None of these drabbles will probably make any sense, but they're just some fun that my friends and I have at lunch, nothing more. You don't have to read it. xD Anyways, they're basically just Spongebob episodes with the YGO characters. They won't be word for word, but they will be close.

Warnings: None

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or Spongebob Squarepants

It was a bright, sunny day in Domino City. It was especially bright at the central park, families out and enjoying the beautiful, summer day. Dogs were barking, kids were screaming in delight as they chased each other around and couples were enjoying the shade as they ate under the tall, oak trees. It seemed like almost everyone in the entire city was there on this day. Even the plants seemed brighter today, standing upright and letting the sunshine gleam off their petals and stocks.

The only person that didn't seem all that pleased with the bright sun was a certain 3,000 year old tomb robber from ancient Egypt. It was rather odd, how he was from one of the hottest places in the word and yet despised the sun with a burning passion. He blamed it on his former host's body. It wasn't muscular, tan or tall like his was. His landlord was skinny, petite and as pale as all hell. It made it hard for him to sneak around, which was exactly what he was doing.

As he slid gracefully behind the tree, he poked his white-haired head out. Immediately, a small smirk formed on his face as he spotted his Hikari's fluffy head. Said Hikari was crouched beside a patch of honeysuckle, touching them gently with his thin fingers, a small, little smile on his face.

"Heh, I gotcha now, Yadonushi…" he said to himself, a note of triumph in his hushed voice.

As quick as lightning, he shot out from his hiding place and tackled his light to the ground, grinning as Ryou let out a sharp squeak of surprise and went tumbling to the floor. He blinked his large, doe-brown eyes up at his Yami, confusion in them.

"Bakura? What are you—"

"Tag, you're it, little one." Was all the tomb robber said, tapping the boy's pale nose teasingly before he bounced off of him and took off in another direction, laughing one of his evil laughs. Ryou sat up, blinking.

"I didn't know we were playing Tag, but alright!" He wouldn't turn the chance down to play a harmless game with his Yami, seeing as all the games Bakura knew weren't all that harmless. Nevertheless, he beamed cutely and stood up, taking off after his dark.

Bakura, meanwhile, had sprinted over to another group of tall trees and was in the process of choosing a tree to hide behind. Once he found a large, thick-trunked one that looked like something out of a Tim Burton movie, he hid his skinny body behind it, chuckling. "Heh, Ryou won't find me back here…~" he murmured to himself.

Of course, as fate would have it, the young light moved over and set eyes upon his Yami. He smiled softly, his small finger prodding Bakura's shoulder gently. "Tag, Yami!" he said, laughing a soft laugh of excitement.

The tomb robber glared at his light, eyes narrowed. "Damn it, landlord. You weren't supposed to find me so easily."

Ryou's brown eyes sparkled with amusement. "Well I did. And now you're it, Bakura!" he declared. The ancient spirit growled but before he could retort to his innocent light, he nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt a pair of hands cover his eyes and a deep, scratching voice whispering in his ear.

"Guess whooo~"

Oh, dear Ra…

"Hello, Marik." He groaned in a near monotone voice.

The youngest Yami, who had quite literally come out of nowhere, grinned widely as he turned Bakura around and squeezed him tightly, making the tomb robber "gaak" as the air suddenly left his chest. He pushed against the tanned darkness, growling. "Get the hell off me!"

Marik finally released the older Yami, ruffling his tangled white hair roughly, grinning at the growl of annoyance that rumbled in Bakura's throat. "Hello Bakura and Bakura's light! Watcha doing?"

Before the tomb robber could speak, Ryou pushed his way forward, that same polite smile he always had written across his face. "Bakura and I are playing Tag, Marik. Would you like to join us?"

Lilac eyes widened with excitement as the Yami grinned, nodding his head furiously. "Tag? Yes, yes, yes!"

"No! Landlord…"

"Hush, Bakura. Just let him play." The small light said, reaching forward and squeezing his Yami's hand gently while flashing him one of those adorable smiles, one that Bakura himself could help but smile back to. It was a small smile though, he tried to reassure himself. The thief then turned around and rolled his eyes.

"Alright then. Tag, you're it…" he muttered, prodding Marik's arm, probably harder then was necessary. The Yami didn't seem to mind much as he let out a happy noise and squirmed, throwing his arms in the air.

"I'm it! I'm it, I'm it!"

He looked around, noticing that Ryou was still right next to him; he grinned widely and tapped the boy's small shoulder. "Tag, you're it! I win, I win!" he announced, much more excited now he had bested them both in this game.

