Title: Where the Sun's Always Gold

Summary: It had come out of nowhere, the car. But it all seemed so fitting for me. Everything was golden, but the question was, would I stay here? Possible character death.

Genre: Angst

Pairing(s): None

Warning(s): Possible character death, read and find out. Language.

A/N: I was considering doing another chapter with Two-Bit's point of view, or showing the reactions of Darry and Soda while Ponyboy was off in the place where the sun's always gold, but I'm not sure. Please, tell me what you think. Don't be afriad to review.

Disclaimer: All characters and likenesses belong to Ms. S.E. Hinton.

As I lied on the ground, slowly being soaked with rain and blood, for just the slightest moment I heard laughter. Which made no sense, considering all I could feel was pain. Who laughs when they're in so much pain as I was? But it was there, that undeniable, joyous laughter. It sounded rich and golden and slightly familiar and yet oh-so foreign. I wanted the person to stop laughing; everything hurt too much to be laughing. My ears were ringing, my head felt like it was being slowly torn apart from inside, my legs were on fire, and my left side felt like a hot iron was being slowly pressed against it. With all that misery doesn't come laughter.

At first, I couldn't recall for the life of me why I was in so much pain. The only thing in my world was pain and laughter. Nothing else registered. Slowly though, almost subliminally, I recognized small somethings hitting me all over my body. Cold, wet droplets. They made me wet and stung in some places. Rain. It was raining.

Slowly, I cracked open an eyelid. Even that slightest bit of movement cause more pain in my head, and I almost regretted it. I was first met with the sight of pavement with small ran drops colliding on it and bouncing around madly. I had never really noticed before, but it's pretty cool when rain hits something like that. It tries to bounce away, but most of it goes off in separate angles, making a wild, crazy frenzy where the rain hits the ground. I had never noticed before then, but before then I had never had a front row seat.

Something was wrong though. Pavement was black, right? And rain was clear? So then, what was all that red seeping into my vision? Whatever it was, it was soaking the street and getting everywhere. I was sure someone would have to clean that up, and they wouldn't be happy. The red didn't look nearly as cool as the rain, but in a sense it made everything tuff. Real tuff.

"PONYBOY!" was shouted so loud that it made the pain in my head double. Something was trying to click in my head; I was trying to recognize something, but my head was too foggy.

"PONY, PLEASE DEAR GOD NO!" My heart broke for this voice calling out. It sounded so miserable and agonized; it made me want to yell back that it'd be alright; that everything would be okay. However, I was in too much pain to do anything of the sort.

"No, Ponyboy, no! No, no, no, please! Please NO!" The voice was crying, sobbing in such a heartbreaking way it made me want to sob. 'Don't be so sad, voice,' I though hazily, still too lost in my realm of only pain and agony to think clearly. 'I'm sure it'll be fine. It's not tuff to cry. Boys around these parts don't cry.' At the time, I didn't even know what I was thinking, but I though it non-the-less.

Then, like a cloud moving away from the sunshine, I began to register my surroundings. I took note that it was nighttime, though a light was shining from somewhere behind me, casting a long, slumped over shadow. I also noted that I was lying on my side with both arms curled in front of me. The red from earlier, the oddity that made everything look tuff, was blood. My blood. Because I was injured. Badly. The voice, that was someone I knew. Someone I was talking to, like, minutes ago. Someone…

"No, lemme go! Lemme go! I gotta see if he's okay! Lemme go will ya!?" It was hysterical now, the voice. It just wanted to see if this Ponyboy character was okay or not. I didn't know who was holding the voice back, but they oughtta let go of the voice. It just needed to see if Ponyboy was okay. They oughtta let him go. He just wanted to see if Ponyboy was okay. Let him go. Ponyboy…

Then, I remembered things. Previously, I had only recognized my surroundings. Then, I remembered. I was Ponyboy. Ponyboy Michael Curtis. Raised by my mom and dad who had died in a car crash a few years before, leaving me to my older brother Darrel a.k.a. Darry and my other brother Sodapop. I was a greaser, in a gang with Steve Randall, my two bothers, and Keith "Two-Bit" Mathews. Johnny Cade and Dallas Winston had been members, but had died a few months previous.

