A/N: Ok, this is my first shot at writing a fanfic off of a book. I know that I can never hope to be as good as her, but I hope to pay homage to Stephenie Meyer in a way. Ever since I read Twilight, I've been obsessed with the series. New Moon brought more of Jacob Black into the picture, and I fell for him. He's just such a wonderful character and damn it, if he were real I'd choose him in a heart beat. Not that I hate Edward or anything - I just tend to root for the underdog (pun not intended lol). When I read Eclipse, I cried through the last 100 pages. I swear I've read them over and over at least 8 times already. So this is my spin on what SHOULD have happened. At least, if Jacob could have had his way...

A/N 2: And Bella will be totally OOC. Well, her emotions will be anyway. Sorry, but she has to be to suit my purposes.

WARNING! SPOILER ALERT! If you have not read Eclipse yet, this will be a MAJOR spoiler. This is my personal twist to the end of the book... kind of... I wouldn't suggest continuing on unless you enjoy ruining things for yourself. However I would suggest that you run to your nearest book store or local library and pick up a copy of this freaking book. Awesome doesn't even begin to describe it people.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Disclaimer! I do not own Bella, Jacob, Edward or anyone from the Twilight series. That honor belongs to Stephenie Meyer and I bow down in her glory. If I did own them, I myself would find a way to make Jacob happy again... tear

Wolf Sigh

"You know I love you."

"I know. You know how much I wish it was enough."

"Yes."

"I'll always be waiting in the wings, Bella. You'll always have that spare option if you want it."

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There wasn't a day where I wasn't grateful for the fact that Edward couldn't read my mind.

He was gone for the weekend - Emmett had suggested a camping trip and I all but had pushed him out the door, telling him I would be fine. As I lay on my bed in a pair of sweats and an old shirt, I was startled by the calm that surrounded me. For the first time since I realized I loved him, I wasn't aching inside. The absence of his presence wasn't killing me as much as I thought it might. The ache in my being had nothing at all to do with him. Because I knew he was coming back. I no longer held that fear of his disappearance. He wouldn't leave me. We would be together.

It was the first time he had left me since we had finalized things. The ring was on my finger, the date was set. I was to be married in less than a month. I would be changed soon after that.

I dreaded it.

When Edward lay beside me at night, I suffered in silence. All the things I thought I had wanted were now put into a strange new perspective. I thought deeply about my life - and I meant the actual one, not the rest of eternity that I would spend with Edward. Did I want it to end so soon? I was anxious about it, but if he noticed he never said a word, which was surprising for Edward. Sometimes he knew me better than I knew myself. I knew he thought something was up with me. When I talked in my sleep, he said all I ever spoke of was freedom. He said I even cried a few times and when I woke he would comfort me with his arms of marble. He would chuckle softly and tell me that I had to be patient, that what I wanted would come soon enough. He thought I meant freedom from mortal existence, freedom from Forks, freedom from all around me.

He was wrong.

I didn't have nightmares. At least, I didn't call them that anymore. They were the dreams that I deserved, the pain that I should have had. The pain that shouldn't have been shared with anyone. His pain was too much - I often thought it mingled with mine and they both combined to attack me during my sleeping hours. But he would never do that to me and I knew it.

Jacob.

It had been almost two weeks since we had finalized things. He knew we would never be as he wanted us to be. I had fled his house quietly, breaking into sobs so terrible that Edward had had to drive me home. His kiss in the clearing had brought so much to light. I loved him, and now I was aware of it. It had not made my choice any easier. I knew however the pain of losing Edward and I didn't think I could live through it again.

But I had never really lived through the pain of losing Jacob.

It was different than the pain I had experienced before. That was so profound it was physical. Even the mere thought of anyone or anything that involved Edward left me hyperventilating; clutching my torso like someone was ripping a hole into me. This pain was more mental. I had dreams that kept me crying on the inside, wishing I could be someone else.

