Hi guys! It's been a long time since I've written anything and I think it's time I get back to it! My sophomore year of college is over and I'm on summer break. But I'll be honest; today has been such crap and I needed to do SOMETHING to make it somewhat better. And what better way to do so than to write and OLICITY FIC!
This story is based off this past week's episode of Arrow, "Monument Point" (4x21) and the effect of the casualties on Felicity. The details of this story contain ***spoilers*** from the episode and one or two lines from the prior episode to this week's (4x20) and probably most of it is my imagination as well...
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Arrow, DC comics, and/or a Nightwing Funko Pop! ( Working on that last one ;)
"How many casualties?" Felicity wished she didn't have to ask, but she needed to know. How many lives is she responsible for, how many families were lost today, how many kids will never see adulthood, how many…
"10,503 casualties" Lyla responded after a moment.
Felicity froze after hearing the number; the only parts of her functioning were the tears making a clear path down her cheeks.
Lyla took notice of Felicity's awestruck expression and continued:
"It could've been millions, even billions of people! You did the right things and saved many lives today, Felicity." Lyla place a gentle hand on Felicity's shoulder, but all Felicity could feel is a void opening within herself that she knows she'll never fill again.
Felicity looked to the ARGUS leader and then down to her hand, "They're still gone…"
Two hours after the missile demolished Havenbrook Felicity packed up her belongings and left the building as soon as she could. She couldn't look anyone in the eye, she felt vulnerable and sick.
Somehow she managed to get into her mini and drive home to her apartment. When she pulled up to her apartment complex she saw a man walking his dog, she glanced at the digital green clock on her radio, it read 5:30am. She watched the man walk past with his dog and wondered if he had family in Havenbrook.
What if his dog was from there?
She shook her head and opened her car door. Walking under the green awning of the apartment complex and past the doorman, she quickly made her way to the golden elevator and pushed the up arrow. As soon as the elevator arrived she pushed the glowing yellow button for floor twenty-six and waited for the golden doors to shut tightly. As the doors were almost closed a hand slipped between the gap, signaling the doors to reopen.
A middle-aged man came in wearing a grey and red jogging outfit and had a newspaper in hand. He gave Felicity a small smile and hit the button for floor thirty-five. After the doors finally closed the man stood leaning against the far wall and unfolded his newspaper.
She could hear the man grunt all of a sudden.
Felicity glanced to her left, taking note of the headline for the day.
Havenbrook no More!
She felt her heart sink into her stomach.
The man started to speak, "It's a shame, I remember going there for my honeymoon with my wife. Such a beautiful city, too bad it's gone now. They think it was an accidental firing on the Russians behalf. They claim that they were locked out of their systems after a rookie was messing around with the controls." The man rolled his brown eyes as he continued to read the article.
"Uh…yeah, it's a shame…all those people." She could barley make a coherent sentence.
How can it already be in the newspaper?
"Yeah, a total of 10,607 people are dead. Since it was a nuclear explosion, it happened so fast that there was no chance for anyone surviving a hit like that. It's like WWII all over again in Hiroshima, but instead it happened here. When I was a young man we had the 'Duck and Cover' drill, teaching us how to protect ourselves from nuclear warfare…" The man continued to talk about his childhood as Felicity spaced out.
10,607 people are dead…that's 104 more people than two hours ago…
Completely stuck in her own head she almost missed the DING of the elevator for her floor.
"Miss, I think this is your floor" he waved a wrinkled hand in front of Felicity's face.
"Oh, thanks. Enjoy your reading and that was an interesting story of your childhood. Whelp," she gestured outside of the elevator, "I'll be a going." She awkwardly waved at the man and exited the elevator as fast as she could, leaving the man in the jogging suit behind.
She bolted to her apartment door and hastily unlocked the door. After placing her keys in the small cat painted dish on the side table she threw her phone and bag onto the tan sofa. Stepping into the bathroom she slammed the door behind her. Pulling the purple curtain aside, Felicity clogged the drain, poured some soap, and turned on the water. After the tub was full of lavender scented bubbles she moved, now facing the off-white sink and oval mirror. Blankly looking at herself she noticed a few things: black and orange glasses askew, gold swirl industrial piercing missing a ball, messy blonde hair falling out of her signature ponytail and very pale skin.
She gently touched her face and pulled her cheeks.
I still have my skin…
The world started to shift around her; shutting her eyes tightly she quickly gripped the shell shaped sink for support and hoped the nausea would pass.
All those people…gone.
They're dead because of me…all because I couldn't do it in time…I wasn't good enough…I played God and failed…
"She's the best," Oliver proudly claimed earlier that day.
Felicity laughed weakly as she stared at her reflection, "Yeah, I'm 'the best'!" and made a WOO! motion with her hand.
Taking a deep breath she pushed away from the sink and stripped. After the last article of clothing left her body she stepped into the warm bath and tried to relax. She closed her eyes and laid her head back on a small pink towel.