That's when I remembered why I was in so much pain. Two-Bit had come to pick me up after the movies. It was raining, and there had been too many Soc jumpings lately, and I didn't want to walk. So Darry sent Two-Bit out to get me. We had been laughing so hard, I was crying. Two-Bit was just so funny, anyone would laugh. We pulled up to the stop sign and he did his funny impression of Darry, and we were laughing so hard we didn't move for about a minute. Then, we pulled away. I looked out my window, wondering why that delivery truck wasn't stopping. Then, the sickening crunch of metal and the shattering of glass. I was thrown foreword, something ripped my side, it was so loud, everything was moving around me and I could do nothing except go wherever it took me. When it was over, everything was sickeningly quiet, I only knew pain, and I was being pelted with rain.

A car crash.

But, I guess that was okay. I didn't feel so much pain after I remembered that. Before it was white hot and intense, but then I felt…removed. As if my body was somewhere else entirely, and I was floating away. All I felt was a dull ache that lessened by the minute. The laughter was back.

Suddenly, a hand on my shoulder brought me back. I was turned so that I was facing the sky, the full moon overhead and rain looking like odd falling dots. The face of Two-Bit Mathews came into my view, normally laughter-filled and carefree eyes stormy. He looked serious, too serious, and I didn't like it.

"Pony! Pony! Can you hear me!?" He called out frantically, and I just had to answer him. I was hoping if I did, maybe he wouldn't look so…so scared.

"Y-yeah." Talking was real tough. It was like trying to scream through thick, hazy waters. I couldn't get my voice to carry at all. Not to mention just doing something, whether it was talking or moving my hand, was like doing twelve laps around an Olympic pool. I tried as hard as I could to focus on Two-Bit's stormy face, yet everything kept blurring away and blackness was creeping up on the edge of my vision.

"Glory Ponyboy, please tell me you're alright! You've gotta be alright!" Agony lacing every word like a sheath on a sword, his voice broke my heart just as it had when I was still in shock. Even though he was soaked to the bone with rain, I could see the tears dripping down his face. Boys around these parts don't cry.

"T-Two-Bit," I tried to say, but it came out more of a sigh. The darkness on the edge of my vision was creeping up fast, real fast, and I didn't know what was going on. The laughter had become much louder. "W-wha 'appened?"

"Pony, listen to me," he commanded, and I did the best I could to concentrate on his voice. "Stay with me, okay? Listen Pone, there was an accident. The delivery truck crashed into us, on your side of the truck. You're really hurt, okay honey? But you'll be fine, as long as you stay with me, ya hear? Stay with me!"

And even though Two-Bit's words sunk in, the darkness had almost consumed me by then. I had to figure something out though, I just had to. "T-Two-Bit? Am…am I gonna…gonna die?"

"Not," Two-Bit tried, but his voice broke into a chocked sob. When he tried again, no emotions were hidden. He spoke in such a broken tone I wanted to cry. "Not if you stay with me, Pone. Just stay with me…"

The laughter I heard earlier increased in volume ten-fold. It seemed then that Two-Bit's voice was in the background now, as if his agony was out of place and the laughter fit in perfectly. Slowly, Two-Bit's face faded away, to be replaced with a much nicer scene.

"Johnny," I whispered to myself, astonished. I found myself back at the church in Windrixville, but it was still standing, not burned to the ground. The sky was painted in gold's and yellows and oranges, giving everything a soft glow. The grass was a soft green, with the wind blowing through and making it sway. Everything was nice and peaceful and so calm, unlike the scene from before with my blood soaking the ground and Two-Bit's agonized voice.

However, what really got me was the source of the laughter from before. Outside the church in the field, Johnny Cade was running around laughing and having the time of his life. Chasing him was an equally happy and energetic Dallas Winston. Off to the side, sitting on the church steps and laughing, were my mother and father, Michelle and Darrel Curtis.