Always Jacob was a wolf. Always Jacob was trapped - either by an aspect of nature or, more often than not, being held by a strong, icy captor - and I would cry and beg for his freedom. I couldn't stand to see him trapped like a helpless dog - oh how often I used to think of him as that and how wrong I now knew that was. But he always looked at me from a distance with his captor between us, his eyes showing me everything. All the pain, the suffering, the NEED. All the things I saw in his eyes that last day. All the things I wish I could give him, but couldn't.

I missed him.

And the sad thing was I couldn't even stay friends. I knew it would be too painful. After Edward had driven me home that day, I had spent the rest of the night sobbing my sorrows. The next morning he had been so selfless.

"Bella... are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain -"

"Yes."

"I don't know... If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?"

"Edward, I know who I can't live without."

And I did. I knew that without Edward, my life was worthless to me.

But what about living without Jacob?

That day in the clearing I had realized that there was no way I could simply cut him out of my life. But how could I keep him in it? If I so much as thought about seeing him, Alice would see my future disappear and Edward would be back in a heartbeat. And although I don't think he would be very angry with me, I knew that after all this, he would be devastated. I just couldn't bear to bring that pain into his eyes. But I had to do this. I had to see Jacob.

I had to appeal to Alice.

I got up from the position I had been laying in for hours and went downstairs. After pouring myself some cereal, I let the milk soak as I thought nervously about how I was going to ask Alice to do this for me. To ignore my future for a few hours and just trust me when I said that I was safe. Suddenly - though I shouldn't have been surprised - my phone rang. Jolted out of my concentration, I leaped up and rushed to the phone, tripping over my feet as I went.

"Hello?"

"If you get hurt as you try to get to the phone, how can I hope you'll be safe around a bunch of young werewolves?"

"Alice, please..."

"Bella I know what you want and I understand. But you know that he would-"

"Alice I'll owe you big time. I'll do anything you want. I'll be your Barbie doll for the next hundred years. I'll let you do whatever you want for my wedding - you name it!"

I heard her sigh and I took it as a good sign.

"Please be back before ten Bella. I'm giving you all day, so you're going to have a curfew. If you don't cross that border by ten I swear-"

"Alice I swear to you I'll be back. Oh I love you so much Alice, you have no idea how much."

"Well let's hope you love Edward more."

The phone clicked dead in my hand and I stared at it, more than a little hurt by the implications in her voice. Of course I loved Edward more... I just needed Jacob...

And... He needed me...

--------------------

"Bella?"

The roar of my truck was identifiable to anyone that knew me. Billy rolled out to his front porch, eyes wide with surprise. He obviously wasn't expecting me to be there anymore than I was.

"Is Jacob around?"

"No, he's not. But he should be back soon. I was actually just about to go to Sue Clearwater's. You can make yourself comfortable inside and wait for him if you'd like."

"Thanks Billy, I appreciate that."

"Not a problem. There's soda in the fridge if you want it."

"Ok..."

I walked past him into the open door that he held for me. I felt a hand on my arm and turned to look down into his deep, dark eyes.

"Do you think you'll be back for good this time?"

I looked away, trying not to get drawn into him.

"I'm... not sure..."

I heard a deep throated chuckle and I turned to him in surprise.

"Well it's obvious you need him too."

I didn't have any response to that and he didn't let me think of one, wheeling away quickly. I walked back inside, content to wander about the household peacefully. The sound of nature was everywhere in this house; the scent of the woods in the air. Without Jacob however, it all seemed a little empty. I walked down the familiar hall that led to his room and sighed. How long had it been since I had walked these steps without having to do something I didn't want to? Knowing I would always be welcome in his room, I walked in without a second thought.

At first I stood in the doorway, gazing in wonder at the mess before me. How did he manage to step in here without breaking something? Out of a very bad obsessive habit, I started to clean up, hoping to keep my mind off of other things. Everything smelled like Jacob. It was as if he had saturated this entire room with his scent. It wasn't like Edward's at all - it was woodsier. It didn't make my blood run hot so much as it made me calmer, more relaxed. It made me think of home...