He was interrupted by a soft, purring sound and turned around, noticing that the small light had wrapped his arms around his tree trunk-like torso and was nuzzling his back softly. He snorted softly, a little confused. Bakura, who had started paying attention again, noticed it too and growled, a spark of jealousy in his eyes.

"Hey, what's up with your Hikari, 'Kura?" Marik asked, watching Ryou cling to him. He only shivered when the boy's nuzzling rubbed against his sensitive scars.

Bakura, growling louder at the nickname, reached forward and grabbed his light's small shoulders and proceeded to try and pull him off of the younger Yami, frowning. "I don't know, but whatever it is, it's ending now. Get off, landlord."

It took some time, and some irritating psychotic giggles from Marik, before Ryou's arms finally came free and he landed in Bakura's arms. The brown-eyed demon narrowed his eyes at Marik. "Hmph." Was all he voiced before he started pulling his light away, wanting to stay as far away from the tanned dark as possible.

However, he only got a few paces before he noticed that Ryou was no longer next to him and he frowned, looking about. "Ryou?" he called, using his Hikari's name, a rare occurrence. As he kept his head on a swivel, he looked around and frowned as he noticed that Marik had obviously grown bored and was now grinning evilly at a wandering squirrel.

Bakura sighed, dreading having to actually speak to the childish Yami again, but finding no other choice. "Tomb Keeper, did you see where my Hikari ran off to?" he frowned.
With one of his meaty hands wrapped around the poor squirrel's tail, the tiny creature writhing around desperately with high-pitched squeaks, he turned around, grinning widely. "Nope."

Bakura dead-panned. "Marik."

Ryou was attached to his chest, skinny limbs wrapped around him tightly.

Marik looked down, his face conveying a sudden "ah-ha!" moment. "Oh, here he is!" he exclaimed, tilting his head curiously as Ryou's kitten-like purrs reached his tanned ears. He was purring and nuzzling him, rather affectionately.

The pale tomb robber was still frowning, mostly because he was jealous. But, he was also confused. Why was his light so attached to Marik all of a sudden? Marik, Yami Marik, the self-proclaimed psycho and crazy bastard. "Come on, Hikari. We have to let Marik be on his way now."

The younger Yami waved his hand, still grinning down at the smiling Ryou. "I don't mind, 'Kura. Keh, he looks kind of cute."

Bakura growled low in his throat. "Well he has to let go sometime…"

"Hey! Why don't you let him stay the night with me, then?" Marik suddenly suggested, lilac eyes wide with excitement.

Bakura, on the other-hand, looked disgusted. "Absolutely not—"

"Please, Yami?" Came Ryou's soft voice as he looked over his shoulder, doe-brown eyes pleading his dark as he flashed a small smile.

Bakura didn't know why, but he felt a little sting in his chest. It wasn't because of the smug smirk that Marik gave him, nor the fact that his light wanted to spend the night somewhere. But, it was because he wanted to spend the night with Marik. His light never asked to spend the night with him, his own Yami . Never.

"Mn. Fine then. Whatever." He grumbled. "Go have a fan-fucking-tastic time. I'll be at home." he said in a low tone, before spinning around and stomping off towards the house. He completely ignored the small, hurt and confused look Ryou fixed him with and the triumphant smirk that spread across Marik's face like wildfire. He had better things to do…

…or so he was trying to convince himself.

As he propped up the collar of his black trench coat, Bakura shivered at the cool morning air. That night before had driven him crazy. Even though Marik was a little tamer now, he still didn't trust him with a grain of salt, much less with the life of his Hikari. He figured that he could come and pick Ryou up himself, just incase he had to break a finger or two if he was harmed.

Of course, as he came up the street to the Ishtar household, he blinked as he spotted Marik and his light in the yard. It appeared that the psychotic Yami was speaking to Ryou, making him laugh that adorable, tinkling laugh of his, which in turn made Marik grin brightly.

Alright, enough of that.

"Ahem." He cleared his throat, dark brown eyes narrowed. Ryou looked over at his Yami and instantly smiled at him, running the short distance over and wrapping his arms tightly around Bakura. The Yami, while he would usually push the boy away, found himself wrapping an arm around him.

"Hello, Bakura!" he said cheerfully, smiling up at him.

Bakura, to his slight surprise, smirked softly at his joyful light, reaching up and ruffling his hair fondly. "Hello, landlord. Did you have fun last night? Did anything happen?" he asked, eyes shifting up to glare at Marik at the last question.

The tanner Yami didn't seem bothered, though, and just continued to grin that stupid grin of his, walking up behind Ryou as he too ruffled the pale hair. The action, in turn, made Ryou giggle and Bakura snarl quietly. "It was a fun night, especially because wherever I go, Ryou will follow~" he purred, winking at the young light.

