A/N: Hellooo people :) This story has been converted from one of my non-fanfics, since I figured it could actually fit quite nicely as a Kendall(/Katie)-fic... Originally a one-shot, but it just got too long, so now I'm uploading all five chapters at once :)
Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise, I do NOT own Big Time Rush or the cover photo (no copyright infringement intended)! Nor do I own the lyrics used in the story by In Flames, Down, Slipknot, The Haunted and Throwdown...
Warnings: Hmm, me writing here, so... BAD LANGUAGE, mild drug use, physical abuse, selfharm and oc death...
Have fun reading :D
Monday: In Flames – Scream
Kendall was abruptly ripped out of his dreams when his dad, Brian, started yelling and screaming downstairs. The blonde nearly fell off of his bed to make sure the door was still locked. It was, and Kendall heaved a sigh of relief. The teen turned around and grabbed his phone to see what time it was. 8.05. Shit! He felt his heart race in his chest. Not again!
Kendall quickly got dressed and slipped on his trusty, old Vans and grabbed his backpack before hurrying to the window. His heart dropped when he looked out and saw the rope floating in a puddle in the garden. Fucking crap!
Brian was thrashing around downstairs, working himself into complete hysteria, and Kendall flinched as he heard a plate break before an impressive amount of swear words reached his ears.
"Kendall get your lazy ass down here!" his dad roared in a rasping voice after enumerating every bad word known to mankind.
Kendall felt his heart rate speed up and swallowed his spit as he unlocked the door to go downstairs. What a lovely mood he would meet down there!
x-x
Brian was standing in the kitchen with his back turned. The shards from the plate were scattered across the floor and the fridge wasn't closed properly, a sour stench emerging from there. Clearly it had been open all night. Lovely!
"What the hell took you so long?" the scruffy man yelled when he heard Kendall enter the kitchen.
"I overslept…" Kendall answered, trying to figure out what had caused his dad's crappy mood this time.
Brian scratched his neck with a fork and slowly turned around to face his son.
"There's money missing from my wallet!" he said, voice threatening.
Wonderful, Kendall thought, here we go!
"I didn't take it" he said, preparing for his dad's easily predictable reaction.
Brian turned beet red and squinted, a great sigh escaping him.
"Are you calling me a liar?" he hissed.
"No sir, but I didn't…"
He pushed Kendall back til he hit the wall.
"Well, when it's missing, it has to be you who've taken it, right?"
Brian stepped up close, yelling in Kendall's face, so his bad breath hit him. Kendall felt the anger stir deep inside and his heart rate climbed even further.
"Or maybe you just forgot that you already spent it on your fucking booze!"
Kendall knew right away that he'd crossed the line. It was as if time itself had frozen. As if Kendall for a second left his body and saw the kitchen, his dad and himself from above. He knew what would happen next and opened his eyes, a shiver running down his spine. Then Brian raised his arm and let a large hand strike Kendall across the face. The boy squinted and heard his father's hand collide with his cheek with a loud smack.
Fully opening his eyes again, Kendall looked defiantly at his father for a few seconds, before ducking under his arm and running to the door.
Brian was yelling for him, but Kendall quickly grabbed his bike and put on his headphones. As he left the driveway, heading for school, In Flames shut out the noise of traffic, wrapping him in a small cocoon of music.
x-x
Kendall drove as fast as he could, trying to be as little late as possible. The first period was science with Mrs. Janson, and being late two Mondays in a row would no doubt get him hell! This day couldn't start any worse!
Halfway to the school the massive grey-blue clouds started sending light rain and thunder down on Kendall, and he looked up at the falling drops. The weather fit his mood perfectly!
His heart was beating fast and Kendall could feel the warmth in the cheek where Brian had hit him. He was such an asshole! In Flames were still playing in Kendall's headphones, shutting out all other noises.
We are ordinary people,
in a world build on stress.
When we build walls around us,
we end up in a mess
They scream, You scream, I scream
We scream
Abuse to feel superior,
Is it working for you?...
The song was interrupted by a text, and Kendall pulled out his phone, checking the message. It was from Carlos.
Where R U? Mrs. Janson's pissed!
Kendall sighed and quickly replied.
On my way!
x-x
Kendall threw his bike next to the door and hurried inside. He shook his head and dried the raindrops off his face, while walking down the hallway. When he reached the right classroom, he took a second to catch his breath before entering.
Mrs. Janson threw him a bitter look and pinched her lips, while Kendall went to the empty seat next to Carlos. The entire class eyed his cheek, and Kendall became consciously aware of the red hand print, clearly still marking the left side of his face. When he sat down, his phone fell out of his pocket and the headphones were yanked out. In Flames' somewhat aggressive music filled the room and Mrs. Janson flinched. She threw the boy an angry glare.