After straightening up enough so that I could actually get to his bed, I plopped down on it. Lying back, I spread my arms out. This one was bigger than my own bed. And yet it amused me to no amount that the times I had seen Jacob sleeping here, the bed was dwarfed by his size. He always hung off it on all sides and it seemed like a slight movement would cause him to tumble to the floor. I loved it when he slept. His face looked so much younger, so much more innocent. He didn't look as though he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was my Jacob then. And I missed that.

I rolled over and snuggled into the coverlet, inhaling the rich scent. It was so soothing it was hard to resist. Before I knew it I had drifted off. I knew I was dreaming because I was screaming again. I saw my wolf, this time being crushed underneath a large tree. Looking at it, I realized it was "our" tree - the bone white bleached tree that sat on the shores of La Push. It had seen some of our most intense moments it was almost instinctual to think of it as our own. I ran towards him and dropped onto my knees, digging with tired hands into the ground, trying my best to free him. Jacob whimpered and the sound broke my heart, making me blinded by tears. I looked up to see him slowly fading and I stopped digging and grabbed his head, petting him and sobbing his name.

"No no no! I can't lose you Jacob! Not again! I love you, I need you! Don't leave me!"

Suddenly I blinked and his face was human, and he was smiling up at me. Gently he lifted his head and whispered into my ear.

"Bella..."

The sound of my name brought me back into reality and I felt gentle hands pulling through my hair. I looked around and realized I was in Jacob's warm lap, still on his bed. I turned my head to look up at him and smiled. He was in his usual attire of a pair of cut off jeans and nothing else. Jacob grinned down at me, his eyes shining with pure joy.

"Hi."

"Hi Bells... You have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"I'm sure I do - the feeling's mutual."

He helped me to sit up and I shifted out of his lap and into a comfortable position on his bed, my back against the headboard, my legs stretched out across the length of his mattress. He shifted so that he was sitting next to me on the other side, his head laying against my shoulder as he looked up at me.

"You're still... you."

"Yeah..."

I glanced at him and the look in my eyes told him that I wanted to avoid that subject as much as he did. Sighing, he continued his petting of my hair and I leaned into it, laying my head against his chest, content to sit like that for awhile. I enjoyed the quiet moment while I could.

"You know, you talk when you sleep..."

"Yeah, and I hate it. What did I say this time?"

Jacob shook his head and shifted away, laying down and turning towards the wall. He took a deep breath and sighed - a sound so familiar to me that it made the muscles in my heart constrict. It didn't usually mean anything good. I shifted down the bed and curled into him from behind, burying my head in the small of his back. I inhaled the scent there and tried my best not to cry.

"Bella... I thought you made your choice."

I said nothing. I had nothing to say. He was right, I had chosen my fate. What right did I have to selfishly come back into his life? This was hurting him more than it was hurting me. I really was a horrible person. I wrapped my arms around his waist and began to cry softly into his shirt. I just didn't want to go away from him. I didn't think I could stand it now. Part of me was hoping he would put me in my place and tell me off. Hoping he would say he never wanted to see me again and that he wanted me out of his room and out of his life. But I just didn't think I could take it if he hated me. I needed to get away from Jacob; needed to stop hurting him even more. Slowly I pulled my arms away and sat up, wiping my eyes.

"You're right... I'm... I'm sorry Jacob..."

I made a move to get up and before I knew it I was on my back, Jacob hovering above me, his face inches from my own. My heart began to pound and I could hear it in my head. I didn't like the situation I seemed to be in, but I couldn't find it in myself to want to push him away. His eyes bored into mine and they held a mixture of pain and something I wasn't sure about. He spoke softly, and I closed my eyes to his intense gaze.

"You said you loved me. You said you needed me. You said you didn't want to lose me. I thought you made your choice Bella. What are you trying to do, kill me?"

I opened my eyes and stared into his, tears flowing freely down my cheeks.

"I know what I decided. It's just that..."

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and tried to stop crying.

"What? It's what Bella?"

I looked up at him and blurted out the truth.

"I want you both."

Jacob's face stretched out into a huge grin and he took a deep breath and blew it gently onto my cheeks, trying to dry them.