"Come on Felicity, you need to relax! Come on, R-E-L-A-X" she took a deep breath and subconsciously twitched her foot, a nervous tick she recently developed after her post-paralysis. She huffed and tried to hum a few bars of her favorite song.
"Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call…"
Knock Knock
Felicity frowned and sat up in the bath. She tossed her phone on the couch before she made it to the bathroom before, wanting to avoid the rest of the team. She knew Oliver and Digg had gone to go find out the new lead on Dhark. She was grateful Oliver wasn't there when the missile hit Havebrook, she couldn't stand to see the look he would have given her for her inability to stop the missile, she was suppose to be 'the best' as he put it, and she let her team, her whole country, down.
Knock Knock
"UGH! Whomever you are, I am a highly skilled…skilled..uh…skilled martial arts sensei that can kick you butt!" Felicity yelled from the bathroom, hoping she sounded halfway intimidating, but even in her state she knew she sounded stupid.
"Really now, which type? 'Cus that means you've been holding out on me, Felicity" she rolled her eyes and sunk back into her warm bath.
"Go away, Oliver!" she yelled in response.
He went silent for a moment before responding.
"Are you going to let me in or should I just break down the door, Sensei Smoak?" she heard a light chuckled in the man's voice and felt part of herself lighten a bit.
She sighed and yelled back, "Give me a minute, I'm naked…oh frack" she palmed her forehead at her poor choice of words. Stepping out of the bath she grabbed the blue towel from the small linen closet and cleaned herself of bubbles.
After grabbing the forest green robe off the door hook she made her way to the front door and peeped through the eyehole.
"Are you alone?" she asked. She wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but she'd make an exception for Oliver.
She could hear him shift behind the door, a sign that he was anxious.
"Yes, Felicity. Now can you please open the door? It's sort of awkward talking to you through a door." He pulled on the doorknob for emphasis.
She nodded even though she knows he can't see her. She unlocked the door and swung it open and stepped aside, giving him enough room to enter. He walked in slowly, surveying the unfamiliar area and closed the door gently behind him. He took in the appearance of the woman in front of him. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing his color.
She saw him checking her out and she subconsciously pulled the robe tighter around herself.
He slightly shook his head and stepped closer to Felicity, enough to invade her personal space she tried creating between them.
"How are you feeling? Lyla got a hold of John and I before we arrived at Dhark's location and informed us of the outcome of the last missile." He laid a hand on the same shoulder Lyla did hours ago, but she felt nothing but that void within herself. But right now she feel part of that void fill, making the pain of what happened dull just a little bit.
Felicity felt part of herself break seeing the complete look of sadness engulf Oliver's face.
"Felicity," he paused and gently wiped away her tears. Feeling the touch of his hand on her skin broke the dam and she flew into his arms, uncontrollably sobbing. She tried so hard to keep her cool back in the building, but the second Oliver entered her home she knew that the façade would come crumbling down. He always knew how to make her feel safe after horrific nights like this one, but nothing can compare to this and she didn't know how to cope with it.
He instantly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest. He rested his head upon hers and just held her. He'd let her cry until she was feeling better; even if it meant standing in the middle of a hallway for hours.
"Shhh…. It's alright Felicity." He rubbed her back slowly knowing it always calmed her down. The last time he did this was the day after her father went off to prison and she felt guilt ridden for calling the cops on him. They laid in bed all day and he just held her and rubbed her back, letting her get her feelings out in the open.
She hiccupped, "They're all gone, Oliver. 10,607 people are dead because I wasn't at my best tonight!" She took a second to catch her breath and continued, "First I get fired from Palmer Tech and then I let a whole city get obliterated from the map because a man with his mouth sewn shut tried to shoot me and my dad had to be a 'hero' and took a bullet for me. And to make matters even worse I totally just ruined your shirt! Ugh, I hate this! I hate myself so much right now! I let so many people down tonight. I can't even stand myself right now!" She burred herself deeper in to Oliver's chest and silently cried.
Oliver stepped back from Felicity and took her hand in his. He walked them down the hallway to the first room, which was a small living area that consisted of a glass circular table with an eloquent faded gold stand. A small area rug that was deep purple, a flat screen, and a tan love sofa. He looked to his left and saw the bathroom and then to the right was a small kitchen and beyond that room was another area that lead to her bedroom. He moved towards the kitchen and made it to the bedroom door. He gently pushed it open and flicked the light switch on.
He led her to the bed and gestured for her to sit down. She sniffled and plopped down on her sky blue sheets and matching comforter. Oliver let go of her hand and walked over to her white dresser and started to open drawers looking for pajamas. In the first drawer he found some of his old shirts that he swore went missing. He grabbed two of them and opened the next drawer pulling out a pair of black shorts and a pair of panties.
He walked back over to Felicity and handed her the clothing but kept one of the shirts to change into.
"Here, put these on while I go get you a small towel and water." He left the room before she could explain why she had his shirts.
