Tenchi's Wedding Night
By Galaxy1001D
Tenchi Muyo and all related characters and songs are © AIC/Pioneer. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer, the author, or this website.
Based on "Tenchi Muyo" created by Masaki Kajishima
Pushing a key on her holographic keyboard, Washu summoned a device that looked like a miniature camcorder. A flying miniature camcorder. She rose from the floating cushion she used as a seat and spoke to the levitating device.
"Hey there, Tenchi fans!" called Washu's nasal voice. "After all this time, Tenchi Masaki has finally gotten married! Yup! The universe's most eligible bachelor has been taken!"
In an attempt to make the shot more dramatic Washu walked around her laboratory while keeping her smiling face pointed at the camera.
"The boy wanted to be a bachelor a while longer, but those crazy girls wouldn't let him be! So finally, he came to his senses and proposed to the girl he loved."
The carrot-topped girl struck a melodramatic pose.
"It was awful! The proposal was so sweet and romantic, that even those of us who knew better fell in love with him all over again! Still, the rest of the girls took it pretty well, all things considered. I think that deep down, we all knew who Tenchi would pick in the end."
"I certainly did!" she winked as she wagged her finger at the camera. "Ya can't fool a genius after all! I knew who Tenchi would pick from the very beginning, you could see it on their faces! I just wanted to have a crack at Tenchi before he listened to his heart and chose the lucky girl! Oh well." She snapped her fingers in mock disappointment. "Ya can't blame a girl for tryin'!"
As she walked around her lab eventually a large Star Trek style viewscreen came into view.
"Still, it's not a complete loss! Mister and Missus Tenchi Masaki leave for their honeymoon tomorrow. That means that we have tonight to eavesdrop on their wedding night!" Washu paused to clasp her hands together and cackle insanely. "Heh-heh-heh! Nobuyuki taught me that one can admire a work of art without having to take it off the wall and walk out of the museum with it! That means that we can admire Tenchi's technique in the bedroom without having to jump on him and rip his clothes off!"
She gestured to the huge viewscreen behind her.
"I've got microscopic cameras hidden in his room and I've got concealed microphones in there too! The system is hooked up to a computer more sophisticated than anything you got here on Earth and it's programmed with the latest directormatic software. That means that when we look in on them, we'll get close-ups and camera angles just like watching a TV show! Pretty neat huh?"
She made a 'follow me' gesture with her forefinger and turned to approach the viewscreen. She pushed a button and turned a few dials. Satisfied, she nodded to herself and turned back to the camera as if she was a game show host.
"Tenchi and his bride have retired to their room, so let's tune in and take a look at them getting freaky shall we?" Her face looked gigantic as it leered at the camera once more. "Heh-heh-heh!" she cackled evilly. "All the awkwardness, all the passion, all the pleasure will be ours to enjoy!" she cried as she waved her hands in the air. She turned and pressed a button on her console. "Time to turn on the Voyeuratron 2000 and sneak a peek! Time to bring peeping to the next level!"
The camera focused on the screen as a view appeared of two figures in Tenchi's bedroom.
"…and the good fairy took the little bear out of the woods, to a magical place where he and his friends could live in peace and safety forever. And the little bear lived happily until the day he died. The end." He closed the book and smiled down at the blue-haired girl in the bed.
Tenchi's bride hugged purring Ryo-ohki in her arms. "Oh Tenchi, what a wonderful story! I'm so happy! I can't wait to start our honeymoon tomorrow."
"Me too, Sasami," He closed the book and put it back on the shelf.
"It's getting late," Sasami glanced at the clock and yawned. "Shouldn't we turn off the light?"
"I suppose so, Darling," Tenchi sighed. "It must be nearly…seven o'clock." He switched off the light, and then bent over to kiss the girl and her cabbit goodnight.
"Goodnight Tenchi," smiled Sasami dreamily as Tenchi walked across the room to where a second bed was waiting for him.
"Goodnight Sasami," he replied as he kicked off his slippers and climbed into his bed.
Back in her lab, Washu looked disappointed.
"Okay, that wasn't as sexually titillating as it could have been," she admitted. "Tell you what!" she proposed, her old spirit restored. "We'll wait ten years and then try again! Their ten-year anniversary should really be something to see. Goodbye!" She waved at the camera as it levitated away and stopped recording.
END