Bakura seemed confused at that statement. Why would his light, of all people, follow Marik around? "What?"

However, he soon left there gawking like an idiot as Marik suddenly found it necessary to start frolicking around the yard like a little girl, laughing for absolutely no reason at all and all the while, looking behind him. Sure enough, like if he was in some sort of trance, Ryou greedily followed the youngest Yami, grinning brightly and laughing as well.
Bakura nibbled on his thin lip lightly as that sliver of jealousy wormed into his heart again. Immediately, he moved to cut off Ryou's path. He had to stop this now, before it got out of hand. "Ryou, stop this foolishness right now, and come with me." He frowned.

The young light blinked at his Yami in confusion. "But, Yami—"

"Don't "Yami" me, Hikari. You're coming home with me right now." He growled, grabbing the boy's wrist as he started tugging him out of the Ishtar's yard. "Say goodbye to Marik."

The boy's shoulders slumped sadly as he sighed, looking behind him and waving a little at the youngest of the Yami's, who looked rather confused at Ryou's sudden departure... "Bye…" he muttered.

But Marik protested, crossing his arms. "Hold it right now, dad-mom angry pants."

Bakura stopped at that, turning around with narrowed eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that Ryou knows who he wants to be with right now. So, I suggest you let him go and let him choose." He frowned, stepping closer.
Bakura would have snorted at the thought, had he not seen the rather dejected way the boy was standing. He sighed heavily, releasing the thin wrist he had been holding onto tightly. "Fine then. But I would like to remind him who his Yami is here." He scowled, taking a step back as Marik did as well. He inwardly smirked. This was a no brainer. Ryou would come running back to him, just like he always did. He wasn't worried…

…until he saw the boy turn around and immediately run over into Marik's arms, nuzzling the strong, broad chest of the tanned Yami. Bakura gaped a little bit, in pure shock and surprise. Ryou chose Marik over him. He blinked, his chest clenching a little. "Ryou?"

The younger darkness's infamous smirk curled onto his face as his muscular arms wrapped around the smaller body, obviously triumphant. "Well, well, well, I guess that settles that, huh? Well, we'll see you later, Bakura. Ryou and I have lots of fun stuff to do~" he said, already moving to lead the young light away.

Bakura swallowed thickly, before his face hardened and he growled loudly, trying to hide the injured look that threatened to form on his face . "Alright, fine! If that's how you want to repay me for all I did for you, that's fucking fine!" he shouted after them, not noticing the confused look on his Hikari's face at his words.

Bakura had stomped home, pissed off and even a little hurt at Ryou's "betrayal", sitting on the couch and occupying himself with the television until his light came home. He knew his light would come home, after all. He had to…

…but he never did.

"I…guess you're not coming back…" he said quietly to himself as he remained hunched over in his bed. He had never been without his light before, especially not after Ryou's self-called curfew. He frowned. Had the boy really chosen Marik over him? Had he grown bored of him, or had he finally come to his senses and was leaving Bakura after all of the horrible things said Yami had done to him?

"Hmph, I don't need that little pipsqueak. I'll just…find a new host, a better one then Ryou…" he concluded to himself, frowning deeply in thought. A part of him wanted to slap himself for the stupid idea, while the other part encouraged him to do it and rub it in his light's—former light's, face that he didn't need him, even as he felt hollow inside for even thinking of that.

The first thing that Bakura wanted to do, probably the only thing, was to rub both his former Hikari's and that stupid Yami's face in the fact that he had acquired a new host. So, after dragging said new host down to the Ishtar's house, he made the pointless attempt like he was just walking by.

"Why, hello there. I'm sure you guys are having fun and all, but I want you to say hello to my new Hikari." He stated, tugging the trembling, petite boy into view.

"Uhm, Bakura? Atem is my Yami, and I'm his Hi—" the little light, Yugi, was cut off by Bakura's deadly glare and swallowed thickly, a nervous smile showing on his face. "I-I mean…yes?"

"That's what I thought you said." He said gruffly, looking over into that accursed yard. He blinked. It was like neither Ryou nor Marik heard what he said at all. They just kept up with their playful antics, which looked something like hide-and-seek.

Bakura growled in annoyance. "I'm so glad we went our separate ways, Hikari. This little 'Heart of the Cards' midget really is the best host for me." He stated, before he shouted, "So loyal, so trusting, always by my side!"

"For the love of Ra, Thief! What the hell are you doing with my light?"

Reddish brown eyes rolled. "Oh look, it's the other 'Heart of the Cards' midget." He snorted, watching the Yami that respectfully belonged to Yugi stomp up, amethyst eyes narrowed.