She quickly pulled the shirt on and changed into the panties and shorts before he came back. After retrieving the towel and water Oliver gently knocked on the door before entering the room.
"It is okay to come in?" he asked.
She weakly replied, "Yes" and he entered the room, also dressed in a new shirt.
She noticed his new shirt and quickly blurted, "I guess you found your missing shirts that I kinda took…sorry about that." She looked away and sniffled again.
He lightly chucked, "It's okay Felicity. At least I know where they are now."
He gave the cup of water to Felicity and she took a few gulps and placed the cup on her marble nightstand, in front of her small white lamp. Oliver sat down next to her on the bed and cleaned her face of dried tears with the damp towel he retrieved.
He positioned her face making sure she was facing him when he started to speak, "Look. I know what happened today was probably the worst thing to happen since…well we've been through a lot of tough situations and this was one where we had no control over what the outcome was. What you did today was outstanding—"
"But I—!" He placed a finger against her lips before she said anymore.
"Please let me finish and then you can say all you want, I promise."
"Okay."
"As I was saying, what you did today was outstanding. You prevented the complete destruction of the world! You saved so many lives today and you saved all of us." He took her hands in his, "Yes, 10,607 people may have died. But that is nothing compared to the billions that could have. I know that you must feel an empty space right now and I know that feeling more than anybody. But I, because of you, was able to figure out how to fill that void. And what I need you to do is to think of the good things that can fill that void within you because I know that if there is anyone that can fill a blank space within him or her due to a terrible situation, it's YOU Felicity. Like I said before, 'you always bring the light' and I need you to do that now." He looked deep into her blue eyes and could see the wheels turning in her head.
"I-I don't think I can do that. I don't know what to feel right now. Back there, in the building, Lyla put her hand on my shoulder like you did before and I felt nothing then. But this," she squeezed his hands, "is the first thing I've actually felt in the last few hours and I don't know if this is being forward, well since it's me its kinda normal, but can you please stay? Unless you think that's a bad idea? I mean we were engaged and have slept together…and what I mean by that is in the same bed and stuff, completely platonically asking this even though its totally not platonic asking you ex-fiancé to stay the night, well now technically morning see that the sun is almost fully out…errr I'm just gonna-" She made a lock and key motion with her hand near her mouth and threw a fake key across the room.
Oliver smiled at her offer, "You know I'd do anything for you."
She felt herself lighten at his words and even smiled for the first time that day.
"There's that light I was talking about" he caressed the side of her mouth and she yawned.
"I think its time for bed, Sensei Smoak" her eyes widened at the nickname.
"Oh hush, I thought you were a burglar or something!" she playfully hit his chest.
He looked at her oddly, "What burglar knocks before entering a home?"
"A well-mannered o-ooonnn-eee!" she yawned again.
"Get into bed, I'm going to make sure the front door is locked and that the apartment is secured. I'll be right back." He placed a kiss on her head without thought and left the room. She sat there a moment radiating in the electrical spark she always felt from Oliver's kisses. Getting up from the bed she walked up to the window, across the room, and made sure it was locked and then closed the dark blue curtains. She made her way back over to her bed and pulled back the comforter and slithered her way into the bed.
A few moments later Oliver entered the room again and shut the door behind him. He noticed that Felicity was already lightly snoring. He was glad that she was able to fall asleep without a problem. He made his way to the other side of the bed and pulled back the comforter. Slowly sitting down on the bed, not wanting to wake Felicity up, he quickly discarded his pants, leaving him in his boxers, and pulled the comforter over himself.
He shifted to lie on his side facing Felicity's back. He didn't move to pull her to his chest, he didn't want to make things weird, even though being here next to her again felt like he never left. It made it seem that everything was normal and okay between them. He wasn't sure about that until Felicity rolled over and cuddled into his side, resting her head on his chest. She'd always do this when falling asleep in the loft and she still does even after all this time.
His arm slowly came around her to hold her close, but not pulling her completely against him.
"Oliver?" she sleepily asked.
"Yes?" he didn't dare to breath, fearful that she would want him to get out of her bed and demand that he leaves.
She looked up into his eyes and moved to place a small kiss on his cheek, "Thank you for coming, I don't know what I would be doing right now if you didn't show up. I'd probably be looking up the different percentages of ages of the victims. And don't be afraid to hold me. I don't bite." She rested her head on his heart and started to drift off to sleep again.
But not before she heard three faint words from a sleep deprived hero and she fell soundly asleep thinking about how she was going to turn the day around later.
"I love you"
I love you too…
Here it is guys! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. As I was halfway through it I was sort of thinking about making it a three-shot, but then I decided to leave it here because I believe it ended where it should.
I hope we get to see the effects of this week's episode on Felicity next week, but as we saw Oliver will be nowhere near Felicity next episode since he'll be off saving Thea!
Lets hope for the best!
Please review and let me know if you guys want any stories made that are Olicity related and I can maybe make them happen!
~MadameDegrassi354