It's a crack fic. Don't take it too seriously. I just love to bash Sasuke. He's just so...bash-able? Bash-worthy? Yeah you get the point.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"Sakura..."The words lingered in the air as Sasuke saw Sakura for the first time in a year. He was home, he was finally back in Konoha, back to the team that he grew up with.
Sakura stood a few feet away on her way to the hospital. The breeze picked up a few strands of her hair and they blew about her face gently. Viridian eyes misted over in confusion. Sasuke guessed that she mustn't be able to believe it, that he had come home and without being forced. But then her brows furrowed and she cocked her head.
He thought he'd never seen something more adorable in his life, that is until she opened her mouth to speak.
"I'm sorry but who are you?"
What? How can she just say that, he thought to himself.
"Sakura it's me Sasuke I'm home."
"I don't remember you..." she said and stepped back a bit as if afraid of this man with the strange gleam in his eyes who was staring at her a bit too hard for her to be really comfortable.
This was not what Sasuke expected his welcome to be like. He'd expected tears and yells maybe even anger but this...
Unacceptable, she couldn't have just forgotten him like that. She said she loved him for God's sake, no one forgets their love. And so the anger in him grew.
"How can you say that? You love me remember, you're my biggest fan girl. Granted we haven't seen each other in a year and even when we have met it's usually been of opposing sides in a battle but-you can't just forget me." He concluded in an arrogant tone.
She blinked once before answering him."I have amnesia. I don't remember anything except for the past 11 months give or take."
"What?"
"Um Amnesia...Yeah apparently it was this huge battle and I got hit on the head and the next thing I know I wake up in a hospital with this woman with HUGE breast crying over me and a brunette with a pig. Now I know them as Tsunade and Shizune but you get the point."
"You really don't remember me?"
"No."
"Really?"
"LOL Just kidding. Of course I remember you Sasuke. Especially the part where you left me on a bench when I was knocked out. By you. Really Sasuke just because you run off to be a paedophile's victim doesn't mean you get to force everyone else into it."Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Anyways I have work to do. All I was doing was stalling so that the ANBU behind you could inject a chakra suppressor."And he realised this when he tried to dispel it as if it this were a genjutsu but couldn't summon chakra to do so.
"I'll see you at your trial for betraying the village. Remember the head of your fan club Ami? Well she runs the council now. So you'd better prepare for a rough ride. I heard some of the things she wanted to do to you."She wrinkled her nose. "Anko's been a bad, bad influence on her."
At this point Sasuke was so pale he might as well as have been made of paper.
"Oh well, what's done is done. At least you'll have proof of your first time with a woman."
"Wh-what?" Sasuke croaked out. Nothing was going according to plane today.
"Yeah Ami likes to record and share her ...erm transgressions."