Author's Note: This is a special request for lovemondotrasho. It is a Dramione story, so I decided to use one of my OCs to help bring them together. This takes place during the year of Yule Ball. I change around a few things, so just consider it AU.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Yu-Gi-Oh! This is just for fun.

Snobs and Secrets

I strode through the hallway with my head held high on my way to see Professor Burbage. Class was over, but I had a few things I wanted to discuss with her. Ever since I mentioned how humans a.k.a. muggles have discovered DNA, she's been fascinated to find out more from me, and perhaps even arrange to send her own DNA to a lab and have it analyzed. Of course, one sample would not reveal the wizarding gene to me, but it was a start.

I had just rounded a corner when I encountered quite a scene. Draco Malfoy, perhaps the richest kid in school besides myself, was being chased by a black-haired Slytherin girl holding a pile of pink fluff. He tripped over my foot and landed flat on his face. Amused, I pressed my back against the wall and crossed my arms to watch the aftermath.

The black-haired girl knelt beside Malfoy and started to check him for injuries, but Malfoy waved his arms dismissively. "Get away from me, Pansy. You'll make it worse."

Pansy looked up at me. "But she was the one who tripped you! It's that dirty Mudblood Kaiba."

Malfoy looked up and saw me standing there with an indifferent, slightly amused smirk on my face. The term Mudblood never bothered me. In fact, I found the assumption that people were defined by their blood rather than their DNA ludicrous.

Malfoy looked back at Pansy with dismay, trying to decide which of us was the lesser of two evils. Pansy was now screaming at him to put me in my place or some such nonsense.

Suddenly, Malfoy just lost it and yelled, "Don't talk about my girlfriend that way!"

Pansy froze. Her lower lip quivered and her eyes moistened. "Is… is this true?"

I gave her an unblinking, icy gaze and remained silent, neither confirming nor denying anything. If Malfoy had a thing for me, I wanted to explore it in private with him, not in front of someone who would blab to everyone else at the school. Not that the feeling was mutual, but it was also more fun to watch her squirm.

Pansy screamed and flourished her wand at me. I touched a button on the wristwatch my father gave me, and her attack bounced off my force field. Pansy then proceeded to attack the force field with her fists, but to no avail. She finally ran off in a rage, leaving her pink frilly pile of fabric behind her.

Malfoy fell on his knees in front of me. "Oh thank you! She was trying to get me to go to the Yule Ball with her, and I almost said yes."

"You're welcome. Bye."

"Wait! You have to go with me now." He looked up at me with his dull grey eyes and pasty pale skin. It made me sick.

"I thought I was just a 'Mudblood' as you say."

"Yeah, but you're special. Your grandfather killed other muggles and stuff."

Oh God! Malfoy had no idea what he was talking about. In the first place, that was my stepgrandfather, not my biological one. Second, Gozaburo disgusted my father and I inherited the same irreverence for him. Third, well, this might be fun after all. "My grandfather only made the weapons. He was too chicken-shit to actually use them. Granger's grandfather, on the other hand, did use them. I believe it was known as World War two."

Malfoy's eyes lit up. "R-really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Go open a history book sometime. You might be surprised what muggles have done to each other." I turned to leave.

"Wait! What will I tell Pansy?"

"That's your problem."

"Janet! Don't go!"

I walked around the corner, ignoring him. If that sniveling little twerp thought he was worth my time, he could just forget it. I had bigger dreams, and he wasn't in them.

…Later that evening…

"How did the meeting with Professor Burbage go?" Granger asked. She pretended she came all the way over to the Ravenclaw dorm to make small talk with me, but I knew better.

I gave her the big, fake smile she always gives me, took out my laptop, and typed in the password to the guest account. "My owl just took her blood sample to the lab. The results should be in sometime tonight. Why don't you take a look and let me know how it turns out? While you're waiting, you can check up on the muggle world."

Granger put up a polite protest over me allowing her to use my laptop for her own personal enjoyment, but in the end she snuggled into a corner of the Ravenclaw common room with it. I went back to my room and studied for a while, feeling sorry that the poor girl had to make a fool of herself every time she wanted to use a piece of real technology. Her parents could not even buy her a smart phone, let alone set up an extra satellite to bring the internet to this crumbling old slum of a school.