"You have me Bella... right here, right now."

Looking up at Jacob, I had no doubt of what he was talking about. And I was afraid. Afraid of myself. I wanted it too. I wanted him. More than anything else at this moment, I needed to have Jacob. I reached up and put my hand on his cheek lovingly, smiling up at him. His eyes changed and he took it as if I was giving him permission. Slowly, almost as if time had stopped, he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me.

This was nothing like the kiss in the clearing or the kiss on the beach. He was gentle but forceful, willing me to open up to him. My body took on a mind of its own and I couldn't seem to stop myself. I reached up and dug my hands into his hair, pulling free the rubber band that held it in place. As the dark locks fell around his face, I grabbed onto a few and pulled his face even closer to mine. Whatever restraint Jacob had been holding onto snapped and he groaned, kissing me harder and letting his hot hands roam across my flesh. He ran his hands up and down my sides, bringing them back to my waist and pulling me closer to him. I felt his heat, his pulsing need. It made a part of me quiver and without really understanding why, I shifted closer to that warmth, arching up and grinding against him. He pulled his head away from me with a wild gasp and stared at me incredulously. I whimpered at the loss and he smirked down at me, the heat pouring off his body enough to cook an egg with.

"I'm not so sure we should go so far..."

I merely nodded at him, listening without really understanding what he was saying. I was too far gone; the hormones in my body ready to burst out every orifice. All I felt was lust; an indescribable need for something. I needed release but I just didn't know how. Jacob was still smirking, just as needing as I was. His face took on a serious look for a second and then it was gone, replaced by a mischievous grin. He lowered his head and kissed the side of my neck, making me fidget a little. It was a wonderful sensation; the feeling of warm lips caressing my skin. I was so used to the cold. I felt like I was stepping out into the sun for the first time. His lips traveled to the neck line of my shirt and he brought his hands down slowly, fingers tracing around the hem. I understood the meaning and sat up quickly, ridding myself of my shirt. Despite my embarrassment I was eager; looking up into his eyes even though I knew the blush on my face was probably raging. He licked his lips, eyes moving across my chest. For a long time he made no movement, simply staring at me. I was beginning to become self conscious. I knew that I didn't exactly have much in the T and A department, but it never really bothered me too much. Now I felt as though he could see all of my flaws laid bare before him. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my gaze away from him, fighting tears. He grabbed my hands and pulled them gently to the side, shaking his head at me.

"I'm just a little stunned. You're so... beautiful Bells..."

I blushed even harder and turned my head into the bed, mumbling.

"Don't lie about that Jacob, its not-"

He cut me off with a kiss, clearly not agreeing with my self assessment. His hands wandered up to my breasts and I arched into his warm palms, groaning into his kiss. His lips smiled on mine and he kissed me harder, rubbing my chest roughly. It brought on such wonderful sensations that I wasn't sure what to do. My hands reached behind me to unhook my bra, knowing it would feel so much better with it out of the way. When I was unhooked, he broke our kiss and drew the bra away from me, flinging it across the floor. Before I had time to be embarrassed, Jacob brought his head down, lips to my nipple. I know I squeaked in surprise and the sound made him chuckle into my flesh. He concentrated on the right, nipping and suckling gently. I felt like I was out of control, my hands flailing wildly across the bed, looking for an anchor to sanity. It felt too good; I was sure I was embarrassing myself with the sound of my own breathing but I didn't care at that moment. I was so unused to feeling anything even remotely sexual - I'd never even touched myself, knowing that Edward was always watching me. I had all this built up frustration and only now did it seem to find an outlet.

When Jacob was sure he had made both my breasts ache from his mouth's caresses, he moved downward slowly, kissing along my stomach as he went. My stomach started to churn with nervousness and I put my hand on his head, brining his face back to look at me. That was a bad idea. I now recognized the look in his eyes as lust and they burned into me, making me squirm. I bit my lip and tried to bring the right words to my mouth.

"I don't know if you should..."