"You will shut off this satanic noise, RIGHT NOW!" she yelled, while Kendall grasped for his phone on the floor.
He finally got his hands on it and pressed the stop button.
"It's not satanic noise, it's metal…" he answered dryly and got back in the seat.
Dak and Wayne smirked at Kendall and mumbled something too low for him to hear. Kendall felt his face blush and he narrowed his eyes. Those idiots were asking for a beating sometime soon!
"Why are you late again, Kendall? It's the second Monday in a row" Mrs. Janson sneered.
"I overslept…" he answered, looking down the table. Someone had written "Science blows" across it. He couldn't agree more. Unless they had written "Mrs. Janson blows"!
"I see" Mrs. Janson hissed, "well you'll have to learn to use an alarm clock then!"
She passed Kendall a detention slip and pursed her lips.
"Next time it's the principal's office!"
Kendall rolled his eyes as Mrs. Janson went back to her desk. She was such a major bitch, and Kendall had a hard time understanding why she was a high school teacher at all. She seemed to dislike every single student except for Logan and had called the majority of the class stupid at some point.
"F U!" Kendall muttered under his breath at Mrs. Janson, feeling certain hos voice was too low for her to hear what he had said.
The middle-aged woman slowly turned around and went back to Kendall. She leaned forward and pointed a finger right in front of Kendall's face.
"What was that?" she slithered, her face heating up with anger.
Kendall leaned back in his chair, moving away from the intrusion of his private space. Next to him Carlos slid down his chair, feeling quite uncomfortable with it all.
"U-um..." Kendall stuttered "a... a few... something!"
Mrs. Janson glared at Kendall for a long while, making him lick his lips nervously. The teacher finally made one last huffing-sound at Kendall and then went to her desk where she continued her teaching.
x-x
When the bell rang, Kendall quickly gathered his things and left the classroom with his friends. Carlos was rambling on and on about the new place serving corndogs downtown, and Kendall couldn't help but smile at the Latino's twinkling eyes and excited gesticulations. Carlos always managed to change bad moods into good ones! He was a ray of light that shone so bright you couldn't help but feel happy around him.
On Carlos' other side James and Logan looked at each other without saying anything. They were both worried about Kendall and the way his father treated him. The red mark on Kendall's face was without a doubt just one out of many on their friend's body, and the fact that Kendall had made them swear never to tell a living soul just felt so wrong. They wouldn't betray their friend, but they both knew it would be for the best if they did! Clearly Carlos worried too, but his antsy and happy-go-lucky nature kept him from being lost in thought for too long at a time. He focused on making Kendall smile here and now, and be there to comfort him when he needed that.
Kendall threw a glance at James and Logan and subconsciously tugged at his sleeves. Maybe his best friends knew about the things his dad did to him, but no one knew about the things he did himself. And he wanted to keep it that way!
Suddenly Kendall received a hard push on his shoulder as Dak and Wayne passed him in the hallway.
"Why are you late again Kendall!" Wayne mocked in a shrill imitation of Mrs. Janson.
"Next time it's the principal's office" Dak added in a not as convincing imitation.
The angry pit in Kendall's stomach started boiling and he curled up his fists.
"Shut the fuck up!" he hissed.
Wayne spun around and leaned over Kendall, his eyes glistening. The situation from the kitchen flashed before Kendall's eyes and he swallowed his spit, blinking a few times.
"Don't tell me to fucking shut up, Knight!" Wayne growled and poked Kendall in the chest.
Kendall grabbed Wayne's hand and twisted his index finger backwards while taking a step forward. Wayne let out a howl of pain and went to his knees to ease the pressure on his finger.
"KENDALL!" an angry voice boomed from down the hall, and Kendall immediately let go of Wayne's finger.
He inhaled deeply and waited for the inevitable.
A second later Mrs. Janson's claw-like hand pinched his neck and she pushed him lightly forward.
"Let go!" Kendall said through gritted teeth, but Mrs. Janson just changed her grip and pulled Kendall with her by the arm. He sent his friends a helpless look before the science teacher pulled him around the corner.
"How dare you attack Wayne like that?" Mrs. Janson roared, as she dragged the fuming boy with her across the schoolyard.
"Well for one, he started it!" Kendall said – easily hearing how childish his words sounded.
"Oh, he started it" Mrs. Janson replied sarcastically, giving Kendall an unpleasant yank, "well let's see what Principal Bennett thinks about that!"
x-x
Kendall studied his shoes while Principal Bennett yelled at him. Mrs. Janson was leaning at the door, arms crossed and guarding him like a prison guard.
Kendall didn't really listen to what Bennett was screaming, but one sentence suddenly hit him full force:
"Are we going to have to call your father again, huh?"