After an hour or so, an Eagle owl fluttered through my window. It dropped a little scroll of parchment on my trunk and squawked at me. Unfortunately, Granger walked in at that moment with my laptop under her arm. "Hey, it's getting late and… is that Draco's owl?"

I shrugged. All owls look alike to me.

"I think she's got a message for you and she wants you to respond to it." Granger reached for the parchment, but the owl snapped its beak at her. The owl then picked up the scroll again and flung it into my lap.

I sighed and unrolled the scroll. Right there in black ink was the most pathetic note I have ever seen. He was offering me everything under the sun to get me to go to the Yule Ball with him so he would not have to go with Pansy. I crumpled it and threw it back to the owl.

Granger looked shocked. "What did he say to you?"

"He needs a Yule Ball date and he thinks I'm his type or something."

"But he's not your type?"

"Of course not."

Granger wrung her hands, looking from me to the owl, which was still holding out for a new scroll. "What is your type?"

"Not him."

"Are you… are you a lesbian?"

I stared at her evenly, neither confirming not denying anything, but letting her draw her own conclusions.

"I'm sorry, it's just that Draco, um, can you keep a secret? I'll keep your secret. I swear I won't tell anyone."

I had to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. Granger had nothing on me, and even if it were true, it wouldn't be the least of my worries. I nodded slowly and just let her keep on talking.

"I've been wanting to… reach out to Draco, but I don't know how. He seems like he could be a nice guy under all that sneering and stuff. I just think that if someone really showed him that he was loved and needed, he might change. I know Draco says he hates us muggle-borns, but if he likes you, maybe he would give me a chance. Maybe it's all just an act he's putting on."

I remained silent while she continued to make a fool of herself. It wasn't my problem, but it was entertaining to observe.

"Maybe I could go to the dance with him. I mean, if that's OK with you."

"You don't need my permission."

Granger blushed even deeper. "Yeah, but it's just that he's not asking me and I thought maybe you would want to go with him just because… maybe as friends or something."

I had the urge to embarrass Granger further by suggesting that we both go with him, but that was going a little too far. Besides, Malfoy didn't even deserve two dates, especially if I was one of them. The little creep couldn't even be honest with a girl he was trying to get rid of. Instead, I said, "He's all yours. Enjoy!"

Granger's eyes shifted from me to the owl, which was busy preening itself. "What do I say? I can't just ask him out when he's really interested in you."

Granger was really starting to get on my nerves now. This stuff was none of my business and I did not want to make it my business. Besides, if I helped her, she might try to help me back by setting me up with a date to the Yule Ball. "That's your problem."

Granger's face turned beet red, this time from anger. "You know Janet, you don't have to be cold and callous all the time. Can't you try being nice and helpful once in a while?"

"I let you borrow my laptop," I pointed out.

"Yeah but… OK, you're right. I guess if I want Draco I'll have to figure out how to impress him on my own."

She looked so sad and forlorn that I decided to throw her a bone. "You know, you could try being cold and callous like me for a change. That's probably what attracted him to me in the first place. Oh, and show him some pictures of your grandfather in World War two. It will be like porn to him."

Granger shuddered, and then thought for a while. Finally, she took out a piece of parchment and started jotting down her thoughts. After what seemed like a decade, she rolled it into a little scroll and tried to give it to the owl. The owl squawked and slashed her arm with a talon.

When I saw the damage that dirty little fowl caused, I whipped out my duel disk and activated my shadow spell card. The stupid chicken flapped and called out in panic as the chains tightened around its body. When it was fully immobilized, I took Granger's scroll and tied it to the owl's leg so tightly that Malfoy would have to use a charm to get it off. I then let the bird go. It shook its leg and tried to get the note off, but it finally admitted defeat and flew back to its master in humiliation.

Granger looked upset about my treatment of the animal, but since she was nursing a wound from it, she refrained from commenting. "Thanks Janet. How can I ever repay you?"

"Don't."

"Don't you at least want to know what I wrote?"

"I really don't care."

At that point, there was no reason to continue the conversation and Granger left in a huff. I can't say I was sorry to see her go. She did save me the trouble of dealing with Malfoy directly, but that nosy little witch really needs to learn how to mind her own business.