He groaned - this time sounding more pained than anything. He looked up at me and his face seemed to beg.

"I can't stop now Bella. You have to understand that. I won't ask you to do anything for me, but please!"

He groaned again, the sound making my blood boil and ran his hands up my thighs. I gasped at the feeling he brought on, the pulsing below increasing in me and making me that much more desperate. At almost the same moment as my twitching increased, he seemed to grow hotter and he licked the skin where his face lay by my navel.

"I can't take it... The smell, your scent is so... GOD Bella just let me do this for you..."

I was unsure as to what exactly he meant but I nodded anyway. I was never able to really deny Jacob anything anyway. He smiled gratefully and his face took on a serious look. His hands moved swiftly to my pants and he had them unbuttoned and off me before I had a chance to even blink. When he saw my panties he gave them almost no thought and ripped them off me. I wasn't happy with that; they were one of my favorite pairs!

"Jacob! What the hell?!? No need to be such an-"

I shut my mouth promptly when I realized what he intended to do with me. His mouth was on me before I could even protest it. And then I didn't want to protest a thing. I had to struggle to maintain my breathing. His mouth seemed even hotter now, lips caressing my most sensitive place. He looked up at me and gave me one good, long lick. The feeling made me jump and he moaned, lowering his head to do the same thing again. Almost automatically my hands were in his hair, pushing him deeper, anchoring his face to me. Not that I thought he'd leave if even given the option. His tongue searched around until it found a spot that made me jump. Once Jacob realized that I enjoyed the feeling, he raised his head to look at me, a wicked expression coming across his face. His hand replaced his tongue for the moment and he stroked me with gentile fingers. The feeling was teasing and not enough. I arched up into his hand and he put his other hand on my hip, effectively holding me down. I looked at him in pain, begging him with my eyes.

"What are you doing to me?"

"Enjoying myself Bella."

"Jacob no. Jacob please!"

"Jacob please what?"

He gave me a wicked smile and I glared at him. I knew that he wanted me to say something dirty, and I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction with begging. But the need in me was intense and it didn't seem like I had much of a choice. Swallowing my pride, I turned my head to the side, looking away from him.

"Please finish what you started."

He pulled his hand away completely and laughed when I whimpered in return. Kissing my skin as he went, he moved back up my body until we were face to face. He tried to kiss me but I turned away, not exactly happy that he had left my place of need. He chuckled and used his left hand to bring my face back to his. His right hand slid slowly down my body until I could feel him gently pulling on my pubic hair. The feeling made me gasp and he took that as an opportunity to roughly kiss me. I could taste something new in his mouth and I was dimly aware of the fact that it was me. He pulled away and breathed in my face.

"Now what was that you said?"

I was past the breaking point, tired of fighting with myself. I kissed him again and he was caught off guard for a moment, not expecting my reaction. When I pulled out of the kiss I bit his lower lip hard, making him wince.

"Get back down there and finish me off Jacob."

Apparently liking the tone of my voice, he rushed to do as I told. Once he was down there, I fastened my hands in his hair again, pushing his face downward. His tongue found the spot again and I moaned brokenly when he began to lick at it, harder this time. I squirmed under the feeling, closing my thighs around his head. He broke the strangle hold I had on them and pushed my thighs wide apart, holding them down on the bed. I could feel something building and I didn't know what to do. I ran my hands through his hair again and again, chanting his name softly like a prayer. Suddenly I felt something in me pull and I was there, climaxing and screaming his name out so loud, I was sure that everyone in La Push could hear me.

He kept licking at me until the feeling faded away into little sparks and I had to push his head away because it was starting to tickle a little. He came back up the bed and cuddled me in his arms, sighing in contentment. His sigh was such a wonderful sound to me now. I rolled over and buried my head into his chest, slowly drifting off as he rubbed my back soothingly.

"Just sleep Bella. Sleep for a little bit."

I know I mumbled something to him but I don't remember what it was. He kissed the top of my head and that was the last thing I remember before drifting off.