"Did you really think you could steal aibou away from me?" he challenged, opening his arms as Yugi squirmed violently away from Bakura and dove into his Yami's chest.

"I suppose not." Bakura huffed loudly, crossing his arms.

"You're lucky I don't Mind Crush you…"

"Yes, yes, I'm ever so grateful for your mercy. Goodbye now~" he growled loudly, waving both of them off with his hand. Atem blinked, looking a little confused, but just growled himself and started back towards the Game Shop from where he came, keeping Yugi protectively close.

Bakura sighed, annoyed. "Well that could have gone better…"

After the last little incident, Bakura decided he didn't really want to bring his new host out with him, his thought it was best to just bring his new host home and enjoy him for himself.

And, he found his new Hikari was right under his nose.

After sneaking into the Ishtar household that night and chloroforming his intended prize, he dragged him out and brought him back to the house. He wasn't…all too thrilled with this choice, but what other Hikari was there for him to steal?

"BAKUUUURA~!"

Oh dear Ra…

"What, Malik…"

"I'm hungry! Feed me, and feed me now!" the young Egyptian demanded in that horribly annoying nasally voice of his. The former tomb robber rubbed his face tiredly, sighing.

"Malik, I already told you, you don't have to ask me for food. You can just—"

"BAKUUURA~!"

"….what."

"I don't know what crappy food you have in there! You could have deadly explosives or moldy cheese or something! You could be trying to get rid of me!"

Bakura blinked. "Wh—"

"BAKURA!"

"WHAT? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU WANT?"

"…Well sheesh, you don't have to yell at me. I'm gonna go take a nap. Maybe you should think about what you've done." The tanned Hikari said with a soft yawn, hopping off the chair and walking towards the stairs. Bakura huffed, the recent outburst hurting his throat a little.

"Don't sleep in my bed again."

"Shut up, Fluffy!"

Bakura sighed, moving to where a picture of him and Ryou was hanging on the wall, not by his choice, of course. It was a nice picture, Ryou with his cute, little smile and Bakura himself with that usual smirk. "Oh landlord, why did you have to go…" he asked quietly, frowned deeply and lowering his head, lost in his thoughts.

"Yami?" Whose voice was that? It sounded a lot like…

"Ryou?" He looked at the picture, as if he was convinced that that noise had come from it, before he looked behind him and his face fell.

"Hellooo there, Bakura~" Marik said, a challenge in his lilac eyes, Ryou clinging to his muscular arm behind him.

The white-haired Yami sighed tiredly. He really didn't want to deal with this right now. "Hello. Might I ask what the two of you are doing here?"

The younger darkness shrugged, holding a basket out and walking towards where the laundry room was, Ryou and Bakura swiftly following behind him. "Ishizu is off trying to find Malik-pretty, so she didn't do any laundry. Ryou said we could do it here~"

But Bakura wasn't listening to Marik. He was focused on his former light. He swallowed and slowly moved down to kneel in front of him. "Ryou…I'm going to say this and, I promised myself I wouldn't…but I need you, Ryou. I'm a wreck without you here. Please…please please please come home." He begged, he was actually begging.

Ryou blinked those adorable brown eyes at him, confused still. "Yami…"

Marik, however, just snorted, pushing Ryou behind him. "How pathetic. Ryou's with me now, kitten. You had your chance and you failed," at this point, Marik found it some how alright to pull his khaki cargos off and place them in the washer. Thank Ra he was wearing underwear. "Face it, Bakura, you're only hurting yourself. It's what little Ryou wants, and that's me. Right, Ryou?"

There was no answer. Both of the Yami's blinked and looked over to see the pale light was hanging inside the washer, pulling out and holding the pants Marik had just discarded in his small hands, reaching in the pocket.

Lilac eyes blinked again. "He only liked me for my pants?"

Bakura seemed to understand though, mentally letting out a long sigh of relief as he watched Ryou pull out something from that pocket. "No, you idiot. He wanted the cookie you were—Ryou! Don't eat that!" he shouted, smacking the cookie away from his Hikari's hand. "You don't know where that's been."

The white-haired light blinked at his true Yami before he smiled and instantly burrowed his way in the strong arms, nuzzling his Yami softly. "I missed you." He whispered.
Bakura looked down at him and, allowing a small quirk of his lips to appear, wrapped his arms around the small boy as well. "I missed you too, Hikari. Come on, I spotted some fresh creampuffs in the bakery." He said, watching Ryou's eyes light up as he led them both out the door.

A pant-less Marik was left behind, confused by all means. "Ryou? I thought what we had was special!"

Maybe he would find a sleeping Malik upstairs.

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