old we'd adopted last summer
Lilah and Kyman
"Hey guys! Lilah and Ky are fine as normal but Lilah is acting wierd."
"Stan are you seriously?"
"Oh yes I am very seriously fatass!"
"Don't call me fat you hippie peice of shit!"
"Okay not infront of the kids I said butting in!"
"Fuckin... Jew?" Kyman said in with cartmans accent
me and Cartman turned and saw him talking to our daughter in our manner
"Fatass?" she said in that baby voice they both had Lilah picked up my accent and Kyman had Cartmans
"Who gawt san in ur vagina Lilah?" The fuck was Cartman teaching these kids?
"I do not hab san in mah vagina you fat fuck!" then they started going full out with almost no stutters
"I'm not fat you Jew!"
"Don't belittle mah peeple you Nazi retard!"
OK this is getting out of hand
Wait... Is Cartman laughing
Shit stans laughing too!
I couldn't help it but I laughed at Red headed Lilah and Brown haired Kyman
"Bich!"
"Fatass!"
"Jew"
"Nazi!"
"Retard"
"Stupid"
"Fucker"
"Bastard!"
"Idiot"
"GAYWAD"
"Jew-Rat"
"Pig fucker"
"Daywalker"
The list went on and on of their childhood banter
and for the first time in a long time...
Me and Cartman were a happy, loving, laughing couple
And it all came from the day that I was shot down.
-END-
Thanks alot for reading, it means so much to me and I cant believe the words those kids would say, being raised by people who ripped on eachother noting Kyman was raised by Cartman and Lilah was raised by Kyle :D review for more!