Suddenly, Johnny looked up from where he was playing with Dally and saw me. At that moment, everything around me solidified, as if that was the new normal realm. Johnny's eyes caught mine, and my breath hitched. There was no scared puppy-dog look anymore. There wasn't even a mark or scare anywhere on his face. He just looked so happy, so genuinely happy.

"PONYBOY!" He called to me, in so much of a different tone than Two-Bit had used earlier. Johnny ran down the hill and towards me, only stopping right as he got to me.

"Johnny," I said again, and I could feel the tears in my eyes. He looked the same, but so much different. He didn't look like he was always scared, and somehow I knew it was because he had no reason to be. He stood up taller and straighter and boy, did he look a sight. It just warmed my heat looking at him.

Johnny smiled a big, warm smile and gave me a huge hug. I couldn't help but smile back. The hug was so warm and friendly, just like the sky with its gold and yellow. I had missed him so much, tears were pouring down my face.

"Johnny," I said into his ear.

"Yeah, Pone?"

"I stayed golden."

"Yeah, Ponyboy, yeah you did."

A sob escaped my throat as I held my best friend. Boy had I missed him.

Soon, of course, the others joined us and I had to let go. Next up was good ole Dallas Winston. At first, I was sure this was someone else entirely. He looked like the same old Dally, but this Dally had a huge, bright grin on his face and he just seemed so warm. Not only that, but those ice-blue eyes that had been so full of hate and so cold were now melted into warm pools that were inviting and friendly. Dallas just seemed so warm here compared to his ice-cold personality back were I was lying on the pavement bleeding to death.

"Ponyboy," Dally said in a happy question, "what on earth are you doing here?"

Before I could even answer, I had my arms wrapped around him in a hug. No matter what anyone said, we had all been missing Dally like heck and it was so good to see him again. The best thing was, he actually returned the hug by wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace. I couldn't stop crying.

When I finally let go, I turned and gasped. There they were, Mom and Dad. Dad had his arm thrown over Mom's shoulder in a loving embrace, and they were both smiling real big at me. Dad looked so much like Darry; it was so fitting he was named after him. Mom was where Sodapop had gotten his movie star good looks, that was for sure. My heart swelled and burst at seeing them again, and I didn't think it was possible to cry anymore.

"Ponyboy! Aw, your father and I missed you so much!" Mom said, holding her arms out.

I ran to them like there was no tomorrow. "Mom, Dad! I-I missed you guys so much!" I sobbed, burying my face into Mom's sweater. They just held me, and petted my hair. It was just like old times; nothing had changed. It felt so good and was warm, I just wanted to stay there forever. I probably could have, too, if it wasn't for this nagging feeling pulling me somewhere else.

When I finally let go, Dally ruffled up my hair affectionately and Mom and Dad smiled down at me. Suddenly, everyone was facing me and I wanted to join them so bad, but I just knew I couldn't. Something was holding me back from going into the field and playing tag with Dally and Johnny.

"Say there Ponyboy," Dad asked me, "you never did answer Dally's question. Why are you here?"

The tears cascading down my face served as a distraction, so I wiped them away as I answered. "There-there was a car crash."

"Well Golly Pony, you don't really want to stay here with us, do ya?" Johnny asked me, and just as the laughter had been before I got here I heard crying. Which made no sense considering all I could feel was happiness. Who sobs when they're as gleeful and happy as I was? But it was there, that undeniable, miserable sobbing. It sounded sad and melancholy and slightly familiar and yet oh-so foreign. I wanted the person to stop crying; everything was much too happy to be so sad. Johnny was here, Dally was here, Mom and Dad were here, and everyone was so happy and warm. With all that bliss doesn't come crying.

I wanted to tell Johnny I did want to stay, that I wanted to stay forever and ever and I was so happy to see them again that I never wanted to leave, but I just couldn't. Dally interrupted anyway.

"I know it's good seeing us again and all Pony, but golly, we aren't going anywhere. I mean, we can wait."

"And besides," Dad started in, putting a hand on my shoulder, "what about Darrel and Sodapop? They'll be torn in two if they hear you left them just like your mother and I did." Suddenly, I remembered Sodapop's smiling face and Darry's rare grin. I couldn't just leave them.