…several days later….

Another note fluttered across my books. This had been happening so often lately that I wanted to catch one of the little origami cranes and send it flying up to Professor Snape. However, as dreadful as I found these distractions, I wasn't about to turn in a fellow student. The privacy of those notes was a sacred privilege I dared not transgress in case I ever found myself with the irresistible desire to write one myself. Besides, Granger would probably give herself away before the day was over if she didn't stop giggling.

Then again, she blended in well with the other snickering students who tossed notes to one another. Most of them just crumpled up their notes and threw them, but Granger and Malfoy at least had the class to fold them into interesting shapes. Snape paced the aisle behind Potter and Weasly, swatting the backs of their heads when they talked too much. However, he did not seem to notice when Granger spoke. Maybe it was because she was a girl, or maybe it was because she was slipping love notes to his favorite pupil.

Suddenly, Granger stood up and stormed out of the room. Well, not suddenly. Apparently Weasly had said something to provoke her. I really wasn't paying that much attention.

…

Later that night, Granger came to my dorm sobbing.

"They'll never understand! You're the only one I can talk to," she wailed.

"You mean you can't talk to someone who actually cares?" I asked.

"Exactly! This is the ultimate betrayal to them. They'll think I've gone mad! Well, maybe I have, actually."

"Hm. Well, perhaps you should seek a psychiatrist, then. I'm certainly not qualified to deal with your issues."

"I'm not mad, I'm in love!" Granger clenched her fists in fury.

"You just admitted that you may have gone mad. I thought that meant you were past the denial phase. That's the first step to getting help."

Granger shook a finger at me. "No! You're the one who needs help, Janet. You don't care about anyone but yourself."

I smirked. "Oh. I get it now. You're suffering from PMS. Have they figured out any spells to deal with that yet? Here. Why don't you just eat some of this chocolate and play on my laptop until you feel better." I presented her with my laptop and a bar of chocolate my aunt had sent me from Ecuador when she visited the president there. Hopefully it would get her out of my face for a while.

"Is… is that fair trade chocolate?"

"Do you need to have your eyes checked, too?" My smirk widened.

She reached for the laptop and stared down at the bar that was resting on top of it. "Oh my god! Janet, I take back everything I said. I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend."

"Apology accepted. Now, why don't you go get yourself some professional advice?"

"I, uh… Yeah, that might be a good idea."

Granger scurried away to find a quiet spot in the common room. The other Ravenclaws had become accustomed to seeing her there and did not pay her much attention. They were too busy with their own studies anyway.

While she was gone, that dreadful owl came back. This time, it flew around the room looking in every nook and cranny before it released the scroll it carried. It high-tailed its way out of my room without waiting for a response.

I unrolled the scroll and found an incredibly lame death threat. Either Malfoy had not put much thought into it or he had no imagination whatsoever. In any case, it was completely unnecessary. Malfoy was under the impression that I would squeal to his friends about his little romance with Granger. Honestly, could he get any more dense? Now I had to tell someone. It wasn't because I gave a toad's tooth about any of Granger's private business, but because I had promised my father to report any and all threats of this nature.

I took out my smart phone and tapped a note to my mother explaining how stupid this boy was and how it really wasn't all that big of a deal that he thought he could get the better of me. If my hunch was correct, she would keep my father from going ballistic when he got the news. All she had to do was look at him with her sweet olivine doe eyes, and he would do anything she wanted.

When Granger finished with my laptop, it was so late she had to sleep on the sofa in the common room. Before she slept, she came back into the common room to talk to me.

"You know, your boyfriend just threatened to kill me if I told anybody about you two. He doesn't want to be seen at the Yule Ball with you, either."

Granger put her hand over her mouth to hide a gasp.

"The way I see it, your problems are solved. Now you don't have to worry about telling your friends."

Granger considered what I said for a few moments. She didn't seem too happy about it, but in the end she just nodded silently and went away. Finally! Some peace and quiet.

Closing Note: Sorry to end it this way, but it was getting kinda long and Janet was running out of patience. So, now Hermione and Draco have a secret relationship. Yay!

Now instead of having a song at the beginning, I'm going to suggest a closing credit song: "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects.

Please review!