--------------------

I knew I was dreaming again, but it was different this time. It wasn't at all bad, not like the nightmares that had plagued me for weeks. But something wasn't right. I was in Edward's home, walking up the stairs to his room. I saw Alice and Jasper as I passed and they smiled at me gently. I smiled back, unsure what to think. When I rounded the corner and knocked on the door to his room, I heard his silky voice say I could enter. However I got the shock of my life when I did. Sitting at his feet was Jacob in his wolf form and Edward was petting him, Jacob arching up for more attention. I just stood there, unsure of what to do.

"You got your wish Bells."

I heard Jacob's voice and whipped my head down to see Jacob talking human while still in his wolf form. He got up and trotted over to me, rubbing his head against my hand. I petted him out of instinct and looked to Edward for some kind of explanation. He stood up and walked over to me, lowering his head to kiss my neck. I felt his breath on my neck as he whispered gently into my ear.

"Now you have us both..."

--------------------

"Bella honey, wake up."

I felt gentle hands shaking me into awareness. With bleary vision I glanced up and Jacob, smiling.

"Hey. What time is it?"

"Almost 9:30."

That wiped the smile right off my face and I sat up quickly, scrambling off the bed.

"Oh crap, I need to get out of here now! Where are my clothes? And damn it you owe me a pair of panties Jacob!"

He laughed at that and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Your clothes are right here. But you don't have to rush Bells. I called Charlie while you were out and told him you were here. You can stay for as long as you'd like."

I snatched my clothes off the bed and dressed as quickly as possible, searching for my car keys. It seemed as though they had fallen out of my pants at some point in time.

"That doesn't matter. Alice said I had to be over the border and I-"

"What the hell does that bloodsucker have to do with anything?"

I turned back to see him glaring at me, rage making the heat roll off his body in waves. If I didn't know him better I'd be afraid of him shifting right there.

"She... let me come here Jacob..."

"LET YOU?!?"

I sighed deeply and reached over to grab his hand, trying to soothe him.

"You know how she can see futures - but not those of the pack - right? When I'm with you, my future disappears and she doesn't know where I am. She freaks out, tells Edward and then I have problems. She said she'd let me come here and keep it quiet as long as I was over the border by 10."

He calmed down quickly, the air filling with his disappointment. I looked down to see him bowing his head into his chest.

"So you came here for what then Bella? Hmmm? What did you expect to get out of this?"

I stared at his hand in mine - visibly shaking with anger. I tried to pull my hand away but his tightened over mine and I winced. He glared up at me through his bangs and the look in his eyes was enough to bring tears to mine.

"So then what was all this? A booty call? Was I just an ends to a means then?"

I wasn't sure what to say because I wasn't too sure of the answer myself. Jacob didn't appreciate my silence and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me hard enough to make my neck hurt.

"Well?!? Why did you come here and do this? Why did you let me touch you Bella?"

"I... I came because I need you Jacob..."

"You need me you say! Then why are you going to marry him Bella? Why won't you become my wife?"

"I... I can't..."

He released my hand and walked away, climbing onto his bed and turning his back towards me.

"It doesn't work like this Bella... I can't work like this..."

Tears flowing freely down my cheeks, I finished dressing myself and left quietly, neither of us saying another word. I was in my car and before I knew it my speedometer was pushing 55 as I raced home. Charlie's snoring was the first thing I heard as I walked through the door. Then my phone rang and I ran to get it before it could wake him. The clock over the stove read 10:10.

"Hello?"

"Did you do what you needed to do?"

Alice's sweet tinkle of a voice hurt my heart and I sighed deeply.

"Not really... But thank you for giving me the opportunity Alice."

"You're welcome."

As I heard the familiar click of the phone, my tears began anew. Marching upstairs slowly, I settled myself down and curled up on my bed, beginning to ponder things while sobbing gently.

Outside, the wind blew and the sound broke my heart once more.

It reminded me of a wolf's sigh.

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Ah, and there is the end. I was thinking about maybe making it into a multi chapter thing, but I'm not too sure. I'd like some opinions please! Reviews would be lovely too! Thanks for reading all!