"Poor Two-Bit would never forgive himself you leave," Johnny surmised. Just then, along with the crying, I heard a "damn it, no!"

"Now, don't get us wrong Ponyboy," Mom said, her hair glistening in the golden sunlight. "We are very happy to see you again, but I don't think you should stay. Don't worry; we'll see each other again eventually."

"Yeah!" Johnny piped up happily. "Then we could all play football together, you know, the whole gang. Just like we used to!"

I could picture it: the whole gang playing football outside the church in Windrixville with the golden sun. There was Steve and Two-Bit and Soda, Darry and Johnny and Dally and myself, with Mom and Dad sitting there watching. Then maybe after we'd all go out to the movies or get some drinks, or Mom and Dad would cook us dinner and tell us all stories just like they used to. Tears welled in my eyes at the thought.

"You don't gotta leave," Dally said with a warm smile, "but I think they want you back home."

Just then an earsplitting, heartbreaking "PONYBOY" resounded through the hills, and I knew I was needed back home. Darry and Soda wouldn't be able to go on without me, poor Two-Bit would just die from guilt, and Steve would be so lost. No, I was needed back home; it wasn't my time to join them all here where the sun was golden and the wind was cool.

I stared longingly back into the eyes of my mom and dad, and my friends. "I guess I gotta go, but I sure will miss you guys."

They all gave me the warmest hug I had ever received.

"You best hurry, son," Dad said, and it felt so good to be called 'son.' "You don't have much time."

"Before you go," Mom cut in, "tell Darry we're so proud of him and all he's doing for you and your brother. And tell Soda we love him and miss him so much."

"Yeah!" Dally said to keep it going. "And tell them all I said to don't do anything I would do, okay?"

Johnny then took his turn, "And be sure to tell everyone I love them, and just hi, I guess."

Slowly, just as it had with Two-Bit, darkness was creeping up on my vision. I did the only thing I could think to do at the time - wave. They all waved back as the darkness soon consumed me, taking me away just as it had when I first got to the place where the sun was always gold. Just before I was completely gone, though, I heard Johnny's unscared and happy voice call out one last time, "Stay gold, Ponyboy! Stay gold."

Suddenly I heard someone yell "CLEAR" at the top of their voice, and with a painful lurch my heart started beating in my chest after what felt like an eternity. There were a few whoops of joy, and I was so confused and scared. Things here weren't like they were back at the church. Here I felt pain all over my body; here I was scared and confused; here it wasn't so warm and I just knew the sun didn't stay gold. But I knew here was where I needed to be.

When I woke up, I was met with the faces of the remaining members of the gang, all somber and mainly wet. At first, they looked so pained and sad, I just wanted to envelop them all in a hug and wash away the pain. Then, when they noticed I was awake, they looked a little bit relieved, though not much. I couldn't begin to describe the agony on their faces; I just wanted it gone.

Sodapop was the first to speak. "Pony, baby can you hear me?"

I tried nodding, but I felt a bunch of machines and doohickeys all over me, so I spoke instead, "Yeah, I hear ya Soda." My voice sounded kinda rough and soft, but I was determined to make the sadness go away.

"Glory we were so scared Ponyboy," Darry said, tears streaking his face. No one was crying in Windrixville where the sun was always golden. An idea popped into my head. "We thought you were going to leave just like Mom and Dad did. We were so scared."

"They said 'hi,'" I chocked out in that rough voice I was adopting.

Soda got a real confused look on his face, and said, "Who said hi Pone?"

"Mom and Dad. Johnny and Dally were there too. Mom and Dad said they were so proud of you Dar, and they love and miss you both. Johnny said hi and that he loves all you guys. And Dally said to don't do anything he would do."

For some reason, this made everyone just start bawling. 'Oh well,' I thought, finally realizing how much pain I was in. 'It's okay because we're all here, and when we do leave, we'll just end up in the place where the sun's always gold. We'll all be there eventually, and we can play football and listen to stories all day, there in the place where the sun's always gold.'

--Summer's Song--