Kendall felt the blood freeze in his veins and he shook his head.
"No!" he mumbled, desperately hoping that Bennett wouldn't call Brian.
His thoughts wandered to last spring...
…Carlos was looking over his shoulder, but apparently no one was there. Kendall shut the faucet and carefully sat the garbage can on the floor. James emptied the bag of confetti into the water and threw his friends a smile. This would be epic! James opened the window and together Carlos and Kendall managed to get the heavy bucket to the window. They all peeked out. Both blonde and curly Jennifer were still sitting at the bench, so the boys silently pushed the window all the way up, and Kendall lifted the water-filled garbage can to the window sill.
Just as the three snickering boys tipped the bucket and the water started to pour out, an angry outburst made them all flinch.
"What on earth is going on here!"
Fright made Kendall let go of everything and the bucket fell out the window. The boys turned towards the irate teacher and cringed as they heard a splash followed by a shriek as the garbage can made contact with someone's head.
"You three follow me, NOW!" the teacher sneered, pointing at the boys, and they followed him down the stairs.
Blonde Jennifer was sobbing in the schoolyard. Her white clothes was soaked, so everybody could see her bra, makeup ran down her cheeks and she covered a bleeding cut on her head with her hand. The teacher grabbed Jennifer around the shoulders and pushed her gently forward to guide her way. He threw the boys an angry look, and Kendall felt his heart sink. If Logan hadn't been sick they probably would never had ended up in this mess!
Principal Bennett had yelled a lot, pounded his fists at his table and then called both Carlos', James' and Kendall's parents.
Carlos' dad had crossed his arms, throwing his son a disappointed glare before they left, and Kendall heard Carlos explaining what had happened as he exited the office with his head bowed down in shame. They never meant to hurt anyone!
Mrs. Diamond had tapped her foot and stared James down. His cheeks flushed and he had to clear his throat several times before being able to explain the situation. James' mom had grabbed her son by an arm and dragged him with her while yelling all the while. She hadn't concealed her thoughts on Kendall being a bad influence!
Kendall was the last to leave the office, and his dad's behavior in the room had scared him to death. Brian had been civil, apologized on his son's behalf and had promised Bennett that something like this would NEVER happen again.
When they entered the car all hell had broken loose. Brian had smacked Kendall in the back of the head and screamed at him all the way home, nearly torpedoing an old lady with a walker, who had to jump to the side to keep her feet.
Kendall had had to sleep on his stomach for the next week...
"Pay attention when I'm talking to you!" Bennett screamed, and pulled Kendall out of his thoughts. The principal threw him a nasty look before asking him to leave the office. Mrs. Janson didn't look too satisfied. No doubt she'd hoped for Brian to come, but for once Kendall had been lucky.
x-x
When school and detention were finally over, Kendall gathered his stuff and flew out the door. At 3.20 pm, he got off his bike and ran to the bus, where the driver had just started emptying the luggage to the sidewalk. The kids were spilling out the bus and ran to their waiting parents with happy faces.
Kendall spotted her before she saw him. She was with her best friend Rosie, and they were both laughing so hard they almost cried. Kendall smiled to himself. Sometimes he wondered how Katie could be such a happy girl. She was truly special and there was no one in the world he loved as much as her!
"Kendall!" she screamed happily and ran to her brother.
"Hi" he said, hugging her, "did you have a nice trip?"
Katie nodded and started telling. They had had a contest that she had obviously won, they had eaten tortillas for dinner and ice cream for dessert, their English teacher Mr. Myers had scared them in the night with a mask and the boys had TP'ed a nearby house and gotten in trouble. And Katie had won 20 bucks from playing texas hold'em with a group of the other kids in the night!
Kendall tied Katie's sleeping bag to his backpack and she put on her rucksack.
"Ready?" Kendall asked, and Katie nodded before jumping on to the back of Kendall's bike.
They headed home, and Katie clutched her brother's shoulders and screamed with laughter as they drove down the hill.
Their dad was standing in the driveway when they reached home. He hadn't shaved, and a cigarette protruded from the corner of his mouth. When he saw Katie on the back of the bike his face turned red.
"Katie get off that bike! How many times do I have to say it?"
Katie jumped off and went to the house, with her head bowed down.
"Sorry daddy" she said, passing him, but he just gave her a gentle push.
Kendall locked the bike and eyed his dad. He flicked away his cigarette and blew out the smoke.
"Are you stupid or something? Why the hell don't you understand that I don't want Katie on the back of that bike!"
Kendall didn't answer, and Brian smacked him hard in the back of the head.
Kendall flinched and thought of how Gibbs always used to headslap DiNozzo in NCIS. It certainly looked way more humorous on TV than when his dad hit him!
x-x
Katie was making small holes in her rice with her fork and pushed different vegetables in the different holes. Corn in one, peas in another and red peppers in a third. Kendall smiled at his sister. She was in a completely different world, probably thinking of her next online poker game. At least until Brian slammed his hand down the table and told her to stop playing with her food.
Katie flinched in surprise and accidentally knocked over her glass of milk. She looked at her dad with insecure eyes.
"I honestly don't think the food gives a shit!" Kendall said, as he got up to get some paper towels for the milk.
Brian scowled at him and Katie's eyes darted from one to the other.
"Is the kid yours or mine!"
Kendall huffed.
"Yeah, well I wonder that myself sometimes!" he mumbled to himself. A little too loudly.
That sentence had only been for him to hear, but his dad had obviously heard as well. He slowly put down his knife and fork and narrowed his eyes at his son.
"What did you say, boy?!"
"Nothing... sir" Kendall answered quickly and swallowed his spit.
"Katie go to your room" Brian demanded and pointed at his daughter.
The worst thing you could do was to question Brian's skills as a parent or refer to his alcohol problem! And now Kendall had done both in the same day. The teen sucked in his bottom lip. Wonderful, he thought and bit hard on the lip.
"No, dad..." Katie pleaded.
Her father slammed his fist down the table again, making the small girl jump.
"NOW KATIE!" he yelled.
Katie teared up and pushed her chair back. Kendall gently touched her shoulder as she past him.
"Lock your door!" he whispered, and she nodded, looking into the piercingly green eyes of her brother.
Brian almost never hurt Katie. Aside from Kendall she was his only link to Jennifer, and Katie looked so much like her it almost physically hurt him sometimes!
When he heard his daughter shut her door, Brian got up and in two long steps reached Kendall, who grit his teeth but didn't cower back when the taller man towered over him.
"Don't you EVER try to tell med how to raise my own kid! GOT IT?"
Kendall just looked at the man in front of him, wishing him to hell. Brian raised his arm and backhanded Kendall across the face.
"GOT IT, I ASKED!" he yelled and raised his hand again.
"Yes, God dammit, fucking relax!"
Kendall quickly stepped back out of his dad's reach.
Brian was fuming with anger and grabbed Katie's plate. Without a word he threw it right past Kendall. It hit the wall an shattered on the floor, and Kendall flinched.
Brian pushed his son hard up against the wall, his hand around his neck. Kendall wheezed, feeling the strong anger radiating from his dad, and for the first time ever he feared that Brian would severely harm him. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Brian let his hand fall, and Kendall stormed out of the house after grabbing his jacket.
x-x
Kendall turned on his music and went to James'. He lived with his mom in a castle of a house, and though his parents were divorced, Kendall couldn't help but wish he had been born into such a family instead of his own. But then he thought about Katie and immediately regretted his thoughts. She was his light! His princess! And he couldn't picture his life without her in it!
Kendall knocked on the door and waited. He heard steps approaching and Brooke Diamond opened the door. She pinched her lips and glared at Kendall with a stern look in her eyes. Kendall remembered her words of him being a bad influence, but he pushed them aside an looked her straight in the eyes.
"Is James home?" he asked, scratching his neck.
"Yes, he's upstairs in his room" Mrs. Diamond answered curtly and let Kendall enter.
He ascended the stairs and knocked on James' door.
"What?" he yelled from within, sounding annoyed.
He smiled when he saw Kendall standing in the doorway, but his grin disappeared when he spotted the bruise on Kendall's cheekbone.
"Can I crash here?" the blonde asked, while he plopped down own James' bed.
"Sure, bro... what'd he do this time?"
Kendall licked his lips and sighed before he told James everything. When he finished he felt like a great burden had been lifted off of his shoulders, but as always also felt embarrassed. James didn't really know where to look. He never knew quite how to react to Kendall's disturbing tales of his homelife, but finally raised his gaze to look at his friend.
"Kendall... you need to go to the police!"
Kendall shook his head no.
James bit his lip a little, before he tried again.
"At least let Carlos tell his dad! Brian's a freaking psycho, you and Katie shouldn't be living with him!"
Kendall let himself fall backwards on the bed. He had explained it a million times.
"You know why I can't talk to the police... If we have to enter the system, Katie and I will probably get separated, and... and I don't think I would survive without her..."
James nodded and decided not to push Kendall any further. He turned on his stereo, A Perfect Circle enveloping the room. James got up and locked the door before he pulled out the wooden box from underneath his bed.
"Wanna smoke?" he asked.
When Kendall nodded, James was already mixing the tobacco from a cigarette with the weed, and Kendall rested his head on the bed while James finished making the joint.